"Get in!" my wife demanded through the passenger door window.
I climbed in and shut the door behind me. She started driving off before I even had a chance to fasten the seatbelt. Completely unlike her. She normally drove steadily and safely, but looking up from my seat belt clasp, I felt she was driving a bit quicker than I was comfortable with. She hadn't even asked me how my day had been, which was just as well, seeing as I'd had the fuck of my life with the girl of my dreams, and fifteen minutes later, came in her mother's mouth.
I decided to think of something else in case I started saying these things out loud.
"Where are we going?" I asked flatly, trying but failing to put some expression in my voice.
"Oh," she smiled confidently, "I've got a surprise for you!"
Shit! Had she found out what I'd been up to all week? I stayed quiet apart from a casual, "Oh."
The rest of the journey went in silence, partly because I didn't want to give anything away, but mostly because I wanted her to be able to concentrate fully on the road. She was still driving like we were attending some kind of emergency and my eyes were peeled, waiting for us to crash.
Half an hour later and it was dark. She slowed down now as we reached about five miles out of town, on a road that cut through a forest. Then she started indicating and pulled into a dirt track. About a hundred yards down, we came to an empty car park and she pulled into the far corner. Next, she killed the lights and switched off the engine.
"Get out." she demanded, as she opened the driver's door, swiping it shut behind her. I did as I was told and by the time I shut the passenger door, she'd hastened round the front of the car and stopped in front of me. She looked at me seriously for a split second, then half smiled and dropped to her knees.
"Oh Jesus," I thought, "if she finally wants to spice up our sex life, she's chosen exactly the wrong evening to start."