How's It Gonna Be?

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Based on some of the feedback from my previous submissions, I have included the wife's perspective here. I am not sure if I succeeded and frankly it went against the grain a little.

I hope it is well received and invite any and all constructive criticism.

I ignore criticism from anonymous posters unless it's positive. Author's prerogative.

This story contains no sex, no cuckolds and is not a BTB story. If you're looking for any of that please look elsewhere and don't complain that you didn't find it here.

There are many ways to deal with the shit life throws at you. This is merely one of those options.

TCct

*****

I wonder how it's going to be

When you don't know me

How's it going to be

When you're sure I'm not there

How's it going to be

When there's no one there to talk to

Between you and me

Cause I don't care

How's it going to be, How's it going to be

Third Eye Blind

Chris looked up from his work at the flickering lights of his workshop; a signal to him that someone was headed down his half-mile long gravel driveway. He looked back down and finished the weld he'd been making, lifted the face of his helmet and looked at the progress of his latest creation. Chris had time and he was in no hurry to greet his 'visitor'. He checked the video feed to see who they were. A light colored Lexus sedan. How did they get past the gate? He'd have to review the tape later and deal with that. Of course an electric gate is like any other lock; it will only serve to keep and honest man honest.

Still...

He pulled off his heavy gloves, grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off his face and sauntered over to his bench to light a cigarette. As he took a long drag he watched the Lexus pull around the last curve over the south end of his pond and swing left onto the fork leading to the house. He perched the cigarette between his lips, turned off his equipment and grabbed the Beretta 92FS 9mm from his bench. As he exited his workshop he chambered a round and headed quietly across the lawn toward his visitor who was busy ringing the doorbell to the house.

He stood behind the Lexus regarding her.

He had never expected, hoped, to see her again. Ah well, he was well and truly past it now.

She couldn't hurt him anymore.

"Hello, Callie. What do you want?"

She spun around so quickly she stumbled just a bit catching her heel in a gap between the porch boards and fell awkwardly on her ass. Chris chuckled to himself but outwardly showed no sign he was amused...or concerned.

He waited.

"Ah, hi Chris I..."

He waited patiently.

"I, well, wow it's good to see you...I"

He turned and headed back to his shop, pitching his cigarette butt at her Lexus.

Callie hurried after him looking on in horror as his lit cigarette just missed her open passenger window.

He heard her enter his shop as he walked over to his bench, sat down and lit another cigarette.

"What the fuck do you want, Callie?"

#####

Chris purchased this 1200 acre piece of East Texas heaven six years ago. In point of fact, he purchased 50 acres six years ago and had been fortunate enough to be in a position to purchase larger, adjoining tracts over the years until he had accumulated his now impressive 1200 acre private retreat. He didn't need 1200 acres but it guaranteed a comfortable distance from his nearest neighbors. He had no interest in working the land and so had hired a manager to run the day-to-day operations of most of the property. Juan dealt with approximately 1100 acres raising about 400 head of cattle and all the shit that went with that. In exchange Chris split any ranch proceeds (and costs) 30/70 with Juan (Juan retained the 70%) and let him built a house for his family to live in on an opposite end of the property. They had lived in a single-wide Chris purchased for them for the first year.

It was a match made in heaven.

Juan had steady, honest work making good money to raise a family and Chris had his privacy and built-in family of friends whenever he felt the need for company. Juan and his family respected Chris's desire for solitude, though without really understanding it and a comfortable bond and mutual dependence blossomed.

Juan fiercely defended Chris's privacy to the point that Chris might go weeks without seeing or hearing from anyone but Juan and his family. Chris always welcomed visits from Juan's boy Carlos, a precocious 5 year old of pure energy - and his mother, Maria. They often dropped by with a meal for him and stayed to visit while he ate. Maria, as Juan loved to say was 'warm in winter and shady in summer'. A big but beautiful and kind hearted woman, Maria loved her family without reservation.

Juan and Chris met weekly to go over anything related to the property, shoot pool and drink; beer for Juan and scotch for Chris.

Chris had never had better friends.

They had met when Chris was looking for day laborers to help him to doze and burn a twenty acre plot north of his pond - he wanted to expand his pond from 6 acres to 26 acres. He had driven to a run-down hotel on Main Street where men gathered to wait for any work that might be had for a day.

Chris had hired 6 guys that first day who all worked harder than anyone he'd ever seen and none more so than the young Juan. The pond expansion took three months and the one constant worker was Juan. Over those few months a sort of friendship slowly developed between the two of them. When Chris found out that Juan and Maria were living in that horrible hotel he approached them about hiring on as his property managers and the rest as they say is history.

###

Callie regarded Chris sitting there with a cigarette burning between the first two fingers on his left hand. He was in great shape and looked better than ever with his longer curly hair and a well-trimmed beard.

It had been so long since she'd seen him; 7 years, 8 months 3 days.

She was mad as hell at him; she loved and missed him terribly. Of course it took her 2 years to realize that she still loved him and missed him in her life; 'good riddance' was her first thought but not her final thought on the subject of her estranged husband.

She kicked her toe into the floor absent-mindedly. God, had she really thought his leaving had been a good thing? After the first two years, when she finally realized that she still loved him and her cold heart began to warm and ache, she had considered trying to find him but couldn't quite bring herself to expend the money and effort; after all hadn't he simply vanished without another word to her?

She played the piteous victim for years; 'the poor dear, her husband just up and disappeared one day' and eventually she felt like she had a right to know where he went.

"That's a new habit, Chris." She said pointing to the cigarette.

Chris regarded her with a cold stare and said nothing.

"I...uhm, well I had a long time to prepare for this, uh meeting but I find myself at a loss at the moment."

Chris exhaled smoke through his nostrils, flicked some ashes on the floor and crossed his arms.

"You look great, Chris..."

"And you look like chewed twine! What the fuck do you want, Callie?"

###

Chris didn't like it but her standing there caused his mind to split momentarily; one large portion was curious and ruminated on why she was standing in his shop and another part was reliving everything else. They had married young; Chris was 21 and Callie was 23 but waited 6 years before having kids. They had originally wanted 2 but God had other ideas and they accepted the fact that Katie would be their only child. They struggled through lean years as careers were developed and focused on the care and upbringing of their daughter.

It wasn't a bad marriage. It was a typical marriage. The demands of career and family left little time to nurture their relationship but they did try when they were able. And while Chris knew things could have been better he wasn't in the least prepared to discover how bad things had really become.

Then Callie decided it was time to talk - 7 years, 8 months 3 days ago - and she hadn't seen or heard from him since.

Chris didn't go to work that day- he didn't resign - he just never went back.

He took $300,000 dollars from their combined assets and disappeared. His BMW was retrieved a month later 3 counties south of their home parked in a park-n-ride lot.

He wasn't hiding and he wasn't running, not really. He had just had enough and when the last straw came he simply decided to split their assets 30/70 in Callie's favor and start anew.

###

"Well, I had thought that after all this time, you might owe me an explanation!" She snapped at him.

She couldn't believe his attitude. This tough as a nickel-steak defiance just had her perplexed.

He should be...?

What she thought?

What did I expect from him?

Surprise yes, contrition, hopefully but anger and disdain, nope that had never occurred to her.

"I don't owe you shit, Callie. We did all of our talking years ago and I wasn't interested, remember?"

"I know things were rocky but they weren't that bad, Chris and certainly that is no excuse for abandoning your family!"

He cocked an eyebrow at her and stubbed his cigarette out in an ashtray.

"Look, I don't have the time or inclination to talk to you. Why don't you send me a letter telling me all about how I let you down and mail it to me? I might even open and read it someday."

As Callie glared at Chris the lights of the shop flickered distracting her momentarily. Chris looked over at the video feed and noticed Juan's F250 ambling toward the shop.

"For the record, I didn't abandon my family, I abandoned a bad wife. Katie and I still enjoy a great relationship. As a matter of fact she was here not a month ago for a week."

Just as Juan was pulling up Chris strode toward Callie and gently grabbed her left elbow. He spun her around and started escorting her toward her car amidst her stunned protests.

"Hey, Chris. I saw the gate broke open and thought I would come down and check on you. Everything ok?"

"Hey ya Juan. Yeah, everything is good. My ex-wife here just dropped by to buy me a new gate and say hello."

"WIFE!" spat Callie "we're not divorced!"

That surprised Chris. He thought for sure that she'd have filed by now. True, he'd never seen or signed any paperwork but he assumed that she could divorce him without that. What did he know he'd never been divorced. She had said that she didn't want a divorce so maybe it was true.

"Look Chris, we got off on the wrong foot. Can't you just give me a little of your time? I want to talk... I need to talk with you."

Chris was considering his gate. Maybe, best case scenario the motor is busted and I can easily replace that; worst case? Broken motor, sheared or bent bolt and sprocket...no problem, just time and money and Chris had plenty of both.

He noticed Callie barking at him. He regarded her for a moment; why was she still here and why is she barking at him? Never mind, one thing at a time.

"Did you have a look at the gate, Juan? Does it look like anything is broke?"

"I looked, Chris. The motor is spinning - I think we have a bent bolt is all. I can fix it for you this afternoon."

Chris nodded and looked again at Callie who looked apoplectic.

####

Their last conversation 7 years prior hadn't gone any better.

"No."

"What do you mean, 'no'? You haven't even heard me out yet."

"I mean, no plain and simple. That will never happen. Not while we're still married."

"Couldn't you at least listen to what I have to say, Chris?"

"Okay, Callie on one condition."

"And that is?"

"That after you've had your say this discussion is over."

"I don't think we'll be able to resolve this in a single conversation, Chris. Why are you being so unreasonable?"

"I'm not being unreasonable, Callie. My position has always been the same and it isn't going to change now."

"How can we fix this if you refuse to even consider new things, Chris? That's all this is...something new to try."

"What exactly do you think is broken, Callie?"

"Us, we're broken. Well, at least our sex life is. Come on, Chris you can't possibly be satisfied. We've been married for 24 years, together 27. We need to spice things up if we expect to make it another 25 years."

"Well, I concede part of that to you, Callie. I would have liked to spice things up but you know there is a difference between using just any old spice and ensuring things are properly seasoned. And for the record, yes, I have been satisfied. I take it you can't same the same."

"Haven't you ever even thought about it?"

"Sure, I have. Who hasn't? It's a great fantasy but that's all it should ever be."

"That's an archaic way to look at it, Chris. It's almost main stream now. Lots and lots of couples are heading in this direction. It's an open, honest and modern approach to marriage and I think an excellent way for us to maintain our relationship in the future."

"So you propose what exactly, Callie -an open marriage, where we fuck other people separately or swinging where we fuck other people together? Or did you want to make me one of those sick submissive cuckold husband's; you know you fuck guys in front of me, in our bed while you both hurl insults at me and make me clean up after you? Perhaps you just have too much love to give and want a poly relationship you bring in a second husband so I can listen to you two fuck while I do the dishes? Is that what you want, Callie?"

"I'm not certain what I want -maybe swinging, maybe an open marriage. I'm not trying to be a bitch. I love you and I want to make things better not worse."

"How is your fucking other men going to make anything better?"

"You mean, OUR having sex with other people. I expect you to be a participant."

"Okay, let's say for arguments sake that my fucking other women doesn't somehow piss you off and derail our marriage. What about ME makes you think, even for a moment, that you're being a slut for other guys won't kill any love I have left for you?"

"Being in an open marriage or swingers does not make a person a slut. I'll admit that I don't relish the idea of you sleeping with other women but I can't expect to sleep with other men without you sleeping with other women."

"Ah, so now we have hit the nail on the head, haven't we, Callie? This isn't about us, it's about you."

"That's not fair, Chris. I'm just saying that I think expanding our horizons will be good for us."

"That's not what you're saying at all, Callie. You just stated that you didn't like the idea of me fucking other women but since you definitely want to fuck other men you are willing to be fair about it. How then does our marriage improve if we're both doing something the other doesn't like?"

"We have to grow and change, Chris and I for one am willing. I recognize that I have some growing to do as well and I will. I want you to work with me to make our sex life more fulfilling for both of us. Is your male ego so fragile that you can't even consider this, that you're willing to risk the health of our marriage?"

"I am willing to explore adding spice but I have a line I will not, cannot cross? Is our sex life so unfulfilling that you would risk our marriage by doing this, Callie?"

"Damn it, Chris you're not being fair."

"How am I not being fair? I have stated my position clearly. I will not fuck other women while we are married and I will not stay married to you if you fuck other men. That is as plain and fair as I can make it."

"So that's it? You decide how our marriage will be moving forward and I have no say in it? I thought you were a stronger man than that, Chris."

"No, we decided TOGETHER how our marriage was going to be 24 years ago and now you want to renegotiate the terms. Let me ask you, Callie. What is it specifically about me that you don't find attractive anymore? Why do you need to fuck someone else so badly that you have risked our marriage by broaching the subject?"

"I have not done anything to put our marriage at risk and I still find you very attractive, Chris. I just think a little variety would make us appreciate what we have in each other."

"Oh but you have, Callie. You have told me that you find sex with me unfulfilling and that you want to fuck other men and since you're a fair minded person you'll look the other way if I decide to fuck other women. Just saying those things has put our marriage in danger. I am far less attracted to you now than I was 20 minutes ago and not at all certain that our marriage has any future."

"That's a horrible thing to say, Chris! You're twisting my words and making more of this than you ought to."

"Alright, Callie. Can I ask you a few questions...just yes or no answers, no embellishments, no arguments?"

"Chris, I love you and I want to be married to you but every marriage, even the best marriages need to keep things fresh. We have to put in an effort!"

"Callie, are you unhappy?"

"No but I want more from our relationship!"

"How the hell do you get more from our relationship by having another relationship...oh Fuck-it! Never mind! God-dammit, Callie!"

"What? Just because I'm honest and want to try something different you get pissed? Grow up, Chris! God you can be such a little boy!"

"You aren't satisfied by having sex with me and want to fuck other men. I hear you, Callie...loud and clear!"

"Chris, you aren't listening. EVERY marriage gets stale. Just because I think a little variety is in order doesn't mean I am not satisfied with you when we make love. I'll just appreciate it more if I have something else to compare it to."

"I have already said no Callie. What will you do now?"

"Chris, we need this!"

"No, Callie WE don't. Perhaps YOU do but WE certainly do not. I'll ask again, what will you do now?"

"I don't know, Chris. I love you but this...we have to change."

"Or?"

"Please, don't push me, Chris. I thought you'd at least agree to discuss this."

"Callie, we did discuss it. My answer is no. It will always be no. The question now is can YOU move past this and can we save our marriage? Is there no other way for you to feel fulfilled? For us to have a future? I'm not even sure I want one anymore. I mean, I'll never feel like your satisfied and who wants to go through life knowing they don't turn on their spouse?"

"Chris you have always satisfied me..."

"Just not enough that you wouldn't want to fuck someone else though. I get it Callie, I really do. You're not always a completely satisfying sex partner either you know and I often look at other women and wonder what it would be like to sleep with them. The difference is that I know that we can't always bring our A game and so when you do fall short in the bedroom, I don't hold it against you and decide that the only way to fix it is to fuck someone else. And I don't pretend that my fucking Debbie-Double-D will miraculously make sex with you any better and I know it certainly won't make me feel any closer to you. It will make me feel closer to Debbie though, that's a fact. And that's what you're asking me to do, Callie. You're asking for my permission to destroy our marriage."

They stared at one another for several minutes, each lost in their own thoughts until Chris suddenly sat bolt upright.

"Have you already fucked him?"

"What? Who? What are you talking about, Chris?"

"Callie, I know you. You already have someone lined up. So have you fucked him yet?"

"Don't be stupid, Chris. I just thought you'd be interested in trying to make our marriage better. I'm sorry I thought you were a better man than you are!"

"There is no need to insult me any more than you already have! I know you have someone you want to fuck otherwise you wouldn't be pressing me so hard so quickly. Remember I have been arguing with you for 27 years now. Why don't you try an honest approach for a change, you know try being a better person! Well? Have you spread your legs for him yet?"