I know my wife, and I know she wants something big.
Susan is dressed in her sexiest outfit, a tight red dress with a plunging neck and a short hemline. She has accessorized it with jewelry meant to accentuate her incredible natural beauty, but also meant to highlight our shared past: a brooch I gave her on our fifteenth anniversary, a necklace from her third Mother's Day, earrings I gifted her on our honeymoon. Her high heels complement long, fishnet-clad legs. She's cooked my favorite dinner, and she has waited on me hand and foot since I came through the door.
These are beyond the usual lengths she goes to when she wants something from me. I've tried to be a generous husband, but I'm not made of money. I've worked as a personal injury attorney in private practice for most of my career, and while that has allowed our family a certain level of comfort, there are still limits. This level of effort means that she is asking for something far beyond those limits.
I know my wife, and I know that what she wants is far more than we can afford.
Susan was able to stay home and raise our two children, who are now out of the house and away at college. She's been a good wife and mother; she's a wonderful cook, has tried to stay fit and trim, is generous in bed, was always first to volunteer at the kids' schools, and makes me feel loved and appreciated. Over the years, though, she has tried numerous things to alleviate the boredom of being a stay at home mom: birdwatching, makeup sales, writing, and many more.
When she has wanted to try a particularly expensive hobby, she would put the full court press on, much like she is now. When she wanted to go back to work after the kids left home, it was a far simpler affair; she knew I didn't need much convincing, since for once she'd be bringing money home instead of spending it. But it's been two years since she started working again. That's quite a bit longer than the usual amount of time it takes her to get bored with a new hobby, put it on the shelf, and start looking for something new. This was overdue.
I know my wife, and I know what she's like when she has a new obsession.
Susan serves dinner, and we talk lightly about my day as we eat. This is always part of the dance. Trying to get her to what she really wants will only ruin a nice dinner, because she thinks she has this process down to a science. She read a book on negotiation during her self-improvement phase, a hobby that lasted a blessedly short amount of time. She believes that holding to a rigid timetable and only giving information when she wants to is the key to getting what she wants. It's not a bad strategy, but she's used it so often that I can see all of her plays from a mile away.
After dinner, she cleans up and asks me to sit with her in the living room. I sit in my chair, and she stands, as usual. She wants to give an impassioned defense of whatever wild hair she's off on, so she wants the ability to range about the room. She will make her case, telling me how happy this will make her. She'll offer something in exchange: new golf clubs, promises of financial return, an indulgence of time and money for one of my pet projects. Something she feels is of commensurate value. If I accept, she will fall in my lap and ask me to take her to bed, promising sexual delights as an additional reward, usually scaling in value with whatever she's gotten. If I say no, I can expect an icy bedroom for weeks or months, and she may try to go behind my back, then ask forgiveness later. Over the years, it's been easier to simply say yes, knowing she'll get bored before sinking too much into her temporary mania.
I know my wife, and I know she's trying hard for an easy "yes."
Susan begins to talk about her work. She's enjoyed working there, but there's a new young manager that has taken particular interest in her. At first, I nod along, thinking she means that he wants to mentor her, or that she's bucking for a promotion. I know that this will mean longer hours, and I expect that she's angling to cut back on her responsibilities at home.
Then I realize she's no longer talking about her job, she's talking about the manager. He's from a wealthy family. He's handsome, well-traveled, and athletic. He has leveraged his family name and business acumen to rise through the ranks quickly at her place of work. She had trained him not long after she started, and now he's her boss. She speaks at length about him and only of positive qualities.
I know my wife, and I know what her new obsession is.
Susan tells me that they've become close. She says that she had not mentioned him previously because she rarely talked about her work at all. As she talks about him, I remember seeing him once at a Christmas party. He came over and said hello to both of us. He seemed very friendly towards her, but quickly melted back into the crowd, and I thought nothing of it.
