I showered again and went downstairs where I poured myself a drink and sat to contemplate what I had done. Had I fatally jeopardised our marriage? How far would he take it? How could I make it up to him? There are many who would say I deserve everything he wanted to throw at me but deep down although I knew I had done wrong, I did not feel that would be totally fair.
Many times he had urged me to find someone with a big dick and it had always been me that had refused. Perhaps it was just that I had done this without any reference to him and without involving him. I could not see the difference. I would still have ended up having sex with another man. In his view, I guess he saw it as 'giving his permission.'
But, I knew that something in me had changed. The combination of everything that had happened, having 6 orgasms consecutively, having a climax with a cock inside me and, most of all, having a simultaneous climax as we thrust and moaned together had severed some chains that I could not identify. I felt free to let myself go.
Why hadn't I found this out long ago. I began to regret having been so restrained in the past. Could I have experienced this sexual 'frisson' earlier in my life?
Although I was just a little over weight, I felt I still looked good, in fact much younger than my age. I had even been told I look at least 10 years younger. I weigh 130 pounds and stand 5'7 tall. I go to classes at the gym 3 times a week and play reasonable tennis regularly.
I began to think about all the things I had been too shy or embarrassed to do, things that, in truth, John had suggested.
He had often wanted me to go topless on the beach. I know I had great breasts when I was younger, large and very firm. They are still pretty good now even if I say so myself. They are not quite as pert as they used to be, but I was still a 36 C cup that did not suffer too much from gravity.
I thought of the times John had asked me to go without a bra when we went out and I was too prissy to do so. He even spent quite a lot of money on a quarter cup bra that I had never worn outside the house because I had not wanted my nipples to show under my clothes.
He had often asked me to go out without panties for a giggle, a bit of fun and to excite him but I hadn't ever done so.
I had agreed to a bikini wax and this had pleased him enormously but I had never had the inclination to go the whole hog and be totally bare there. Although I know this is something he would really like, I didn't fancy the idea of another woman seeing my private parts totally naked
Could I have been a little more adventurous in the bedroom? I only rarely gave him a blowjob and I know I am not too good at it. Perhaps I should have made the effort to do better and I had never ever considered letting him cum in my mouth.
Perhaps we could have played with some bondage or spanking. I had always poured cold water on his ideas. It had never even crossed my mind to initiate anything new.
And, of course, the final taboo - anal sex. John had often tried to talk me into trying it but I had never ever agreed. One more thing I had automatically said 'no' to. It just seemed all wrong.
But then, as my fingers traced a light stroking of my thigh, I thought about Robin's huge cock. I had enjoyed it so much and although I was so sore now, I would not have missed that afternoon for anything. As I thought back, the feeling of him stretching my pussy and pounding into me and cumming inside me was so real. I could feel it over and over again.
I had responded in a way I never had with John. I had felt so aroused that it had just carried me away and I had responded naturally like a bitch in heat.
Could I live the rest of my life without knowing that feeling again? How was I going to resolve this?
By the time it came to go to bed, John still was not home. I waited up a little longer but in the end, I gave up and went to bed although I couldn't sleep.
I heard him come in near to midnight but did not let him know I had heard him. He did not come to our bed but went into the guest room. My troubled thoughts returned.
I was awake the next morning when he came into our bedroom. He looked at me and I could see he was troubled.
"We need to talk," he said.
"Yes," I said, "we do. I am so sorry about yesterday, I feel so bad that I don't know how to make it up to you."
"I feel bad too," he said. "I should not have treated you that way last night no matter how upset I was. I have never hurt you knowingly before but I was so angry when I saw the bruises and bites on your breasts that I just lost it."
He got into the bed and cradled me in his arms as we both wept. We stayed there for some while not moving.
"We need to put this behind us," he said. "We can't pretend it didn't happen but we can accept that it did and live with it. But, I don't know how I could live knowing that it might happen again so I need reassurance from you, a firm commitment that it will not happen again."
"It won't," I said, "I promise you."
Strangely, for the next few days we seemed to be closer than ever although I was still so sore after John's ravishing that we did not have sex. I was still mulling over how my attitudes had changed and wanted to try and find a way to prove it.
I suddenly had an idea. I was due for a waxing the following week so I phoned the salon and asked to bring it forward to the next day. I would have a complete waxing, everything, just like John had always wanted.
Boy, it did hurt as she stripped me bare right round to my bum but I came home and couldn't wait to get the mirror out to check it. I looked just like the girls in the men's mags. I felt sexy, I felt great and I couldn't wait to surprise him. As I ran my fingers over the freshly waxed skin it felt so smooth and with a little oil, I rubbed down the sides and over the lips. It felt fabulous and I wondered yet again why I had never done it before. I guess I was too concerned about the pain.
I had another idea. I went on to the internet and Googled 'how to give a great blow job' just to see what I could pick up. There were plenty of tips but it seemed I would need to practice. I read as much as I could before John got home.
I couldn't wait for him to get home. I had cooked his favourite meal and suggested an early night. He looked at me quizzically and saw the smile on my face. He raced me up the stairs. An early night starts with a shower and I made sure to keep my freshly waxed pussy hidden from him. I came to bed wearing the quarter cup bra he had bought me and some small lacy panties. I guess we had a lot to make up and it wasn't long before his hand slipped down into my panties. As his fingers traced down the side of my pussy, he threw back the covers and ripped my panties down and looked at me. He slid down my body licking me as he went until he reached my beautiful smooth pussy. He licked down both sides, over and round it.
"It is beautiful," he said and thrust his head back into me. John is fantastic at licking me down there and it took little time for me to feel that wonderful feeling as he sucked and licked my clit. I came in a loud orgasm as I moaned in time with his delving tongue and I felt my juices flowing down onto my bum. His fingers rubbed the juices into my tight hole and over the cheeks of my bum. I came again as he thrust a finger between the lips of my vagina and stroked me inside whilst licking my clit and dipping his finger in and out of my tight backside. He does this so well.
My pussy felt so sexy, smooth and slippery as he slid his tongue over it. This felt so good and again I wondered why I had been so reluctant to go totally bare before. My perineum, that sensitive spot between my two holes was also so silky smooth and I felt him lift my legs up to my chest and slide down to lick it. In doing so, his tongue slipped onto my puckered hole and for the first time in my life I felt a tongue round that forbidden place. It felt great and I felt myself arch my back to push myself into him. His tongue slipped a little way inside and I felt a warm tingling feeling that was totally new.
I wondered quickly how it would feel with his cock there. As I came again on his tongue I realised I had cum three times already and we had not yet got past the foreplay. He rolled me over and lay over my back rubbing his cock against the crack in my cheeks. I could feel his hard cock rubbing over my anus and wondered if he was going to try and take me there. I hoped not as I was not prepared for this.
He lifted me up and positioned himself at my pussy and gently pushed in. The doggy position has not usually been very comfortable for me but now his cock just slid into me with no discomfort at all. I could feel him driving into me as his hand reached round and started to stroke my clit. He had not done this before and I wondered why as it felt so good but then remembered that we rarely used this position as it used to hurt. I could feel his thrusting cock get faster and just when I wondered if I might come if he kept this up, I felt his cock twitching inside me and he shot his load into me.
I was disappointed that we had not managed to come together but I realised that if he had been able to last longer, I could have come with him. A positive step forward I thought to myself. And all because I had a fully waxed pussy!!
He pulled out and went to get up but I pulled him down to me and kissed him hard. I reached down and took hold of his cock, it was softening and was wet with my juices and his come leaking from it. I slid down the bed and took it in my mouth. His cum tasted salty but not unpleasant and I could smell my own juices on him. I licked him clean and and started sucking his cock gently.