"His name is Peter. He's a nice young fellow. I'm sure you will like him. Better be careful though, I hear he's quite the ladies man."
"Jack you prick," screamed Jackie over the static of the old wireless, "I'll get you for this."
It was just like Jack. He had picked up another stray and he was trying to tease his way out from under her wrath. It was going to be a hard sell this time though. Not only was she going to have to do all the prep for the next safari, she was going to have to play baby sitter to some testosterone enhanced greenhorn.
Of course, Jackie knew she couldn't gripe too much. She had been one of those strays once upon a time. She had been the fifteen-year-old schoolgirl and Jack the handsome and dashing wildlife photographer. He was ten years older and just out of reach, but that hadn't stopped her. Nothing had ever stopped her, not the endless succession of foster homes, not the endless succession of schools she had been kicked out of for fighting and not even the crushing loneliness. Back then, there were only two things she could call her own; her dream of Africa and her pride, big pride, sometimes even bigger than she was.
She had known Jack would never touch her, she could tell that about him from the very first and she didn't even want him to, but she wasn't going to miss the chance to get to know him better. It was the same kind of chance she had taken when she had stuffed her passport and every penny she had into the only two pockets she owned and hitchhiked to the airport. She'd had a fake ID, of course, but that hadn't fooled the grizzled old white hunter who was heading the safari. He had booted her out the moment she walked into his office, but that didn't even begin to stop her and they were 250 miles into the wilderness before she had been discovered under a tarp in the back of one of the supply trucks. The old guide was mad, but not nearly as mad as she had thought he might be.
"Cooks helper," was all he had said as he pointed to an old black man, "you don't work, you don't eat and you better not be any trouble or I will leave you out here."
It was all she could have asked for and she made the most of it. She worked hard and she kept an eye on Jack. She knew she had to make an impression before the safari was over and she got her chance one night when she saw him charge out of his tent and into the bush. She snuck after him and hiding just out of sight, she had watched him painstakingly free the little warthog from the brambles and put antiseptic on its wounds before holding it up to his face and kissing it on the snout.
"You can come out of the bushes now," he had said with a grin, before admonishing her, "The bush is no place for anyone to be alone who is inexperienced Jackie, especially at night."
It had been a huge moment for her. He had taken her seriously. Most men would have said "no place for a girl," but he hadn't. He had simply stated the obvious for her benefit and then invited her into his world. Holding the little critter up for her inspection, he spent the next ten minutes talking about how beautiful a warthog really was before patting it on the rump and sending it on its way. That was the way Jack was too. He was beautiful and his world was big and full of wonder.
Jack was also full of generosity and kindness. Sensing her need, he had taken her back to camp and borrowed the old white hunters jeep. While he drove, Jackie worked the spotlight and together they had explored the African night. It was a world few would ever see and seeing it with Jack had made it the most wonderful night of her life. It was the night she had fallen in love, with Jack, and with the life she knew she wanted.
"I'm sorry sweetheart," Jackie could barely make out over the worsening static, "but old Templeton caught me at the depot and you know how rhinos are, he'll need the extra help. It'll only be for a couple of weeks. Don't be afraid to put Peter to work."
"Oh, don't you worry about that," said Jackie, "He'll get plenty of work all right. Hell, maybe I'll let him work on me for a while Jack."
Jackie would never forget having to say goodbye to Jack after that wonderful summer. She had wanted to throw herself at his feet and beg him to marry her, but she could only be her own worst enemy.
"Do you have anything to say to me?" she had asked, her heart breaking that she could only react to her vulnerability with pugnacity.
He had looked at her for the longest moment. It was one of the few times, before or since, that she hadn't been able to tell what he was thinking. It was the longest moment of her young life.
"If you still want to hear what I have to say in five years," he had said, handing her his business card, "give me a call."
She had wanted him to say he loved her, of course, but she knew he was too much of a gentleman to ever say such a thing to such a young girl no matter how he felt and she had to respect him for that. It had made for a long five years, but they had been good years. The old safari guide had evidently seen something of himself in her and he had let her stay on at a small wage. She had even gotten a glance or two by men, but she had quickly cut them off. It wasn't just that no one had ever measured up to Jack, even though no one had. It was just Jack. He was the man for her. There was never going to be anyone else.
It was the night of her twentieth birthday that she picked up the phone and dialed his number. She had rehearsed some clever lines and carefully practiced her best sultry voice, but as soon as she heard him say hello the old defenses came to the fore and she presented her worst self, even to the man she loved.
"I believe we have some unfinished business," she had said defiantly even though they were the first words she had spoken to him in five years.
"I love you Jackie," he had said simply, filling her with gratitude that he had seen through her, "Will you marry me?"
She would never forget how her heart had felt at that moment. It was the best and worst moment of her life. It was the best because she was finally going to have someone to be close to, the man she loved. It was the worst because she knew she didn't know how.
"Thank God he isn't here to see me cry," she thought to herself, as the tears ran down her cheeks, "He will never see me cry."
"I love you too Jack," she had replied, "and I will marry you," but the words tore at her gut so bad she couldn't help but fight back, "but I'm not gonna suck your dick."
"Good," he had replied simply, once again forgiving her ineptitude and then giving her a comeback in kind to make her feel better, "cause I don't eat pussy."
And that's the way it was. Jackie would die for Jack, but when it came to sex, she could do no more than suffer through it. She almost never turned him down, but anything more than a quick missionary fuck was a misery for her and Jack didn't push the issue. He had tried to push her once, but only once. It was the only time he had ever hurt her and the only time she hadn't fought back. She had simply turned her head to the side and said "please Jack." For Jackie, fucking wasn't something she did, it was something that was done to her and even for Jack there was only so far she could go. Her own desire and passion she saw as a self-betrayal, a loss of control and dignity. Under the circumstances, Jack didn't even try for oral sex. For Jackie it would have meant submission and degradation and that was out of the question, so they had both learned to live with it. Their sex life was just like the rest of their volatile relationship, Jack didn't eat no pussy and Jackie didn't suck no dick.
Now here they were, twenty years had come and gone and they were happy in spite of their limitations and more in love than ever. In every other way than sex, life was good. They laughed, they played jokes on each other endlessly and their work in the bush brought them immense satisfaction. Of course they were, nevertheless, always just one word or gesture away from a battle and among their peers they were, in fact, famous for them. Through the years, Jack had smashed every kind of furniture that could possibly be smashed by a strong grown man and Jackie had thrown anything and everything that could possibly be thrown by a furious hellcat.
The one thing they had never done, however, was cross the line. Neither had ever taken their hand to the other, not to the body or to the heart. It wasn't that they were afraid of loosing the other, their tempers were often bigger than their good sense, but nothing was bigger than their love for each other. Somehow, they had always managed to keep from pushing the other farther than their stubborn pride would let them go and still come back.
"The money's good too Jackie. You know how much I am going to miss you," said Jack, still trying to soft-soap her, "You're still my one and only."
"I'm not going to miss you Jack," replied Jackie, "I won't have time, CAUSE I'M GOING TO BE WORKING MY ASS OFF JACK!"
Jack really had been faithful to her, she knew that. He was too honorable to ever cheat on her. She had worried about it sometimes though and she hated herself because she knew he had sometimes wanted to. Jack was a handsome and even glamorous man and he had gotten plenty of offers, all from women much more beautiful, better educated and more sophisticated than she. He had always come through for her though. He could always tell when she needed a little extra attention and he made sure she got it, although they could never address the situation directly or admit that was what it was about because there were some conversations they just couldn't have without starting a war.
"Jack, you goddamn goat fucker," Jackie thought to herself, still miffed, but unable to stifle the smile that came to her face, "This isn't funny."
It was true they didn't have much, but they had what they needed. Jack wasn't the best wildlife photographer in the world, but along with a guiding service and odd jobs he was good enough to make a living in a tough business and they had been able to travel the world and do what they both loved to do. Best of all, they had been able to be together. This was one of the few times she'd had to stay behind. It was a guiding job and the clients didn't want any women along. She didn't like it, but the money was great and not having to slog around in the Indian jungle for a month wasn't all bad. In a way, she was looking forward to it...until now.
"I'll be back right on time, I promise," said Jack.
"You better be Jack!" said Jackie, "and don't get yourself busted up either. We can't afford no doctor bills."
Of course, both Jack and Jackie knew the last part of her goodbye was Jackie's way of saying "I love you and be careful," and as always, Jack understood.
"I love you too sweetheart, don't worry," said Jack, just before the old wireless lost him completely.
***
Jackie stepped out of the stream, wrapped a big towel around her waist and sat on the blanket she had put in her favorite spot under a big Acacia tree. There was just enough breeze to bring a relief from the heat and she relished the feel of the water evaporating off her bare breasts as she contemplated the sights and sounds around her She could identify every sound and every creature and she knew that each one represented some life drama if you knew how to listen. It was something she loved to do so she was less than pleased as she spotted Peter making his way up the stream toward her in his swimsuit carrying a basket.
Jackie didn't bother to put on her top as she sat on her knees awaiting Peter's arrival. It was too hot and it really wasn't that big of a deal anyway. There was a certain informality among bush veterans and she had gotten used to being nude in front of men. She had spent months at a time wearing nothing but a thong and sometimes not even that when she and Jack had been on expedition in various parts of the world and although she didn't know him that well, she had a feeling that she could trust Peter. That too didn't really matter though, she felt confident she could take care of herself and there were quite a few fellows with bones in their noses who had found that out the hard way through the years.
She also felt favorably disposed to Peter because it was partially due to him that things had gone so well in spite of Jack's absence. Unlike most of the patrons who were a liability, Peter had chipped in right from the start. She had been able to tell right away that he knew his way around the bush too and she had been relieved to see that she wasn't going to have to keep too much of an eye on him. Not, she had to admit to herself, that she would have minded all that much. He was, in fact, absolutely the most gorgeous young man she had ever seen. He was handsome and well built with long flowing blond hair and eyes that changed their shade of blue depending on which direction he was looking and he had one of those "little boy" smiles that in her most intimate moments with herself, Jackie had to admit she found especially attractive.
In a lot of ways, he reminded her of Jack when he had been young except that they were social opposites. Jack was always the life of the party, while Peter was quiet and introspective. There was no mistaking though that each had a certain panache, a love of life, and the ability to instill confidence in their abilities.
"This is a nice little place," he said after sitting on his knees in front of her and placing a basket of fruit at his side, "I hope I'm not intruding."
