* * * Gerri continues * * *
On Friday as we walked to Sharon's house I was thinking how nice it was to have Mark in reserve when Sam was out of sorts. Once Sharon and the kids left, I went in to Sharon's bedroom and made myself ready for Mark. While I was getting ready another one of the guilt/remorse waves rolled over me. I wondered why I was making myself up for Mark when I never did it for my own husband anymore.
I had barely entered Mark's room and was enjoying a deep throat passionate kiss when Sharon burst in.
She said, "Oh God Gerri, Sam's on his way over here right now to make some sort of an adjustment. He called the house and your cell before he called my cell. Do you know that your cell phone is off?"
I screamed back at her, "I don't care about the damned cell phone. What did you say about Sam?"
She told me again and added that we needed to get out of here and get to the park. I dashed into Sharon's room to change. I told Mark that he would have to take a rain check. I was ready to rush out when Sharon reminded me of the make-up. I dashed back into the bathroom and cleaned my face.
We both hurried to the park and the kids were delighted to see me. We had just gotten to the park when Sam called Sharon to tell her he wasn't going to make it right now; he had an emergency call to take.
He asked to speak to me and he told me the same thing and that my cell phone was off. I told him that Sharon had informed me and that when I got to my purse I would turn it on.
As I was about to hang up, he asked me why I was out of breath? My mind raced for a minute. He knew I wasn't there when he called a little while ago. What had Sharon told him, if anything? Hoping that she hadn't told him anything or that he wouldn't remember, I told him that we had left the drinks in the refrigerator and that I had hurried back to get them.
He said, "Ok, see you latter and hung up," after telling me about my cell phone again. Still no 'I love you' or any other endearing comment. What had I done to bring this on? I was relieved, horny, and pissed. My stomach was in turmoil. This was twice now that my affair could have been exposed. I must put an end to it soon; this is just too gut wrenching. Maybe tonight I would be able to arouse Sam and relieve some of my tension.
As I closed the phone and handed it back to Sharon, she told me she couldn't help but overhear and that she had told Sam that I was in the restroom. Why has everything recently just gone to hell? I pondered the situation and decided not to say anything unless Sam brought it up when he came home. Maybe he wouldn't connect the differences. If he did I would simply tell him I went to the restroom before going back for the drinks; that Sharon just hadn't seen me leave. I then took a minute to get the story straight with Sharon.
I went to my purse and got my cell phone out. As I prepared to turn it on, I found it was already on. He must have misdialed. No, he has my cell phone number on speed dial both on his cell and on his work phone. Why did he think my cell was off?
Sam dropped a bomb shell on me when he came home. As usual he played with the kids as he came in and again he seemed to have a serious talk with them before he came in to the kitchen. I almost fainted when I found out the conversation was about my missing lunch on Fridays. When he asked me what it was all about, I had to think for a moment before I told him Fridays were the times I usually ran my errands. He seemed to accept the answer and told me I needed to let the children know what I was doing.
I breathed a sigh of relief and then caught my breath. Why was nothing said about Mondays? Did the children just not mention it, or was Sam only telling me part of the story? Was he on to my affair? After pondering the event for a while I decided the kids just hadn't mentioned Mondays. I talked to the kids later, and sure enough, today, being Friday; they hadn't been thinking about Monday and had only talked about Fridays.
Sam certainly didn't seem upset, as he would have been if he had known; yet he still wasn't acting like his normal self. With no positive answer I decided that the evidence did not indicate Sam was aware of anything. I also knew that I had better fix this little flaw. On Monday I would ask Mark if we couldn't meet on random days, not just Mondays and/or Fridays. No, I wouldn't wait until Monday. I would call Mark sometime tomorrow when Sam wasn't around.
While I thought I had been betrayed by comments from the children, I realized that I had actually been shown a flaw in my operation that needed correcting. And, of course, I needed to get serious about ending the affair. The problem was that I didn't know how and I really didn't want to give it up. The kid's remarks could set Sam sniffing around. And still, I was hosting very uneasy feelings.
Something was wrong. Sam had always confided in me in the past, yet now he was holding something back. When I quizzed him about the cell phone, he simply responded that he must have hit the wrong button. The way he answered sounded a little smug, as though he was expecting me to ask and he had the answer ready. Is he playing with me? Am I becoming paranoid? All of a sudden my extremely gratifying affair was starting to become an ordeal.
When I went to bed, I went to sleep totally frustrated. I didn't know what to do about ending my affair. I was beginning to wonder if Sam somehow had suspicions about my activities. And, worse yet, Sam had begged off sex as being too tired. I was horny as hell. I wanted to jump on Sam and rape him.
On Saturday while Sam took the kids to get ice cream, I called Mark and told him what had happened. I let him know that unless we could change our pattern, we were going to have to end our relationship. I also told him I would like to continue but I was not going to jeopardize my marriage. Mark was happy with the random schedule idea and suggested that for the time being perhaps we should limit ourselves to once a week. We settled on Tuesday for our next meeting.
* * * Sam's perspective * * *
By Sunday evening, I had had about all I could stand. Gerri had called Mark the previous day and told him about the kid's remarks. They had agreed that they should meet on random days of the week. Their next romp would be on Tuesday. I didn't find anything in the conversation that would lead me to believe that she was in love with him. It only sounded like two people who wanted sex with each other. But her actions certainly indicated that she didn't love me or her family very much to be able to do what she was doing.
I decided that I would give her an opening. Maybe, just maybe, she might confess and there might be a way to save our marriage. After supper and the children were in bed I provided the opening.
I looked Gerri straight in the eye and proceeded. "Honey, I have had the strange feeling for the past couple of weeks that something has happened that has or is affecting our marriage. I also have the feeling that I am being excluded from part of your life. Is it just my imagination, or is there something that perhaps you would like to talk about with me? I'm very concerned and want to get rid of this feeling."
Once again, the color drained from her face. She averted her eyes from mine and looked toward the floor. She surprised me when she came back with an immediate response.
"Darling, is this what has been making you act so strange lately?"
