Her Roommate Leaves & She Follows

Here's my ending version of

Her Roommate Returns

by Odiouser. The fact that I had any thoughts at all has gotten me excited. Greenday0418

*****

He glanced back at me and said, "Sorry man, you heard me trying to give you some say in events, but I am taking orders from a different voice, and it looks like I am going to be seriously fucking your hot wife."

Knowing he was right and that Angie would certainly have the final say I could only respond, "Clearly."

My wife took Clark by the belt and led him into the nearest doorway. "I was going to take you to the master bedroom so my husband could watch us play catch-up, but I realize that we are going to be at it for hours after his bedtime, so I think the politest thing to do would be fuck around on him elsewhere. Do you agree Davie boy?"

"Of course my dear."

IF ANY WRITERS WISH TO TAKE A SHOT AT RESOLUTION, YOU HAVE MY HEARTY APPROVAL TO DO IT. ODIOUSER

*****I

"Ang, before you leave, could I speak to you in the kitchen?"

"Okay, but I'm not changing my mind, so don't try to talk me out of it."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Ang."

"Clark, the guest room is at the end of the hall. I'll be back as quick as I can."

"Sure, Babe, hurry up and bring that hot body back to me."

I escorted Angie into the kitchen, where I picked up her purse, removed her cell phone, and took her apartment key off her key fob with her car keys. Before she could say anything, we were out the door, and I was pushing her toward the stairs.

We lived on the second floor, and I walked her through the lobby door to her car at the back of the lot. Handing her the purse, I explained her role in the rest of this one-act tragedy, "Angie, go to your mother's house and stay there tonight. Do not return here until after 10 AM tomorrow. I have your cell phone, and if you stop somewhere and call Clark, I will cripple him for life, and you'll never get his cock again."

"Dave, why are you acting this...."

"Shut your Clark sucking mouth because you've never sucked mine. Now get the hell out of here and remember, if his phone rings say goodbye to Clark's dick."

She pouted, stomped her foot, threw herself behind the wheel, and burned rubber out of the parking lot after stalling the car.

Shaking my head, I turned off her phone and stuck it in my left pocket. Walking back inside and up to my apartment, Clark was sitting on the couch, looking confused.

"What happened? Where's Angie? What did you do to her?"

"Calm down Clark. It was her decision to leave; she gave me the signal to get rid of you and went to her mother's house. Before I explain anything else, can I ask you a question?"

"You didn't hurt her?"

"No, I'm not a violent man."

"Ask me your question."

"When you graduated together, why didn't you get engaged and marry each other?"

"My parents are quite rich, and both of them hated her. They made me agree to work for my dad's company on the other side of the country for two years without contacting Angie. If I still wanted to marry her at the end of that time, they would foot the bill for the wedding and welcome her to the family. After many tears were shed, we agreed and separated two years and three days ago."

"Damn, Clark, you would think she wouldn't get married during that two years if she didn't love the guy she hooked up with."

He looked pretty sad, and I almost felt guilty fucking with him, but I got over it.

"Anyway, Angie told me all about you after we started dating. She was the one who wanted to get married (That was true), and she was worried that you would show up and screw things up for us, so we came up with a signal which was her calling me Davie boy. That meant she wanted to get the hell out of here."

"Nah, no way. She was all over me and couldn't wait to sit on my cock."

"Are you extra-large, like 8 inches or more?"

"No, I'm only 6 1/2 inches, but I can go a long time."

"That's why she wanted to leave; she's become a size queen and tells me I've hit places in her cunt that you've never reached. Sorry, Clark, she should've been honest with you. Would you like something to drink, and I'll tell you about our sex life."

"Yea, but maybe I should call her."

"Go ahead."

He fumbled with his phone and threw it on the floor when he received a computer message.

"She turned it off, that bitch."

"Hey, have you ever tried single malt whiskey?"

"Glenlivet?"

"Yup, I have a 25-year-old bottle given to us as a wedding present. Angie hates the taste, so it would be nice to share it with another connoisseur."

I fetched the box with the bottle from my closet floor and brought it back into the kitchen. As I opened it, I told Clark a made-up story about having sex on our first date.

"We were dancing at a bar, and she reached over and patted her hand on my crotch just like she did to you earlier, only when she felt what I had in there, she was running her fingers up and down trying to figure out how long I was. When the dance was over, she grabbed my hand, dragged me next door to a motel, and got a room. I didn't think it was possible, but she outlasted me, and I surrendered around 4 AM; oops, there goes the cork."

I filled two whiskey glasses and asked him if he wanted any water to add to his drink.

"No, my grandfather would be mighty upset with me if he found out I was watering down his favorite single malt."

"Well, since you drank all that wine with Angie, you can only have one glass, so drink slowly."

We both took sips, and I have to admit, it was pretty smooth. I took another sip, and Clark took a pretty big swallow. This is going to be so much fun.

"So, did you score with Angie on the first night you roomed together?"

"Hell no, it took me almost a month to get in her pants, and she wasn't even a virgin."

"I asked you that question because Angie told me about a guy; she didn't say if they were in high school or college, who was in heat after her body, and she kept putting him off. Finally, she gave in, and the guy was so inept that he didn't even last 10 minutes the first time, and she had to fake an orgasm."

That was a guess on my part because the first time Angie and I had sex, I didn't last 10 minutes, and I was positive she was faking.

"Shit," was all he said, and he took another swallow.

So we shared that bottle while telling stories about Angie, and he finished his drink before putting his glass down and saying he had to leave. I tried to talk him out of it because he had drunk so much wine earlier, but he insisted he felt okay.

As I walked him to his car, I went for the kill, "Clark, did she tell you she's pregnant?"

His head dropped, and after he got behind the wheel, he leaned forward and banged his forehead on the steering wheel, then started the car and slowly drove out of the parking lot.

"That's why you drink single malt slowly instead of gulping it down like horse piss in a bottle."

As I walked back to my apartment, I thought, 'that went well.' When I got back into my apartment, I saw his phone sitting on the floor under the end table in the living room corner.

I put his sim card in the garbage disposal and his cell phone in my trash to be taken out tomorrow morning.

I hid Angie's phone in my briefcase with Clark's battery, locked it, and went to bed.

*****

A jackhammer in my living room woke me up, but I realized someone was pounding on my door after I fell out of bed. I staggered down the hallway and noticed it was almost 10 o'clock. That made me giggle as I remembered what took place last night. I opened the door and was greeted by the smiling faces of Angie and her parents.

"Top of the morning to you. It's a wonderful day, isn't it, and most certainly is the first day of the rest of my life. Isn't that the truth, Ang, my darling?"

Her father started yelling in my right ear, and her mother's shrill voice filled my left ear, but I stopped their screams directed at me after about 20 seconds.

"Quiet," I said politely, but they ignored me.

So I screamed, "SHUT THE FUCK UP," in the loudest voice I had left, and both mouths slammed shut.

"Ang, do you really want to do this in front of your parents? I don't mind, and I remember everything you said last night, and I have total recall about what Clark told me, so if you'd like to include them in this conversation...."

"Mom, Dad. Go out to the truck and go to breakfast. David and I need to converse."

Both her parents started questioning her simultaneously, so she had to raise her voice to shut them up and get them to leave.

After they were gone, I invited Angie to sit on the leather sofa she bought, and I sat in my recliner.

"Ang, why did you marry me?" She hated being called Ang.

When she didn't respond immediately, I asked, "After hearing Clark talk about your relationship and the agreement he made with his parents, we could've just lived together and shared expenses. With the two years over, you could leave, marry Clark and live happily ever after. I could accept that, but you had to get married to me. Did you do that so he could fuck me over in a divorce?"

"David, I love you. How can you accuse...?"

"Stop the bullshit, Clark told me everything, and I told him the same, although I may have embellished a few things. Anyway, we're done. Clark left undamaged about two hours after you left, and you need to get some help to move out of my apartment. I'm moving out and leaving town. I have my cell phone that I let you use on my plan, and I'll turn it in and cancel your number. Don't fight the divorce, and I'll be fair."

After a few minutes of silence, I asked, "Anything else you'd like to say that isn't pure horseshit?"

"Can I take some of my clothes and makeup with me?"

"Sure, you know where the suitcases are."

An hour later, I carried her two suitcases down to her father's suburban, which was pulling up to the front of our building. I waved bye-bye as they drove away.

I took off a week, met with a lawyer, canceled her cell phone, and gave a 30-day notice to my landlord. Then I gave my stamp store to my helpers to run since all the stamps were on consignment, and I had very little money tied up in the store. I made a profit by charging a seller's fee on every sale.

I was young, dumb, and physically in fairly good shape, so I thought I might fulfill my childhood dream and enlist in the United States Marine Corps.

Epilogue

I called Angie at work the day before I moved out of the apartment to tell her she could have everything I left behind: all the furniture, linens, dishes, and kitchen utensils. She started screaming at me, and I gathered from the few words I understood that Clark had been arrested that night for DUI and spent the weekend in jail. He bailed out on Monday and returned home without calling Angie. She found out what happened when she called him at his parents' house because his cell phone number was no longer in use. Before she could explain what happened, Clark told her he never wanted to see her again and hung up.

"That's what karma is all about, babe. Maybe you'll grow up and get your 'happily ever after' on your third try."

I hung up, thinking I was glad I had only wasted two years of my life. Maybe after I graduate from boot camp, I can use my thirty days' leave, visit a Polynesian archipelago, and meet a single woman. I've heard the women are gorgeous.

*****