Kiki and I met and dated during our senior year in college in Colorado. Our backgrounds were remarkably similar; white, middle-class, conservative, very conventional. It was not her background however that first caught my eye. Rather, it was the virginal sensuality that she radiated; that and a 35B-22-34 figure which remained firm and turned heads for the years we were married. I was the "experienced" one in our romance, though two brief and unsatisfying affairs hardly qualified me as an expert. Kiki had wanted to "hold out" until we were married, but gave in when a job offer in Dallas meant that we would be separated for the foreseeable future. I would like to say that our lovemaking was great, but it really wasn't. We balled three times, and the combination of our inexperience, anxiety and the condoms I was forced to wear made for less than great sex. There was a real tenseness between us when she left for Dallas and I remained behind to finish my degree that summer.
During the first month of our separation we talked constantly on the phone. I still shudder thinking of that first long distance bill! We discussed marriage plans and avoided talking about our awkward first times in bed. That was fine with me and it never crossed my mind that something might go amiss with our plans. The first hint came the week in late July when she didn't call and only one letter arrived. When I phoned she seemed withdrawn and obviously troubled, though she assured me that nothing was wrong. Her new job was terrific and she had met some nice people, including a guy named Jim who was a colleague and lived in the same apartment building. He was in his mid-thirties and a lifelong resident of Dallas. She talked about several other people, male and female, and initially there was nothing to arouse my suspicions. But I began to notice his name coming up more frequently in our conversations. Oh, and she had started taking the pill . . . just to give her body time to adjust to it until my visit in late August when it would be put to use . . . or so she said!
Then came the Friday night a week later when she didn't answer her phone, even when I called around two in the morning. It wasn't until the following afternoon that I finally reached Kiki, though by that time things were beginning to add up. A sleepless night resulted from what was both anger and anxiety.
"I tried calling you all last night. What were you doing? Where were you?" I rasped, not sure if I wanted to really hear her answer. There was a pause and then the truth.
Almost whispering she said, "With Jim . . .". Another pause, and then, "We made love."
My blood pressure and pulse rate surged and had I not been sitting, I would have fallen over. Dizzy and unable to utter a sound at first, I struggled to control my emotions. At first they were jumbled and no one was more surprised than I when my first reaction came neither from anger nor jealousy, but from an intense state of arousal.
"Was it good?", I asked hoarsely, desperately needing to know.
Her voice was still timid, halting, though her answer was definite. "Yes." A pause. Then more clearly. "It was very good." She was trying to be honest, yet shrinking from the emotional explosion that she knew must come. It never did. My emotional state was certainly in shock, but the only explosion would come from my penis which by now was rock-hard and in my right hand. I needed to know two things: Did she still love me? . . . Yes, though she felt confused. Assuring her that I felt the same way, I pressed for the details. To my surprised delight, her answers were bold and detailed.
Was Jim a good lover? . . . Again, yes! He knew his way around a woman's body. "I think he's what you call a stud." My dick throbbed.
Was he "hung"? . . . She hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I think so. I felt really stretched, . . . almost full when his penis first entered me. I was surprised how different it felt."
So he was larger than I was, right? . . . "Yes.", and then "Both thicker and longer. It hurt at first, but then it just felt good." The thought of a well-hung stud with my baby burned in my mind.
Kiki seemed relieved by my reaction, though obviously puzzled. Each detail helped form a clear picture in my mind of their lovemaking. Jim was about 6'2", muscled, tanned, with "really firm buns". They had balled on his waterbed . . . how many times? . . . she thought four, at least (moan), starting about 10 p.m. Friday night and ending about 10 a.m. that morning, in between brief periods of sleep.
Kiki finally interrupted my questioning, asking if I wanted to know why she had done it! There was a trace of impatience in her voice by this time and I assured her that I did want to know . . . by all means! I was obviously not reacting the way she had imagined I would. I was more than a little surprised myself!
Kiki related her real disappointment with our first fitful attempts at lovemaking. She had hoped for fireworks and a greater closeness to me. Instead, she felt uncomfortable, unsatisfied, ashamed and felt distant from me. She wanted our relationship to work, and thought the separation would give us both time to think, and hoped that the sex would improve. As the weeks passed she also became aware of an itch, which became a nagging urge, to just once allow herself to have an affair with a "stud".
