"Noel, get yourself together," Bella spoke with concern.
"Please! Just leave me alone. Just... Just..." I shouted as I stormed out of the room.
I got in my car and switched on the ignition. The engine roared to life. From my peripheral vision, I could see Bella and Cathy rushing towards me. I managed to shift the gear and pressed the accelerator. The car gave a jerk and stopped.
"Noel! Listen to me. Be rational," Bella shouted, as she approached the car. Without wasting a moment I repeated the action, and this time, the car was in motion.
During the drive to my house, my mind was orbiting around the report which Bella had shown to me. What I read in the reports blew my mind. The excruciating pain in the chest was evidence that my instinct had taken possession of my life now. The cognitive element of my mind was paralyzed. My body was in the possession of a foreign entity. I had lost it.
As I reached home, my mind began to regain control of the body. I remained seated in the seat for a while and looked my ring: the symbol of Kate's commitment to me. I pulled the ring out from my finger and grabbing the DNA report, I made my way into the house. The heavy breathing and the increased pace in my heartbeat was something that I could not decipher. As I entered the house I scanned the room to see if Kate was present. The noise of the frying pan and utensils from the kitchen made me aware of her presence in that room. I stood at the door for a minute trying to rehearse what I was going to say. But my mind was too shocked to begin its cognitive function. I approached the table in the living room, placed the report and the ring on the table. I turned around to look for a pen and paper and grabbing them, I wrote a note: 'You won, Kate. You have made a fool of me. The divorce papers will be ready by next week. Please don't try to contact me. I will contact you myself to tell you the date and time.'
I made my way out of the house and got in the car. I drove to my mom's house. She was surprised to see me at her place at that time of the day. Upon entering the house I hugged my mom and wept like a little child. She put her arms around me and began stroking my head.
"It's over, Mom. It's all over," I said as I wept bitterly.
~~~~~
The shocking revelation of Sarah and my relationship had a fateful impact on my life. Why wouldn't it? It was I who taught her to walk by supporting her by my finger. It was I who taught her to speak and the first word to escape her mouth was 'Daddy.' It was me again, who spent the sleepless nights beside her when she was ill. Not that Kate didn't involve herself in any of her upbringing, but I personally felt I had played an important role in bringing her up. My mom was fond of her. She wanted a grandchild and the arrival of Sarah only fulfilled her long-awaited dream. It was all gone now. The childhood dream of having a perfect family, a perfect job and a perfect life was shattered.
Confronting Kate was something I couldn't think of. My mind was too worked up to give her the benefit of doubt. My mom, coming from a devoted family advised me to apply for 'no-fault divorce' which was against my will. If I were to leave Kate with 'fault divorce,' things would have been pretty hard for her and Sarah. They would be left with nothing. So I decided to give them the house and 45% of our savings. Was I doing it for Kate? No. It was for Sarah, who had given me the joy of being a father, even if it were for a little while. The word about splitting up got to Kate's family too. After a lot of calls and emails, I decided to meet Kate and speak with her. Not to listen, but to condemn her.
I drove to the place which was my home once upon a time. There were no sorry feelings in me. Feelings of sympathy and sadness had no impact on the rock-hard mind of mine. No words of consolation seemed to penetrate into my heart. As I stood in front of the door, I paused to recollect what I was about to say. Inhaling some air, I rang the doorbell. I heard some footsteps approaching from within. The door opened and my wife stood before me.
I looked at Kate with no emotion. I could see the horror on her face as she looked at me in the eyes.
"Noel... I am..." she sobbed as she spoke.
"May I come in?" I interjected.
She nodded and I entered the house. I greeted my mother-in-law, who was in tears herself. I didn't show any sign of sympathy. Kate requested her mother to give us some time to speak in private. Once she had left, I went and sat on the couch. Kate sat down beside me. We sat there, waiting for the other person to begin. Finally, I decided to begin the conversation.
"The divorce papers will be ready by Friday. You can keep the house. I have split the savings and it will be deposited into your account. I will meet you in court this Saturday."
"Noel... I am sorry... I have hurt you a lot," Kate spoke as tears ran down her cheek.
"I got used to the fact that you were cheating on me, Kate. Yes, I knew you were cheating on me. I saw you on our wedding anniversary and I decided not to confront. I thought of winning you back. I did everything in my capacity. But I failed. I guess your love for Derry was stronger."
"Noel... please don't say that... I always loved..."
"Enough, Kate!" I shouted as I looked at her. The entire house echoed with my voice. After a brief pause, I inhaled some air and spoke calmly. "I don't want you near me. You are free to make love with whichever guy you like. You are no longer my wife."
"Noel... Please, just listen to me. Just this once..."
"You had five years to explain to me, Kate. I am done. I have been hurt by you. It is better that I don't see you again. If you claim to love me, then do me a favour." I paused softly, "Let me never see you again."
Kate was shocked to hear the words escape my mouth. By the look, I could make out that she had nothing to say. She sat there paralyzed, looking at me in horror.
"Noel, without you I am not sure what will become of, Sarah and me," Kate said.
"If you want more money, let me know. But just leave me alone. I beg you."
"Who will give Sarah the love she needs? She needs you, Noel. She is already restless without you. Please, don't do this."
"Let her real father take care of her. She is not even my blood. She can never be my daughter."
With that, I knew that left Kate had nothing more to say.
"I'm taking my things from this house. It will be better that you destroy any evidence of my presence in the house," I said.
With that, I got up, went to the bedroom and packed whatever clothes and files I could get. Kate came up to the bedroom and stood in the doorway. She was too shocked to comprehend what was happening. Tears flooded her eyes as she watched me move about packing my bag. I took my bags and moved out of the house. Having kept all the luggage in the car, I drove to my mom's house.
~~~~~
The next nine months were nothing but pain. The nine months of separation were torture. Nothing seemed to improve after that. Everything went downhill. I stopped visiting Bella and Cathy soon after the hearing. I stopped my visits to the gym. My life was confined to my work and my home. I didn't socialize with anyone, nor did I care to give any thought about going dating anyone else. My mom was patient with me and she got used to my way of life. She fixed the meals and did the household chores. I went to work and spent fourteen hours at my workplace. I hardly socialized with my colleagues. I was home to eat and sleep. And the next day, the same routine followed. After nine months of separation from Kate, we were officially divorced.
It was Sunday, and I was lying down facing the ceiling. My mom's voice caught my attention. I heard her speaking to someone and some laughter in the background. I assumed it to be the mailman or the milkman. After a while, I heard a knock on my room door. As I failed to respond, the knock on the door grew louder.
