How I Became a Hotwife

Do you know that feeling of panic that comes when a wave takes you by surprise?

I do. I experienced a suffocating adrenaline rush that dilated my time until I managed to touch the fine sand on the seabed again with my toes. My whole center of balance turned into a deafening whirlwind of thoughts: "What happened?", "When did the wave appear?", "Where is the calm sea that surrounded me?"

If you recognize the feeling, then let me confess that I just described to you the mixture of feelings I had on the day when my then boyfriend (today, my husband) shared with me, for the first time, the fantasy of seeing myself in the arms of another man.

I felt confused in a sea of ​​love that I no longer recognized.

I felt disappointed and scared and -- most intensely -- unappreciated.

I tried to find a breath of fresh air to get me out of the wave: to link my boyfriend's unusual desire to a real landmark in our life..., a need for change..., an end...

I remembered that his jealousy had always been below detectable limits, which was admirable, of course, to this day. But the idea of ​​sharing me with other men only instilled insecurity in me.

Although hotwifing is largely about a woman's sexuality, studies show that, in an overwhelming proportion, this experience is triggered by the husband's request. Although it may exist latently in the minds of married women (especially in relationships where intimacy has reached a plateau), they rarely demand sexual freedom to experience pleasures with other men, especially in the presence of their husbands.

In my case, the idea was inoculated by my husband, drop by drop, for years. Was it worth his patience? Was it worth my trust?

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Fantasy and Reality

When two people are involved in a long-term, stable and comfortable relationship, any fantasy can be anchored in the couple's life. Beyond the state of excitement and pleasure, we must recognize that fantasies open windows to their own desires. Which we either share or keep for personal satisfaction.

I hope you agree with me when I say that a relationship with moments of sincerity in intimacy is healthy for both partners. When each reveals more and more about himself, he or she gives the other the opportunity to know him or her better. And maybe to understand it.

Although I know many of my husband's fantasies, I admit that I do not always understand him.

When we bring our fantasies into the real world, they simply become experiences. And other new fantasies are taking their place in our minds and on our lips. But when we turn sexual dreams into reality, we must not forget that each person has their own psychological barriers that, most of the time, do not overlap with those of the life partner.

For a long time my limit was the pattern of marriage. His limit was always beyond.

After the fantasy of posting intimate pictures on different platforms became a reality, my husband told me about a new desire -- to really share me with someone else. That was the moment when I felt that I had reached the end, because I had reached my psychological limits. My need to belong was no longer satisfied. Because the new fantasy he brought to the couple put me in the position of no longer just being his.

So, at that point, my husband's approach was cautious -- he abandoned the subject for a while, moving the fantasy back into his mind.

This fantasy no longer exists, because in the meantime it has become a reality. But in retrospect, I realize that the two of us have managed to shape our own barriers and patiently push them higher and higher.

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The vehement refusal on my part lasted several years. Although there have been attempts to bring the fantasy back into question, my husband has shown a great deal of patience.

But shortly after we got married, I began to look at his proposal with different eyes. Looking back, I can't tell you exactly whether the security of the new status of "my husband's lady" was to blame, or I just got used to the idea of ​​a another man in my bed.

The minimum condition to become a hotwife is to be the wife of a man very much in love with you.

That I love Alex -- I know for a long time, that he loves me -- I know from the beginning, but being married has brought us long-term stability. We are not used to project irresponsible erotic entertainment, because we care about the couple's evolution, its development. We are attentive to the other's needs and we manage to satisfy them, but within our own comfort.

Drop by drop

This is Alex's technique with which he has often been successful. The tactful approach, both in moments of excitement and in everyday moments (at coffee or in the car) contributed to the "implantation" of the idea in my mind. Drop by drop. We recently saw the movie Inception again and we had fun together when we realized that this is how I became a hotwife.

Lots of chemistry. From the first moment.

I started this series of confessions, assuming that I will share with you details behind our story. I'm a beautiful woman. And very much loved by my husband. He knows me so well that I am impressed by his attention to detail when making the selection of men he would like to share me with.

And his first (real) proposal was successful. The man he introduced me to, the one with whom we experienced this lifestyle for the first time, was to my taste. There was chemistry between us from the first moment. Half an hour after I met, I spread my legs for him, right in front of my husband who admired us fascinated from a corner of the room. Beyond the tense moments, I liked to find myself in the arms of another man. While Alex confused me with his happiness.

Challenge: what are the steps from wife to hotwife?

In the end, I ask you to express your opinion: what do you think is the motivation of a wife to become a hotwife?

I can't wait to read your answer in the comments.

In the meantime, I'm starting to write new confessions.