Hypocrite or Cucold

This is not a telling of real events. It is a work of fiction inspired by the "Cuckold Diet" by razorlyt© and "Something We Have to Talk About" by nici©. It is a story of a man grappling with the conflicting emotions caused by his wife's open infidelity, his masochistic and dominant self, his pride and basic need for fairness.

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Prime Characters:

Steve: A middle manager in corporate America who recently celebrated his 54rd birthday. Happily married to Cindy for 24 years and father of 2 children. In his earlier days Steve had sowed his wild oats taking advantage of all the sexual freedoms created by the age of free love. He married Cindy just before he turned 30.

Cindy: An educator of young minds with 3 different degrees. A fun loving young lady who matured along with her career into the role of housewife and mother. Though not a virgin when she met Steve you did not need a full hand to count all her lovers.

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Opening my eyes, I glanced at the alarm clock and noted 10:30 a.m. glowing on the clock. Smiling softly, I pulled one of the softer pillows over my head and re-closed my eyes. Laying there in the pillow induced darkness; I thought how much I enjoyed sleeping late on a Saturday morning. It had been a hard week filled with long days that stretched into late nights. But that was work and this was my time, to sleep, relax, watch TV and to be with my Cindy.

Thinking of her I could see the 130lb, 5'8" curvy girl with shoulder length brunette hair that flowed with every step she took. She had a sharply oval face and a slight chin that became so much more when she smiled. When we had first met she had definitely smiled. Back then she had been a very happy girl with breasts that were firm, proud and hard not to stare at. She was also blessed with a tight, round ass that made you want to, dam... I've got wood. Suddenly, I realized that it had been a long time since I had made love to my wife. In the early days it seemed like we made love all of the time but as the years rolled by the frequency and intensity of our play seemed to fall away, even faster than our youth.

With a grin, I now knew today's goal; seduce my wife back into this bed so I could fuck her silly. My cock twitched in agreement and the image in my mind was of Cindy kneeling in front of me, sucking on my cock looking at me, just like she used to do before we got married. She was always hungry then, and could never get enough, but then again neither could I. As I absently began to stroke myself the image shifted to our first anniversary. That was the night she casually told me over dinner that she was looking forward to getting ass fucked and if I didn't take her home and pop her cherry she might have to find someone that was interested. That night, she slowly took off her clothes and climbed into our bed. She spent a long time teasing me with her lips, her hands, her hot breath and the caress of her nipples. Then without a word, she got off the bed and dropped to her knees. As I watched she leaned forward and her head disappeared. After a long second, I shifted position and saw her hands stretched out with her weight resting on her forearms; she was watching me with a smile as she pressed the right side of her face against the floor. Doing this caused her back to form the most beautiful upward moving curve, ending at her ass. As soon as my eyes focused on that firm ass, I heard tell me, it's all yours just like my heart, please be gentle with it. That was one of the best sexual moments of my life. It wasn't because of getting some anal pleasure it was because of how she offered it how she gave all of herself to me that night. God it was good. Bang.... Everything melted away with the sound of a door closing and with a sigh it was time to get up as reality was calling.

Taking my morning piss I felt a little sorry that I hadn't been able to finish that little dream, especially since I haven't been in her ass or even near her asshole since that one night. Afterwards, she never told me no, but then again when it came to sex, she never actually said the word "no" to me. But the fact was all of her actions from that point on made it evident, that she didn't like my dick her butt and it would forever be off limits to me. If I went to kiss it she would immediately roll away. If I tried to tease her with a finger I found her hand intertwined with mine. As time passed and she continued to turn her ass away from a softly probing finger or tongue it became more of a mood killer than a pleasure and eventually I just stopped trying. She always told me that she enjoyed that one time immensely and I had been very gentle, but the fact is she never allowed me there again.

After showering, the rest of the day consisted of cutting the lawn and cleaning the pool. However I was able make sure that Cindy and I would have the house all to ourselves tonight. Katy asked to spend the night at her friend Kiley's house and of course I agreed, but only if she didn't tell her mom. Bret agreed to stay a friend's house providing I paid for a movie and some burgers after.

By 4 o'clock my chores were complete I started preparing for the night. First I made 7:30 reservations at our favorite restaurant. Then I took my second long shower of the day, taking care to shave extra close just in case she asked me to eat her pussy. God I used to love eating pussy. As my dick stiffened I couldn't help but chuckle into the empty room, "I guess I still do." The smile quickly faded as I remembered that Cindy was the only woman I had ever been with that didn't really enjoy being licked by a man. At the best of times she would allow it for a minute or two and then pull me upwards saying she needed dick in her now. At the worst she would lay there for a while and when she had enough tell me if I was enjoying it to go on, but it wasn't doing anything for her. Turning off the water, I realized that my hardness had evaporated with the steam.

The princess of tonight's fairy tale finally returned from her day long shopping expedition at 5:50 with only a single Nordstrom's bag. As she headed to the bedroom with her solitary bag I followed her with two glasses of her favorite red wine. When she saw the glasses she gave one of those smiles that always made her beautiful and asked what the occasion was. I told her, "It's a surprise, but we are going out and you need to get showered and dressed for a night out with your husband. It's way over due." Her initial reaction was delayed, I think she was surprised, but when she smiled again and said softly "Yes, it has been a long time, hasn't it?" I knew she was getting excited. So when she asked me what to wear. I told her, "Something dressy, something sexy and definitely not in that order." She smiled, but for the first time I could remember, it didn't make her look beautiful. Before I could react, she rushed me out of the bedroom telling me she'd had to be left alone if we're going to be there on time.

She exited our bedroom just before 7:00 and she had dressed just as I had asked. Her thick hair flowed just like it did on the first day we met. With every step she took it moved in soft waves to accent her face and skin. She wore a deep brown sleeveless dress that looped around her neck and was cut out to show a large portion of her 36C tits. The dress ended 6" above her knees and the tan stockings she wore accented her legs. To top it off she was walking on 4" stilettos which were a slightly lighter shade of brown. Tonight she was wearing a pale frosty shade of lipstick and because she seldom wore any, I knew she was going to tease me all night long. Taking her all in, I whistled softly.

The 20 minute drive to the restaurant was filled with gentle touches and inconsequential talk. After a brief wait for our table the ritual of dining began and as it continued so did our flirting. She made sure that my eyes were only for her as every gentle caress of her fingers on the back of my hand, my arm, my thigh brought my eyes, my heart and lust back to her.

When the waiter finally came to ask us if we would like an after dinner drink, I was a little surprised when Cindy said yes and ordered cognacs for each of us. She knows that I love a good brandy after a fine meal, but they are expensive and considering the day long build up, I was really more interested in getting her home and taking off that dress. As the waiter left, I looked at her and she smiled saying "Don't worry I've decided to go home with you tonight. " The cognacs arrived and we locked into a long deep gaze as we brought the glasses to our lips. Looking at her, inhaling the alcohol vapors I could feel her sexual need and mine answered. I couldn't wait to get home.

After the first sip, she broke our mutual stare and said, "Steve, before we go home and you have your way with me, there is something I want to tell you. I had planned to do it at home with a couple of glasses of wine, but (looking around and taking another sip), this will do just fine." I don't think it was the words, maybe the way she said them. Whatever the cause, I now felt on edge something told me this was important. As a result, my soft "okay" sounded tentative even to me. I took another sip, leaned towards her and said "I'm listening."

"Steve, remember how you have always tried to convince me that sex was just sex and that sex did not ever equate to love?" I nodded and replied, "Yes, I do and you always told me though you doubted that to be true even for a man, but for a woman it was definitely not true. You told me that you could never have sex if you weren't emotionally involved and committed to the person sharing your bed." "Yes that is what I have told you every time we discussed this issue. I thought you should know that you were right and I was wrong?" I was right? I was right? What does that mean? Winning this debate after all of these years should have caused a spontaneous smile to appear on my face, but it didn't. "Cindy are you going to tell me what caused you see the light?" She took another sip and said, "I will, but you have to promise not to say a word, not a single word until I have finished speaking. No matter you have to promise me that." I was no longer on edge; I was close to outright panic. "I promise." "Seriously Steve, you won't say a word until I've finished." I know my voice came out a bit flat "I promise."

Once again, she was the focus of my world now. She could not have surprised me more if she had crawled under the table and given me blow job in front of everyone. I was certain I knew what was coming but I was like a deer in a truck's headlights. She took another looked around, seeing at all the people enjoying their Saturday night meal, gave a little shrug and then turned her eyes back to me. She looked like she was trying to see inside my head. Then she started talking in a soft voice...

"I know this will be difficult for you to hear but for the last 2-months I have been having sex with another man. I want you to know that although I do enjoy this man's company and the things we do together, I do not love him. You are the love of my life. Both of us know that we have no long term future together nor do we desire that. My future is with you and our family. Steve, I still want and plan to grow old with you." She stopped and just looked at me. I don't know what she saw, but at that moment there was no me. There was pain in my head and my stomach, my vision narrowed to only her lips, I couldn't hear.

"Steve.. Steve... are you listening to me ... Steve." I saw her reach for me, then stop and picked up a spoon which she gently tapped on the water glass. With the clear note reached my ears everything started to work again. I could actually hear and see things again. "Steve are you okay?" I looked at her and it seemed like some else speaking when I heard myself say "Go on!"

She hesitated for the briefest moment and resumed, "Steve darling, from personal experience I know this is hard, but I am telling you the truth I do love you and I do want to grow old with you if you will have me?" She stopped again.

Realizing it was now my turn, I took a deep breath in preparation of sharing my feelings when her phrase stopped me. "Cindy what do you mean by "personal experience""? Hearing this her eyes narrowed and there was no hint of a smile nor did her voice hold any warmth. "What did I mean when I refereed to my personal experience? What did I mean?" She then leaned over the table towards me and softly said "What I mean my husband, is that I remember exactly how I felt when you were forced to confess to your affair. The night that crazy bitch showed up knocking on our door screaming she was pregnant with your baby. You do remember that don't' you? You do remember how you cried and begged me stay with you? God I was hurting so bad that I would have shot you if I had a gun handy. Yes, I remember how I felt and that is why I know how you are feeling. It took me a long time to get over that hurt and just as long to truly trust you again. But I had committed my life to you and our family, so I stayed and we worked through it all." For a brief moment she looked at me out of the corner of her eye, then, "He told me I shouldn't tell you, that doing so was cruel, but I don't like lying to you and you have told me ever since we first met that you did not believe that sex was love. Because you have never shown yourself to be a hypocrite, I decided to be honest. I don't want to lie to you my love, it has been the one thing that I have truly despised about my personal exploration the only thing I regret."

As she continued talking I listened without comment or outburst because all I felt was numb and because everything she had said was true. I did have an affair. Over a decade ago I had a 3-week affair with a woman that turned out to a real life Fatal Attraction. My memory did match hers, as I had cried at the idea of losing her and I had begged her to forgive me and stay. And not a day has gone by that I haven't been thankful that she did. At least not until today.

I realized I was holding my breath and consciously resumed the methodical inhale and exhalation we take for granted. I looked at my wife of 24 years through watery eyes and told her "Yes, I believe that you do know how I am feeling and yes I really meant it when I told you sex did not equal love. But it hurts so much worse than I had imagined. I am sorry I ever made you feel like this." Her smile was very soft but her eyes sparkled as she put her hand on top of mine. I continued, "Since it is over and you have been honest with me, I will try to be as strong as you were and together we will past this. Baby, you are the only one I have ever wanted to grow old with." Her reaction was a surprise.

She slowly withdrew her hand from mine and I swear it looked like she pulled herself inward. "Steve I am sorry. I am just really fucking this all up.." A quick glance and a soft sigh, "My exploration isn't over yet. I have learned so much about my needs and desires and in such a short time. But am just starting myself discovery, I can't stop now. We both realize that this will not last long but neither of us wants it to end now. I do not want it to end now. I can't. I have to finish my journey Steve, please understand. I love you, but this is something I have to do. Have to do."

I blinked at her, when my eyes opened there was no watery filter. I saw the reality in front of me. My wife... My wife was sitting there not only admitting she had an affair but telling me that it was going to continue until she was ready to end it. She was.. my God.. She actually wants me to say it's okay. I'll fucking kill her. Before I could match action to thought I was stopped by memories of waking up in the dark, hearing someone banging on our front door fearing a home invasion. Then hearing a woman screaming for the entire world to hear, screaming the she was bearing my child. At that moment I realized I would do nothing now, I would swallow this pain as my penance for that night. I owed her that much. So looking at the white linen table cloth I managed to whisper "and how do you see this working out?"

Looking at me I could tell she was trying to determine if I was being serious. Whatever she saw, she decided to answer as if it was a genuine question. "Look Steve, for the last 2-months you have had no idea I was spending time with any else. I've been home when you were home, dinners were always ready and I was always in bed waiting for you when you did finally crawled into bed. During this time did I ever deny you anything you wanted, in bed or out of it? No I didn't and I won't. If you work with me on keeping our marriage together, support me as I continue to explore my needs, I promise you won't feel deprived. I will be yours to use anyway you want any time. Steve if you want a blow job just ask and I'll even swallow. I promise. Steve do you still want my ass? Then just tell me and I'll lube it up and spread my cheeks so you can take me as hard and as often as you want. I am not lying to you Steve, I promise I will deny you nothing you ask for. Nothing. All I ask in return is that you let me continue my explorations. I will continue to be discreet neither the kids nor any one we know will ever find out. If they do, I swear I will end it that very day. Please baby, I love you with all my heart, but I need this too. It's become an obsession.. I have to take it to where it leads. Please."

I could feel her sincerity and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. Seeing them, I wondered, why?.

"Steve, you don't have to make a decision tonight. I know you are hurting.. hurting really bad. I remember what that was like. Let's go home and you can give me your answer after you have had time to think about it." I nodded like a child and left the table. I didn't even bother to pay the bill. After covering for me, Cindy caught up to me at the car and after ushering me into the passenger seat got behind the wheel.

Entering our home, I started to regain my bearings. I entered the bedroom and immediately turned away from the bed and its clean soft sheets. I shrugged off my clothes and pulled on my winter pajamas. Heading towards the bed, I turned to see Cindy's dress hit the floor. As she bent to pick it up I noticed that the gold lace belt she was wearing matched her panties. As I looked my eye were drawn to a very large circle of darkness. I realized she was dripping so much her panties were literally soaking. Now my anger started to rise once again, the bitch had just confessed to having a lover and she was wet. Did she think I was going to tell her it was all okay. She could fuck him all she wanted as long as she would allow me an occasional fuck? I wanted to put my foot up her ass so bad, but instead I grabbed a pillow and a blanket off the bed and headed to the guest room. No way was I sleeping next to that cunt tonight.

Eventually I did fall asleep. As the sun shone and my conscious self came alive so too did the realization that this would indeed the beginning of the rest of my life.

I heard Cindy in the kitchen so I returned to the Master Suite and took another long hot shower. When I felt strong enough, steady enough I dressed and went to the kitchen table. As I exited he bedroom, Cindy started serving breakfast. Halfway through the stack of pancakes laid before me, I asked "Who is this other man in your life?". Obviously she had been waiting for this question because her reply was quick and seemed well rehearsed. "I won't ever tell you. What I will say is that he is no one you, our friends or our children know. He is college educated, is financially secure and lives close enough to visit but far enough way that there is little likelihood of ever just bumping into him. No, I won't ever tell you who he is. But I know that you have lot of questions or you will have. So I will tell you now. Steve I love you and do not ever want to lie to you again. So if you ask me a question about what I've done or am planning to do or how I feel about it I promise I will answer you truthfully." My lame reply was "Really you'll answer any question?". Wincing a bit at my tone she answered, " Yes Steve I will, but my love, before you ask, be sure you really want to know the answer. I remember as if it was yesterday, when I had so many questions I wanted you to answer. But I didn't ask them, because you made it clear that you would not answer them. You wouldn't answer them because, you said it was all over and unimportant but mostly you wouldn't answer because you didn't want to hurt me anymore. Well Steve, I don't want to hurt you any more either, but I will answer if you ask me. I will never volunteer or make reference to these things, but I will answer any question. So please dear one, please be sure you want the answer. Don't ask if you just want to feel more pain. I'll answer but I am afraid it will destroy us if you do."