I Cant Believe What I Have Done

I can't believe it. I really can't believe it. My wife, Christine, has just told me that she has been unfaithful to me after 36 years of marriage.

I am trying to work out how I feel about it. On the one hand, I had always fantasised about her going with another man but I had always worried in the back of my mind that it might affect our marriage -- something I treasure. I love her deeply.

But I guess that was the other side of the story - I had never been able to make her cum with my cock in her pussy. I have tried reading everything I could, to try new techniques, new positions, more and different foreplay but to no avail. She can orgasm two or three times when I go down on her and lick her pussy and she says she loves it. But shouldn't every woman experience an orgasm from a man's cock and come together like all the stories seem to, in a massive simultaneous climax?

I had thought I was of average size and had even started looking at other men's cocks in the shower at the gym. I have measured it -- it is 6.5 inches long but not too fat. I saw a lot that were shorter than mine- but most seemed fatter. I began to think perhaps I was not big enough to give her an orgasm with my dick.

My wife always said that she can't orgasm that way and that not every woman can, in fact she said, some women can't orgasm at all.

Deep down I thought it was my fault and had even suggested several times that perhaps she should try someone with a bigger cock than me. But she was so much against it every time I mentioned it that I stopped raising it and concentrated on trying to find ways to make her come. I tried the coital alignment technique but that didn't work. I tried holding off coming but that didn't work as she just got sore or I got so tired I lost my erection. I tried the psychological approach -- loads of love and affection, creating the right atmosphere with candles and aromatherapy. But nothing worked. She said it didn't matter as she loved coming on my tongue and loved the closeness when I was in her.

I am 65 and my wife is 57 -- so no spring chicken but we have sex twice a week and I still find her very sexy even though she shows some of the signs of having three children and is a little overweight. She still has great tits, a bikini waxed pussy and a round bum to die for. However, she is still a little prudish and reserved and sexually unadventurous. In fact I don't think she likes losing control so is a little afraid of giving into her feelings. It took some time before I could lick her pussy and even though I have asked many times she will not have a full pussy wax -- my absolute dream. She says she is a' private' person and does not want other women seeing her exposed. In the early days she took some persuading to give me a blow job and even now she is not exactly enthusiastic.

I went so far as to buy a penis extension which added 2 inches in length and half an inch in thickness but she wouldn't let me use it.

We've talked about it but she was adamant she couldn't come with my cock inside her and that she is happy with two or three orgasms from oral sex.

But my dream was for her to come that way and I wondered if I couldn't do it, should I get someone else with a big cock to satisfy her. But, if it worked...would she be happy to go back to life with me or would our life together change adversely -- something I really wouldn't like. But like many men, I had this strange fantasy of seeing her with another man, and if I could combine this with seeing her come, and I was involved perhaps it would be a shared experience.

Christine's story

I have a friend Jenny, who had never married although she had plenty of men friends and a very active sex life. She was never very graphic and didn't give away too much but one day when we were talking about her latest, I was astonished to hear her say that she had never had an orgasm from vaginal penetration. I hesitated to admit the same as I didn't want to embarrass John but she continued her story -- she had never had a man with a big cock and she wondered if that was the reason why she had never come that way

She questioned whether her pussy was too big but as she had never had children that was most unlikely. She could come with oral and with her rabbit but never with a man's cock. She was obviously questioning whether something was wrong with her...so I told her I was the same -- I just felt she should not think she was abnormal or different to everyone else. She was astonished. I said I wasn't complaining about it as I enjoyed three or four orgasms every week and loved the feeling.

She actually suggested we did something about it but I wasn't really interested -- I was happy enough and whilst I enjoy my sex life it is not the most important thing in my life.

She called me a few weeks later and suggested we meet for lunch. As soon as I saw her I could see a big difference in her -- her eyes sparkled and she looked so alive. "Well," I said, "what happened to you -- have you met the man of your dreams?"

"Yes and no," she said. "I met a man on a dating web site and after a couple of weeks we managed to meet up. I had seen a photo of him but still wasn't too sure what he would be like. We met up and the short story is that we had sex and he made me cum time and time again -- he was huge, bigger than anyone I had ever had before. Now I know that size does matter. I felt so full. I can't tell you how different it felt. I came again and again and finally on the third time he came with me. I feel different and just knowing I can come like that has made me feel so good. In fact, believe it or not ever since that time, I have been able to come with my ex who had never made me come before with his cock inside me. Maybe it has just taken away the nagging doubt."

When I left her, I had all sorts of thoughts. Could I come with a bigger cock? Would I feel the same thing, would it be the same? But they were fleeting thoughts. The last thing I could imagine was being unfaithful to John.

I met up with her again a couple of weeks later and I asked how it was all going. She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It was just sex -- he obviously is not into any long term relationship but I will keep in touch with him and I suppose he will just be a friend, maybe someone to have sex with from time to time."

We were just finishing our lunch when a guy came to the table and said hello to Jenny -- she introduced him to me and said they had met via the internet so I guessed this was the man she had been talking about. They were friendly with each other but not exactly close so I knew that what she had said about being friends was true.

After a short while, Jenny said she was very sorry but she had to leave as she had an appointment and left me talking to him. His name was Robin and as she had said he was very pleasant - witty, funny and enjoyable to be with. I saw he was carrying a book by Jo Nesbo _ I had read one of his but didn't recognise the title of his one. "He has written 4 or 5," he said. "This is the third in the series". I said that I had read one but hadn't realised they were a series.

"I can lend you the second book," he said, "and you can have this one when I have finished it."

"Thanks," I said, "that would be great -- it will save some money."

He suggested a drink but as Jenny and I had polished off a bottle of wine over lunch I said no.

"Just a small one before you go," he said.

I was in no rush and he was good company so I said, "OK."

He spoke to the waiter who brought 2 limoncellos -- rather large ones I thought. He must have known it was one of my favourites.

After a half hour or so he asked me if I wanted the book and suggested we drop by his apartment, just round the corner. Without thinking, I agreed. I felt comfortable in his company with no nagging doubts.

At his flat, he gave me the book and told me to make myself comfortable whilst he made some coffee. His apartment was on the 9th floor and overlooked the River Thames -- I went to the large picture window to look out - it was a wonderful view with boats scurrying up and down and from that height it was possible to see the bends in the river.

He came up behind me and I heard him put the tray down and stand behind me. " It's a great view isn't it?" he said.

"Yes," I replied. "It seems so unreal from up here."

He put his hand on my upper arm and led me to the balcony door. He opened it and we went out and I leaned on the balcony railings admiring the view. He stood behind me again but this time he put his arms around my waist loosely, it didn't seem invasive, just warm, friendly and, perhaps, just a little proprietorial -- it was his balcony after all and he started pointing out the various landmarks, St Paul's, Tower Bridge, Canary Wharf.

I relaxed and unconsciously leaned back against him. Suddenly, I realised I felt something hard in my back. I pulled away slightly but then remembered what Jenny had said about his huge cock. Could that be his cock I mused? Could it be that big I thought? I questioned whether I should be there. Fleeting doubts whirled around in my mind. I am a married woman with a loving husband, should I put myself in this situation. But then, I reasoned, he hadn't made a move on me and we had enjoyed a pleasant afternoon and I did not feel at all threatened.

But equally, I did start to wonder to myself.... just how big was his cock? Would I be able to orgasm like Jenny, would I be able to handle it -- not really the questions I should be asking myself if I shouldn't be there, but the thoughts were there, none the less.

I leaned back again just a little. It was still there and just as hard as before. I felt sure I felt him push a little harder against me. He's making a move on me I thought, slightly flattered, but wondering how to react. I didn't for one minute think I would respond but it was exciting that it was happening. The questions kept coming back to me. Also I thought, perhaps trying to give myself an excuse, a let out, my husband often said he wanted me to try a big cock but I had never ever considered it.

He unwound his hands from my waist and put his hands on my upper arms, lightly brushing the front of my breasts as he did so. I had not imagined this I knew, but it could have meant nothing at all and by this time my mind was in turmoil. He pulled me toward him and I felt him nuzzle my neck softly.

As he did so, he whispered in my ear, "I can spend hours out here just watching the greatest city in the world."

Somehow this put me back at ease. I felt relaxed. Then I felt his hands move up my body stroking my stomach under my breasts. It all seemed so normal but my mind was beginning to whirl. It was a long time since I had felt like this. My skin was beginning to tingle. And then it happened again but this time I felt him stroke the underside of my breasts and ease me back toward him. There was no mistake about it this time. I could feel my nipples harden slightly just at the thought of another touch.

This was agonising. Was he making a serious play or just being over friendly. I told myself that nothing really had happened. I wasn't sure how to react. But then I felt his hands move up to cover my breasts and knew I was getting aroused. I could feel my breathing was getting shallow and I felt flushed. My nipples were now aching for a touch and I could feel my pussy getting a little moist. Then I felt his hard erection at my back again.

I knew I should go now, immediately, before it went any further but as I felt his cock behind me again, I started to wonder again 'How big is it? How much bigger than my husband's could it be?' As these thoughts tumbled through my mind, his hands touched my nipples and gently stroked them through my jumper. By now they were rock hard and they were tingling with a need to be touched much more forcibly. I admit I had never felt so aroused by simple touches.

I tried to tell myself that I was 57 years old and a happily married woman and this shouldn't be happening. I resolved to put an end to it and leave when he leaned forward and kissed my neck and started to massage my breasts firmly, stroking over and under my nipples. Then his fingers stroked the nipples and I could feel him tweaking and gently twisting them. It was intoxicating and all my resolve went out of the window. Without realising it, I leaned back into him and his hands slid under my blouse and started to massage my tummy and moved up to my breasts. I definitely knew I was aroused now. Why hadn't I stopped him? I knew I should but I felt wonderful, naughty, and so much out of character. Maybe it was the drink but I didn't want it to stop just then. I would stop it a little later.

I felt his hands slide under my jumper and blouse to touch my bra. I had never thought my breasts were sensitive but now they were on fire. His hands moved to the back of my bra looking for the catch.

"It's in the front," I said and suddenly realised what I had said.

I had given him my answer --encouraging him to go further. I felt his fingers fumble with the catch and then away it fell leaving my breasts open to him. I felt his bare hands on my bare breasts and as he firmly stroked my nipples I felt them bursting. Sex with my husband is enjoyable but this was different - naughty, forbidden, intoxicating. I was breathing quickly now and when he kissed my neck again, I turned towards him and we kissed. Not in a raging eat each other kiss but a soft, gentle caring kiss and as I felt our tongues touch I knew I would struggle to stop now. If the truth was known, I didn't want to stop. The guilty feeling just seemed to make it feel even more forbidden and added to my arousal.

His hands lifted my jumper and pulled it over my head. He threw it to one side and went to the front of my blouse and he undid the buttons one by one slowly, looking me straight in the eyes. He undid it but didn't take it off, just leaving it undone as his hands went to my waistband and he loosened my belt and undid the buttons and gently lowered the zip on my jeans. It was all done so slowly and purposefully as if he was daring me to say 'no'. I knew I should but I just didn't want to.

His hands went to my bum and he pulled me to him -- if his cock had felt big from behind it now felt huge and very hard. He edged my jeans over my hips and they fell to the floor. Without thinking, I stepped out of them and found myself standing there in just my panties with my blouse loose and the bra undone with my breasts and nipples showing.

He pulled me to him and I could feel his huge cock pressing against my pussy as he gently moved from side to side. I know he was teasing me but it was working. The crotch of my panties were now soaking wet. I was getting very aroused and I could feel my pussy lips swelling as he rubbed against me.

I was in a trance but he took my hands and placed them on his chest to the buttons on his shirt. I started to undo the buttons and his shirt fell open to reveal his chest. He took my hands and placed them on his belt. I unfastened his belt, undid the button underneath and gently moved his zip downwards. As I did this, I could feel his cock straining against his underpants. I wanted to look but I daren't, it felt so enormous.

His jeans fell to the floor and he pulled me towards him. I could feel his cock through my flimsy panties as he rubbed himself against me. I could feel my panties getting even wetter as he rubbed against me and I found myself pushing against him. I moaned as I surrendered to him. He reached up and slid my blouse off my shoulders and removed my bra sending shivers through me, not of cold but of wanton anticipation.

I have never been the one to make the first move when making love but now I felt the urge to see him. I reached out and slipped my hands into the waist of his pants and pulled them down and gently over the huge bulge in front of him. His pants fell to the floor and I reached down to feel his cock. It felt so big -- I could not get my hand round it and my two hands could not begin to cover its length.

At the same time his hands went to the front of my panties and he started to rub me softly. I felt on fire. I ached for him to touch me harder. I felt him stroke the middle of my panties and his finger pushed between my swollen lips. I was so moist I could feel my panties were wet through. I was sure that as he stroked the outside of my panties he could feel it too and as he pushed them to one side, I felt him stroke my pussy lips. I pushed against him trying to rub my pussy against him and moaned softly. He pulled me to him and finally he pulled my panties down to leave me fully exposed to him.

He turned me round and stood behind me. His hands went to my breasts. His fingers were wet from my pussy juice and he used it to rub my nipples. His hands went down to my pussy and he massaged up and down each side of my pussy lips and rubbed his huge cock against my bum. I could feel myself getting wetter than I had ever experienced before even when I was much younger and was just a little embarrassed to feel my wetness running down the inside of my thighs. His hands went to my pussy again and he gathered all the wetness and rubbed it over my pussy lips. He stroked the inside of my thighs which I had subconsciously opened for him giving him clear access to my aching pussy.

He led me to the bedroom where he pulled me down to him so that my breasts hung towards his face. He licked the nipples and lightly nipped at the area round them. I felt his hand go to my pussy, no rough movement just a gentle stroking. I could feel my wetness and could hear the slicking of his fingers on my pussy. By now I was breathing heavily and moaning each time his fingers stroked my lips. He slowly slid one finger into me. It felt wonderful as he kissed me with his tongue searching for mine. I felt his finger working the inside of my pussy gently but insistently. I loved it and felt myself pushing hard against him. As one finger worked me inside, his thumb was rubbing my swollen clit. He slid two other fingers to that sensitive area between my pussy and my bum. It felt smooth, slick and so wonderful. I seemed to be flowing juices everywhere as they ran down my pussy and I could feel him rubbing them over my private hole -- a place that no one other than my husband had ever touched before. He rubbed my wetness all over me and I felt myself melting inside.

I could feel his finger stroking the soft pad just inside my pussy and I sensed myself slowly building to an orgasm. This felt like nothing I had experienced before. This was sensual, wanton, naughty and very different. I had a fleeting guilty feeling. I should not be here. I should not be doing this but it felt so good and for the first time in my life I felt I was doing this for my own pleasure. I had never come from just a finger but as his lips sucked hungrily on my nipples and his hand rubbed my pussy lips with his finger inside me I could feel my orgasm building.

I couldn't help myself from grinding my pussy into his hand. I moaned softly at first but then loudly and more urgently and impatiently as I came in a rush, a wet gushing rush that I had never felt before. I pulled him to me and crushed his head into my breasts as I gripped my legs round his hand, locking his hand on my pussy.

As my breathing eased, I felt him loosen himself from my grip and slide down my body licking me everywhere as he went until he reached the smooth waxed area above my pussy. He licked me in smooth sweeping strokes down the side of my pussy, teasing me. I felt myself expecting more and then I felt his tongue caressing my pussy lips and lightly flicking over my clit. Oh, that felt so good. I was no longer embarrassed at being so wet. I felt myself gushing and I felt his tongue gliding over my clit, stroking it, sucking it and then I felt his finger slide over my wet anus gently stroking the outside and then, just a little inside. No one had touched me there like this. His finger resumed its stroking inside my pussy. I was on fire as my clit was bursting. I could feel it swelling and I could feel another orgasm building in me. As he stroked and sucked me I felt it come - a tsunami of wonderful warmth spreading from deep inside my pussy. I put my hands to the back of his head and pulled him into my pussy.