Happy Place

Barbara's story.

My gown has nothing to do with what I'm about to tell you. I'll save that story for another time. Those cotton panties, however, have everything to do with my story.

Remember how I wore cotton panties when we first started dating and then one day I switched to sexy panties, the kind women wear. I'm getting ahead of myself. You've heard the term kissing cousins. Johnny and I are kissing cousins. We're both Italian so I grew up kissing him whenever we said hello or goodbye. He was my second cousin, my great aunt's grandson.

Johnny was also very handsy, but he seemed to grab my ass or breasts more than he did other women's. Everyone saw him as harmless. The old women loved him as did the younger women. He had a knack for making women feel good about themselves. I admit I had a crush on him.

You know how everyone in my family dances. You remember how good a dancer he is. Becky got pregnant. She had a difficult pregnancy, lots of bed rest. I didn't go to college right after high school, but took a year off. Remember, they both had good paying jobs. They approached my parents and asked if I could help them out. I hated the job I had, but I wasn't wild about doing everything I did at my house, cleaning, laundry, ironing, cooking, for Johnny. I was also hesitant because Johnny and I had a history. It was before he met Becky and while I was no longer bitter I was not as big a fan of his as I had been. I agreed, more because of Becky, who I really liked.

I quickly learned a lot about Johnny and Becky. She spoiled him because that was how he had been raised. The first born grandson. Whatever Johnny wanted he got. His mom and sisters did everything for him. Do you know they would go to his apartment before he got married and clean it, do his laundry, even bring him meals? He didn't pout when things didn't go his way, but looked so put out. I could never have married a man like him, but Becky loves him and she kept spoiling him.

I'd get over there early and make him breakfast, like you do for me. I'd have his coffee and eggs and toast ready. He liked just a little bit of butter and medium toasted. His eggs had to be over easy and cooked in bacon fat. His orange juice had to be fresh squeezed. He was particular with his clothes too. I learned how to tie a tie because of him. Thank God, he wasn't so particular about the housekeeping because I'd have quit. I was also taking care of Becky, but she was a lot more self sufficient. She apologized about his peculiar habits. I told her they didn't bother me and it was nothing I hadn't seen before. I reminded her I was Italian and had an older brother who was the first grandson.

I know I'm drowning you with details, but they give what I'm about to tell you context and color. Your penis looks like it's enjoying it. Let me take another lick. You taste good, Josie. I thought a lot about boys, but my dad was overprotective. I think he scared off a lot of boys. You're the first boy I dated that he actually liked. He said you were a hard worker, respectful, had good manners. He was big on manners and work. Back to my story.

I hung out at Johnny and Becky's so much it started to feel like a second home. There were plenty of nights I spent the night. I painted the nursery because the fumes made Becky nauseous. We talked a lot. I'd make them dinner and get ready to leave, but they'd insist I stay and eat with them. Then, they'd convince me to spend the night because Johnny had to be at work earlier than usual and he needed breakfast. There were lots of times I'd get up, make him breakfast, even help him dress, clean up, then go back to bed.

I forgot to pack a nightgown so I'm wearing one of Becky's nightgowns which is embarrassingly short on me. She's so tiny compared to him. I used to wonder how they did it. I figured she was always on top, but back then I didn't even know if that was a position. I assumed everyone did it one way, missionary. Let me get some lubricant. I'll be right back. How does that feel? Nice, huh? Don't cum.

That was close Josie. Way too soon. Anyway, back to my story. I'll keep my hands off of you for a few minutes. As I was saying, the nightgown was so short. I told myself when I went to bed I needed to change back into my clothes when I got up. The problem is I forgot and by the time I remembered it was too late. I'm busy making Johnny his breakfast. He wasn't in the kitchen when I started, but was sitting in his chair when I turned around. He hadn't said a word.

I was so tired that morning. Anyway, he's been looking at my ass for I don't know how long and when I turned around to face him I notice he's not looking me in the eye, but below my waist. You know how dark and thick my pubic hair is. Those panties were white and thin. I also didn't realize it, but I had a camel toe. Johnny had this intense look on his face as I got closer.

I put the plate down in front of him and asked him if there was anything else he needed.

He said he wanted coffee. I walked back to the kitchen and the lightbulb in my naive head turned on. I had given my cousin Johnny quite an eyeful. Instead of embarrassing me, it excited me. Johnny was a man and he was looking at me like men look at women. I thought I was over my crush, but the way he was looking at me brought to the surface those old feelings. I actually bent over to give him more of a view or stood on my tiptoes so my nightie went even higher."

I brought him his coffee and he sent me to get him a glass of orange juice. I need to make it as he likes his fresh squeezed. I bent down and got the mixer. I know he can't see me because of the counter, but I imagined he could. I can feel my nipples get hard. I'm not worried about things getting out of control because he's my cousin and he's married and what happened between us was years ago. We joke with each other a lot. It's good natured, but there's a sexual undercurrent. He'd tease me about being all grown up, goose me or grab a feel of my boobs. He'd even do it in front of Becky. She thought it was cute. I'd tell Johnny he was a pig. She'd laugh.

That morning, I could have left and put on some less revealing clothes, but I told myself he's seen me in my bikini a lot and it's about as revealing as my panties. I'm know I'm making excuses, normalizing what should have been inappropriate behavior. I also remember what we did one night and how pleasurable it had been.

He starts to eat. I talk to him as I cut up the oranges and put them in the juicer. A few minutes later I bring him his glass of orange juice. The world revolves around him so it's no surprise he tells me again how important the day is. He is the opening speaker at a conference his company is hosting. Johnny likes to talk and he's a bit of a know it all so I'm surprised when he says he's nervous. I tell him he'll do fine. He thanked me for getting up early.

It doesn't take long before spoiled Johnny surfaces. He says his shoes need shining. I get the hint. He's too busy eating to shine his shoes. I used to shine my dad's shoes so I get his shoes, apply polish, add a bit of petroleum jelly, and shine them up really nice. He tells me Becky always shines his shoes. I tell him she really spoils him. He says she does and that he'd be lost without her. He finishes, leaves the room. I start cleaning up. He comes back a few minutes later.

Johnny says, "Barbara, I have a couple of favors to ask."

I feel a bit exasperated, but sweetly say I'd love to help him. He sits down. I sit beside him. He hands me his cufflinks, says he's all thumbs this morning because he's nervous. I grab his hand and fasten those small buttons covering his forearms and then put the cufflink on. I then have to get up and move to another chair to do his other arm. I tell him he's not making this easy.

He laughs, then tells me, "I just want you to know Barbara you've grown into a very beautiful woman."

I feel myself blush and thank him. He tells me someday I'm going to make a man very happy.

I answer, "I remember making you very happy a long time ago."

He laughs and says, "I think we made each other happy that night."

I tell him, "Yes, we did."

I'm thinking about that night and how erotic it had been. I finish with the cufflinks. He tells me he needs his tie put on. I don't know if he's joking or not.

He's serious. He says please cousin in Italian, "Per favore, cugina. Becky usually does it."

I roll my eyes, but agree to help him with his tie. I also tell him Becky needs to quit spoiling him.

He told me, "There's nothing she won't do for me."

"Obviously," I tell him, "What do you need me to do?"

"Flip my collar. You have to unfasten those little buttons."

I scoot my chair closer to him. We're staring at each other. Our faces are unbelievably close. I flip his shirt collar up. When I reach around my breasts are literally in his face.

Johnny says, "Now put my tie on."

He steps me through it. He likes Windsors. I mess up and have to start over, but on my second try I get it.

"Nice job, Barbara."

I answer in Italian, "Prego."

My face is warm and it's not because the room is hot. Johnny stands up, says he wants to see how long his tie is.

"Perfect."

When I was putting his tie on him our faces were barely an inch apart. Now that he's standing guess what is right in front of my face? His crotch. A long time ago I had felt Johnny's erection, but now I was seeing it at eye level. It was covered by his slacks, but it made a big tent in them. I felt my mouth go dry. It was as if I was suddenly dying of thirst and only one thing could quench it. I had heard of blow jobs, even seen girls pretend to do them in movies, but I had never seen an erection, touched a boy's cock, and I certainly hadn't sucked one.

There it is right in my face. I felt a lump in my throat form. I didn't look at him, but at that lump.

I told him, "Johnny, you'll be late."

I wondered if he could feel my breathe on his crotch because there was literally no room between us. He put his hand on the top of my head.

He said, "I'm way ahead of schedule. It won't take long."

I knew what he wanted.

"Tell me what to do."

He said, "I'll show you."

He unzipped his pants, reached inside, and suddenly I was face to face with my cousin's cock. It was big and looked painfully swollen. I put both of my hands on it because it was so long and thick. I thought there's no way it will fit it in my mouth. I didn't see it as beautiful, which it was, but as threatening. His cock would not be denied.

I kissed the tip experiencing for the first time the taste of precum. I thought it tasted good. I ran my hands up and down his shaft surprised by how smooth it was. I kissed it again, then extended my tongue and licked the opening.

He put his hand on the back of my head and pulled me towards it. I opened my mouth really wide and experienced another first. I had a man's cock in my mouth. It was a bit uncomfortable especially when he thrust his hips forward. Picture me with a huge sausage in my mouth and you'll get the idea of how I looked that morning. He probably only had a couple of inches in my mouth. I wanted more, but there was no way, not given my experience and the way I was seated. The head of his cock was hitting the back of my throat. My mouth was producing a lot of saliva to make it easier for him to fuck it. I was vaguely aware of the noise we were making. That slurping sound when someone sucks on something really tasty.

My first time performing fellatio was a success because within a couple of minutes he placed a hand on either side of my head and grunted. It startled me when he came because I really didn't know what to expect. I just swallowed and kept swallowing until he finished. I continued sucking him because I didn't want the moment to end.

Afterwards he said, "Grazie , cugina. I really needed that."

I responded, "Anytime Johnny. I'm glad I could help. You had better get going."

I kissed his now deflating cock, shoved it back inside his pants and zipped him up.

I stood up. He asked if we were still good. I told him we were.

He said, "You didn't feel forced did you?"

I answered, "No, I wanted to do it."

"Good. We'll talk later."

He went and put on his jacket. He asked me how he looked. I told him he looked very professional and handsome. I even buttoned his coat and straightened his tie. I walked him to the door. He hugged me and we shared a French kiss. He left and I went back to bed where I masturbated, replaying again and again performing fellatio on my cousin Johnny.

It wasn't until later the enormity of what I had done hit me. I felt horrible for making Johnny commit adultery. I was going to go to hell. He was going to get divorced. Becky might kill us or kill herself. I was a very bad person consumed with guilt. I couldn't look her in the eye all day. She asked me several times if anything was wrong. I told her no. She didn't press it. She asked if I needed some time off. I told her I didn't, but could use a few hours as I had skipped Mass the day before. She thanked me for helping her out with Johnny and said he required a lot of TLC which she wasn't always able to give him these days. I didn't know how I should interpret her comment.

I told her I was always available to help if he needed extra TLC. She thanked me and said she really appreciated it. I did tell her that I might need to wear longer nighties.

She laughed and said, '"I think you'd upset Johnny if you did. He likes the way my nighties look on you. We want you to be comfortable here. He and I are pretty relaxed about a lot of things."

I wanted to say, '"I don't think you'd be so relaxed if you knew I gave Johnny a blow job and French kissed him."

For some reason I equated the French kiss with the blow job.

Now, Josie, this is where my story gets really interesting. After making Becky lunch, I headed to my house. My parents were at work. I showered, masturbated again, got dressed, called my mom and asked her if it would be okay if I stayed over at Johnny and Becky's another night. She said of course it would and commented on how my taking a year off between high school and college was working out for the better. She even said something about how helping out with another couple's difficult time would make me more mature and a better wife. She also reminded me I needed to be socking away money because she and my dad didn't have much to spare. I assured her I was putting away almost all of what Johnny and Betsy paid me.

I got off the phone. One minute I felt great, so womanly, sucking another man's cock, swallowing his cum, and the next I was stricken with guilt and convinced I was going to hell for sucking a married man's cock. I liked Becky so much and I had betrayed her. Back in those days, where did I go when I was upset? Church. I got in the car and headed to Saint Peter's. In those days, they always had afternoon confession. I went into the church. Do you remember the priest? Yes, Father Bill, the same one who married us.

I know you thought he was a great guy, how he referred to me as the wife he never had or even creepier, the daughter he never had. What I'm about to tell you will change your opinion of him. He was older than our parents, but younger than our grandparents. He was the same priest who married Johnny and Becky. Even back then we thought he was a bit of a lech, but harmless. He'd ask you to dance slow songs and you'd feel like you committed a sin if you told him no. He would say things that today would be very inappropriate, but back then no one questioned because of his vocation. Funny how I wanted to be a nun when I was a little girl and get married to a priest. It was several years later when I discovered that's not how it worked.

Anyway, Father Bill sees me. There are a few older people who arrived before me. I wait my turn. A half hour goes by and now I'm the last one in the church. He leaves the small confessional, heads to the bathroom, and returns a few minutes later. He is standing by the big confessional, the one where you confess face to face. I think, 'Oh, great. I have to look him in the eye when I confess.' I almost chickened out, but reminded myself I needed to take my lumps. He pointed his finger at me and beckoned me to come.

I got up and walked to him. He looked like he was mad or disappointed in me. He held the door to the confessional open. There were two chairs and a kneeler. He pointed to the kneeler. He sat right in front of me. My eyes were level with his crotch.

He started, "May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy."

I responded, "Forgive me, Father Bill, for I have sinned. My last confession was two weeks ago and these are my sins. I committed adultery."

"You're a good girl, Barbara; that doesn't sound like something you would do."

"I know, but I did."

"And he's married?"

"Yes."

"Anyone I know?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Oh my. What did you and he do?"

"We french kissed."

"That's bad, but your sin could have been more grievous and offensive to God."

"There's more."

I mumbled, "I performed fellatio on him."

He asked me to repeat myself and to speak up. Father Bill was hard of hearing.

I said it louder and clearer, "I performed fellatio on him."

He looked confused and I wondered if he had never heard that word. After all, he was a priest.

I used cruder language, "I gave him a blowjob."

He said, "I know what fellatio is, but thank you for clarifying. What would your parents say?"

"They can never know. They'd be horrified."

"I think we need to tell them."

"Father, I thought the confessional was inviolate."

"Normally, it is, Barbara, but I'm worried about your soul."

"Please, Father, don't tell them."

I was crying at that point, almost hysterical.

It was then Father Bill negotiated our arrangement.

"I won't, but you need to be taught a lesson."

"I'll do anything," I promised.

He reached down, unzipped his pants, and fished out an erect, but smaller model of Johnny's cock. He was a little bigger than average which means he was way bigger than you, Josie. He was also uncircumcised which surprised me.

"Father, are you blackmailing me? I'll tell my parents."

"I'll deny it. Do you think they will believe their adulterous daughter or their priest? I think we both know the answer."

I was in a pickle. My tear stained face didn't sway him. I ended up sucking his cock. Even though the circumstances were less than ideal, it wasn't a horrible experience. It was actually kind of pleasant to have something not so big in my mouth. I wondered how many women he had blackmailed through the years, his silence paid for with sexual favors.

Unliked Johnny's blowjob which had taken just a few minutes from start to finish, Father Bill's took considerably longer. He grabbed my head moved it back and forth as he fucked my mouth.

"Breathe through your nose," he said, "That way you don't choke."

Just like my vagina lubricated prior to and during intercourse I discovered so did my mouth. The saliva I produced made it easier for both of us. He stood up. I had this sudden impulse to take his cock to its root, to feel his pubic hair against my face. I unbuckled his belt, unfastened his pants and took my mouth off of him just long enough to get his underwear out of the way and grabbed his buttocks with my hands pulling him into my mouth deeper and deeper. I fought the urge to gag and Father was soon ramming the entire length of his cock in and out of my drooling mouth..

He didn't do a lot of talking, just grunted, but I do remember him saying, "Sweet Mother of Jesus, that feels good."

It wasn't our blessed Mother giving him a blowjob, but adulterous and sinful Barbara.

Still, it was nice to share the pedestal with her. We both got into the face fucking he was giving me. I really appreciated the cushioned kneeler. He sped up and announced he was going to cum. I grabbed a hold of his ass as he ejaculated. The quantity surprised me, but I swallowed it all.