I Have A Problem

Thank you to my anonymous editor for all the wonderful work she does to make my stories a much better read.

My problem is I'm somewhere between a pessimist and a realist. My name is Phil Ayers and I'm twenty-six-years old. I love women and have dated ever since high school and through college. I've had sex with a lot of women. My problem is I can't get myself to trust them. I would like to find that one special woman to love and grow with and have a family.

Ever since I started dating, I enjoyed most of the women I'd been with. But I'm afraid to fall in love. I don't want to put my heart out there and have it broken. I'm doing a horrible job of explaining myself. Maybe I should start at the beginning.

I come from a family of two brothers and one sister. They are all older than me. Our ages were fifteen, thirteen, ten and then me at five years old at the time. It all began when my mother went out with her girlfriends for a girl's night out. I don't remember much but a lot was passed down to me as I got older.

Dad didn't trust mom. I had heard that it was because he cheated on her with a few girls at the bar. I believe that because he cheated he thought my mother probably did too. He asked my brother to watch us for a couple of hours and ordered us pizza for dinner. He waited two hours before following mom. He overheard her say where they were going. Rumor has it he followed mom and her friends to a motel that had a lounge. When he got there, the women were sitting with a group of men.

Mom and one man went up in the elevator. Dad followed and waited fifteen minutes before knocking on the door and saying, 'room service, extra towels'. The man opened the door and my dad saw my mom naked on the bed. He hit the man with a right cross against the side of his head. The man fell and dad kicked him in the gonads. Mom was screaming and security showed up and arrested my dad.

My mom came home in a taxi and dad went to the police station where they held him overnight. The man didn't file charges because he was married also and just told his wife he got into a fight. The next day mom and dad had a big argument and dad went to a lawyer and applied for a divorce. They both stayed at the house but dad lived in the basement. Our house was a very unhappy one but we all survived.

After the divorce, dad moved into a two-bedroom apartment. It was only a block away so us kids could visit with him most anytime. The funny part was my parents both still loved each other. Dad and mom both attended our family functions and were respectable to each other. They also attended most of our school activities. Neither one of them ever remarried but I heard they dated other people.

My oldest brother Allen was twenty-two when he met a girl named Beth. They talked about how much they loved each other and Allen asked for her hand in marriage. They seemed like the perfect couple, always hugging and kissing. They had a daughter who was the cutest little thing. She was my niece.

Beth wanted to go to her five-year class reunion. Allen had to work that day so Beth went alone. She was mad at Allen for not taking the day off. Allen felt bad about not being there for her and asked to leave work after half a day. He was on the afternoon shift. Mom was watching the baby at her house so Allen went home, cleaned up, and went to surprise Beth at the reunion.

He found Beth hugging and kissing her old high school boyfriend. No one there really knew Allen so he didn't have to hide. He watched while her old boyfriend groped her and had his hands under her dress. He watched him remove her panties and she was smiling. That's the first time she saw him and yelled out "Allen, what are you doing here?"

"The real question is, why does he have your panties in his hands? Don't come home tonight. Mom has the baby. As for you, buddy, if I see you again we'll be going round and round."

Everyone around them in the hall heard everything. Beth was yelling for Allen to wait but it was too late. Beth and her friend were the talk of the reunion.

Allen went to a lawyer and three months later, they were divorced. They weren't even married a year so they didn't have much to divide up. They were renting and Allen let her stay there. He just had to pay child support. He could see his child as often as he wanted. Beth wanted him back but to this day, it hasn't happened.

Charlie, my second brother, was an easygoing guy. He went to college and dated some. He ended up with a nice looking woman. He worked in a lumberyard and she was a secretary. They moved in together and their life appeared to be happy. They seemed like the perfect couple. They dated for two years before he asked her to marry him. After they had their second child, his wife stopped working to be a stay at home mom. When both of the kids were in school, Dana decided to go back to work.

After six months, Dana seemed to change. She was dressing sexier for work and had to work late more often. Charlie felt there was a problem because their sex life had dropped off quite a bit. Of course, he thought it had a lot to do with taking care of the kids. Dana mentioned she had an overnight stay on Friday. She and another secretary had to go to a business meeting and it would be too late to drive home. She would be home on Saturday.

She and Deloris, the other secretary, would be sharing a room and the two bosses, Art and Bob, would have another. He told her he didn't like the idea but wouldn't stop her. She told him that he didn't trust her even though she had never done anything wrong. She went straight from work to Dayton.

Dana's mother was watching the kids so when Charlie got off work he decided to drive to Dayton. It might piss Dana off but he couldn't sit at home and wonder what was going on. He hoped he was wrong. He got to the hotel around eight o'clock. Then he checked the registration desk to see what rooms the men were in. Since he gave them the men's names, the girl working there told him the room numbers.

Charlie decided to go to the lounge and order a drink before he did anything else. He saw Dana with two men and another woman in a booth near the back. He took his drink and went to a small table where they couldn't see him. About nine o'clock they all got up and went to the elevators. Charlie followed twenty minutes later and went to one of the two rooms. He knocked and hoped for the best. Deloris answered the door. He didn't know her except by name, but she had been with Dana. Behind her taking off his shirt was one of the two men.

"I'm sorry. I must have the wrong room."

Charlie was afraid his suspicions were true. He tapped lightly on the other door and a man opened it up slightly.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I would like to speak to my wife."

Charlie pushed the door open and saw Dana grab a blanket to cover herself.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?"

"Are you hiding your naked body?" Charlie asked. "I'm checking up on my cheating wife. The kids are with your mother. I suggest you don't come home for a couple of days. I'll be out of the house by Monday. It's all yours. Bob or Art, whoever you are, I will be contacting your employer. You two have a great evening."

The man stepped back toward the door, raising his arm and making a fist.

"Don't be stupid, asshole. I'll send you into the second Tuesday of next week. If I ever see you again, I'll probably do it anyway. Right now you're not worth going to jail for."

Seething with anger, Charlie drove home. His adrenaline was more than enough to keep him awake. Dana called his cell phone a half dozen times, leaving messages. He didn't read any of them. When Charlie got home, it was the wee hours of the morning. He rested for a couple of hours and then started packing all of his belongings. When he finished, he left a note telling her he wasn't interested in any of her excuses and was contacting a lawyer. They were divorced six months later.

My sister Sue has been married twice already. She was married at twenty-one to a real estate agent. He was a rather slick talker and probably talked her out of her pants. Anyway, she got pregnant and Roger said he would marry her. He told my dad that he was in love with her. They seemed to be happy but three years later, she was pregnant with her second child. During her pregnancy, she stopped by his office and caught him having sex with his assistant.

During the divorce, Roger said he thought Sue cheated on him also. The baby was born the next month and Roger asked for a DNA test for both kids. They came back and the first baby, a girl, was his. The second baby, a boy, was not his. That meant he only had to pay support for the one child.

Sue said she had sex with an old boyfriend she had before she knew Roger. She said she was still in love with him and called him to tell him about the baby. He was happy about it and said he had always loved Sue. They ended up getting married shortly after her divorce from Roger was final.

That brings me back to why I'm afraid to get married. It was as though my family had a hex on them. All of their marriages looked like they would last a lifetime. Of course, I didn't believe in hexes but it must take something special for marriages to last.

I've been an insurance agent for five years now. I own the agency, which was unusual for a guy my age. Four agents work for me. I also have a receptionist but I never dated any of the women in my office.

I had a longtime friend, Mary, who was the girl next-door type. She literally had lived next to my family. I guess she was the closest thing to a buddy I had. She was a year younger than me and was a tomboy.

I was always somewhat of a wimp when I was little. I hardly ever played sports. I played the piano and later learned the guitar. Kids at grade school pushed me around and Mary started fighting my battles. In middle school, I asked my dad if I could join a gym. I started some body building classes and took them for the next seven years. I didn't want the bulging muscles but the six pack abs type.

In high school, Mary and I didn't really hang around together. She was in all the women's sports. We stayed friends but weren't as close anymore. I still considered her my friend and I tried to make most of her games. She played softball, basketball, volleyball, and went out for track. Needless to say, she was very popular.

I started dating my senior year. I did ask Mary if she wanted to go to the prom. She told me she was going with John Manning. He asked her three weeks before. John was named prom king and Mary was a junior so she couldn't be queen. I asked Lisa who was somewhat of a geek like me and she agreed to go with me. Her mom and my mom were friends. We had a nice time and I treated her with respect.

I didn't have sex with anyone till I was in college. I took business management and only had to go for two years. I wanted to go away for college to get away from my family. I loved them all but needed to be on my own.

I did make it home for Mary's graduation. What a party! It seems most everyone from her class attended. I was lucky if I talked to her for ten minutes. I heard she was prom queen her senior year. That didn't surprise me. She was going to state on a sports scholarship. I'm not even sure what sport it was for.

I met a lot of girls in college and had sex with a lot of them. I began to come out of my shell and became somewhat popular. It seems the girls liked it that I was somewhat shy and played the piano. At different parties, they asked me to play. Some girls told me they were looking for the right man. Something told me that a marriage with any of them wouldn't last.

I stopped looking for that special woman. I figured if it was meant to be, it would just happen. I did have talks with many women about their wants and needs. Some seemed like they were genuine but I think most were just telling me what they thought I wanted to hear.

I've been out of college for a few years, I was in the office and my receptionist called me and said a customer wanted to see me. I asked her if any of the other agents were available but the customer asked for me specifically. I told her to send her in. I stood up to greet the customer and was shocked to see Mary.

I have to admit that I was shocked. "Mary, it's so good to see you. I haven't seen you since your graduation party. What can I do for you?"

"Well Phil, I graduated from college and am now a teacher in the local school system. I bought a car and thought about you when it came to insurance."

My stomach was churning and for some reason I was nervous. "No problem, we can take care of that." I had her sit down and I filled out the form taking her information. She looked even prettier than I remembered. After finishing with the business, I asked her if she had time to do lunch and talk over old times.

She smiled and said she was starting at the school Monday but she didn't know if she should. She was seeing someone.

"Mary, it's only lunch with an old friend. It's just that I haven't seen you for so long."

"OK, but I'll drive myself and meet you there. It's so good to see you again."

We decided to meet at a restaurant not far from the office. After we parked our cars, I opened her door. She smiled as she got out and we walked inside. We sat in a booth near the back wall. We both ordered coffee and she asked me to talk first.

"Well Mary, you were always my buddy and friend while we grew up. After we got into middle school and then high school, you went into all kinds of sports. I was so proud of you. I attended almost all your games."

"I never knew you went to them. I thought I might have seen you a couple of times but wasn't sure. Why didn't you come down and talk to me?"

"You were out of my league. You belonged to the elite part of the school. I didn't want to embarrass you. I was more of the geek squad at the time. I guess it's all right to tell you now that I had a crush on you all through high school."

"I can't believe you didn't come and talk to me. You were always my friend."

"I did ask you to the prom but you already had a date. I saw you there. You looked so beautiful. My first date was with Lisa Allen and I had a nice time. I remember giving her a kiss when I took her home. I thought of you when I kissed her. The following week I heard she went out with a jock and he bragged about having sex with her. I felt a bit stupid.

"I did go to your graduation the following year. I heard that you were prom queen. That didn't surprise me. I remember you giving me a light kiss when I said goodbye. I'll never forget it. Your turn to tell me something."

"You seem to know everything I did in high school. I want you to know I did think about you and all the things we did together as kids. Between studying, practice, and games, I didn't have much free time. I know you think I was popular but I tried to treat everyone the same. I didn't date much because my parents were rather strict. I went to the state college four years on a volleyball scholarship. I wasn't a big party girl but did attend a few. Not every girl goes to college to party. I went for the education and I had to keep my grades up for the scholarships I had. I got a Bachelors Degree in teaching. I taught for two years in Dover and then there was an opening here in my hometown, so I applied and got the position. I found out you had an insurance agency and came to you."

"Mary the big question is who are you seeing and how serious is it?"

"Phil, I'm sorry, I sort of lied to you. I was afraid if I told you the truth you wouldn't want to go to lunch with me. I don't really have a boyfriend. I have a son who is two-years-old. After graduation from college, I went to a big celebration. My so-called date put a drug in my drink and then used me." She had tears in her eyes.

"I never dated him again after that party. I contacted him a couple of months later and told him I was pregnant. He said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. He told me to get an abortion and gave me nine hundred dollars to pay for it. He told me that he wasn't the only one to use me when I passed out either. I sat down and cried. There was no way I would abort my baby. If you want nothing to do with me, I understand."

"Does he know you had the baby?" I asked.

"No, he thought I had the abortion. He doesn't even know the baby exists."

"Mary I'm sorry you went through all that. I wish I had been there to protect you. You are still my friend and I would like to see you more. What did you name your baby?"

"Phillip, after an old friend." She smiled. "I'm surprised you aren't married. Are you a confirmed bachelor?"

"I just haven't found the right woman. Mary, I'm afraid to get married. You were there when my parents, two brothers and my sister all got married. They all seemed happy and then all got divorced. I don't want that to happen to me. I want to meet that special woman who loves me for who I am and who we can really trust each other and have a family together."

We ate our lunch and I asked her if I could see her again. She said she would like that. She had moved back in with her parents and her mom took care of Phillip when she was working.

I asked her if I could come by and see her Saturday. She looked a bit nervous and said she already had plans for Saturday but was free the following weekend. I mentioned I'd call her midweek and maybe we could set up something. She smiled and agreed. I gave her a light hug and we said goodbye. I had her address and phone number on the insurance forms.

I sat there remembering all our good times when we were kids. I actually thought she would have been married before now. I was surprised that she had a child but I figured she would make a great mother. She hadn't mentioned much about the man who got her pregnant, but I knew I wouldn't ever forget the few things she did say. I had his name and the dealership he worked at.

On Saturday, our office was only open half a day. I decided to take a ride past Mary's house. She was standing on the porch dressed up and was walking down her front stairs holding a man's hand. He was wearing a suit. They were getting ready to get in a car. She looked up and saw me go past. She had a look of surprise on her face and I felt like an idiot. I just kept driving.

Everything you could think of went through my mind. Was this a relative, boyfriend, date? I felt sad but maybe I had a chance with her. I stopped by my mom's house and she asked me to stay for lunch. I mentioned to her that Mary came in the other day and bought some insurance. Mom asked about her and I told her she was as pretty as ever. I did mention she had a son but wasn't married.

I went home and had the hardest time sleeping. Seeing Mary again just got to me. I figured I'd have to try and forget about her. On Monday, I went to work and did my best to keep busy. My receptionist asked me if everything was all right. I told her I had a little trouble sleeping over the weekend.

Just before five o'clock, she said that Mary Moore would like to see me. I told her to send her in. I stood up and asked her to take a seat. We both started to talk at the same time so I spoke again first.

"Mary, I'm sorry for driving by your place. I wasn't stalking you. I was thinking about you and drove by on my way home. I'm sorry."

"Phil, I'm the one who needs to apologize. I should have told you I had a date Saturday. Jim is the principal at the school I used to teach at. He asked me out two weeks ago. We've dated a few times. I know he has a crush on me but I just like him as a friend. Do you still want to go out Saturday?"

"Yes, I actually thought we would go to a baseball game and maybe out to dinner, depending on how much we eat at the game. I would like to meet little Phillip also."