I Can't Believe What I Have Done

He looked at me after I had uttered those fateful words. I had just told my husband that I had spent the afternoon fucking another man.

His face was a mixture of shock and disbelief and something which I rarely saw in him -- anger.

"Tell me all about it," he said, "and don't leave anything out." And I did. I told him everything about meeting Jenny and then Robin, ending up in his flat and how one thing had led to another.

"How long were you there?" he asked.

"All afternoon," I said

"Was it just the two of you?" he asked.

"Yes, of course. Who else did you think was there?" I said.

"Did he come in you?" he asked.

"Yes, twice" I replied .

"Twice?" he said. "Did he wear a condom?" he asked.

"No," I said.

"Didn't you think of the risk, that you might catch something?" he asked.

"No," I said, "It didn't cross my mind. It just happened. I don't know exactly how, but maybe it was the drink. After Jenny had told me about his huge cock I was curious and one thing led to another."

He turned away and I could see he was upset.

"So you just walk in here and tell me you have been fucking another man all afternoon. How am I supposed to react to that? Say, oh good. Did you have a nice time? That's all OK then."

His voice was cold and angry as he spat those words at me.

"No, "I whispered, "I am so sorry, I could never imagine ever being unfaithful to you. I would never want to hurt you

"How do you feel now?" he asked.

"Very ashamed and sorry," I said. "I have been unfaithful to you, something that I never thought I could or would ever do. I am worried that I may have jeopardised our relationship and marriage which I treasure. But most of all, I feel I have hurt you which I would never want to do and that upsets me most"

"Was the sex good?" he asked.

I couldn't lie. "Yes," I said, "It was." I didn't want to hurt him but it must have been obvious that I had enjoyed it otherwise I would never have stayed so long. Also, I had come 6 times -- something I had never done with him. I rarely have more than two orgasms with him and he had certainly never even tried to come more than once. But, in truth, I had never really wanted to or shown any desire for it. I had always been satisfied with what I had had.

"So how do you feel now?" he said pointing to my pussy.

"Honestly?" I asked.

"Yes," he said

"Sore, swollen, used and throbbing," I said

"Show me," he said

"Oh John. Please don't make me feel any worse than I do," I said.

"Show me," he said with a hardness to his voice.

Reluctantly and ashamedly, I stood up, took off my jeans and panties.

"Lay on the bed and open your legs," he said

I did as he asked. "Wider," he said.

I opened my legs, wishing I could hide my face as the tears were beginning to run down my cheeks.

"I see what you mean," he said. "There is cum oozing from your cunt and the lips are swollen."

I have never heard John use that word 'cunt' other than when he was in an angry mood so I began to feel nervous. What was he going to do?

He made to approach me and I could tell by the look on his face that he intended to touch me.

"No, please," I said, " I don't want to refuse you, but I feel sore, ashamed and dirty."

"Go and shower," he said. "Clean yourself up."

I got up and went to the bathroom. I showered and scrubbed myself to get rid of the dried cum and juices. I used the hand shower to wash myself clean of Robin's semen inside me. I patted myself dry, put on my dressing gown and went into the bedroom where John was waiting, naked and sporting a huge erection.

My heart sank. It seemed as though John had every intention of taking me.

Although I felt like I deserved some punishment, I didn't feel I could cope with penetrative sex now. I was so sore and I knew it would be painful.

"Get on the bed and open your legs," he said

I did as I was told but I could not stop the tears running down my face. I lay there and as he came near me, I turned my head away, sobbing quietly.

I felt him reach across to the drawer beside the bed and saw him take out the lube. The next thing I felt was a cold sensation on my pussy as he slapped a huge wad of lube on me. It was a surprise and I gasped but it did feel very soothing. As he did so, my dressing gown fell open at the top and my bruised and marked breasts were there for him to see.

"My God," he said, "what has he done to them?"

*** *** ***

My voice was choking with anger. I had never done anything like that to her. Her breasts were black and blue with love bites all around the nipples and I swear I could see his finger marks on her breast where he had mauled at her. She had obviously had some rough sex and as she had stayed there all afternoon she had clearly enjoyed it. I felt angry that here was a side of my wife I had never seen before.

I reached down and lifted her legs high into the air so her red swollen cunt was exposed. I had always been gentle and considerate in our love making but these bruises and marks on her breasts told me she preferred it hard and nasty. And that was exactly what she was going to get.

I lined my cock up at her swollen lips and rammed myself into her. The lube helped as I felt my cock part her lips and enter her sore and throbbing cunt. I heard her gasp and whimper -- it obviously did hurt, well it was going to get worse. I pulled out and rammed back in again until I was buried as deep as I could go. I might not have as big a cock as the other guy but she was going to feel it.

I rammed home time and time again, pushing her legs over her shoulders as far back as I could. I reached down and twisted on her nipples until she cried out. I leaned down and fastened my lips on her nipples and sucked as hard as I could. She screamed in pain. I let go and reached down and grabbed a breast in each hand and roughly manhandled them twisting and turning them as I continued to thrust in to her. As I pounded into her I kneaded and pulled at her breasts.

"So you like it hard and rough do you?" I shouted.

My cock felt hard, in fact it had never felt so hard. I looked down, her nipples were hard and big -- bigger than I had ever seen them. I continued thrusting at her, time and time again and as I rammed into her, I could hear her breathing change and her gasps of pain became little moans. But this wasn't for her pleasure, this was for me.

My anger drove me and I pounded into her. I felt rock hard and as though I could keep hammering away for ever. I reached behind her and grasped the cheeks of her arse. Gripping tightly, I pulled her cheeks apart and stretched her bum hole with every thrust.

She didn't feel loose or big, perhaps the swollen lips made up for it. I rammed away and finally, I could feel myself getting near to coming and thrust even harder and faster. As I shot into her, I came in buckets deep inside her.

I looked down at her, there were tears running down her cheeks. I pulled out and I could see cum running down her red swollen cunt -- not for the first time that day I knew.

I threw her legs to one side, got off the bed, walked out and slammed the door. Whoever's she had been earlier in the day, she was mine again now. I had reclaimed her in the way I had wanted to.

After a few drinks down the local, I began to feel some remorse about what I had done.

I had never in 35 years hurt my wife physically or emotionally, not knowingly anyway and now I started to mull over what I had done.

The thought of her having sex with another man made me feel a jealousy, I had never ever imagined. The thought of her 'giving' herself to him, opening her legs and wanting him to fuck her tore me apart.

And the fact that he had fucked her so much better than I ever had and had made her climax on his cock filled me with a sense of foreboding -- how could I match that, I thought.

I had never come more than once in one session but she had never expected it or given any sign that that was what she wanted. She always seemed happy to finish after I had ejaculated once.

The thing that really inflamed me though was the marks and bruises all over her breasts. He had evidently been more than a little rough with her and she had clearly enjoyed it. I wondered how she had signalled this to him. Had she asked him to hurt her or had he started a little roughly and she had shown her pleasure. She had always seemed to have a low pain threshold that I had never considered being so forceful with her. How far would he have gone, how else might he have hurt her?

Whilst my thought ranged to and fro, I also thought of the risks she had taken, going to a stranger's apartment, the possibility of catching STD's, what if he had secretly filmed her -would she now appear on Redtube or be plastered all over the internet?

After a while, I calmed down a little and began to think more rationally. I still loved her.

She had been totally honest with me and I did not feel she was keeping anything from me -- very important as I don't think I could have handled the nagging doubts that there was more to this encounter than she had described.

It was not as if she had been having an affair with an emotional attachment to another man and had hidden it from me. This seemed to be pure sex and whilst I was surprised, I suppose that if I had had the opportunity to spend the afternoon having sex with a young gorgeous woman, I would probably have succumbed.

Despite my earlier anger and jealousy, I knew I loved her. We were friends, soul mates, and our relationship meant we shared more than just sex. I couldn't bear the thought that our actions -- firstly hers and now mine might put this in jeopardy.

By this time I had sunk a few beers and feeling pretty low, decided to go home. I went into the guest room as it was quiet in the house and I didn't want to face her just now. After much tossing and turning, I dropped off to sleep but not before I had vowed to make sure I did my best to make it up. We both had things to apologise for.

*** *** ***

I heard the front door slam and after he had gone, I waited a while to make sure.

Whilst I was upset that he had fucked me so violently and my pussy hurt more than ever, I reasoned that I could expect little else after the news I had given him and wondered what lay ahead.

I showered again and went downstairs where I poured myself a drink and sat to contemplate what I had done. Had I fatally jeopardised our marriage? How far would he take it? How could I make it up to him? There are many who would say I deserve everything he wanted to throw at me but deep down although I knew I had done wrong, I did not feel that would be totally fair.

Many times he had urged me to find someone with a big dick and it had always been me that had refused. Perhaps it was just that I had done this without any reference to him and without involving him. I could not see the difference. I would still have ended up having sex with another man. In his view, I guess he saw it as 'giving his permission.'

But, I knew that something in me had changed. The combination of everything that had happened, having 6 orgasms consecutively, having a climax with a cock inside me and, most of all, having a simultaneous climax as we thrust and moaned together had severed some chains that I could not identify. I felt free to let myself go.

Why hadn't I found this out long ago. I began to regret having been so restrained in the past. Could I have experienced this sexual 'frisson' earlier in my life?

Although I was just a little over weight, I felt I still looked good, in fact much younger than my age. I had even been told I look at least 10 years younger. I weigh 130 pounds and stand 5'7 tall. I go to classes at the gym 3 times a week and play reasonable tennis regularly.

I began to think about all the things I had been too shy or embarrassed to do, things that, in truth, John had suggested.

He had often wanted me to go topless on the beach. I know I had great breasts when I was younger, large and very firm. They are still pretty good now even if I say so myself. They are not quite as pert as they used to be, but I was still a 36 C cup that did not suffer too much from gravity.

I thought of the times John had asked me to go without a bra when we went out and I was too prissy to do so. He even spent quite a lot of money on a quarter cup bra that I had never worn outside the house because I had not wanted my nipples to show under my clothes.

He had often asked me to go out without panties for a giggle, a bit of fun and to excite him but I hadn't ever done so.

I had agreed to a bikini wax and this had pleased him enormously but I had never had the inclination to go the whole hog and be totally bare there. Although I know this is something he would really like, I didn't fancy the idea of another woman seeing my private parts totally naked

Could I have been a little more adventurous in the bedroom? I only rarely gave him a blowjob and I know I am not too good at it. Perhaps I should have made the effort to do better and I had never ever considered letting him cum in my mouth.

Perhaps we could have played with some bondage or spanking. I had always poured cold water on his ideas. It had never even crossed my mind to initiate anything new.

And, of course, the final taboo - anal sex. John had often tried to talk me into trying it but I had never ever agreed. One more thing I had automatically said 'no' to. It just seemed all wrong.

But then, as my fingers traced a light stroking of my thigh, I thought about Robin's huge cock. I had enjoyed it so much and although I was so sore now, I would not have missed that afternoon for anything. As I thought back, the feeling of him stretching my pussy and pounding into me and cumming inside me was so real. I could feel it over and over again.

I had responded in a way I never had with John. I had felt so aroused that it had just carried me away and I had responded naturally like a bitch in heat.

Could I live the rest of my life without knowing that feeling again? How was I going to resolve this?

By the time it came to go to bed, John still was not home. I waited up a little longer but in the end, I gave up and went to bed although I couldn't sleep.

I heard him come in near to midnight but did not let him know I had heard him. He did not come to our bed but went into the guest room. My troubled thoughts returned.

I was awake the next morning when he came into our bedroom. He looked at me and I could see he was troubled.

"We need to talk," he said.

"Yes," I said, "we do. I am so sorry about yesterday, I feel so bad that I don't know how to make it up to you."

"I feel bad too," he said. "I should not have treated you that way last night no matter how upset I was. I have never hurt you knowingly before but I was so angry when I saw the bruises and bites on your breasts that I just lost it."

He got into the bed and cradled me in his arms as we both wept. We stayed there for some while not moving.

"We need to put this behind us," he said. "We can't pretend it didn't happen but we can accept that it did and live with it. But, I don't know how I could live knowing that it might happen again so I need reassurance from you, a firm commitment that it will not happen again."

"It won't," I said, "I promise you."

Strangely, for the next few days we seemed to be closer than ever although I was still so sore after John's ravishing that we did not have sex. I was still mulling over how my attitudes had changed and wanted to try and find a way to prove it.

I suddenly had an idea. I was due for a waxing the following week so I phoned the salon and asked to bring it forward to the next day. I would have a complete waxing, everything, just like John had always wanted.

Boy, it did hurt as she stripped me bare right round to my bum but I came home and couldn't wait to get the mirror out to check it. I looked just like the girls in the men's mags. I felt sexy, I felt great and I couldn't wait to surprise him. As I ran my fingers over the freshly waxed skin it felt so smooth and with a little oil, I rubbed down the sides and over the lips. It felt fabulous and I wondered yet again why I had never done it before. I guess I was too concerned about the pain.

I had another idea. I went on to the internet and Googled 'how to give a great blow job' just to see what I could pick up. There were plenty of tips but it seemed I would need to practice. I read as much as I could before John got home.

I couldn't wait for him to get home. I had cooked his favourite meal and suggested an early night. He looked at me quizzically and saw the smile on my face. He raced me up the stairs. An early night starts with a shower and I made sure to keep my freshly waxed pussy hidden from him. I came to bed wearing the quarter cup bra he had bought me and some small lacy panties. I guess we had a lot to make up and it wasn't long before his hand slipped down into my panties. As his fingers traced down the side of my pussy, he threw back the covers and ripped my panties down and looked at me. He slid down my body licking me as he went until he reached my beautiful smooth pussy. He licked down both sides, over and round it.

"It is beautiful," he said and thrust his head back into me. John is fantastic at licking me down there and it took little time for me to feel that wonderful feeling as he sucked and licked my clit. I came in a loud orgasm as I moaned in time with his delving tongue and I felt my juices flowing down onto my bum. His fingers rubbed the juices into my tight hole and over the cheeks of my bum. I came again as he thrust a finger between the lips of my vagina and stroked me inside whilst licking my clit and dipping his finger in and out of my tight backside. He does this so well.

My pussy felt so sexy, smooth and slippery as he slid his tongue over it. This felt so good and again I wondered why I had been so reluctant to go totally bare before. My perineum, that sensitive spot between my two holes was also so silky smooth and I felt him lift my legs up to my chest and slide down to lick it. In doing so, his tongue slipped onto my puckered hole and for the first time in my life I felt a tongue round that forbidden place. It felt great and I felt myself arch my back to push myself into him. His tongue slipped a little way inside and I felt a warm tingling feeling that was totally new.

I wondered quickly how it would feel with his cock there. As I came again on his tongue I realised I had cum three times already and we had not yet got past the foreplay. He rolled me over and lay over my back rubbing his cock against the crack in my cheeks. I could feel his hard cock rubbing over my anus and wondered if he was going to try and take me there. I hoped not as I was not prepared for this.

He lifted me up and positioned himself at my pussy and gently pushed in. The doggy position has not usually been very comfortable for me but now his cock just slid into me with no discomfort at all. I could feel him driving into me as his hand reached round and started to stroke my clit. He had not done this before and I wondered why as it felt so good but then remembered that we rarely used this position as it used to hurt. I could feel his thrusting cock get faster and just when I wondered if I might come if he kept this up, I felt his cock twitching inside me and he shot his load into me.

I was disappointed that we had not managed to come together but I realised that if he had been able to last longer, I could have come with him. A positive step forward I thought to myself. And all because I had a fully waxed pussy!!

He pulled out and went to get up but I pulled him down to me and kissed him hard. I reached down and took hold of his cock, it was softening and was wet with my juices and his come leaking from it. I slid down the bed and took it in my mouth. His cum tasted salty but not unpleasant and I could smell my own juices on him. I licked him clean and and started sucking his cock gently.