When I met my wife Katey, we were both pretty hurt from our previous relationships and family background. Our zodiac sign is cancer and our relationship quickly deepened and we shared our pains, created a strong bond and fell in love with each other. I found in her the love, compassion and understanding I so desperately needed and I had been looking for all those previous years. She really fed my soul.
Like all relationships, ours has suffered through many challenges and even has gotten close to the end a couple of times, but love has its ways and these experiences have brought us closer to each other instead of destroying all the beautiful things that we have created together.
I have learnt a lot from my wife. Especially about self acceptance. When we met, I had been interested for some time in some femdom practices I happened to encounter browsing the web, both in the form of erotic or pornographic pictures and videos, as well as in erotic literature. I used to feel self repressed because I didn't have the courage to express my desires with my sentimental partners. With Katey, though, I decided to go ahead and open myself to her. She had shown so much love and acceptance to me already. I knew I could trust her...
She used to describe to me how other ex-boyfriends had treated her without much respect at all. She had felt many times forced to please them in a particular way in the bedroom, which she always refused to do as she doesn't like being pushed. I was used, from my previous relationships, to be dominant in the bed, but with Katey this didn't work well... she had her resistances. I saw in that the opportunity to explore my submissive side, and I really believed that it would help us both, in a therapeutic way: to experience, through our sexual practices, a psychological and spiritual release of our ghosts and pains.
The first time I admitted to her that I was interested in pegging was a total disaster. I thought, by her reaction, that she was not interested. I even thought that she had labeled me as a weirdo who is into some weird stuff. It was a bit shocking for her. She didn't expect it. However, we started to explore slowly. She needs to take things slow. For me that was difficult because I was so eager to push boundaries and I couldn't understand what was holding her back.
After some time she was an expert in prostate massage, which was a whole new world of pleasure. Soon enough, we also bought a beginners strapon set and practiced pegging for the first time. It was like a dream come true. I loved the physical, mental and emotional aspect of having my ass penetrated by the woman I so much love. To feel her hips thrusting and driving me to a world of great pleasure. We also started exploring the world of tease and denial and ruined orgasms, and mixing it with the anal stimulation. By that time our relationship had the strongest challenge that we have ever faced and it was about to destroy us. However, we survived and stood stronger than ever.
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Some time after, reviewing my thoughts and perceptions about Katey's previous experiences, I started to finally understand much better the workings of her mind. She was scared of being hurt again. She was scared of losing me. She protected herself with a shell, and had fear driven thoughts of anxiety and jealousness. I am not going any deeper into these issues because that would be a different whole story, but it is relevant that those feelings existed. Once I managed to understand her fully, it all made sense. She was a beautiful, hurt woman. I decided I wanted to marry her. We had gone through so much together and for the first time in my life I was ready to commit to someone: her. Luckily, she was happy to accept.
It was then when I brought up the idea of chastity. I had an interest in male chastity devices although I was not at all sure if I wanted to try. However I really thought that it would be a good way to show her how much I love her, enough to give her the literal key to my orgasms. I thought it would open her eyes regarding me. She could be in control. She could be the one who decides. I would do whatever she would say. She liked the idea and we ordered a chastity device. In this first exploration, we experienced different problems.
As I have explained, I was used to being both dominant in bed and in my relationships. Experiencing some "topping from the bottom" type of submission like pegging had become part of the comfort zone and would make my ego react. But now, I was supposed to obey every single little command that my wife gave me and this was challenging. Also, I couldn't help but try and ask her to practice this or that fantasy I had in mind. This was inappropriate and for her very unpleasant: I was supposed to be submissive and I was telling her what to do! So while we tried a lot of sexy ideas (the hottest, dirtiest things that I have done in my life), it was no real chastity. I also was keeping a key to the lock, just in case. I, too, was protecting myself.
One time, while we were still just exploring chastity as an extended foreplay where I still would push ideas and ask my wife to try different things, she had enough. During this time chastity was not strict at all. Sometimes we would play for just a few hours. Our record was three days, with plenty releases from the cage to play edging and tease and denial, or anal play sessions. My wife and I had agreed to have a minimum of 1h play time every day. Of course I felt like I had landed my deal: I had my fantasy of chastity realised on my own terms. Normally she released me two or three times per day for tease and denial sessions that I very much enjoyed.
After that, I would ask her to finger my ass, or fuck me with the strapon, which I also enjoyed a lot. So she found herself being frustrated: a supposed-to-be-a-dominant-wife that was actually taking orders from her supposed-to-be-slave! That day she had had enough. She promised me an extended session at night if I didn't ask her a single time about what would we do and when. I just had to be patient and wait. It wasn't easy at all. By that time, two or three days of not cumming transformed me into what we used to call "the horny dog": an unstoppable begging machine that would continuously ask for attention until that need was satisfied. But I liked the idea. I loved her attitude when she was dominant with me. It was sexy. I felt vulnerable and owned by her. I felt at her mercy. Letting go of the control was the get off, yet so difficult to do...
At night, after a whole day being obedient, I was super excited. I would however pretend I wasn't even thinking about it, but in reality I was almost anxious as to when would she order me to strip myself down to my chastity cage. That day she gave me a big lesson. She didn't play with me at all. She said it was time for bed. I protested. I explained to her that I was sacrificing a lot (my orgasms anytime I want, for instance) to play this game and that if she was not going to give me the attention I so much needed and deserved it wasn't going to work. She said if I behaved maybe we would play the day after. I had a few moments of frustration and anger, but then it all clicked in my mind. She had learnt. The moment I had been waiting so long for had arrived. She had taken control. She had dominated me. I surrendered to my wife. I stopped complaining and I cuddled her, and went to sleep.
