Happy Little Family

Happy Little Family

Setting the scene

Anthony, Wendy, Sara and Oscar are attending family therapy with their therapist Michael.

The Introduction

"So, why are we here?" Michael asked with a friendly smile, as he observed the family of four in front of him. The husband, Anthony, and wife, Wendy, were sitting next to each other on the two-seater sofa. To the left of Anthony was a teenage girl, Sara, with a scowl sitting on an office chair with her arms crossed looking like she wished she wasn't there and to the right of Wendy was a boy, Oscar, who looked like he hadn't quite reached his teenage years, he sat looking down at the floor with his hands between his legs. Like Sara, he looked like he didn't want to be there.

The husband and wife looked at each other pensively, holding each other's hand before Wendy spoke, "We have recently got married and we need some help bringing our two families together."

"We are having a few adjustment issues," Anthony added.

Michael raised his eyebrows and made a note in his notebook, "Ok, I take it this isn't your first marriage for either of you."

"No," Wendy admitted. "It's both our second marriage."

Michael knew the situation before they even walked in the door. Meeting them only confirmed it.

"So, what do want to achieve from your sessions?" Michael asked, deliberately using the plural because it was clear they were going to need them.

"Well, Oscar, already has a wonderful relationship with Anthony. They do many father and son things together and he already calls Anthony Dad," Wendy said with a proud smile. Oscar looked away from Wendy and refused to take her outstretched hand which made Wendy's smile disappear with a hurt expression.

"The problem is Sara," Anthony, said with a flash of anger, Sara snorted in response. "Whenever she is at home, she just sits in her room and refuses to leave until she returns to my first wife unless she is made to for meals or family activities."

First wife? Interesting way to describe Sara's mother.

"So, what do you want to achieve from your sessions?" Michael repeated.

"We want, Sara, to accept the new reality that she is part of a new family and all that comes with it," Anthony replied with an unbending resolve.

Sara's face reacted with disdain.

"Are you saying Sara is what is stopping you all from being a happy family?" Michael suggested.

"No," Wendy, quickly answered, "we just want her to accept me, and us as a couple. I know we can all be a happy family if we all just try," she said giving Sara a hopeful smile

Sara just sat there shaking her head with a look of disgust.

"Sara," Anthony snapped, "don't disrespect your mother!"

"She isn't my mother!" Sara retorted.

Here we are, the first step to the root of the problem.

"Ok, ok," Michael said, jovially raising his voice. "I think what we should do is, firstly I will speak you, Anthony and Wendy alone, then I will speak to Sara before I speak to you and Sara together, Anthony. Afterwards, I will speak to Oscar alone, then together with you and Oscar, Wendy. Lastly, I would like to talk with you Anthony and Wendy again to go over what we have learnt. I won't lie to you it will be a difficult journey and you will likely arrive at somewhere you will probably not like. Are you willing to do this, no matter where it leads you?"

"Whatever, it takes," Anthony said with certainty.

"Whatever, it takes," Wendy repeated, smiling.

The couple lovingly smiled at each other.

"I doubt you will be smiling at the end,"

Michael thought before saying out loud, "Good! Sara, Oscar, do you mind if you wait in the waiting room while I talk to your parents? There are snacks and drinks in there, help yourselves to whatever you want and you can also watch the tv in there."

"They're not my parents," Sara muttered insolently as she walked out which brought another flash of anger to Anthony's face. There appeared to be no interaction between Sara and Oscar.

"Don't spoil your dinner, Oscar," Wendy called after him.

When the children had left the room, Michael turned back to Anthony and Wendy and smiled.

Anthony and Wendy

"Ok," Michael began with an upbeat voice. "Shall we begin?"

Anthony and Wendy smiled back.

"Let's start and the beginning," Michael said. "You both say this is your second marriage, correct?"

"That is right," they both answered in unison.

"So, how did the pair of you meet?"

"Well," Wendy began excitedly, "we were at a BBQ at a mutual friend's house. I couldn't help but notice who this dishy man was." Anthony laughed at being called dishy.

"All I remember was seeing this beautiful and glamourous woman in a yellow sundress," this earnt Anthony a playful slap from Wendy on his thigh. "I was instantly drawn to her and I had to talk to her."

"After the BBQ you started dating?"

"No, that didn't happen for a few months. We kept bumping into each other at events, turned out that our children went to the same school. Oscar was in year seven and Harry was in year 10. Sara must have been year 9, isn't that right Anthony?" Anthony nodded happily.

"Harry?" Michael asked quizzically, his brow furrowed in confusion.

The first crack appeared in their happy veneer making their smiles slip.

"He is my eldest son," Wendy admitted uneasily. Michael made another note in his notebook.

"Ok, let's go back to how you became a couple. You met at various events and your children went to the same school?"

"Yes," Wendy continued. "We then went to the same Halloween party with our children."

"We spent the whole evening talking and we swapped numbers and agreed to meet for coffee," Anthony continued, "and the rest, as they say, is history."

"How long ago was this?"

"About two years ago," Anthony replied.

"And how long ago was your wedding?"

"Six months ago," Wendy replied happily. Her hand unconsciously turned to show off her engagement and wedding rings.

"How was the wedding? Was it a big wedding?"

Their smiles dropped again.

"No, it was a small wedding. Just our parents and a few friends," Wendy replied with a hint of sadness. Michael could tell that their happiness was shared by only a few.

"Your children didn't attend?" Michael asked.

"Oscar did and so did Sara," Anthony added looking embarrassed, like he didn't want to talk about it in too much detail.

"How about your mutual friend? The one who introduced you, was he one of your friends at your wedding?"

"No," Wendy admitted again, looking embarrassed too. "Jack hasn't been a friend for a while now."

"I have to ask, were the both of you married when you began to date?" Michael asked pointedly.

"Yes, we were," Anthony answered and they both shifted uncomfortably on the sofa. "In our defence, both our marriages were already in trouble."

"Because of your infidelity?"

Anthony and Wendy didn't answer.

"Tell me about your children's living arrangements?"

"Oscar lives with us full-time and Sara visits us every other weekend," Wendy replied with a weak smile.

"What about Harry, he doesn't live with you?"

"No, we decided it would be best if he lived with my first husband," there was a sadness in her voice.

Again, interesting way to call his dad.

"Why was that?"

"There was a misunderstanding because Harry and Anthony got into an argument."

"He punched me," Anthony added unnecessarily.

"It was a misunderstanding, Anthony," Wendy insisted.

"Enough of a misunderstanding for your ex to attack me too," Anthony said irritably.

"The cracks are appearing already in their marriage,"

Michael thought. "Oscar chose to live with you?" he asked.

"No, the courts ordered that I should have full custody of Oscar and Harry," Wendy said with a lot of discomfort at the memory. "It was a very messy divorce."

"But your sons now live in separate houses at your choice?" Wendy nodded, and for the first time, a tear rolled down her cheek. She took a tissue from the box on the coffee table in front of the sofa. "And, Sara, chose to live with her mother?" Anthony nodded uneasily.

"So, how long was it between your divorce from your previous spouse and your wedding?"

"I'm not sure I like your questions, we're not going to justify our marriage," Anthony retorted defensively.

"Anthony, we need to do this," Wendy told her husband firmly. "We were married three months after the divorce. Anthony just couldn't wait."

Michael remained silent and impassive at Anthony's outburst and just made some notes.

"How many times did you meet each other's children before moving in together?"

"Anthony moved in with me and the boys as soon as he left his first wife. I met Sara two or three times during that time."

"Were all your children at each meeting?"

"It was hard to get them all together. We couldn't get the visitation dates to match," Anthony replied irritably.

"Ok, I think I have a good idea of your situation. I think the next step would be if I talked to Sara then Oscar the following day. I think also it would be a good idea if Harry joined myself and Oscar. Could you arrange that, Wendy?"

"Is it really necessary?" Wendy objected worriedly.

"I think so," Michael insisted.

"I'll talk to my ex-husband but I can't promise Harry will come."

"As they are children, I will ask an experienced female colleague to sit in with us."

"We won't be in the room?" Anthony said sounding concerned.

"No, you will have your opportunity with Sara as will Wendy with Oscar and hopefully Harry," Michael assured him. "If you sit with us, I don't think any of the children will open up to me. Shall we say I will meet Sara at 4pm on Tuesday and Oscar and Harry on Wednesday at 4pm. I don't think we should interrupt their school day do you?"

Anthony and Wendy left and Michael simply said "Wow!" in disbelief.

Sara

"Hello, Sara, how are you," Michael greeted her warmly. His colleague Helen sat to the side. Sara sat on the sofa with her arms crossed scowling dressed in black grungy clothes like a typical rebellious teenager. When Michael got no answer, he continued gently, "The next hour is dedicated to you. If you want to sit there and say nothing then that is fine. If you want to shout and scream then that is good too. If you want to cry, feel free to cry. If you want to swear, I won't tell," that brought a small smile from Sara. "If you want to talk, I am all ears."

At the mention of talking, Sara returned to scowling.

"I have an idea, why don't we play a game?" and Michael pulled out a tin of Dobble. Sara looked at Michael quizzically through her scowl. "Helen, would you like to join us?"

"Of course," Helen smiled moving closer.

Sara thought for a moment before kneeling at the coffee table. Michael dished out the cards before Sara muttered, "Dobble," and took all the cards. They played several hands with Sara winning most of them.

"I never realised I was so bad at this game," Michael said irritably which made Sara laugh. Helen smiled; she could see what Michael was doing. "I bet you have had a lot of adults tell you what to do with your life recently and no one has asked what you wanted," Michael said with sympathy.

Sara nodded and she wiped away the tears from her eyes. Helen gave the girl a tissue which Sara gratefully accepted, "It's not fair," Sara said quietly.

"No, it isn't," Michael agreed. "But this is your opportunity to say what you want. What is it you want, Sara?"

"I don't want to be with my dad, and I don't want to know that bitch," Sara said equally quietly but there was anger in her voice.

"By bitch, you mean Wendy?" Sara nodded.

"They act like we're one big happy family. They want me to call her mum but she isn't my mum! I hate her!"

"Could you see yourself at any time accepting her?"

Sara shook her head vehemently, "I want nothing to do with her. Because of her, my mum and dad split up. My mum cries all the time, she never has any money and is having to sell our home because she can't afford it. We were happy until that evil bitch came along."

"Have you talked about this to your dad?"

"He doesn't want to hear it. He just expects me to be part of their stupid happy family and keep quiet."

"What about your dad, do you still want to see him?"

"Sara shrugged, "Maybe."

"Do you feel like Wendy has taken your dad away from you?" Michael asked sympathetically. "If it was just, you and your dad, would you still want to see him?"

Sara nodded sadly, "But he won't do that, he always has to have her with us all the time."

"You don't trust your dad any more, do you?" Sara shook her head. "Did he hurt you by leaving your mum?" Sara nodded. "How do you feel about Oscar?"

Sara shrugged, "He is all right I suppose but I barely know him. I know his parents split up because of my dad but I can't be friends with him, can I? Because I hate his mum, I mean."

"You have a point," Michael agreed. "If I called in your dad, would you be prepared to tell him all this?" Sara shrugged. "Sara," Michael began to talk seriously, "I know you are upset but you won't be able to build a new relationship with your father if you don't talk to him. I know he has hurt you but you won't get what you want if you don't communicate with him. Will you talk to him? This room is special, believe me, he will listen."

"Ok," Sara agreed.

Anthony and Sara

"Anthony, would you like to join myself and Sara?" Michael asked from the door.

Anthony nodded warily and entered the room and sat next to Sara who looked at him with eyes filled with daggers. Anthony felt each one of the daggers pierce him.

"Now, Anthony would you like to talk to Sara and then Sara you can reply," Michael offered.

Anthony looked at his daughter with a mixture of sadness and frustration, "Sara, what's wrong with you? You were such a polite and happy girl, now you can't be civil to anyone. Wendy just wants to be your friend and your mother. You need to stop being childish and accept that Wendy and I are together, we are married and that's not going to change."

"It changed for you and Mum!" Sara snapped.

"That couldn't be helped, I fell in love with Wendy. You can't help who you fall in love with. Let's stop this stupid behaviour. You, me, Wendy and Oscar are a family now."

"Well, I don't want to be!" Sara screamed at her dad who visibly flinched at his daughter's rejection and fury. "I hate her, because of her, Mum is never happy, Wendy's a home wrecker, a stupid bitch and I want nothing to do with her or your crappy happy little family!" Sara then began to sob, pushing away her father when he tried to console her.

"Sara, please, we can work this out, if you would just open up to us. Wendy loves you."

"Are you listening to yourself? How can she love me when she doesn't even know me, I can never love someone like her. She's a slut and an evil bitch. Mum is going to have to sell our home because of you and her. How can I ever be happy if Mum is so miserable? You lied to her, you lied to me. I loved you but you betrayed me like you did with Mum."

Anthony was stunned, not knowing what to do or say as Sara unleashed many months of pent-up emotion upon him all at once, sobbing uncontrollably as she did so. Eventually, Anthony got control of himself,

"Sara, that is enough!" he told his daughter angrily. "You will be part of our family and you will be happy." Anthony turned to Michael, "This is what we told you about, do you understand what we are dealing with now?"

"I think I do," Michael replied trying to control his own anger.

Oscar

"Hello, Oscar, come in, have a seat," Michael greeted him with a smile, shaking his small hand. "This is Helen, she will be keeping me honest."

Oscar sat down on the sofa looking nervous.

"Oscar, how old are you?" Michael began.

"Twelve," the boy answered.

"That puts you in what year at school?"

"Year 8."

"Of course, it does!" Michael laughed at his own stupidity which made Oscar laugh too. Helen marvelled at how good Michael was at putting children at ease. That was what made him such a good family therapist. "Now, Oscar," Michael became serious, "can we talk about your Mum and Dad?"

"Which dad, my real one or Anthony?" Oscar asked innocently.

"Which one do you prefer?"

"I prefer my real dad but he has been unhappy ever since me and Mum left."

"How do you feel about Anthony?"

Oscar shrugged, "He tries to be my dad, but he isn't. He always tries to tell me what to do and punishes me if I don't do it or if I mess up. That is why Harry left."

"Harry is your brother, isn't he?"

Oscar nodded and his eyes lit up, "Harry's the best brother. I wish I could live with him but Mum and Anthony told him he had to live with Dad."

"Why was that?"

"Anthony got really angry with us when we wouldn't tidy up. Anthony hit me around the head so Harry punched him. It was so cool."

Michael's brow furrowed in confusion, "Your Mum tells me that you and Anthony do lots of father and son activities together."

"He tries, he takes me to watch football."

"That sounds cool, what's wrong with that?" Michael asked.

"It is his team. Me, Dad and Harry support someone else but Anthony insists I support his team and he even put his team's bedsheets on my bed. I don't even like his team."

"What else does Anthony do with you?"

"He takes me to play football at the park for my team."

"That sounds fun, isn't it?"

"I like watching football but I don't like playing it. Anthony keeps getting told off for shouting. It's embarrassing."

"What do you like instead?"

"Karate, my Dad teaches it in his own dojo and he taught me and Harry. I wish I could go back to doing that."

There was a commotion outside and a large lad of around sixteen years old barged in with a nasty bruise on his face.

"Harry!" Oscar exclaimed with an excited smile and ran into his brother's arms.

"Oscar!" Harry exclaimed back. Both boys laughed as they wrestled each other on their feet.

"Harry, welcome! I am so glad you came," Michael said warmly. "Have a seat with your brother." With them all sat down, Michael commented, "That is a nasty bruise."

"Yeah, got it in a Karate competition. I got to the semi-final," Harry bragged.

"Did your Mum explain why you are here?"

"Yeah, about how she wants Oscar and that asshole to be one happy little family?" Harry answered rolling his eyes in disgust.

"I take it you don't like Anthony, then?"

"He is a controlling dick. He behaves like he's our dad and he thinks it gives him the right to treat us like shit. It really is doing my head in knowing Oscar is still living with him."

"You were asked to leave?"

"Yeah, that asshole hit Oscar but when I stood up to him, I got kicked out. Anthony was really nasty about it too and Mum took his side."

"Anthony says you punched him?"

"Yeah, I did. I'm a black belt in Karate, he didn't stand a chance. Anthony hates anything he can't control. He stopped Oscar from doing Karate because he's afraid Oscar would do the same as me."

"It was so cool!" Oscar beamed and Harry put his arm around his little brother and brought him in for a hug.

"You two are very close, aren't you?"

"Yeah, we're best buds," Harry replied happily.

"Definitely!" Oscar agreed.

"What do you both think about Sara?" Michael asked tentatively.

Harry looked confused.

"Anthony's daughter," Oscar whispered to his brother.

"Oh, yeah. I think she is all right. We see her at school sometimes but she likes to avoid us. She hates Mum, which is fair, I suppose."

"We hate Anthony too," Oscar added.

Michael suspected that there was a bit of an attraction toward Sara on Harry's part.