Her First Time

Robert and I were leaning against the headboard, the same one that my ex, I guess not so much 'ex'-lover anymore had tried to hammer my head through a few minutes earlier.

Alan left 'to let his dogs go potty' a few minutes earlier. I smiled at that, a man who'd leave the woman he'd just fucked for letting his dogs out couldn't be all bad.

It was a brief respite from my feeling of impending disaster. I was crying, trying to keep the tears wiped off my cheeks and not doing a very good job of it. "I'm so, so sorry," I told my husband, in between the near sobs.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me to him, "Hon? What?"

He still didn't get it. I looked at him, wiping tears off my cheeks, trying to calm myself, "I lied to you, sweetheart. Well, not exactly, but I didn't tell you everything, not nearly."

He lay there, waiting for me to continue.

I wiped another tear from my cheek, "I told you about Alan, but not everything. I didn't tell you how much I loved him. We were going to be married, at least I thought so." I took a deep breath, "It was why I didn't want to tell you about Alan in the first place, our first time. I didn't want to drag out my old memories because I was afraid... of exactly what happened... of what it could do to us, our marriage."

From the look on his face, I thought he was starting to understand, at least a little. I went on with a whisper, "I can't... put what happened back in a bottle, forget that it happened, forget how much I loved Alan..." and I know, my soft whisper, "that I still do."

I wiped away another tear, getting a little strength back that I was finally being honest with Robert, "I thought... that if we just went to dinner... nothing would happen. I tried, I really did. That it'd be okay. We could go home and... everything would be fine. But it's not fine. I can't..."

Robert was starting to understand, his face had turned white, fearing what was coming out of my mouth. So was I.

"I love you. I love our kids and our life together... but, but I can't just go back... and forget."

He was looking down, "So," looked back up at me, "what you're saying, you're going to choose him?"

At that, I burst into tears all over again. When I got myself back in control, "No... I don't know! I just know I can't just leave!" I tried to understand myself, "I... I... want... need... both..."

We lay quiet for the next several minutes. I felt like I needed my husband, "Sweetheart, make love with me?"

He looked toward me with a smile on his face, "Aren't you pretty sore?"

I nodded, "Uhuh, but it's a good sore. I still want you."

He rolled over toward me, we kissed and made slow, lingering love. The kind we'd done hundreds of times, probably thousands, but still special. It proved he still loved me... and I, him.

Next morning, we woke up a little before seven because our flight was at ten and we still needed to talk about what to do, reschedule or be at the airport.

Robert rolled over toward me, supporting his head on his elbow, "Daniella," it's always something important when he calls me 'Daniella'. "You love me, right?"

I nodded, "Of course I do..."

"Then I have a proposal to make. And let me finish before you say anything, even if you think it's crazy, okay?"

He had me more than intrigued, "Ookayy."

He hesitated, like it was something important. I guess it was, to both of us. I just wanted him to spit it out, whatever. "If we stayed and spent another night, it'd be at Alan's, right? And you'd sleep with him, wouldn't you?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that, honestly, I guess, "I... I'd want to... if it was okay with you."

"Then we'd go home Monday?"

I nodded affirmatively. "Absolutely!" No question about it.

"Then, what I suggest is... you stay, I go home. You come home tomorrow."

I looked at him in disbelief, that wasn't what I was expecting. "Love, we're in this together, whatever, we should both..."

He interrupted, "No, maybe we're in it together, but I'd just be an uncomfortable third wheel. You want time with Alan. This way, you won't have to keep looking over your shoulder... and I trust you."

I almost cried at that last, after I'd deceived him about Alan? I started to respond, no idea what to even say, when he held up his hand. "No, I know what you're going to say. And what happened last night was my fault more than yours. I'm the one who insisted on the dress. You were going to wear something simple... but I'm the one... who wanted to see you with him. Why do you think I invited him to our room? To have a drink with us?" He let out a little laugh after that.

"Sweetheart, I can't, I... just... can't."

"Hon, I've been awake nearly all night thinking about this. And you know what conclusion I came to?"

I wiped another tear, "No, what?"

"I know you love me. And despite last night, I don't think any man can come between us. Do you?"

"No, of course not, but..."

"And I'm willing to bet my life on that... our life. I know how badly you really want to do this. And if you're as certain as I am, three's only one way to prove it. But if you're not... and you really could leave me... our family for him, then you have to come home. But... then what?"

I smiled wiping a tear from my eye and I kissed my husband, "Guess we better get you to the airport then, huh." I hugged him tightly, "I love you, you know that?"

I dug Alan's card out of my purse, my fingers shaking with fear and excitement. I hadn't expected what happened last night, but this? No way! The thought of spending the day... and then the night with Alan, just me, alone with him, sent a surge of excitement through me. I closed my eyes, hugging my body, remembering how his body had felt last night, and my pussy was dripping all over again. I giggled at my memory of the morning Alan had first called me 'babygirl'. He'd said I was insatiable. And that's exactly how I felt.

It's not that I didn't want Robert there, I did, sort of. But being alone with Alan was just on a different universe! I remembered how I felt before that homecoming dance when I knew I was going to be Alan's date, how excited I was. How much I'd looked forward to him kissing me.

I just wished that I'd brought some different clothes. The ones I had, except for that dress from last night, were not intended for a romantic day. And I couldn't wear it all day.

I put my daydreaming aside and called the number on Alan's card. But first, before I got sidetracked, I put his number in my contacts. This wasn't going to be the last time I called him, I knew. When he answered, just hearing his voice on the phone sent another thrill through me. My panties were already so wet!

He told me that he'd pick me up at the hotel, just as excited as I was. Robert was already on the phone with the airline to change the reservation and I nudged him, mouthing to him that Alan wanted to pick me up here. He grinned and shook his head as he finished the arrangements with the airline.

When we were both off the phone, he said that was perfect, that I wouldn't be able to go past security at the airport, anyway and he could take the car back.

But I recognized the anguish in his voice. He tried to hide it, but he was hurting, or maybe it was just his jealousy rearing its head. I couldn't imagine what it must be like for him, letting his wife stay alone for what he knew would be an intimate day and night with her ex-lover. That word brought a smile to me, he wasn't 'ex' anymore. He was my lover again.

I know what I should have done, called Alan back, told him I was going home with my husband.

"He said he'd be here in an hour," I told Robert.

"You better hurry and get ready, then."

I saw the look on his face and hugged and kissed him. He was trying to be strong, but on the verge of tears. We've been married twenty-eight years and I know him. "I love you, you know that, don't you?"

He smiled, he didn't want to cry; you know, be the big tough guy who doesn't cry at silly emotions, like I do. I was crying then. "I love you, too," he told me, then kissed me, long and hard.

"I'll be home tomorrow," I told him, then thought I better know, "what time is the reservation for?"

"One-fifteen," he said, "I didn't think you'd want to get up too early. "And it's just to Seattle, I'll meet you there, it'll get in at seven after four." There's a three-hour time difference.

"If he's going to be here in an hour," he looked at his watch, "fifty-five minutes," you'd better get ready. I'll make sure your suitcase is packed."

Forty minutes later I was ready; nervous, excited. Robert was getting ready to go to the airport. When I heard the knock on the door, I went in the bathroom to check on him. "He's here, last chance, you sure?" Robert was brushing his teeth.

He rinsed his mouth, hugged and kissed me, "Guess I don't have to tell you to have fun, do I?"

I wiped a tear from my cheek, kissed him back, smiled, and said, "No, I don't think so."

I closed the door and Alan wheeled my suitcase down the hall to the elevator. My clammy hand was in Alan's down the elevator and out the front door. I was thankful that 'swimsuit girl' wasn't there at the desk. He led me to his truck, a new-looking Ford King Ranch, baby-blue and white two-tone paint. I'd forgotten, but then remembered that blue was Alan's favorite color.

He opened the door for me, rich leather bucket seats. "You've moved up in the truck-world, haven't you?"

"Finances are a little different than high school," he explained. I imagine they were, fourteen years in the NFL, all-pro wide receiver, probably wasn't exactly a minimum wage job.

"Only thing I see wrong is that it isn't a bench seat," I giggled, remembering our make-out sessions in his old Ford. He folded the center console cushion up and voila - a bench seat.

I scooted over and we kissed, taking my breath away. That kiss alone was enough to soak my panties. I still could hardly believe that this was happening. I was alone, in the arms of the man I'd been dreaming about the last several months, our lips pressed tight together.

"Your man must be out of his mind to let you do this," he said.

I smiled at him, "He trusts me," I told him.

"But me, does he trust me?"

I kissed him again, on the lips, shorter this time, "He doesn't need to trust you. He knows what we'll be doing until tomorrow."

"Mmm, and what would that be?" he asked.

"Maybe you can use your imagination, think of something... but the restaurant, don't you have to be there today?"

"The restaurant will be there tomorrow and the next day. I'd gladly give up both for the next twenty-four-hours with you."

That took my breath away, my heart pounding in my chest.

I knew I shouldn't be feeling this way for a man who wasn't my husband but my emotions were a little outside my control at the moment. All I wanted to do with him... I'll let you figure that out.

He rubbed his hand up and down my slacks, "You didn't use to dress this way," he said.

"It's all I brought," not telling him that it was to help keep my libido in control. "You want to take me shopping?" suddenly wanting to be wearing something different with him, sexy, something not from home. I had no more desire to control myself. Matter of fact, I had every intention of losing myself in this man for the day and night.

He started the truck. I loved the rumble of the big diesel engine; big, powerful, just like the man who I had every intention of fucking until I couldn't walk. I snuggled against him, pressing my body to his, my arms wrapped around one of his, feeling so alive and excited, like I had when I was eighteen and the sexiest boy in school had picked me as his girlfriend.

I felt like dancing, total euphoria when we got out of the truck at The Westshore Plaza, a huge shopping mall, horny and excited, anxious to get into something more fun, more like the mood I was in.

Alan and I used to go shopping together. There's this store in Kennewick, it's still there, the Castle Megastore. He'd pick out the most outlandish, sexy things for me to try on. There was this tight little latex skirt, it couldn't have been more than ten inches long; high heels and an almost sheer nylon blouse. He bought them, along with a lacy, bikini panty, then dared me to wear them with no bra in the Columbia Center Mall for an hour. It ended up more than two hours, I was having so much fun. My parents would have grounded me for a month if they had known.

That's how I felt that morning in Tampa, like that sexy, silly girl. Of course, I wanted something a bit more 'adult' than a latex skirt, since I am forty-nine. A very nice forty-nine, though, even I have to admit. Still a flat tummy, nice butt, pretty legs. Robert has always said my sexy legs are my best part. 'Except for your tits', he'd usually add, with a laugh.

Maybe leather, I LOVE leather. Anything leather. So sexy! I have a leather dress at home that I can't even remember the last time I wore. That's going to change when I get home, Robert will be thrilled.

That's what I told Alan, that I wanted a leather skirt.

Everything looked so different than it had yesterday afternoon. Amazing what difference a night of incredible sex can make. Of course, my companion, too. Not that I don't love my husband and don't love being with him, I do. But being with Alan was so different. It brought back those young girl memories, made me feel that way again. Even if I hadn't known Alan before, just being with this sexy hunk would make any woman drunk with the 'sexy, silly girl' feeling.

I've never used a recreational drug in my life, but this giddiness, the sexual excitement must be at least a little how it feels. My girl hormones were in overdrive, sending shockwave after shockwave to my pussy. Last night hadn't been enough, not even close!

He parked at the Westshore Plaza, a big shopping mall, much bigger than our Columbia Center Mall. I was excited when Alan opened the door for me and I climbed down, my legs shaking with the sense of adventure.

Alan held my hand as we walked through the mall. Just holding his hand was sending electric shock waves through my body. The memory of last night, his skin against mine, almost gave me an instant orgasm, walking down the plaza.

We stopped at a little costume jewelry kiosk. I hadn't brought any jewelry on this trip because I wanted to be... searching my brain for the right word... nondescript, unsexy, like the slacks and blouse I was wearing. Now, though, I wanted just the opposite. Forty-nine or thirty-nine, I felt sexy, wanted to look sexy. For my man.

We bought a pair of silver, dangling hoop earrings, spiral-shaped. I've always worn small ones; Black Hills Gold, small imitation diamonds, things like that. Never anything like those. I took out the little gold studs that were in my ears and Alan threaded the hoop through my piercing, letting his fingers linger on my neck. "Beautiful," he said. I checked in the kiosk's mirror. They were. I loved them, so racy.

He took me in the Leather Loft, everything leather you could ask for. "I've walked past here so many times, thinking of you and how you loved leather. Never imagined bringing you here."

Every time he said something like that it made me giddiness with happiness, knowing how he'd been thinking of me, even after all those years. There's that word again, 'giddy'. I expect I'll use it a lot to describe my day, it so perfectly describes my hot-young-girl feeling.

We started looking at skirts, both of us giggling at the ridiculous skirts that Alan kept pulling out, holding them up to my waist, commenting how good it'd look on me. I had pledged that I'd be okay with short, but ridiculous micro? I didn't think so. We'd been there maybe ten minutes when he found one that he said, "This is the one!"

It was gorgeous and when I felt it, the burgundy leather was so soft, about fourteen-inches or so long, but the feature that made it stand out was the lacing on one side. It had about a two-inch open, laced gap until about two inches of the top.

I loved it! Alan found a salesgirl and asked about a dressing room. She directed us to either side of the store, little cubbyholes with three-quarter height doors.

I was wishing there was room for two, but they were small. I slipped down what I now considered my awful, granny slacks, vowing to give them away when I got home and a sudden inspiration hit me. My head was above the top of the door, so I asked Alan if he'd find me a pair of leather pants as well. I didn't want to have to put the old ones back on.

While he was looking for pants, I pulled on the skirt, loving how it felt against my skin. It fit perfectly, tight around my hips and shorter than anything I've worn since... I don't even know when, probably college. Maybe last night's dress, about the same. But this was a skirt, and with that laced gap up the side showing off my thigh skin, it seemed so naughty.

I knew I'd need different panties, something a lot sexier than the white cotton ones I was wearing, the only kind I'd brought on this trip. A lot smaller, too. These were pretty small bikini panties but the strap still showed in that laced gap. I took it off, then my panties, and pulled the skirt back up. THAT made a difference! What had seemed 'naughty' before took on a whole new meaning with nothing under that gap hiding my skin. New panties took on a whole new importance.

I didn't even want to take it off, wanted to show Alan, see if it did to him what it was doing to me. And my husband was going to love it, too, when I got home.

Speaking of Robert, while I waited for Alan and the pants, I got a text from him that he was just boarding and would have to turn his phone off. I texted him back a simple, 'love you'.

I saw Alan walking back toward the dressing room, carrying a pair of brown pants, and handed them to me over the door. They were looser than the skirt, with elastic around the top. Beautiful. Perfect.

I left the pants on, I wasn't putting the old ones back on ever again, told Alan we were getting both, pants and skirt. Besides, my beige blouse looked nice with them, too. I sighed, maybe school. Sexy wouldn't do in school.

He loved the look of the leather pants on me. So did I. The one place where they were nice and tight was between my legs, rubbing against my pussy. No panties. They were in the bag with the skirt.

Macy's was right next door. I needed panties, a couple bras, and blouses, one for the skirt and one for the pants. Pants were going to be for tomorrow, the trip home. The skirt for today, with Alan.

We found a sheer black lace bra and panty set, panties nothing more than a thong with a thin elastic around the waist, and another beige set for the pants. Then a black, sheer silk blouse that would show off the sexy bra underneath. I loved the black along with the burgundy skirt. And I couldn't wait to put them on!

I got a light, cashmere sweater for tomorrow. It needed to be warmer because it was still cold at home, unlike Tampa that today was currently seventy-eight degrees and still getting warmer.

Shoes. The comfy shoes I was wearing were not going to work with that skirt. For the pants and sweater, yes; no for the skirt. Macy's has everything. And very nice, too. I showed the sales girl the skirt they'd be worn with and a general description of what I liked. I hadn't worn high heels for so long, until last night. I loved what they did for my legs, and surprisingly, they felt good to me. Those pink shoes weren't going to match that skirt, though.

Alan suggested that Neiman Marcus on the other end of the mall would be the place to look for shoes. He wanted to, but I paid for the things I'd chosen and we set off down the mall to Neiman Marcus.

As soon as we walked in and saw shoes, I commented to Alan that they were beautiful. When we got closer and could see prices, I told him they were too expensive, that we had to go somewhere different.