How Much Worse can This Get?
Part II (Conclusion)
Note to Readers:
Please read Part I first, because Part II won't make any sense if you don't.
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I didn't know what I was going to do but, I knew I wasn't going home. I took a chance that my friend Butch was still in the office and called her. I was in luck, and I headed to her office.
I have to tell you about Butch. Her real name is Cheyenne Gillette, and she is the Director of IT. She is a retired US Navy Commander. Rumor has it that when she was younger she became the first woman to qualify for the Navy's BUDS school. A torn-up knee ended her chances. She is as tough as nails and not really close to anyone at work. She is an affirmed lesbian and proud of it. She doesn't like to be called a lesbian. Although she did say to me once, "if you're going to call me a lesbian, make certain you capitalize the 'L' but, I much prefer 'queer' as long as you are smiling when you say it."
I didn't pretend to understand any of it, but I was a friend of hers, pretty much the only one she had at work. That happened because one day I saw her being harassed by some Neanderthal outside of the break room. Having had enough, she physically pushed him away as she tried to get away from him. Now I have a live and let live policy, at least I used to, about people's choices and preferences. The jerk had crossed the line and definitely had it coming and much more in my book. When she looked over at me the color drained from her face. She knew she could be in deep shit. A company director pushing an hourly employee is generally frowned on unless you were related to the owner.
I calmly stated, "You know Ms. Gillette he shouldn't have hit you like that. Are you ok?"
She gave me a quick smile and leaned down and whispered something in the asshole's ear. As she walked past me, she stated. "Call me Butch. All my friends do." The asshole was a 'no call no show' for three days. He was terminated and never heard from again.
And that was that. We were friends. I thought I had screwed up when one time I accidentally called her Butch in an executive meeting. You could have heard a pin drop and I thought my career might be over. She never batted an eye. She immediately retorted with, "Ok Sundance." And all was good. If you were a friend of Butch's, you were a friend for life.
"Shit, Sundance, you look like crap!" Sundance had become her standard greeting for me since that incident. "What's going on? There's some office scuttlebutt about lots of drama in your end of the world."
"That's putting it mildly, Butch." Emotionally drained, I plopped myself down into a chair. "I need a place to crash for a while; can I hide out with you and Becky?" Becky was her partner of seventeen years.
"Of course, Jack, I'll have to clear it with her, but I don't see a problem. We have plenty of room. You want to tell me about it?"
I pretty much laid out the situation for her. I didn't leave a whole lot out, but when I told her what Frannie had done, and that I was going to fire her ass, she held up her hand to stop me.
"You can't fire her, Jack. You would be opening us up to a wrongful termination suit at the very least. It could get worse if she says you were retaliating against her for her personal issues unrelated to the workplace. I don't know if she would, but you can't afford to take the chance."
"Bull shit Butch, so she just gets to screw me over, after what she did?"
"Relax, Jack, I have a better idea. Just work out a transfer with Bill for her. I need a new Admin." Butch gave me a truly evil smile. "Give her a raise too. That way she can't say she was being harassed by you. You told me she needs the money, right?"
I couldn't help myself. I returned her smile and laughed. It was the first bit of good news I had, and maybe it would start me towards my recovery on the long road back. You see Butch, had worked here for about five years, and during that time span she had been through twelve, no it must be actually be thirteen, AA's now. And that's not even counting the ones that just resigned when they found out they would be working for her.
The first few she went through tried filing all sorts of complaints and lawsuits. None of them went anywhere because Butch didn't hold anyone to a different standard than she held herself. She kept impeccable records and brooked no-nonsense. Among the administrative staff she was known as 'The Angel of Death,' because, if you worked for her you were a 'dead girl walking.'
That night at their place I had to tell the whole story again for Becky's benefit. Her only response was to constantly shake her head in sympathy. Butch just seemed to get angrier. I was glad she was on my side.
After having wound down a bit from finishing my story, I told them about my conversation with Frannie after Dakota left.
"Oh, that cunt is just going to love working for me, Jack!"
I figured that was going to be a short story.
As I'm a glutton for punishment, I asked them about the 'beta' comment from Frannie. It's a guy thing, right?
Butch rolled her eyes at me. "Of course you are a beta Jack. Jesus, you guys have got to stop watching and reading so much porn! Listen, I know that in the porn world, betas are supposed to wear cock cages, get beaten with paddles, and clean up after their wife's trysts with her lover, but porn isn't real life.
"Do you really want to know what a beta male is? He's a terrific lover because he cares about what his partner wants in bed. He remains faithful and is a great father to his children. He will actually have conversations with his wife that don't involve their sex life. A beta male is very protective of his family. He will actually do the laundry once in a while and pick up after himself. He's dependable and not a control freak. He isn't threatened by his wife's friends or independence. There are a million other things Jack. Frannie wasn't insulting you; she was complimenting you.
"But what about Dakota's alpha gene comment?"
Becky interjected herself at this point. "You're going to have to ask Dakota about that one. You know you're going to have to at some point anyway, if only for your peace of mind. I don't pretend to comprehend her motivations for doing what she has done, but I can understand her thought process."
"What? Are you..."
"Relax, Jack, let me explain by asking you a question. Would you say that Butch is an alpha or a beta?"
"Definitely an alpha."
"You're wrong, she may be an alpha at work, but at home, she's definitely a beta. Why do you think I've been with her for all these years? She is all those things she described about betas when she is at home."
Now that really surprised me. I looked over at Butch. She had a wry smile on her face and was nodding her head.
"That's right Jack, I'm the alpha in our partnership. Butch lets me drive our relationship both in bed and out. She is the alpha, no that's not quite right, she has to be the alpha at work, which allows her to be the beta at home. She needs both to be complete.
"And Jack, the truth is that depending on circumstance, we all move between the alpha and beta personality traits. Unless of course, you are a sociopath."
Butch's eyes were moist. She was looking at Becky in loving admiration. I knew they were soul mates. I remembered similar looks from Dakota.
Jesus, I wonder if it's true?
"Men can probably do the same, but generally, women are better at compartmentalizing. My guess is that Dakota was telling Frannie the truth when she told her that she needed both of you in order to be whole."
At that point, Butch got up and went and sat in Becky's lap, and they began kissing passionately. I started to excuse myself and stood up to leave.
"Don't go, Jack." They spoke simultaneously. "We'll behave." And they laughed, embarrassed.
"It's true, Jack, Becky is my soul mate, but she runs things here. How are you feeling about all this?"
It took me a long time to gather and articulate my thoughts. This insight was new, and it made my brain hurt. But I came to understand the contradiction that was my life.
"You know, after listening and watching you two interact, I do believe she really does love me and needs me for that matter. But the problem is instead of being upfront about the life she needed at the beginning of our relationship, she made my life a lie. And she did it for her own selfish reasons. She knew I wouldn't have gone along with it, so to get what she wanted, she lied to me. I will never forgive her for that!"
"So, what's next for you then, Jack? What about your kids? I have to believe that they love you too. And you told us you loved them? You can't just switch that off because of what their mother did."
"I don't know, Butch, I just don't know. I do know that Dakota and I are getting divorced. And nothing on this earth will make me change my mind. I know it's petty, and it might end my relationship with Helena and Sheridan, but I'm going to make Dakota and her lover hurt and hurt bad.
"Out of curiosity, what do you both think about Frannie's role in this mess?"
Becky was silent, but Butch spoke, "I don't know if this makes sense, Sundance, but in a way her betrayal somehow seems worse to me. I mean your wife is what she is. My guess is that for all Dakota's flaws, her actions were driven by her internal idea of love, need, and compassion. But Frannie's disloyalty was devious, calculated, and unforgivable. Leave her to me."
I nodded my head and knew they understood. "I'm going to bed guys, thanks for letting me crash here."
My cell phone had been buzzing all night, indicating a text or phone call from Dakota. I never read, listened to, or answered any one of the more than twenty.
The next day at the office, I worked out the transfer for Frannie. She would start as Butch's AA on Monday. May God have mercy on her soul. In the meantime, she was sent home with pay for the rest of the week.
I was still staying at Butch and Becky's place. I was extremely grateful to them, and they didn't seem to be in any hurry to get rid of me. I had completely ignored all contact attempts from Dakota. What would be the point? I had instructed the security desk not to let Dakota anywhere near the office or parking lot.
I got an unexpected visitor at the office a few days afterward. It was Montana, Dakota's older sister. I guess it was my bad that I forgot to mention Montana to security. Montana had never really warmed up to me, nor I to her, I suppose. When she was around me, she had a perpetual smirk on her face. Like she knew something I didn't type of look.
Since I didn't have an AA any longer, there she was unannounced, standing in my doorway with her trademark smirk. Maybe today, I could wipe it off her face for good.
"What do you want, Montana?" As if I didn't know.
