Life had become a treadmill. Ben felt like he was on an endless belt that kept him moving without making any progress. The feeling of being stuck in the same place grew out of a combination of things. His age, as he neared 65, and his retirement were on his mind. Add to this, his physical condition being less than optimal, and his relationship with his wife of 45 years at a low point, caused him concern. He was less than content, to say the least. Retirement was a goal that was almost in reach. The date was set for the 15th day of the new year, which was only about 7 months away. Financially, they were set. Psychologically, Ben was ready. His career goals had been surpassed, and he anticipated enjoying the rest of his life doing the things that he had anticipated as he toiled raising children and building his business.
One of his concerns was his health and physical condition. That he had neglected himself the last few years we evidenced by the healthy gut and his lack of stamina. The doctor had commented during his last annual physical in November the previous year that Ben could do with some lifestyle changes, especially as he approached retirement. Taking the doctor's advice to heart, immediately after the first of the year, Ben had cut back his responsibilities with his company and replaced some of the time he had spent in the office with time in the gym. A personal trainer was part of the package. Three months later, Ben was already seeing the results. He was slimmer, lighter, and definitely in better shape than he had been in years.
It was his marriage that was now of concern. Thinking about the last few years left a bit of a sour taste in Ben's mouth. It wasn't that the relationship with his wife Vicky was bad, it was more like it just wasn't. To Ben, they were more like roommates than lovers. As he sat in his den that evening, it occurred to him that they had not had sex since celebrating Valentine's by having dinner and doing a little dancing. That had to be almost 4 weeks before. The frequency and intensity of their lovemaking seemed to have waned significantly over the last 3 or 4 years. This was the problem that he now faced as he looked forward to retirement.
Vicky didn't seem to share his enthusiasm for retirement. She had been a stay at home mom most of their married life. Whey they started courting in college, she was a vibrant, exciting young woman who quickly captured Ben's attention and his heart. Their generation had come of age in the late 60s and early 70s. There was, of course, the specter of the Vietnam War hanging over everyone, but Ben had escaped the draft by being accepted to an engineering program at a major university. When he graduated, he was immediately employed by a company supplying critical parts to the US military, which provided them with a springboard into their future together.
Taking what he learned in that first job, Ben saw the changes coming with the end of the conflict in Southeast Asia. He and a friend, along with some financial help from their parents, invested in a small manufacturing firm and began to design and produce parts and equipment for the aerospace industry. By reinvesting into the company to keep it on the cutting edge of both design and manufacturing technology, the company began to grow and prosper.
Both Ben and Vicky were products of their time. They grew up enjoying music and spending time with their friends at various clubs and venues. Neither were prudish, and they were devoted to each other, holding to the concepts of fidelity and trust. This didn't mean that they didn't partake of some of the behaviors and opportunities available at the time. Alcohol was socially accepted and, among their friends, the occasionally joint was shared, especially at private parties. Both of them tried other recreational drugs, but neither found them pleasant nor necessary to their enjoyment.
Over the course of the next few years, two children, Jackson and Jillian, graced their lives. Times were good and everything went their way. Both of their children attended the same university, graduated and were now building successful careers of their own. In fact, Jackson was slated to move into his father's position as CEO of the company next year. Vicky had been active their entire married life in various charitable and civic organizations and functions. She was well respected and well known in the community, as was Ben, as a benefactor to many and a supporter of many organizations.
As often happens to many couples, life tends to throw obstacles and impedance along the way. Ben and Vicky faced their share of these but seemed to weather them in stride without serious difficulties. Perhaps the biggest effect was to put Vicky and Ben on different tracks, hers in the community and his focused on his business. While they supported each other completely, the divergent paths began to separate them to a certain degree.
It was those different interests that brought them to where they were at that point. Ben, ever the engineer and businessman, kept his eyes where he perceived the most importance. He still kept abreast of the latest technological trends and stayed active in various national organizations within his industry. Vicky, intently aware of her position within the community, had matured into a smart and elegant woman, respected by her peers, and sought after for her opinions and advice. Mary was also aware that in her late 50s, she was still an attractive woman and knew that many of the men in her social circle looked at her with more than approving glances. She sometimes had to smile when she saw much younger men stop to turn and look at her as she entered a venue or passed through a crowd. There was never any intent or interest in cheating on her husband, but she did enjoy the attention she could still generate from the opposite sex.
Ben missed the intimacy and physical contact that he and Vicky had once shared so joyously. Other than a quick touch at bedtime and a short closed mouth kiss, they rarely shared any physical touch anymore. After menopause, Vicky seemed to lose interest in sex, much to Ben's frustration. Now, Ben reflected on those changes and how they might impact their retirement plans.
For years, Ben and Vicky had talked about traveling to all the places they had read about and doing the things that thought were so exciting. Ben remembered fantasies of moonlight strolls on the beach that ended in lovemaking under the stars to the background of the surf. A favorite was to take a long sojourn through Europe, visiting all the celebrated sights and building memories of sultry embraces in magnificent palaces, dinners in exotic places filled with sexual innuendo, and waking to have a leisurely breakfast on a cruise ship after nights of passion in their cabin. Now Ben was afraid that none of these would ever come true. He needed to find a way to rekindle that lust for life that they had lost somewhere along their journey.
He was certain that his financial and career goals were going to come to fruition on the schedule he planned. There was no doubt that by the time his actual retirement happened, he would be back to a semblance of his younger self and physically capable of the adventures of which they had dreamed. Now he needed to tackle the problem of getting their interpersonal selves out of the rut they had created. Unfortunately, Ben was stumped to find a solution. He had considered a marriage counselor, but after talking to three, he was uncomfortable with the mumbo jumbo answers they offered or the protocols they seemed to think were the solutions.
In another attempt, he had tried getting Vicky to sit down and rationally discuss their relationship. She had tried, but Ben was as uncomfortable as she was with the subject of their relationship and their sex life. It had turned into a series of conversations marked by long uncomfortable silences and bursts of almost manic discussion that didn't produce any viable results. Ben was searching online for other ideas as he sat in his recliner. Vicky was at a committee meeting for the local food bank that, he knew, would run until about 8pm. He had several hours to kill.
His search on Google for solutions to marital boredom returned a few magazine articles and some journal entries, but nothing that Ben found useful. He clicked to the second page of the search results and found several listing where marital boredom was the key word. All of those entries referred to links on a site called Literotica. Curiosity had him clicking on one of the links, which brought him to what was plainly a fictional story. He read through the rather short piece and found it to be amateurish at best. The basic premise was a woman who wanted to regain her husband's attention, and the things she did to accomplish her goal. It was amusing enough that Ben clicked on one of the other links and began to read.
By the time Ben heard Vicky's car enter the garage, he had been reading stories on Literotica for almost 2 hours. Vicky was almost 30 minutes later than the 8pm he had expected. He closed the laptop and went to the kitchen to meet her, knowing she would enter through the door from the garage. As she stepped in, he put his hands on her shoulders and leaned in to give her a kiss. She seemed startled at this, but tilted her head and returned his attentions.
"Hey Babe. How was the meeting."
"The usual. There is more need than there is money to meet them."
"Isn't that always the condition in non-profits."
"Yes. But it seems more acute these days."
"Well, I'm sure that ideas will come to meet the needs."
Moving around him, Vicky headed to the Master Bedroom, leaving Ben standing in the kitchen. He watched her move away from him and felt some old familiar stirrings. The conservative dress she wore swayed slightly as she walked and the motion of her hips brought a smile to his face. She still was, to him, an extremely sexy and provocative woman. How to bring back the attitudes of 30 years ago was his challenge. He resolved to work on it as hard as he had worked on their financial goals and his physical goals.
Laying in bed, Ben listened to Vicky breathing softly and regularly beside him. As usual, she had changed into a long cotton gown, did her toiletries and went to bed. She was asleep, as she was usually, by the time Ben came in after locking up the house and turning off the lights. Sighing, Ben stripped to his boxer shorts and crawled into the bed. Sleep didn't come quickly or easily. His mind was thinking about the challenges he set for himself, but frequently he found his mind wandering to the stories he had read on Literotica. Some of his last thoughts were questions. His sleepy brain, juggling the images from the Literotica stories and his thoughts about his relationship, lead to some strange dreams.
Leaving for work that morning, he kissed Vicky again and this time, he was insistent on putting his tongue in her mouth. She didn't pull away, but when he broke the kiss, she looked at him with surprise.
"What brought that on?"
"We used to do that all the time. Remember?"
"Ben. We were younger then. What are you trying to do?"
"Rekindle some of that old spirit."
Good God Ben. We are old. That stuff is way behind us."
As he left, he grinned and looked back over his shoulder.
"May not as far behind us as you think."
Sitting behind the mahogany desk in his office, he took care of a few emails and glanced over some productions reports. The glances were casual since Jackson was doing most of the day-to-day operations. Pulling his laptop from its case, he plugged it into the desktop docking bay and saw the two big screens on his desk come to life. Intending to so some more research on his problem, he soon found himself back on Literotica. He found the search features and the TAGS feature. Soon he had bookmarked a number of stories. All focused around the idea of rekindling relationships or reconciling relationships.
Intellectually, Ben understood that these were works of fiction and, as such, probably weren't the best place to get ideas for what he wanted to accomplish. His rational was that with his intelligence he could take works of fiction and sort out the workable ideas from the outlandish and concoct a scheme to light the fire again with his wife.
The more of the stories he read, the firmer the seed of an idea became. As the morning wore on, he began to compile notes and thoughts using a pencil and a cheap journal. It was an old habit of his, keeping the cheap college ruled journals at hand and using them to compile his thoughts and ideas. He fell back on what had been successful in the past.
