I Did It My Way

I Did It My Way

(Or was it her way?)

By

littleOneWon

CH 1

And now, the end is here

And so I face, that final curtain

We were on our way home from Duke University. There had been three of us in our motorhome on the way up, but now it's just the two of us. Annalise has been crying intermittently for hours. She keeps saying, "How can I live without my boy? Does my life have any purpose now? I feel so alone."

I said, "Anna, we should stop early so we can have a meal at a nice restaurant and toast ourselves for successfully raising such a gifted and intelligent boy. No one else from our little town has ever qualified to enter a top-tier school like Duke. Our David has done that! Right this minute, he's back there breathing some very rare air. What an accomplishment! We made it happen! We deserve a celebration."

She yelled, "What the hell, Basil? Do you actually want me to celebrate the saddest day of my life? There's no way I'm consuming celebratory alcohol with you tonight. We will keep on driving until we get home. Never mind that it might be in the wee hours of the morning. I intend to sleep in my son's bed tonight and cry myself to sleep. I intend to mourn."

"But Anna, from the beginning we knew that our task was to prepare David to face the world on his own. We spent many happy hours doing just that. We enjoyed that time immensely and we've built memories that will last forever. His arrival at Duke serves to mark the beginning of the final step in our task.

"When he graduates, our task will have been completed. After that, he will be on his own. We will be there for him with support, but not with any demands or even with any unsought advice.

"If he asks us for something, we will respond. Our response should treat him as an adult. He will always be our son, but he's not our lap child anymore."

She bristled, "That's easy for you to say. You weren't there half of the time. Your precious job had you gone in the evenings or even working all night. Shit, the few times that you were home for supper found you too tired to interact with your son. Don't you 'lap child' me!"

I delayed a minute to calm down. After that, I reminded her that I was absent during the evenings for only one week out of four. My schedule rotation had me on the day shift for two weeks, then the midnight shift for one week, and finally the evening shift for one week. After that, it was rinse and repeat.

"That's bullshit, Basil," she screamed. "When you were working the graveyard shift, you had to sleep many an evening because you had trouble sleeping during the day. Even when that didn't happen, you were too groggy to interact with me or David. It's more like you missed nearly half of all the evenings."

"Anna, I made sure that I spent time with you and David each and every evening. Yes, there were times when I was a little tired, but I was never groggy and you know it. If I had been groggy at work, I could have caused some airplanes to crash! That never happened. You know it and I know it. The only evenings that might be exceptions were the times when I had influenza, a prostate infection, or a bad cold."

She was about to say more when her phone rang. I heard only her half of the conversation:

Hello, Dad.

Yes, David's all set and we're on our way home.

Yes, I think so. It was hard, but he seemed to be happy.

No, he didn't, but I did.

You've done more than your part, Dad. You were a dad to him every bit as much as you were to me. I know he appreciates it and so do I. He would have been fatherless without you.

Yes, I'm certain that he does and so do I.

Yes, he can hear me, but not you. Don't worry about him.

Basil, Dad says, Hi.

Dad, I intend to sleep in his bed tonight and probably cry myself to sleep.

Oh, that would be even better, but we won't be arriving till past midnight.

Yes, I will. I'll have him drop me off and we can cry together. I'll still be able to sleep in his bed. I'll use the one that he used when he stayed with you guys.

I wondered how she was taking it. Hopefully, you've been able to comfort her.

Of course. I'll be happy to do that. Put her on.

Hi, Mom. Yes, I'm going to. I might even stay longer since all of us are upset.

Oh, he's taking it all in stride. He even suggested that we stop for a drink to celebrate.

Yes, that's exactly what he suggested.

I know!

I know!

Don't worry, that's not going to happen.

Okay, see you soon.

Bye

Anna had tears in her eyes when she finished talking to her parents. She confirmed what I had surmised from her conversation, she was going to stay with her parents for a while. Maybe a week or so. She didn't ask for my permission or my approval. She didn't even invite me over for supper.

Since she was going to be gone, I needed to say some things to her right now, instead of later.

I began by telling her that she knew what I did for a living and what my shifts were like when she married me. To suggest that I was a part-time father was a little much. Implying that her dad was more of a father to David than I was, went way too far.

"Why do you think Duke offered a scholarship to David?" I asked.

She didn't answer, so I enlightened her. "It was because he's probably the best high school point guard available. Did your dad teach him to play basketball? Did your dad teach him anything?

"You know damn well that I spent hours with David on a basketball practice court that I constructed in our backyard. I taught him everything that I had learned playing roundball in high school and college. When he surpassed me, I hired a former basketball pro to take over.

"Who was it that helped him with Algebra, Trig, and Calc? I may have lost a little since college, but you heard David give me credit for helping him through math and science. You surely heard him say that at his graduation party unless you were too drunk to care."

I pointed out that despite my crazy schedule, I missed very few of his games. No more than any other dad had missed. I reiterated that his path to Duke was fueled by his basketball expertise, not his academic record.

"Your dad couldn't hit a bucket if his life depended on it. He contributed nothing appreciable to David's success story."

She countered, "Dad put a chunk of money in David's 529 plan."

"Well, dear, for every chunk he gave, I contributed a ton. When David graduates, he will have zero debt. There will be no need for college loans. We gave him some money from our joint account, but I gave him most of what I got from my royalties. My two inventions are what will pay the lion's share of his way through Duke.

"Who knows, he may even end up playing for a professional roundball team. He'll get a lot of attention at Duke. I would say his future is bright. I still think it should be celebrated and I will do that even if you don't participate."

She asked me why I couldn't commiserate with her loss. I told her it was nothing short of selfish. "You would rather sink down in your own sorrow than rise up and celebrate our son's success.

"I will miss him too. I'll think about him every day, but my sorrow will be overshadowed by my happiness for him. There will be joy for what he's already accomplished and confidence for what he will achieve in the future. Our job is almost over and we did it well. We deserve to celebrate. I will do so, even if I'm by myself."

She said, "You do that! It's so you. You celebrate while those around you cry."

I answered. "I see a lot of tears in your future, dear. I see a flood of tears,"

She looked worried for the first time today. She looked at me and shook her head. She was crying already.

She was wiping her tears away as I took her suitcase into her parent's house. We spent a while talking about the good times that we all enjoyed with David and our hopes for his future.

She was able to smile slightly as she walked me to the door just before sunup. I grabbed her and gave her a long but chaste kiss. She said, "What brought that on, tiger?"

I said, "I'm going to miss you."

She countered, "It's only for a couple of days."

I knew better.

CH 2

I did what I had to do

And saw it through without exemption

When I got to our house, I left the motorhome in the driveway and entered the garage through the pedestrian door. I was immediately able to confirm that my buddy, Alvin, had been there as planned. My workbench and all of my tools were gone.

I walked through the rest of the house and sure enough, every trace of me had been removed. Alvin had done his job perfectly. There was absolutely nothing left for me to do.

I could sleep one last time in our bed, but that would just serve to remind me one last time of what had happened there many years ago.

This was going much better than I planned. I had envisioned having to deal with a raging-mad Annalise before I left for the extended stay suite that would be my home for a couple of months. Would she deny everything or would she capitulate? Now, since she wasn't here, that question would hang in the air for a while longer.

I wandered out to the front porch and sat in the swing. I remembered many happy hours there with David. For the first few years, I held him in my arms and watched his eyes glow as he broke out in happy laughter. Later on, he sat on my lap. After that, we sat side by side. Before long, we were identifying the world's problems, solving them, and then moving on to the most important of topics, which was basketball. This swing is not just a piece of outdoor furniture, it's a sacred altar.

I looked one last time at the blue house across the street. My Aunt Shelly was living there when we bought this house. In fact, she was the one who told us about it going on the market. A few years later, it was a conversation with her that would end up changing everything for me.

The FAA had sent me to the Academy at Oklahoma City to update my air traffic controller training to include using the new computer that was being installed at our Air Route Traffic Control Center (ARTCC). I was gone for two weeks. It was a few days after my return when my aunt beckoned me over and asked me if I knew anyone in this town who drove a silver BMW. I said, "No, I don't. I'm quite certain that no one in this town has a BMW of any color."

I went on to tell her that I saw some BMWs in the "big town" where the ARTCC is located, but they were rare even there. I was about to expand on that when her landline phone rang. She scurried off to answer it. She had an iPhone, but she wouldn't part with her landline. I strolled back home wondering why my aunt was interested in foreign cars.

All of that was forgotten when I found out that I had failed my certification test on the new computer system. I couldn't believe it. My world collapsed around me. I found it hard to face life as a loser. In fact, I considered my life to be over. I had always prided myself on being one of the best controllers ever to work the boards. Failing to certify was such a downer that I even contemplated suicide. It was bad. It was awful.

When I was at my lowest, my boss, Larry Jones, called me in and said that he was willing to give me a "second chance" to qualify. He offered to let me go back to the Academy to audit the second week of training. He said the academy would allow a few controllers to audit one week of classes. He explained that most of what I missed on the test was covered in the second week. I was very grateful for that opportunity and vowed to study harder than ever before.

I hated to leave Anna for another week, but I had to pass that test. We had a mortgage to pay, along with two car payments and student loans. I had to pass!

When I got back from auditing the second week of training, Larry did give me another chance to certify. I didn't sleep a wink the night before the test. Even so, this time, when I completed the test, Larry told me that I had aced it. Thank you, Jesus! I went from failing to having the best score possible. That extra week of training that he got for me paid off in spades!

The downside to all of it was that I would always have that 'failure to certify' on my record. Oh, well. At least, things were beginning to improve!

About a month later, Anna rocked my world. I came home to find the house dark except for some candles lighting up the dining room. There was a bottle of wine on the table and two juicy steaks on the platter. Hanging from the chandelier was a hand-written sign that read, "Congratulations Tiger."

When I caught my breath, I wondered aloud, "For what?"

She said, "You are going to be a dad!"

We were happy beyond measure. The next nine months flew by for me, but probably not for Anna. Her pregnancy was not a "walk in the park," but when David arrived, it was all worth it. She was ecstatic and so was I.

As time passed, everything was looking up for us. David was a healthy little guy, I was a proud father, and Anna was a glowing mother. To top it all off, the Air Traffic Manager called me in and told me that I was being promoted. I had been selected to replace Larry Jones. It was probably because I had aced that certification test!

I assumed that my promotion happened because Larry had moved up the ladder. That turned out to be wrong. Larry had been fired! It takes a lot to fire a seasoned civil servant. What did he do or fail to do? That seemed to be a big secret!

A couple of weeks after my promotion, Larry was waiting for me beside my car when I got off work! I didn't recognize him at first. He was unshaven and unkempt. I could smell alcohol on his breath. He said, "My good man, congratulations. You struck gold because of your wife and I struck out for the same reason."

He was slurring his words, but those words sure got my attention. He handed me some papers and then staggered out of the parking lot and got into his car, which was parked at the curb. I didn't say a word. I just stood there and watched him drive away. I should have been worrying that he would have a drunken accident, but my worries were very different.

I'd never seen him drive that car before. He always rode his Harley to work. Having said that, why was I worried? It had to do with his car. There were some FAA stickers on the rear window. More importantly, it was a silver BMW!

When I got in my car, I looked at the papers that he'd given me. They were the pages of a DNA laboratory report. They certified a genetic relationship between the Larry Jones sample and "Sample # 2." The relationship was paternal. Larry was the father of whomever was represented by Sample # 2, which was further identified as a hair sample.

Scribbled below the report was a note in Larry's handwriting. It stated that sample #2 was taken from a tuft of hair that he obtained from David's picture on my desk.

I knew what he was referring to. David was born with a lot of hair for a newborn. One of the pictures of him on my desk was a picture taken shortly after his birth. It showed his abundance of hair. There was a small plastic box next to the picture that contained some of David's baby hair. Oh, shit!

I hid the evidence under my car seat. I tried my best to act naturally that evening around Anna.

At my first opportunity, I got my own sample of David's hair. I added a sample of my hair and delivered both samples to a local DNA lab. I needed to know if there was a relationship between the two samples. A few days later, I learned that I was not David's biological father. His father was Larry Jones. There was no doubt about that!

Taking the next logical step, I brought up a genetic site on my laptop and entered the date that David was born. I also entered the date of Anna's last menstrual period before she discovered her pregnancy. It was marked on our calendar. When I hit the calculate button, it returned the most probable date of David's conception.

I did some quick investigating and determined that it happened when I was at the Academy for my "second chance" training. While I was in Okie City all by myself and missing Anna, she was at home, not all by herself, and obviously not missing me. I felt my heart slipping to the floor.

The next morning, I fumbled around and let Anna get out of the house before I did. I needed to talk to Aunt Shelly. I needed to ask her about that silver BMW that she had seen.

As it turned out, she had become suspicious when the driver just parked the car in our driveway and sat there. After a few minutes, she decided to take a picture with her phone. Maybe he was a thief casing our house. She called Alice and told her about the car.

Shortly after that, the man walked to the door. He knocked. He talked to Anna for a while. She let him in. The next time Shelly looked; the car was gone. Aunt Shelly didn't worry about it since it was obvious that Anna had welcomed him into our house.

At my request, Shelly showed me the picture. It was Larry's car! There was no doubt about it. I could see the FAA stickers on his rear window. The picture was dated. It was not the day that the genetic site had identified as the day of conception.

I breathed a sigh of relief until I realized that the picture was taken on the Saturday of my first trip to the Academy. I had finished the first week of training and was getting ready for the second week. I was alone and lonely. It appears that Anna was neither of those things.

It got worse when my aunt said, "Then there was a second time. It was the same car, but this time after he stopped in the driveway for a while, the garage door went up and he drove in. I took a picture but I was too late. The garage door had already closed. I didn't get his license plate number."

When I recovered from the shock, I asked her if she had kept the picture. She thumbed through her pictures for a while. Finally, she handed her phone to me. It showed my closed garage door. There was no hint of a car. I looked at the date of the picture. I recognized the date! It was the one stipulated by the genetic site. It was Anna's date of conception! Coincidentally, it was the Wednesday of my "second chance" training at the Academy.

So right then, I knew two things: Larry had screwed Anna while I was away and she had his child nine months later. In the process, Anna had screwed me.

CH 3

I planned each charted course

Each careful step along the byway

My mind was aching as I got up from the swing. My Aunt Shelly passed away a week before David was born. Her house looked the same, but I knew that nothing was the same. It was time to stop reminiscing and finish what I needed to do.

I left the swing and walked back into the house. I looked around one last time. I could barely see through my tears. This had been a happy place for many years. Not anymore.

I dropped a copy of the lab report that Larry Jones gave me along with the note that he wrote into an envelope. I added the DNA report that I had obtained which confirmed Larry's report. It stated in no uncertain terms that the evidence was incontrovertible; I was not, I am not, David's father. His biological father is Larry Jones.

I added another envelope containing the divorce papers that my attorney had prepared. Those papers cited 'Adultery and Deception' as the grounds for the dissolution of our marriage.

One might wonder why I waited nearly twenty years to divorce Anna. Well, all of those years ago when I found out about Anna's betrayal, I became mentally paralyzed. I had no idea of what I should do. How could I continue to stay with my cheating wife after something like that? I was a ship without a rudder. I was helpless and hopeless. I was a wreck.