Hot Ride 2

Today's story of human frailty was shared with me by a divorce lawyer. He swears the story is true. I will leave that to the reader to decide. All names and places have been changed.

Constructive criticism is always welcome. Ad hominem attacks will, of course, be deleted.

If you enjoy this missive I encourage you to read my earlier works. Thank you.

*****

Chapter I

I was having the day from hell. Nothing was going right and now I needed to drive to our west suburban distribution center to pick up a load of brochures for an upcoming trade show. I grabbed one of the mail room clerks, Kevin, a twenty something young man who was more strong back then brain, and a company van and set off.

Fifteen minutes later we were sitting at a stop light when my helper said, "Whoa, like that is one hot ride." I turned my head to the left and saw a fire truck red Mustang GT convertible sitting at the light. I immediately recognized the beautiful blonde driver; it was my wife Connie. When the light changed to green she nailed the gas and the car rumbled across the intersection.

What the hell was she doing around here? I thought as I cranked a right-turn-on-red and began to follow her. Since I was in an nondescript white delivery van I wasn't worried about being recognized and kept close behind.

"Does your phone have a camera?

"Sure Mr. Keller. Like they all do."

"Good. I want you to film everything that blonde does. Just make sure she doesn't see you."

About a mile later the ragtop pulled into The Paradise Motor Inn, a down on the heels motel. It was a true vestige from the 1950's with a balcony running the full length of the second floor. Connie pulled in and stopped at a sliding window before driving all the way to the end of the building. She parked next to a silver Lexus.

Get out and shoot some close ups...but don't get caught."

Kevin hopped out and I pulled the van into the strip shopping center next door. I parked in their rear lot alongside the garbage dumpsters .

I noticed Connie was wearing the same conservative gray business suit she had on this morning except the black blouse was unbuttoned showing off a lot of cleavage.

Connie was putting the top up when a man in a sport coat snuck up behind her. He spun her around and began kissing her like they were anxious lovers desperate for a rematch.

I had to do something. A stupid idea popped into my head. It would be interesting to hear her response if I invited her to lunch I took out my cell phone and punched her number. I could hear its distinctive ring across the lot. Connie checked caller ID and held her index finger up to her lips shushing her paramour.

She didn't even say hello, "This is a bad time. I'm in a very important meeting add I'll call you this afternoon." She hung up before I could even say my last good bye and resumed kissing her Lothario.

Something snapped. I lost my mind...hate consumed every cell of my body. My soul cried out for vengeance. Divorce was too good, only their deaths would grant me peace. I decided I was going to run them down with the van. I backed out of the parking space to where I had a clear shot at the miscreants. As I lined up to crush them against the side of the Ford a woman with two children walked out of a first floor room and began loading a car trunk only a couple of spaces away. "Damn!" I cursed as I pounded on the steering wheel until my hands ached. I couldn't kill them in front of little kids.

When the enormity I was going to commit a double murder sank in I began to sob. I watched the adulterers walk hand-in-hand up the stairs to their illicit lair; I wanted to confront them but was unable to make my legs move. I was a beaten man. A minute later their door slammed shut, with a do not disturb placard hanging on the doorknob.

Just when I felt my lowest God tossed me a bone. My hand brushed my pocket and I realized I had a set of keys for the Mustang. I immediately knew what I was going to do.

Kevin climbed in the van and said, "Got it boss. I was even close enough to pick up what they were saying." He looked at me and asked, "Hey, like this is real bad, ain't it?"

I managed to say, "Yes Kevin, this is real bad. But you're going to help me change the dynamic."

"Okay, whatever that means. You're the boss."

"Good, I want you to take the van and follow me. I'll be in the hot ride. We'll make a stop before our pickup then head back to the office. You have to promise you will not breathe one word of this to anyone."

"Don't sweat it, I'm cool."

I didn't want the tuned exhaust to alert my wife so I shifted the car into neutral and pushed it into the shopping center's lot before starting it."

My mind was racing. I couldn't believe it...I thought we had a great marriage. The truth had punched me in the face; my wife was a common whore. Tears flowed as I tried to pay attention to my driving. I called a trusted friend who owned a small farm outside of town; more important it had a big pole barn. "Randy, Jim I need a favor and I can't explain why."

Twenty minutes later the hot ride was safely hidden under a tarp in the barn.

When we got back to the office Kevin downloaded his video to my laptop then burned a half dozen extra copies.

I slipped him a $50 and said "Thanks."

"Thanks man. Anything you need you know where to find me."

Then I went down stairs to see our IT guy. "Brian, I have a problem and I hope you can help me. I have a license plate and I need to know everything about the owner ASAP."

"Mr. Keller, we don't usually do stuff like that. I mean it's sort of illegal. But Kevin called and said you were cool."

Fifteen minutes later Brian was standing in my office with a shit eating grin on his face. "I called a friend at the DMV who ran the plates. After that it was easy. This guy's wife posts everything on facebook." He handed me a complete dossier on Alan McAree, adulterer.

Too bad for McAree, I also had his wife's e-mail address and phone number.

It wasn't easy finding an attorney who would draft divorce papers in a couple of hours but find one I did. It cost double his standard $300/hour fee to put together a respectable Petition for Dissolution or Marriage but it was worth it. The saddest thing was to reflect on five years of marriage and realize without any kids and a house mortgaged to the hilt there wasn't a heck of a lot to fight over. Mostly used furniture.

We live in a no-fault divorce state however I refused to back down on the grounds; adultery. We even added a couple of pictures, one of them kissing and the second of them walking into the hotel room. Damn Kevin wasn't bragging when he said he got close.

I had two copies stamped by the Clerk of the Circuit Court in my hands by 4PM. Her affair with McAree was now part of the public record.

I was useless at work so I passed the time cancelling our credit cards and joint checking and savings accounts like my attorney told me to do.

Chapter II

Around that same time the adulterers walked out on the balcony, no doubt tired but basking in the glow of five hours of illicit sex. They walked hand-in-hand down to the parking lot smiling like they didn't have a care in the world. That changed in an instant. There was nothing parked next to McAree's Lexus. Connie's eyes got big as she searched the parking lot before screaming, "My cars been stolen!" Followed by a chorus of "This can't be happening to me!"

"If we call the police they're going to want to know why you were parked in a hotel lot."

"Shit!" The two of them brainstormed. McAree came up with a plan. "We have to go to a busy restaurant, one with lots of cars. Then you call the police and say it was stolen while you were eating lunch. And I know just the place. It's always blown out. "

McAree drove them to a restaurant about five miles away. "Shit!" Unfortunately neither counted on the lull between the lunch rush and the dinner crowd; there were only a hand full of cars in the lot.

"It's too late to find anywhere else and I've got to get back to work. Just tell the police you had lunch and left your car here to go shopping at the mall or something. I'll be back as soon as I can."

He tried to kiss her but she pulled away. Connie was not happy lover boy was abandoning her to face the cops alone. Her hands were shaking as she dialed 9-1-1.

Ten minutes later a squad car arrived to take her report.

As I did every night I called Connie when I got home however tonight's call went straight to voice mail. I left a friendly message, no sense tipping my hand, "Hi honey, let me know if you'll be on time for dinner." She did not return the call.

I called again at 5:30 and left a message saying to call me so I knew how to time dinner.

By six I was getting pretty pissed off and called again. Connie actually answered. "Oh Jim, someone stole my beautiful car from a restaurant parking lot," she sobbed.

"Where are you? I'll be right over."

"No!" She actually yelled no! "The police are here and I'm handling it." She was in a panic.

"Where are you so I can at least rescue you."

"The officer wants to talk to me. I've got to go." She hung up on me for the second time today.

So I ate my dinner alone; the silence was only broken when I imagined the look on her whoring face when she saw her pride and joy was missing. I'll bet that knocked the post-orgasmic haze off her mind. That was when I laughed.

Around seven a silver Lexus at the end of the block. It made a three point turn in a driveway then stopped. I saw Connie get out and begin the long walk home as he sped away. As she got closer I could see her blouse was buttoned all the way to the collar. She didn't notice me standing on the front porch until she was a couple of doors away.

"Why didn't your boyfriend drop you off in front of the house?"

"Boyfriend," she panicked. "No, don't be silly. No, he's someone I know from work: I think he's one of the sales reps," she stammered.

"So why didn't he drop you off at home so I could properly thank him."

Connie began babbling something about him being late for something and not able to stop.

"Why are you giving the third degree? Can't you see I'm having a very bad day. Please, back off."

"Okay," was all I said as we walked in.

She plopped down on the couch.

"So let's hear about your important meeting. How were you get away to a restaurant for such a long lunch?"

"No, it was...I mean we had a late break and I, I mean we...uuuh..."

Her response was interrupted by the doorbell. "Hold that thought," I said as I opened the door..

The police officer and I exchanged a few words before I walked him over to my wife. He looked down on her and asked,. "Are you Constance Keller?"

I could see her hands were shaking as she nodded in the affirmative.

"I'm detective O'Connors. I need to speak with you regarding your auto theft report. There appears to be a discrepancy regarding where the car was parked when it was stolen."

I played innocent and asked, "Connie, what's he talking about?"

Connie responded by puking all over the rug.

I ran to the bathroom and came back with a wastebasket and a roll of paper towels. Connie slumped into the chair while I cleaned up her mess. When I was finished I returned with a glass of cold water.

The detective didn't say a word. He simply intimidated the hell out of her by the way he stood lording over her as she sipped it. I stood next to him with my arms crossed.

"Mrs. Keller, do I have your permission to record this interview?"

"I guess so."

"Thank you. Let's start from the beginning. The restaurant has complimentary valet service but the car hiker is certain he didn't park your car. He's something of a gear head and said he would remember if your car was in his lot."

He began firing questions, "Who was your waitress? Where were you sitting? Do you have a charge card receipt? Were you with someone who could vouch for you? Mrs. Keller, can you explain how no one saw you or your very distinctive car?"

I could barely hear Connie's answer, "No sir."

He paused for dramatic effect then thumbed through his notes before resuming his interrogation, "You said after lunch you went shopping at the mall. "What stores did you shop at? What did you buy? Do you have any receipts?"

We live in a peaceful upper middle class suburb where not much happens on the night shift. The detective was playing this as though it was the return of Bonnie and Clyde.

Connie buried her face in her hands and began sobbing.

"Mrs. Keller you can answer now or we can go down to the station."

He was doing a beautiful job at building a trap.

"Mrs. Keller, would you like your husband to leave the room?"

She shook her head no.

"Mrs. Keller, I don't know if you were aware the Paradise Hotel videos every guest and their car as they arrive. I'll be picking up a copy of the surveillance tomorrow morning so if you want to amend your statement you should do it now."

I could see the life draining out of Connie's face. Gone was the cocky bitch who hung up on me at the hotel. I could barely hear her as she asked, "Do I need a lawyer?"

"You need to start telling the truth right now."

Silence.

"Do you realized I can place you under arrest for filing a false police report?"

"Jim, I'm so sorry. I only lied so you wouldn't get hurt." Then story of her affair spewed from her mouth.

Even though I knew how it ended the words tore through me. I was crying so hard I had to sit or my knees surely would have bucked.

When she finished she looked at me, her eyes pleading for mercy. Instead I turned away in disgust.

Detective O'Connors confirmed McAcree's phone number and place of employment-she didn't even know his home address- and said "I think I have everything I need."

"Are you going to arrest me?"

"I'll be meeting with the States Attorney in the morning. That'll be his call."

When he left Connie collapsed into a sobbing mass on the floor casting lamentations. "I'm so sorry I hurt you." Connie was flailing her arms to emphasize her words. "Jim, I love you. I never meant to hurt you."

"Do you hear what you're saying? You're not saying you're sorry you cheated...you're only sorry you got caught. Well guess what. You more than got caught...you got busted. I want to show you a video someone sent me today. I think you should sit down." I led her to the couch and helped her sit. I could feel her body trembling.

I hit the power button and our hi def TV sprung to life. Connie fainted dead out as she watched the video of her car pulling into the hotel parking lot.

While I waited for her to regain consciousness I opened my lap top and sent the same video to Mrs. Alan McAree. I followed this up with a phone call telling her to open the attachment if she wanted to know why her husband was late this evening. I could hear children in the background. "I'm very sorry but you need to watch this as soon as possible."

I stood over my soon to be ex-wife and waited. The video was running again when she regained consciousness. She looked catatonic; her eyes were hollow and bloodshot; tears poured down her face. What was left of her makeup made her look like a caricature of the beautiful woman I used to love. She stared in rapt horror as her betrayal played.

"I watched this video a dozen times hoping it would turn out to be a sick joke. I can't even begin to tell you how I feel when I watch you answer my phone call. I can hear you laughing as you hang up and kiss him again."

I couldn't make out what she was trying to say as she crawled over to me and collapsed at my feet sobbing. She reached out to touch me. I moved my legs out of her reach. "Don't touch me you filthy whore."

She began wailing like a banshee.

It didn't take much more than five minutes before Connie's cell phone rang. I grabbed it off the table; the ID said blocked caller. I answered with a whispered, "Alan," then put it on speaker.

The ruse worked; McAree thought I was Connie. "What the fuck is going on you fucking bitch!" He screamed. "My wife tore my head off for having an affair and threw me out. This is all your fault!" I hung up on him.

"What an asshole. You sure can pick 'em."

Connie's body began to convulse. She tried to talk but the sounds had forgotten how to become words.

"In case you think your day can't get any worse," I unlocked my attaché case, "I have something for you." On top of the stack of business papers was a document with Petition for Dissolution or Marriage in bold across the top.

I handed a copy to Connie. She started making strange gasping noises.

"I hope he was worth it. Now get out of my face. You disgust me."