Her Ghosts

Bobbie finds his place. Chloe makes a break-thru, maybe, and gets a new but strange friend.

Ending not yet written.

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Chapter 3

I am at the park, at the place where Chloe and I always go, 'The Bench' as we call it. It sets across from the cemetery, Park View. I am in a haze about a lot of things and need to think. The memories I keep getting, I need to piece together. They're like pictures scattered across a floor all jumbled up.

I was at work walking to my desk, waved to some coworkers. They didn't actually acknowledge me and when I was almost in view of my desk, I get a blank spot. To think of it I don't recall walking or driving to the park. I am just here.

I need to calm myself and meditate here in my thoughts, to collect them.

Did I see Chloe having sex with another man in our bed? That can't be right, I am positive she would not do something like that to me. I must be hallucinating, we love each other too much. Why would I even have that thought?

So I begin recalling memories, of the past and present, of mom and dad, and other things.

The past was not hard to see but the present seems hazy, clouded, at times blank. I remember her crying, like she did when Mom and Pops died, maybe even more and harder. But, I don't remember who! Then I recall her saying 'Stay with me Bobbie, stay with me! You can not leave me.' in a horrified voice, then a blank.

Why would she say that and why would I leave her?

Now, Chloe and I are in the den at home, it appears to be Thanksgiving time. That is a hard time for us since we don't have mom and dad with us anymore. Chloe looks miserable so I go to hold her. Has I start to wrap my arms around her, she looks at me with wide eyes, like she is scared, confused. Then that damn blank spot again, like photos missing in an album.

I'm trying to put the pieces together. I was at work, I saw Chloe with another man? She is crying asking me to stay, we are in the den she looks scared and confused. I am not liking these memories.

This is all so confusing, I finally seem to lock on a long past short memory.

Chloe and I will come here often hand in hand, to just enjoy the peace and serenity of nature, to just talk. We enjoy the breezes that come through and carry the leaves from this time of year. The gold yellows and crisp reds and shades of orange. We would watch them tumble across the ground over the still green grass in the afternoon sun and marvel at their beauty.

I let my memories rest and just enjoy this place for a short while.

I am looking across the quiet street now at the cemetery where mom and dad, my parents, now rest. I'm thinking, it is a very nice peaceful place much like an extension of the park. I suppose if it wasn't for the head stones it would be a park. Then the next memory flashes in to view of mom and dad.

That tragedy happened few years ago. That night the weather had changed and it was very cool for late October. The windows were shut and the house was a tightly sealed house where my parents lived.

They passed in their sleep, cuddled together like love birds, from carbon monoxide. The inspector said the furnace plenum had cracked and the crack opened up wider from the furnace not operating properly. It must have run a long time.

Mom and dad knew it was faulty and had installed carbon monoxide detectors the previous late heating season before. Chloe and I told them they should come stay with us for a few nights. Mom and dad declined and said they had it under control, the repairmen were coming in the next couple of days. 'Besides the detectors have never gone off' dad told us.

They didn't think the weather would cool that much for a few weeks more. Why they didn't take care of it sooner, only they know. We let it go thinking that it had been repaired or replaced. Then tragedy struck, the thermostat was set on AUTO, not A/C only.

Their Will was read later after every thing calmed back to normal, or the new

normal. I was their only child so every thing came to me, and Chloe. They must have planned well, there was a good monetary sum. It was designated for college funds, for three grand children. No grand children, then it went to our retirements. We were trying but that had not happened yet.

Mom and dad had previously bought spaces in Park View which I knew. What I didn't know was that they had bought four spaces, two, designated for Chloe and me. I thought that a bit strange back then.

Mom and dad's sudden death hit us really hard, Chloe maybe harder. She was even in counseling and therapy for a few times to help cope with their deaths. She told me awhile after that she thought she saw them in our den, smiling to her. She thinks they were telling her it was alright, and to live life with love and joy. I humored her asking for me detail. Chloe didn't elaborate to much more only that she felt their love in the house and the 'Force' was with us.

She came out of her depressed mood rather quickly after that. I had never realized how much she loved and cared about Mom and Pops, has she liked to call them, or the idea how much she needed them in her life, until their passing.

I am not much of a believer in the afterlife or the other side, if you will. But Chloe, I think she does believe. Now mom and dad, they believed in something after death. Whether it was from religious up bringing or what, I don't really know. I guess because of the way I see things they just called it, the 'Force'. Something they had gotten from a movie. They believed that everything is connected some way in the universe. I would taunt them sometimes asking if they were using Jedi mind tricks on us, just for a chuckle.

Now, they could always tell when things weren't going well with Chloe and me. If Chloe, or I, were upset about something one of us had done or social events that didn't go according to plan, they would mention it. It was their Jedi mind tricks.

I asked mom one time about that and she would just say to me with a smile.

'There was a ripple in the Force'.

My thoughts drifted to another memory, an important memory to me, that still puzzles me about mom.

Once I caught Chloe flirting heavily with male co-workers at a company barbecue and swim party. She really wasn't trying to hide her flirting. I got pissed, and we left early. When we got home Chloe lit in to me, she had even bought a new bikini swim suit for the party. Well, I said things, she said things back, and so on.

I went to mom and dad's house to cool off and just kinda of plopped in to a kitchen chair after the normal greetings. I didn't mention a word about what was going on and my mother just spoke out in a even motherly tone, after handing me a whiskey. Right out of the blue, as they say.

"She is not cheating on you, she is not having an affair and your being a jealous ass."

After chastising me she picked up the phone and made a call, to Chloe. I am going, 'What the fuck! How did she know'.

"Chloe dear, this is Mom... Yes, Bobbie..., the asshole, is here." she chuckled and added. "I want you to talk to Pops about facts of life... okay, then marriage facts of life. While I explain some more, marriage facts of life to your husband."

With that she handed dad the phone and he went to the other room while mom explained some things to me, to bring me back to the light side of the 'Force'. Dad in turn explained some things, to Chloe. Mom made me tell what was going on with us, and shared it with dad to educate the the two us.

She told me young women do things like that, to feel attractive, to feel desirable. It's like a pride builder to her spirit, that she has still 'got it'. It is kind of like a nature thing, us women do, and men also do. She also expected you to step in and fend them off, to make her stop.

It made sense to me then, because I had done the same thing a time or two. I remember Chloe chasing those women away then, when mom told me that.

She was teaching me. Even telling me that they had crossed that bridge. She told me she had been the jealous asshole at that time.

I laughed, I couldn't picture mom being the asshole type. 'It's not funny' she stated, then chuckled, then laughed with me. After all the explaining and teaching Mom took my hand and said.

"She never will cheat on you or leave you, son. You two will grow old together."

I took that has a truthful fact, mom just seemed to know these things and is rarely wrong. Chloe and I seemed to bond even more tightly after that.

I was sitting there on 'The Bench' reminiscing that, when I noticed a younger couple walking toward me. I was just thinking of visiting mom and dad, when I heard.

"Oh!, look, there is a bench, maybe we can sit for awhile."

I remembered that is what Chloie said when it became 'The Bench' for us.

I got up and headed to the cemetery. I waved and told them it was all theirs, but I didn't get a response. They just came over and sat down and cuddled up close. Strange I thought and may be a bit rude.

I was just about to my parents resting place when I turned to look back at the park, another memory flash.

I asked mom and dad once why these spaces and they shocked me with the answer.

"That way we can look over the park and the people... and you and Chloeie."

I never understood them at times, just accepted what they said. I turned and approached the head stones, knelt down in the cool grass and let memories roll. Then I spoke to mom, I had to tell her what I thought was going on now.

"I think you were wrong this time mom, I saw..."

I heard some one speak to me, I turned to look, no one was there, then again.

"Help her... Help her... ."

I looked again then thought 'What the fuck', it sounded like mom, then it came again, only in a deeper voice, like dad's

"Help you...let her go.."

I looked around again, no one was there, but my eyes caught some thing. I focused in on the right of mom's head stone. There was a marker! I read in anguish, despair, and fear!

'Robert J. Anderson. Born June 7-1967 Deceased October 31-1997'.

It was me! I was no longer among the living. I screamed. There was a sudden flash, a feeling of soaring, of being catapulted some where!

Chapter 4

Sitting in Starbucks by the window sipping at a latte, I am thinking about what my therapist was trying to explain and guide me on. I had went to her because of the last night I spent with John, a week ago now. My event and the feelings I have for him. I also needed to come to grips with what transpired in the her office today. I was thinking to myself, 'Chloe get a grip on this, you're not like that'.

I began to think first, about when I first met John. I had met John at a party that one of our friends had a year after Bobbie left me. I was feeling setup for some reason, and I was, as far has I could tell. Which wasn't new to me, our other married friends had tried the same thing. I hadn't really spoke to Bev and Tom much in the past year. She insisted I come to the party and socialize a bit.

"You can always leave and I would love to see you." She said, so I went. I dressed nicely but nothing over the top. My attire was more casual business look instead of, I am on the hunt sexy look. I just couldn't make myself go there.

I arrived at the party, more like a get together, seeing there was another married couple I knew. There was a couple of single ladies and men who I think worked with Bev and Tom.

Bev introduced me to John, who I must say is quite handsome, just like Bobbie. We chit chatted for awhile, him more than me. I was feeling a bit awkward, when he told me Bev had filled him in some what about me. Now I was feeling anxious and didn't know what to say. What did Bev tell him, and how much? I was thinking of leaving this little get together. It was becoming to much for me to handle, still, at this time. Then he said something that I thought was rather sweet and charming.

"Look, there is something I like about you, Chloe. I would like to be your friend if you will allow me too." John said very gentlemanly.

"What? Friends with benefits." I quipped back. Why I said that I have know idea. Self defense maybe or a self protection boundary. I was still being anti-social, except for work, still a year later.

John laughed at me and said, "No, just a friend, . No 'with benefits', just a friend. Unless you have other male friends in your life, then I humbly bow out."

"That sir is none of your business, if I do or don't." I said curtly. I don't, and I am sure he knew that thanks to Bev.

It was the his resounding 'No with benefits' I think that hooked me.

"Just a dinner or two, maybe a movie. Just to get out and be social. Truth be told I do not get out much myself." John added.

I told him maybe, then gave him my phone number knowing I could always block it. I was trying to be nice John, he seemed sweet and genuine, like Bobbie.

That is how John and I met, two weeks later he called me and asked if I would go to dinner with him and I accepted. He even allowed me to choose the restaurant and our relationship started.

We had the first dinner and he took me home, at the door we hugged. He kissed my forehead telling me how much he enjoyed the evening and left. It was like a brother would do, or a very cautious man.

I did talk to Bev, after that date, about John and found some things out. He, like me, had is world ripped a part. He was engaged to be married once, when a week before the wedding his fiance just left. No explanation, nothing, just gone. Leaving the ring behind and disappearing. Ever since then he shut his self in and had large trust issues with women.

We had grown into a no strings attached, close friends type couple, exclusive at least for me, for John I don't know and didn't ask, yet. I only knew I was beginning to care a lot for him as a close and dear friend or more. I hoped he was feeling the same way and was trusting me with those feelings.

But my main, 'come to grips with', was the session I had today with my therapist. The 'event' thing never really was talked about much this time.

I like Dr. Stone. She seems to genuinely care about me for some reason, I feel.

"Ms. Anderson come on in and we will get started." Dr. Stone called out.

The session began as usual talk and drifted into my talking about John and his spending the night. Which was not new news to Dr. Stone. She had heard it all before and knew we had sex. She asked about how that was going and how I felt about it.

I told her it was getting easier and better and this last time seemed to be the best, but, there was a hiccup. I told her at on point he was going to leave and I begged him to stay, that I needed him to stay, I wanted him to stay with me, and.. that I loved him.

"Why was John going to leave Chloe?" Liz asked, raising her brow.

"Well..." I hesitated telling her.

I paused and drew a breath in trying to tell her. I didn't want her thinking I was relapsing back to before, when many people thought I was looney-toons for awhile. She looked at me, trying to pierce into my thoughts. She knew of my ghosts, and that I had talked to them in my deep depression states.

"Take a minute, I will be right back." She said, rose and went to the door, telling her receptionist to postpone the next sessions for an hour or two.

Our sessions, had come down to thirty minute sessions, kind of like check-up sessions and prescription re-orders. I began feeling I was back to long sessions when she did that.

Dr.Stone and I had become friends so to speak. She was like a friend I could tell things to, to let it out and it would go no further. It felt like we were more than just doctor patient for some reason.

Liz stepped back in and over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder looking down at me. I looked up at her with my eyes misty from fear and emotion.

"Okay, can you talk about it now Chloeie." she spoke soothingly.

"I don't know if I can or want too."

Liz gave it just a minute before speaking.

"Let's start from the beginning then, are you at home?"

"Yes, we are at our.. my house, in the den. We had just gotten back from a lovely dinner." I stopped there, damn it, that tiny little slip-up.

After a minute she spoke again, leaving my slip-up alone.

"Okay, lets try some thing different then." Liz said calmly. "Your in the den. Where are you sitting?"

"We are sitting on the couch next to each other his arm around me, my head on his shoulder."

"And?" Liz queried.

She was having to pry the information from me.

"I got up to get us some..."

"Stop" Liz commanded startling me. "Go sit on the couch, right where John would have been sitting."

Liz had gotten to know me well and knew when I was avoiding things. I got up and walked over to the over stuffed brushed leather sofa. I sat down in the position where John had sat, just slightly away from the arm rest.

"Okay, we will try some role playing then. You are now John, and I will be you." She explained.

I felt, she was thinking she was going to have to take some drastic measures to pry it out of me. I didn't know how drastic it would be.

"But first tell me how the sex has been." She smiled, knowing we had been intimate.

"Uh.. Uh okay, good I guess." I told her. Our relationship wasn't what you would call sex driven. It was a bit cool, but not totally frigid, I don't believe.

"How was it, on a scale of one to ten?" Liz asked me.

I sat there a moment. "I would say four, maybe..".

"But that is because I get nervous, anxious." I said quickly after.

Okay, saying that made it seem it is a bit cold. Trying to explain myself out this question.

"Bobbie is..." I caught myself again. "Was the only man I have had sex with, until John."

Liz came over and sat down close to me, taking my arm and putting it around her and placing her head on my shoulder.

"Now what did I, Chloe, do next? This?"

She took her hand and put on my cheek very unexpectedly turning my head. Then placed a full mouth kiss on my lips. Her tongue parted my lips and swirled into my mouth. That is what I did that night.

I pulled back, I have never been kissed like that by a woman and didn't know what to think just then.

"Go with it. You are John, nothing to fear." she stated soothingly. She kissed me heavily again, but this time I was feeling aroused. For some strange reason, I let her kiss me.

"I need a glass of wine John, what about you?" she said abruptly, as she got up and went to a cabinet.

I was stunned for a second. "Uh, uh, small whiskey."

Now I see how John feels when I do that, I even repeated what he said exactly.

Liz came back with the drinks handed me the whiskey, then sipped her wine. I zipped the whiskey and set it side.

"What did I, Chloe, do next?" she asked.

"I..I.. straddled John's lap facing him, Looking at him."

"Just looking at him?" Liz questioned,

"Well, you know with, sex in mind." I smiled slightly.

Liz pulled up her snug skirt and straddled my legs, I could see her pink thin panties as she sat on me. Her shaved mound peeking at me. John had seen the same thing with me. My arousal was growing for some strange reason. My nipples hardened some.

"Next?"

"I took a large swallow of wine, set my stem glass down and kissed him passionately, while unbuttoning his shirt." I almost whispered.

Liz set her glass down and it seemed almost like she attacked. Kissing me hard, deep, with wine covered lips and desire. She quickly unbuttoned my blouse and ran her hands across my bare skin and covered breasts. Then she had my blouse and bra off my shoulders. She sat back panting a bit, stroking from the top of my nipples to my shoulders and back. Like you would do to a mans chest. I am stunned, immobile and staring.

"Next?"

"He.. he.., is pulling my dress top down and removing my bra kissing me back." I whispered out. I was sitting there half naked, shocked, excited, but reluctant to proceed.