You may wish to read parts 1 and 2 first, so things make sense... Or not, hey it's a free country. Nobody under age eighteen is in here, please remember it's a piece of fiction, not reality, any resemblance to persons living or dead is completely ridiculous. Try to be civil in your comments, please. Especially you Mr. Anonymous!
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My soon-to-be-ex-wife still had a key to my classic car. So there I was, trying to politely get her lying, cheating ass out of my car. Then she drops the bomb on me.
"I'm pregnant."
"That's impossible!"
"Apparently not. Well, I was still mensing, but at my age the chance of conception...I thought it was impossible too."
Then the double whammy: there is a possibility that I'm the father. I find that possibility to be remote, as my young replacement was spending way more time between her thighs.
I had made love to her once, three months previously, and the doc said that she was three months along. So theoretically, it was possible that I was the dad.
In practical terms though, my one ejaculate vs. her young gigolo's many deposits, hell the guy had cum inside her before I had, that same day! I swear she loved the idea of giving me sloppy seconds. It was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. It broke my heart. I didn't find out for sure until her announcement, but then it all became crystal clear to me.
Of course her boy toy had fucked her between eighty and ninety times, according to my Polish P.I. I have no reason to doubt his numbers, as he turned out to be brilliant. I'm gonna ask him to be head of security for my companies.
Back to the situation in my beautiful old Bentley, she was trying to kill me, at least metaphorically speaking.
Finally, my evil nemesis went in for the hat trick. She wanted to come home with me! What, what! WHAT!? The shocked look upon my face must have been priceless.
"Why?" was all I could say. I was having a tough time processing all this shit at once.
"Because I'm lonely, I miss you, and I'm pregnant. My ex-boyfriend showed his true colors, and now you tell me he's married! I threw away my life for NOTHING. I have a better idea. Just drop me over by the big bridge. You won't ever have to worry about me. Tell the kids I will always love them."
"You aren't serious are you?" If she really wants to kill herself, maybe I should help her! After all the horrible things she'd done to me and our marriage, no court would convict me. I might get a medal!
"Well, what are my options here? I single handedly destroyed our marriage. I've no one to blame but myself for that. Before I go, I want to say one thing. I am so sorry for what I did. I have no excuse. I was feeling blue, and Tim hit on me when I was feeling fat and ugly. The time when you were in Europe and then Asia. I wish you would have been home. I fell for his line of bullshit, hook line and sinker. I... I have no excuse for my slutty behavior. I hope that someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me. The one other thing, you were always better in bed than him. He had a big schlong, but he never gave a shit about my happiness. You always made me come first. Always. Every single time. I see my stupidity now. Just drop me by the top of the bridge. I'll finish this. I hope you remember one thing. Despite my stupidity, I always, always, ALWAYS loved you. I have started seeing a therapist about two weeks ago. He said I should just be honest about my feelings. Let the chips fall where they may. So I'm trying to mend fences before I go."
"Listen, I have to call my women, prepare them for this. You don't just spring this on them." I paused, "And you aren't going to kill yourself. You said you were trying to be honest about your feelings. Do you really WANT to commit suicide? If you really do, I'm taking you to a mental hospital. If you are just very unhappy, then maybe we can fix that. Excuse me."
I jumped out of the car and closed the door. I walked behind the car and called Gail. "Gail, I need your help and expertise."
"Honey, I am so sorry, the girls and me, we all got stinking drunk. I don't know how good I can help you. What is the matter? My mother loves you by the way. She said you were the best man she has ever been with, ever. Oh, and my sister, she and I have not talked in years, she wants to marry you. She said her girlfriend feels the same way. So I guess you did what I asked you to do, and perfectly. So what could possibly go wrong?"
"Karen was in my car. Her boyfriend bailed on her when she told him-" Gail drunkenly interrupted me.
"-Told him WHAT?"
"That she is pregnant."
"That's impossible."
"That's what I said, but she just checked it with the doctor. He says she is three months along."
"Does that mean what I think it means?" She asked.
"Wow, for a drunk you are faster on the uptake than I am."
"What does 'on the uptake' mean?" I tend to forget she is Polish by birth, and English is her second language. She speaks better than I do!
"It means that you're way smarter than me! And yes, there is the possibility that I could be the father. But think about it, I only did it one time in three months. How many times did he shoot his load in her?"
"Why are you bringing that skag home? After what she did to you, she's lucky you don't shoot her! What are we supposed to do? Be nice?" She sounded like I was bringing home a large black widow spider.
"She says she wants to jump off a bridge. I need to know if she's really suicidal, or just looking for sympathy. She finally apologized to me, and admitted her actions destroyed our marriage. I need to know if she is really sorry, or just sorry he left her."
"You forgot to mention that."
"You're right. I am kinda sorta overwhelmed by all this shit. I need to process. I need your help. I need you. I ... I love you Gail."
