I Should Have Been A Cowboy Pt 02

He had no idea how long they had been sitting there but he recognized Megan's voice immediately.

". . .he is around here close.

I can feel it.

I have always been able to sense when he is near.

I just hope he will stop long enough to talk with me so I can explain what we mean to each other.

I have to make him believe me."

The other person must have been Mary but she spoke lower and was a little harder to understand. "I am coming to the belief that he doesn't want to be found or, at least, doesn't want to talk to you. Look, we have been coming to this god forsaken piece of shit land for the last couple of months and still haven't found him. These people aren't helping. Some of them are probably deliberately keeping him up to date on where we are looking so he can go somewhere else. I have never seen anybody be so good at hitchhiking to stay off the grid for so long. Hell, we have driven these highways so much we should have seen him hitching at some point."

"I know but I need to find him and explain."

"I think he understood that day he came and you let him catch us. I just don't think you did a good enough job to prepare him for it."

"I know. I should have brought up polyamory before. I just thought he was sophisticated enough to be on board with it. It doesn't mean that I love him less just because I want to share extraordinary sex with him and you and Mark but I need to tell him that to his face. He won't answer emails or texts and he certainly won't answer his phone when I call."

Mary snorted. "Well, with the spotty cell service up here in God's country it is not out of the question that he might have ditched his phone. But this is starting to be a quest to find the Holy Grail. If he doesn't want to be found we can't keep traveling up here. Mark will have to stay home this next trip to work and I will have to do some extra time at my job to get my supervisor off my ass about how often I am gone. I don't know how your employer is giving you the time off."

"I told her that my husband is missing and I need to find him. She is being very patient with me but I need to go back with you and work a couple of weeks before coming back again to look. Somehow I believe he is staying here in the Sandhills. I don't know why exactly. He had never mentioned this area the whole time we have been together. He has no family here and he certainly can't be working without a vehicle."

"Do you think he bought a different car or pickup and is just leaving his truck in Hyannis to keep us guessing?"

Megan probably shrugged but since Missouri couldn't see her and certainly wasn't going to stand and look at her. "I don't know but I don't think so. Very little money has been spent by him since he left. After the first couple of days of fuel receipts there has been nothing. I wouldn't even know he was in this area except for the alert I posted with law enforcement. A state patrolman talked with Kelly after he was spotted. He was working on that first ranch we checked at. I guess the rancher gave Kelly the heads up that we had been there because we certainly didn't get much help from that guy."

"I can't imagine Kelly doing menial work like that. He is an office dweller who occasionally has to go look at properties around the country. What would ever make him believe he could do whatever they do on a ranch. And to think that they live so primitively. Outhouses and no internet, I couldn't do that."

Missouri almost started laughing until he remembered his bias when he first got to the Circle Bar X. His first general mental impression wasn't far from Mary's.

He took heart in the fact that he never sat in a public space and commented on his perceptions of how backward he had believed ranchers lived. Someone here in the café was probably overhearing Mary and would not be ready to help her or Megan in their search for this Kelly Free.

Suddenly he shook himself. He was so used to being a man called Missouri that he was starting to think of Kelly as a stranger, someone he had known in the past but who had nothing to do with him now. Was he going crazy?

As the women continued to talk he contemplated the difference between Kelly Free and Missouri. Fundamentally they were the same person but Missouri was a ranch hand who had no real ties to anyone but Kelly Free was a married man with responsibilities. Both had standards of right and wrong and Kelly had been wronged by the woman sitting in the next booth. Kelly needed to finish his relationship with Megan but Missouri didn't. He knew there would have to be a reconciliation between his old self and his new self but it wasn't going to happen today. He started to pay attention again to the conversation behind him.

"Mary, I am going to check the library again. They have internet access and Kelly will be needing to send some emails and get some answers from his lawyer. Since I know his passwords I can access his email accounts and see if he is online. I may not know where he is but it will narrow our search. And he might just tell someone, his parents or his lawyer, where he is. Somehow I will track him using his own accounts."

Missouri almost pounded the table in frustration. Shit, he had forgotten that Megan knew the passwords of his private and his Yahoo account. There had been no need for secrecy in their lives until Megan had decided to have multiple sex partners. He would have to rectify that mistake as soon as possible. He racked his brain trying to remember if he or Lawrence had openly discussed his finances in an email or text message. He didn't think so but he would have to check his history. Could Megan see if he was checking old emails?

The duo must have been done eating as they got up and proceeded by Missouri with barely a glance at the man with the full beard and mustache seated in the next booth.

Missouri leisurely finished his cup of coffee since it was very apparent that the two had no clue about his appearance or were even contemplating a change from what they had known. Actually he shouldn't be surprised since he had never worn a mustache or beard before and Megan had always shown disdain at both and had stated she was not attracted to them or even the current fashion of a couple of days beard growth on celebrities and actors.

Missouri picked up his hat after leaving the tip and made his way to the cashier and settled his bill. He still had plenty of cash as he had cashed most of his checks from the Circle Bar X and Ronnie Bentley of the Double B had paid him in cash. He kept most of it hidden in different pockets of his coat, his extra pants, and even the panniers so that it could be accessed but not all in one place.

He went and bought some hard candy. He had always read that the old cowboys loved hard candy when out on the trail. He also purchased a couple of pints of a good whiskey, for medicinal purposes only, of course.

He carried his plastic bag back to the camp. Somehow he must have been very quiet when approaching the camp as he startled the man going through his bags and belongings. Before he could even think about it the .45 was in his hand and pointed at the interloper. "Hands up!"

The man froze in his activity and slowly stood upright. "Turn around, shithead. I like to see who I shoot."

The man slowly turned. It was Mark Brooks and he had a very pale, almost green look to his complexion.

Missouri didn't let on he knew the man. "Well, Sonny Boy, what the hell do you think you are doing?"

Mark managed to squeak out a comment. "I'm looking for someone."

"Well, dumbass, you won't find him in my bags. Empty your pockets."

"What?"

"Listen, fuckhead, I can shoot you right where you stand. Bet no jury around here will even leave the jury box to decide I was justified in shooting a common thief. You will be dead and, hell, I could be long gone before they even find your dumb shit body. Now empty your pockets so I can see that you aren't robbing me. Looking for someone is not a good excuse for stealing my stuff."

Mark tried again. "No, I am actually looking for someone. He is my best friend. My wife and his wife are in town looking for him and I decided to look and see if he was camping out somewhere near here. We have been tracking him and think he is near here. His name is Kelly Free and we need to find him so we can take him home with us. I was just looking to see if something in the bags would identify the owner since there was no one here at the time I arrived. Please, you have to believe me."

"Maybe I do and maybe I don't. I won't say this again. Empty your pockets on that log or I will put a hole somewhere you don't want."

He was slow to comply so Missouri put a round between the dumbshit's feet. He knew he couldn't fire again as it disturbed the horses and the first shot would get someone's attention. Any subsequent round would get people calling the sheriff to investigate but Mark probably wouldn't think about that. It looked like the first round was almost making him lose his bowel control.

Mark shakily emptied his pockets. Missouri was thinking fast. He had to keep his voice low and raspy to keep Mark from recognizing him. Obviously the beard and mustache, probably along with the wide-brimmed hat, were a good disguise.

Seeing that Mark didn't seem to have anything that belonged to him, Missouri indicated that he should pick up his stuff and put it back into his pockets. After that was done Missouri backed Mark to the edge of his encampment. He made sure to keep his voice low. "Why don't you let this person alone?"

Missouri put the .45 back into his holster in the small of his back. Mark started to let his hands come down. "He is my friend and he has to be hurting. We want him to come home so he can heal. His wife wants to apologize and get him back into her life. If nothing else she just wants to talk with him, face to face. She loves him and he has been gone for months."

Mark suddenly looked close at Missouri's face. His scare must have been over and something must have looked familiar about Missouri. "What's your name, stranger?"

"They call me Missouri."

Mark's suspicions were raised now. "Why do they call you Missouri?"

"Well, everyone has to answer to something. Tex is too common, Oklahoma is too long as is South Dakota. Iowa just sounds dumb, Kansas isn't too popular here in the Beef State and Nebraska would be a dumb name here in Nebraska and I don't cotton to Ak-Sar-Ben, which is Nebraska backwards. Now, If I was in Missouri I probably would be called something else entirely."

"But what is your legal name?"

The .45 came back out. "You know asking something like that can get you hurt badly, very badly. For all you know I am an escaped felon. So why don't you learn a little lesson and go back where you came from before you find something you won't digest very well."

Mark's eyes were very wide open as the .45 still looked like a cannon to him. He nodded and slowly backed away. After stumbling a couple of times he turned to look where he was walking and soon was running for his life. He didn't look back.

Missouri gave a wry smile. Yep, now they would know what to call him when looking. Mark wasn't stupid. The disguise worked for a little bit. Actually it wasn't a disguise, more of a easy way of dealing with his being away from civilization.

Missouri started to immediately break camp. Wherever Mark had parked he would be getting there fast. Either the sheriff or Megan would soon be here looking for him. His encampment was in trees and scrub brush so he started downstream to use the brush and trees to hide him versus the open land surrounding the town. If he could get over the hills he could hide again but since he didn't know how long he had, he just had to make do. Since he had broken camp many times it didn't take long, only about ten minutes. The horses were ready after their rest so Missouri let the animals run down the stream for a couple of miles before exiting and starting to circle around Gordon. Cody was east of Gordon but he didn't figure they would have public wi-fi and he needed to contact Lawrence and find out if all of the items he wanted done were finished before he stopped to talk to Megan. She was not going to profit from this.

It took time to negotiate the various fences he encountered but he saw no one official as he did so. The occasional pickup or car that went by as he crossed the highway didn't slow or make any move that might make him think they were interested in him. As a matter of fact, most of the locals just waved and kept on.

By nightfall he was a few miles west and south of Gordon again. He stopped at a farmstead and the owner allowed him to put the horses inside and then bed down in the barn himself. The owner, a single woman with a widowed mother who lived with her, invited him in for supper. He was surprised at the

friendliness offered to him but soon found out that they, like the ranchers, were kind of expecting him to show up.

Martha, the owner, gave out a large laugh when he questioned her. "Missouri, everyone in the area is looking out for you. When the three idiots hit town this time no one was offering any news about the guy they are looking for. Yeah, we aren't as stupid as they believe. We know who you are but we also hear that you are a hard worker, you stay sober and are pleasant to women and a friend to anyone who needs one and so you are one of us. They will look and then go home. The way the story goes they come every other weekend or so and ask questions. Most of the ranches that you have traveled through know you were there but no one bothers you. When you come into town no one questions you. We all figure you have your reasons for why you are here and not talking to her and that is good enough for us. Someday maybe you will tell the real story but I'll warn you the gossip is probably better."

He smiled at her and then proceeded to tell her his story. He started with his old adage of bad things coming in three's and laid them out to her. After telling her the entire story she smiled back at him. "You know, the Lord works in very mysterious ways. You believe three bad things happened to you. First, you lost your job. But think on that. Your boss was an ass who kept trying to get you to live too large and too high on the hog and didn't appreciate you. Now you are free to do the same thing your way, and from how you tell it, there are a lot of clients out there who would be glad to do it your way."

She paused. "Second bad thing was finding your wife is a slut and has no morals. Losing your job that day allowed you to find out. How long would she have continued without you knowing? You say she was planning on that being the day, but was it really? Was she just going to continue to act as she was doing and hope for the best? No, that bad thing turned into a good thing. You got out of a terrible mess that wasn't your making."

Missouri thought about it and started to agree. He was now healthier and more mature than when he was working for Jerry Myers. He was thinking farther ahead in his plans, even though right now he seemed to be living day to day while traveling on horseback.

She continued. "Thirdly, your pickup breaking down in Hyannis. It might not have been any better had you planned on it. The whole thing, driving west out of Missouri, turning north to Nebraska, then turning and heading into the Sandhills. I believe God was sending you to heal. He wanted you to meet that rancher. He wanted you to calve and make hay. You needed the change and He provided it. I imagine you really do look different than you did a few months ago. You said it yourself that your wife walked right by you and didn't recognize you. That other idiot going through your camp may think it was you based on your name but since no one immediately came out to the camp, either he is too afraid of the new you or he doubts that it was really you."

She took a breath before going on. "You probably look older now. Since you are not wearing sunglasses you will have to squint your eyes against the sunlight. Your beard has a couple of gray hairs in it. Your hair is about shoulder length now and I imagine as an office person you usually were short haired and clean shaven. Your hair even has a curl to it and I will bet it never was long enough to do that before."

"I would also hazard a guess that sitting here with me has been the most you have spoken in a while. Your voice gets rusty when you don't talk much. That guy, Mark, would not be able to state that it was your voice he heard."

Missouri chuckled. "He did seem very preoccupied by the end of my gun."

She laughed. "Oh, Lord, everyone is going to get a good laugh about that one. I know, I shouldn't tell anyone what you told me but I will have to the next time I'm in town. That might be tomorrow as I have to go to the church and do some bookwork."

Missouri finally had something to smile about. This lady, at least sixty years old and very large, was funny and had a great disposition. Her mother was still able to get around and help out but was more abrupt in her demeanor. It was hard to envision them as mother and daughter.

Missouri stayed there for a couple of days before heading into town again. He camped again on the edge of town and walked in to do his business. His first stop was the library where he accessed their wi-fi and set up a new throw away free email account and used it to contact Lawrence Roberts. He then called Lawrence's office on his cell phone and was soon letting his attorney know the new email address so he could make sure that any emails from Missouri weren't sent to the Spam file.

Lawrence was able to assure Missouri that the money had all been transferred out of the country and shouldn't be available for Megan to access. He did warn Missouri that the courts could and would demand an accounting of all funds and then would order Missouri to surrender at least fifty percent in the final decree. Missouri asked, "What happens if I never file for divorce?"

"Megan can wait and file for divorce citing abandonment. There would still be an accounting of assets for distribution."

"But what happens if she can't find me to have me served?"

"She will still have a judgment against you for whatever the court decides. I can represent you in absentia but most judges don't like that and will penalize you for your unwillingness to appear."

He paused for emphasis. "Face it, Kelly. The courts are stacked against the man in these affairs. Up until the late '60s it was all too often the man of the marriage who came away with the lion's share of the assets while his poor wife and children suffered. Now the courts are biased against the male and bend over backwards to reward the female. It also assumes that the male is making more than the female, which in your case was true until you lost your job. Her attorney will also try to make out that you only allowed her a pittance of what was rightfully hers by community property laws. The court will probably agree and punish you for leaving her. There is seldom any consideration for what you were going through, especially in the larger cities where men seem to be emasculated at every turn."

Missouri countered. "Since I have established residency here, is there any way we can file here and have a local court hear my case against her?"

"No, sorry, your marriage and most of your married life together were here in Missouri and should be heard by a local court and judge. If you could get her to establish residency there, wherever you are, then there is a chance you might get a better judgment."

"I guess we just leave things the way they are for now. I will start moving again. There is a lot of area for me to travel and a lot of square miles for her to search for me. I will contact you again when I get the chance. For now we will continue as we have been doing."