Heroine Addiction

Part 2 of 4. All parts written.

Heroine Addiction

Part 2

Barry

I don't remember how I got there, but I was filling my vehicle with gas because I'd driven so long it was almost out. I looked up my location. I was now an hour away from my wife's sister's house, which meant I was two hours away from my wife. And I don't think I got there the most direct way either. I decided to pay sis-in-law a visit.

Knocking on her door with donuts and coffee at 6 am on a Sunday morning was going to add an unusual chapter to the family scrapbook.

Betty opened the door tired, confused, and a little angry. Perplexity replaced them all as she saw it was me.

"Barry!?" What the...? Oh, just thank God you're alright," her demeanor changed as she gathered her thoughts. She stopped to look at me again, "You are alright, aren't you?"

I hesitated. I know it was a minute before I could control my face. Incredible sadness seemed to seize me before I could reign my emotions in. She looked at me with pity, which allowed my anger to resurface and take over. Watching my response, just made Betty's expression grow stronger in reaction.

"Come on in. Tom will be down soon," Betty took my hand and led me to a chair in the kitchen taking the coffee and donuts away from me as she started to gather the items we needed to partake. That was confusing as everything we needed was in the bag, I'm not sure why she placed out her own things. I guess women just want what they want. I suddenly felt sympathetic fear for the unused condiments and paper cups in the bag she planned to discard. It seemed they and I shared a common fate. I reached out and gathered them back to me. They were now my soul mates.

I finally responded to Betty stating her husband, Tom, would soon be down, "Good, I think it'd be best if you were both here at the same time." I must have sounded like the State Trooper at the front door telling the family members of the traffic accident that had taken the life of their loved one. Betty went stiff and chewed on her lip.

She surveyed the two bags I now clutched, "You want some donuts and coffee, Barry?" Betty asked quizzically.

"No. I got into town around three hours ago. I've been camped out at a waffle house. I'm stuffed. I just kept ordering so I could keep my table. I knew I was going to get you up early so I brought a peace offering." Pointing out my offerings I bobbed my forehead at the donuts, then sympathetically towards the bundles in my protecting arms, drawing a confused look from my sister-in-law.

"Barry what is it?" She asked, concern written across her face.

"Well, this may be the last time I barge into your home at 6 am on a Sunday with coffee and donuts." I wasn't sure that sounded as negative as I intended.

"I hope so," Tom's happy voice sounded from the doorway as he walked into the kitchen. He took one look at me and his jovial air evaporated.

Betty saw my resolution sag and jumped in to prop me up, "Oh, damn it, Berry, don't think like that! Tom's kidding! You're welcome to barge in on us every Sunday morning the rest of our lives," my wife's sister quickly added. Tom was alarmed by the offer but knew to keep silent.

He headed over to the disposable paper condiments I brought. He smiled and took the bags from my clenched fists, he seemed to treat them gently. I felt I had met a kindred soul. God bless him, Tom used them to make himself a cup of coffee.

"Why are you using those? We have nice cups and mugs." Inquired Betty knowing she'd stumbled onto one of those rare glimpses into how the other gender actually thinks.

"And now we don't have to wash them." Tom replied as jovially as a man could, pre coffee at six AM on a Sunday morning.

"You would really use those over our mugs?" Betty asked petulantly knowing Tom was a mug man: another gender difference. Then she added, "I was going to throw them away."

"Throw them away? Before you use them? What's the point in that?" Tom asked more alarmed by this news than the offer to have me over every Sunday and six AM.

Betty seemed to come up a little short on that one.

"Tom, someone else manufacturing trash doesn't make it my moral imperative to use it."

"No, but to litter spuriously is, well, moral turpitude, n'est pas?"

I thought that was an outstanding rebuttal, especially for a Sunday morning, coffee or not.

Betty was still thinking it through. She'd boxed herself in, what was she going to do, argue the positive points of non-spurious littering? Tom was happy, he seemed to have won a debate for a change.

"Don't throw them away, honey, they're perfectly good." Tom saw Betty was uneasy about the entire subject now. He tried to back pedal, "I'll take them to my office. We'll use them there if you don't want them." I was buoyed! I was simpatico with the poor unloved, unwanted paper cups and condiments. Why should they be deemed evil merely for the crime of being unloved? Tom had redeemed me. My beautiful wife might not love me anymore, but I could still do good for someone.

Tom looked at his wife's growing frown. In her mind she could see Tom recounting the discussion to all his co-workers and telling them how he won this argument with his wife and saved the planet from her selfish slothfulness. Maybe the other women there would be swayed. Dear Lord, by this time next year everyone could be using paper cups! Her face had become sour.

Tom couldn't read her mind, but he could sure read her expression. "You're right, Betty. I'll ditch them, they'll just clutter things up and get in the way." He threw the bag across the room into the trash bin pretending to be a sportscaster, "He sinks two at the buzzer to win the game!"

He looked at me, "Barry?"

I was forlorn, lost, knee-high to despondent. The paper cup symbolism had painted my worth and my fate. I responded, "Sorry man. I think I was playing for the losing team."

Now anger took over Betty's countenance, "That stupid sister of mine playing hero. I told her! I told her Batman does the clandestine stuff and though he always stops the bad guy he never comes out ahead himself. I mean he never gets the reward. Well, he's a billionaire so that's a bad example, but you know ... he doesn't get the girl or the accolades and ..."

I tried to head her off at the metaphorical pass, "So I have something in common with Batman; I lost the girl!"

Betty was full of compassion, "NOO, that's not true, Barry."

"I don't even have Alfred."

"No listen, it's not that bad."

"I really don't want a Robin."

She stopped, looked at Tom, and they both agreed with me on the Robin thing. Betty then launched with an energy that would have made a Soviet SS 20 blush.

"I told Kari not to do it, I told her it was too risky. Damn it, no matter what the ladies said or thought, you don't play games that can come back to bite your marriage. There are always innocent people in harm's way. Still Barry, you're going to be so happy when you hear, you will ... you will laugh." Betty was trying to sell a product she didn't believe in.

"It's about Lewis, isn't it?"

"Yeah ..." she started explaining taking solace in the small undulations in my shoulders. I, however, had not heard a thing since her acknowledgement. Finally, Tom's voice called softly to his wife "Um Betty ..."

She turned to his voice and followed his eyes back to me, my head bent and softly ...

"Oh my God, you're not laughing; you're crying! Didn't you hear what I said?"

"Not really. Just your confirmation that my wife is having an affair, and not just that, but that her affair is with the most screwed up excuse for a human I ever met. Hell, kangaroos would tear off their pouches if Lewis was a baby marsupial."

That stunned them enough to let me make my way to the door, "No Barry that's not right, what you're thinking about that Lewis guy. What did you hear last?

"You confirmed Kari was having an affair with Lewis."

"NOOO! I didn't say that. I said ..."

"Didn't they meet while I was gone?"

She looked down. She was angry and upset at her sister.

"Haven't they been meeting behind my back?"

She looked away. I also noted Tom's head jerking up in shock. Good, at least he had not betrayed me. Apparently he didn't know either. I focused on the confirmation that my wife was indeed seeing Lewis regularly in secret.

"Damn it. I knew it." It came out of me in a rasping determined whisper.

Betty's head shot back up at her accidental confirmation. She sucked in air, "Y-You didn't know that, did you? Y-You faked me out," she said under her breath. She wasn't angry at me. Bless her, she was concerned that she had just added to my misery.

I think I literally heard Tom strike his forehead, or maybe hers.

They both stopped when I spoke sounding more dead than alive, "I don't know what to do. I know it's over, but I still love her. You know what? I have no idea how I lost her, and especially to him. It's a shock to find out I'm the only person on earth lower than Lewis: the human dog testicle tick."

They both moved their lips apparently trying to make a breeze, but uttered nothing, not knowing which of my comments to address first.

Finally, Betty called to me as I walked back towards my vehicle, "Barry, what are you going to do?" She seemed completely non plussed. She was anxious to know what was going on in my head.

"It's only another hour to my folks house from here. What a loser I am. My marriage is in tatters. At my age you'd think I'm too young for things to have gone this wrong this quickly. At the same time I feel too old to go to my folks looking for basic life advice. But hell, I have no rudder by which to steer my course, maybe they can set me in the right direction."

This was subterfuge. I knew Betty could be played now. It was classic misdirection. It was very Batman-esque. When they figured out what I was doing poor Tom would be dizzy from striking his forehead. It was Sunday and back home there was going to be a party tonight at one of our friends houses astride the large nearby park where they were holding the summer concert series. If my wife went to the party while the two of us were facing off like this, especially if she then went to the verdant park with its large ramate trees, shrubs, and vines, where it was easy to get lost on purpose for romantic reasons, I would have proof positive I'd lost her.

Lots of necking took place in the over-lush foliage along the paths in the park. All you had to do was push through a wall of foliage a yard or so and you were completely obscured from the walking path. If my wife went, I'd follow her and catch them red handed. There was no use putting it off. I told myself I could rid the world of Virus Lewis before uncorking my own spirit from the mortal coil.

I was at or below Lewis' level according to my wife by virtue of her choosing him over me. Thus, she handcuffed me to the dog testicle tick. My removing the two lowest examples of our species from the gene pool could only be seen as an act of good will to my brethren humanity; a lovely parting gift. Never tell me I don't have a good attitude!

* * * * *

Kari

Kari walked around the dark lonely house. She would have opened the curtains except the darkness matched her mood. She wanted no part of the bright cheery day outside. After the conversation she just had with her sister if there'd been a tornado warning she would've climbed atop the roof.

Oh, what had she done? She'd give up the whole thing if only Barry was here. He wasn't. What would Barry council her to do? She was so wounded, she doubted she could think it through well enough in her present state.

Kari had talked to herself about it all day. Barry had to come first. This whole blow-up never should've happened. She was sure Barry would've understood that she had a job to do, a mission to fulfill, and so she needed to do it. Then everyone could move on with life, she and Barry moving on together, of course. But there was never supposed to be a break, she was supposed to be with Barry the entire time. She hadn't meant to put her marriage on hold. She hadn't meant to dent it, heck, to even scratch it.

She knew she'd handled her actions very poorly. But if she'd asked Barry, he wouldn't have allowed her actions. He would've said her duty was to her marriage before any other. What could she have done differently? Maybe she could have enlisted a couple of the neighborhood husbands, maybe they could've framed it in a way Barry would have understood. On reflection, further male involvement might have made matters worse.

'Wait,' she told herself, 'I'm missing the point. I didn't ask Barry because he most likely would have said "no". Instead of taking 'no' for an answer, I did exactly what Barry said: I didn't ask the question. With that decision I cut him out of everything and de facto started sneaking around on him, doing things behind his back. I AM guilty of half of what he thinks. He caught me doing it. Except, I'm doing it for a different reason than he believes.

So why the hell did I want this so badly that I kept it from my husband? That's the problem. Even beyond the physical behavior was my decision to do something and keep it from my husband who I love dearly. Worse, I kept it from him because he wouldn't allow it. And now I've set off a cascade of questions about me and my motivations in his head starting with: "if she loves me why would she hide anything from me?"

I can't answer that question except the same way Barry did: because I apparently wanted this enough to risk damaging my relationship with Barry. I know that's wrong, but even if I came out with the complete answer, he won't believe it. Worse, even if he did believe me, it still falls far short of the level needed to risk my marriage. And that's the fundamental problem.

I never took the time I'm spending with Lewis as serious. Because of the subterfuge, when Barry found out he thought it was something it isn't. Thinking what he thinks, it also felt to him like it was life and death.

I just wanted to be a big shot with my neighbors, with the ladies I hang out with. I wanted the same sort of sophomoric relations I had in schools with the girls that Barry saved me from. Why in the world did I want to feel a part of that dynamic again? Or was it that when you put a part of yourself aside, even bury it, perhaps some of it never dies. I don't think I went looking for it, but perhaps that dormant side of me saw the conditions under which it could be revived, and the rest of me saw it as a one-time thing that would be ... what, a going away present, or a controlled forest burn to prevent a full-on fire, like using methadone to stop heroin addiction? Except in my case, I started the methadone before having tried heroin. What was I thinking?

My problem is Barry's not going to believe me, or what the girls say, now. He won't believe us, to him my behavior is already damning. So how do I win him back? I know if he gave me a chance in the long run I could convince him, but he's already gone. And my sister thinks it's bad. Betty was so mad at me and so heartbroken for Barry that she was even mad that I wasn't heartbroken enough! Tom told her I was probably in shock. I think he's right. I feel like I'm not me, like I'm wearing a bad costume of me instead.

Barry says actions speak louder than words. If only ... my God, that's it!

No Kari, that's the dumbest thing you could do.

But I can't get Barry to believe me, I have to show him, and I can!

Wait girl, this is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire.

But I have to do something, I can't just lose him this way: not with a whimper. Barry is the best: if I'm going down it's going to be fighting for him. If I go through with my plan with Lewis and finish it, then I can show Barry it's finished. I won't need corroboration as the deeds and the results will speak for themselves!

But Barry has forbidden me to see Lewis. And Barry has already left me, no phone call, no nothing, he's left me. I have to have something ready to present to him when I find him. I need to end this with Lewis and then go find Barry, then he'll see the truth plain enough. I can't go back in time and never start, but I can finish strong!

Okay Barry, I'm about to do something stupid, but it's for you baby. Lewis will never know what hit him!

* * * * *

Kari

Kari walked around the side of the house into her friend, Phyllis', huge fenced in backyard. Phyllis and her husband Jack's home was at the end of the street adjacent to the park. The lot had seams of granite running underneath making it unsuitable to build another house next door making theirs a double parcel. Some of the other neighborhood couples were there, most of the wives, but few of the husbands yet. Kari was able to catch Phyllis with few others around. Phyllis explained in unnecessarily hushed tones that since the night Barry called the husbands, her hubby had her on a very short leash.

"I'm so sorry, Phyllis."

"Oh, we'll get past it. Once you finish our plan our husbands will get in line again."

"Yeah. I pray I can show my husband what he needs to see. I swear I've never been intimate with Lewis. My dear Barry doesn't understand what we were trying to do. I doubt he'd believe me at this point. Are you guys going the concert tonight?"

"No. It's that short leash. Barry made it sound like we have a cheaters coven to my husband. I'm telling myself that I made this mess myself and I should be thankful my hubby loves me enough to be this upset. I can imagine you're beside yourself, Kari. Damn it, this all seems so out of proportion to what it was supposed to be. We only wanted to do something good."

"Yeah, but as it involved being close with another man I kept it from my husband. Barry doesn't know what we were trying to achieve, he doesn't even know that part exists! The simplest answer is most often correct. What Barry saw my getting closer to another man and keeping it from him. That's a tired old sorry story, except it isn't MY story. But why should Barry believe I'm an exception to the rule? He doesn't have an inkling that this is anything other than my having been seduced. I mean I was getting closer to another man, though my motivation wasn't what my poor husband thinks at all! What he thinks is wrong, although I can see why he thinks it. It's diabolical."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I fear it's like a bad detective movie: the only way the detective can prove he was framed is to break the rules to catch the person who incriminated him, even though it will make him look guiltier until he proves his innocence."

"My Gosh, I think they even used that plot line on the Partridge Family once. Kari, do you really want to risk your love on Danny Bonaduce?"

"No. No, gosh no, but I'm still in the same boat until I do something. Barry's left me and it's up to me to prove my innocence. I don't see that I have any options, it feels more like the executioner's axe is raising and I have to squirm off the stump before the blade falls. So, will you guys be at the concert series tonight? If you are I'm scared your husband will see me with Lewis and call my husband. If Barry hears about my being with him before I'm finished with Lewis, then my marriage to Barry will be finished too!"

"No, we aren't going. Frankly, I think I'm in for a long night of cock sucking." She stopped and looked right at her injured friend, "I know I made that sound bad. I also know what it will start, and I sure won't be complaining later. Still, it's scary when you get in trouble for doing something you thought was good. I've tried to explain that, and your resulting plight, to my husband, that's a non-starter right now. I'm so sorry for you; your spot is so much worse than mine. I mean, at this point you don't even have a cock you can suck to gain brownie points. At some point all the ladies will stand up to tell the tale, right now, however, we have no credibility. It's awful. Besides your precarious situation, your poor husband is suffering too. So, I plan on putting my all into my offerings tonight, in the hopes I'll gain back enough credibility to at least convince Jack things with you aren't what they seem. I pray he'll then intervene with Barry on your behalf. I'm sorry, it's all I can do right now."