I Just Had to Have Heidi . . . On the Eve of Wedding (Part 2)
It was a month before my wedding and my mom called me, which is something she had done a lot of lately as she had completely taken over the wedding planning. I mean you would think it was her getting married, but I was fine with her doing all the work, it made things little less stressful for me. Since we had talked nearly every day I immediately sensed something was off. After a while, I finally came right out and asked her what was wrong.
"You got a letter for you today."
'So,' I thought, even though I had moved out over a year and half ago some of my mail still came to my parents house. I was starting to get annoyed at my mom because she was acting all weird about some random letter.
"It's from Rich . . ."
I didn't even hear the rest as my heart stopped and my privates tingled. A couple of years ago Rich and I dated, pretty serious for me. My parents had like him at the time, but their opinion soon changed when things appruptly ended between us. They had a front row seat to see my heart broke and tears. They thought it was just their daughter's first broken heart. What they didn't know was that while I did really like him, he took my virginity and fucked me in every room, bed and shower of their house. He even bent me over the kitchen table and rammed me doggie style where we ate our Sunday meal.
Not long after our magical weekend Rich and I broke up because while I loved his body and having sex with him, I felt so guilty about premarital sex that I told him we had to stop doing it. He listened to what I had to say then drove me out into the desert and fucked me in his car, which is what I really wanted him to do. He then informed me that if we stop having sex, we were over. The guilty over-came the pleasure of our love making and we broke up.
I cried and cried and cried and when I had no more tears to shed I mooped around the house for a couple of month. I thought of Rich every night and while I was angry at him, it never stopped from rubbing myself to an orgasm thinking about our weekend alone. The memory that always put me over-the-top was when I was riding him on my parents' bed.
After a couple of months my friends tried to cheer me up and set me up with the most wonderful man in the world, John. I had met him a couple of time playing softball as our companies played each other. He seemed nice enough at the time and I guess I really caught his eye because he asked one of my friends to set us up. Our first date was dinner and a movie, much like my first date with Rich, but John was the perfect gentleman. The more I got to know him the more I found I liked him. He was 12 years older than me, he never really dated growing up as he was pretty nervous around women, he was a virgin and he was completely head-over-heels in love with me. John was taller than me but he was a little over weight and while there was nothing remarkable about his looks, the more I got to know him the cuter I found him. He on the other hand, found me gorgous and told me that often, which was what I really needed at the time. I didn't feel quite the same way about him but after getting my heart broken by Rich I knew that deep down inside this man would never hurt me and would always take care of me.
After four months of dating John asked me to marry him and I was more than willing to accept his offer. Because John and I were both religious, we decided to save ourselves for our wedding night. We discussed sex on one of our earlier dates and he said he was a virgin and I just couldn't tell him that I had completely been the whore of another man and had enjoyed it so deeply that I constantly pleasured myself to the memory. So I just told him I was a virgin too.
Now mere weeks from the wedding I got a letter from Rich?
'That fucking prick' is all I could think. Yet, I was still curious; did he know I was getting married? Did he want to come to the wedding? Did he want me back? I had no idea and while my mind was going a mile-a-minute I finally snapped back to reality when I heard my mom say,
"Heidi, did you hear me? I can open it up and read it if you want."
"No mom," god I didn't want her to read that letter, "I've got to pick up some stuff over at the house later so I'll just pick it up then."
And while I did have to pick some stuff up at their house, it was nothing that couldn't wait. I just really wanted to see what Rich had to say.
Once I arrived I got the letter from my mom and as innociently as I could, made up some nonsense about having an appointment and I was off. I drove away from my folks' place but my curiousity got the better of me as I pulled over into a strip mall parking lot, opened the letter and read it.
Dear Heidi,
I hope this letter finds you well. I know we haven't talked for a while and I am sorry, that one's on me. I feel terrible how things ended between us and I just wanted to explain to you why I was the way I was and why I acted the way I did. You see when we met we were both graduating. And while you were off to your job and its leadership training program, I had nothing. No job and really no idea what I wanted to do. I know it is a corny clichΓ© but I was a rudderless ship and that summer I fell into a depression. It was a horrible summer for me but you were my one bright spot and for that I truly wanted to thank you. After I ended things between us, a decision I made for a foolish reason and one I regret to this day.