Happy Divorce 1

Please read my biography first of all. (97.3)

Happy divorce

By Loony123tunes

It was a Wednesday night and I had a hard week so far from work. Tomorrow another day I was hoping it would improve for the last two days. I was sipping my drink staring at the TV wondering what went wrong. Was I to blame or was she to blame? Well, it was too late for us now.

I had to put the last nine dreaded months behind me once and for all. God nine months had passed. We could have had a crying baby in the house by now but that was not to be.

I had re-joined my old mates in the last few weeks. Two of them were still single and one was divorced like me. He had a hard time with it but mine was not too bad.

Soon it would be Friday night. I was going out with friends. Also, it was a girl's night out. I now hated girl's night out. Because that's where I am now. Divorced and still feeling sorry for myself. What the hell did I do wrong? I gave her everything she asked for and more besides. What did I do wrong? Kept on going through my head. I had to move on and get my life back on track.

Friday night the four of us would be heading out to a dance hall or a pub all night. The pub won a game of darts then a snooker match with a side bet only a Quid not much.

+ + + + +

Saturday morning. The post had arrived early for a change. It was just one letter. I sat down and used my silver letter knife to open it.

I got a divorce card!

It said," Happy divorce!"

Some smart jerk was taking the piss out of me. I opened the card and there was an inscription on one side of it in someone's neat handwriting. With an envelope inside the card.

+ + + + +

This is what was written on the card.

Sorry, please read the letter.

This is what I read.

First please accept my apologies for the breakup of your marriage. I should have stuck to my guns. I am going to tell you everything that went on from the first day. I met your ex-wife twelve months ago. That day I started where your ex-wife worked, I was given a guided tour of the place. Then I was introduced to your ex-wife. Our eyes meet. I was smitten with her and she was with me. I looked at her hands. I wanted to know if she was married or not. The rings were in plain sight she was married. Too bad. I had to stay away from her! That was my first thought.

Married women can cause problems for me, her and her husband. What I meant is cheating causing the husband to do something he would regret. As for me having a few broken bones, cuts and bruises. Cheating love affairs. I wanted none of them. I wish I had stuck to my guns back then.

Sorry, it was not my fault she wanted me. She forced me into causing your marriage to break up. I think you know that by now. I am a confirmed Bachelor. She is under the impression. I am going to marry her. That will never happen. She will be out the door. One day soon.

I bet she will be running back to you with all types of tales of what I have done to her. Pleading that she is sorry for what she did to you, And saying the same old things I love you and only you. Don't fall for it. She loves herself. But you know that already, don't you?

If I were you, move on and take that other job you had been offered months ago. Sorry about the sick card. But I think you are better off without her. She is a slut and I think she has been cheating on me for the last month. If she is, she's in for a big shock.

We worked closely together week in and week out and often had lunch. I kept my distance. But your ex got even more friendly with me at work. What I mean is her hand went up my leg and rubbed my cock through my pants.

Yes, I told her to stop but it fell on deaf ears. I had told her a dozen times to stop it. You are a married woman. And I only date single girls.

She did not stop, but I remembered the first day we met. When our eyes meet. I was smitten with her and she was with me.

If you remember she had to go away for two days for work. I was with her. We were away for three nights. After dinner on the first night, we were in her bedroom. We had only just finished our first sexual experience. When you rang her. I sat on the bed and all the time you were taking. She wanked me off and sucked my cock. Then I shot my load in her face. If I remember right, she told you she was eating a cream cake. The rest of the night I fucked her. But now to come to think about it she fucked me.

Monday and Wednesday nights. She had told you she had to try and finish that project she was working on. And then the same other projects she told you about. Were a load of lies she gave to you. We were in the hotel in room 421 but after some time you found out. From that friend of yours.

The Monday and Wednesday nights only lasted for two hours. She could not get enough of me and she wanted more and more time with me. We had to keep to a rigid time so you would not suspect anything.

Then she cancelled her girl's night out with her friends. In the same room, I fucked her she fucked me. I don't have to go into any detail. But she told me when she got home to you. As soon as her head hit the pillar, she was asleep dreaming about me. So, sorry I fucked up your marriage.

I wasn't going to tell you this but she had an affair for three months before I met her. With a chap in the same office. If you didn't know I am sorry for telling you but he lives. Round the corner from you. I believe he's married with a little boy. He is trying for a second affair with your ex. So, she is a slut. But you know that don't you?

I don't mind telling you that friend of yours who saw us. I wish he had seen us weeks before.

When you came into the hotel room that Friday night, I could not have seen a charmer person in all my life. I expected I was going to A and E. Thank you for not taking it out on me. It was all down to her, not me.

When she returned home you were starting to pack her things.

I believe you asked her the big question WHY? She did not give you a straight answer but kept on saying the same old thing. I love you; it was just sex with him. You slept in the main bedroom and she in the spare room.

After that night you filed for a divorce. She moved in with me. During the divorce, she wanted to stop me from being a confirmed Bachelor. That was never going to happen. I went out seeking single girls at night and went back home late. She knew exactly what I was doing. But she had to put up with it.

Well, last week I found out she was cheating on me; remember I am a confirmed Bachelor. I handed in my notice to quit my job last Friday. I will be moving on from the rented flat on Saturday next. The lease has a week to run.

Move on as best you can. She's a slut and loves herself. By the way, I have had better sex with women twice her age. She thinks she is a good gift to men. Beware when the doorbell rings soon.

Once again so sorry for fucking up your marriage. It was her, not me.

+ + + + +

The card had been sent to me last Tuesday. That meant he was moving as I read the happy divorce card. What was interesting? I had found out she had an affair with John Smith from round the corner and he was after her once again.

Well, I got on with my weekly house chores. You know the things to do in front and back gardens and wash the car. Then out for my weekly shop. On Sunday I do the weekly washing and then the ironing. Hover throughout the house then I went to the pub for lunch and later had my dinner. I pondered what was going to happen next. I had to wait at least a week. Her ex-lover had left. And the lease was up; she had no agreement with the landlord. He had set her up and she was going to have nowhere to live.

Three weeks had passed. It was a Saturday morning and there came a knock at the door. I was ready for her. I opened the door looking right through my ex-wife.

"Yes, Kim, nice to see you and how do I devise the honour of this visit," I said to her.

"Frank, may I come in? I want to discuss a few things with you," Kim said.

"Yes, come in, want a coffee and a biscuit since you have called in," I said.

"Coffee would be nice," Kim said in a quiet voice.

I poured out two coffees and I ate a biscuit. Waiting for her to speak. She was fidgeting all the time and I knew why. I looked at her. She was still as sexy as she was twelve months before but we were divorced. I waited for her to say something. Why did she call me? I could see on her face she didn't know what to say. Hell, no she had to start the conversation, not me. Drinking my coffee slowly and eating more than one of my biscuits. I let her sweat a little. Then at last she started to talk.

"Frank, I have made a terrible mistake," Kim said.

"What have I done wrong at work this time? How can I help you put it right? You know I can fix it for you with your boss. Tell me what you have done," I said.

Fidgeting more and more with every second. With her eyes looking down.

"Frank, it's not work. I have made a terrible mistake. I would like to make it up to you if I can," Kim said, sounding sincere.

"What is it, Kim?"

So, so sorry for what I did twelve months ago I should have told him to shove off. I told him I was a happy married woman but he seduced me. He was a cad. I should have told you right away. He forced me to divorce you. Frank, I love you so much and always have to please forgive me. He was a brut to me.

"Kim tells me what he has been doing to you. I will go and break every bone in his cheating body," I said with rage in my voice to convince her.

"No, no Frank, don't do that. I want us to get back together again. I want to be your wife again. I will do anything you ask of me. And be a good housewife. I need you to make you love me again. I loved you and only you and I know 100% you loved me. Please, Frank, I want to come back home and be a loving trusting wife. Like I was twelve months before he seduced me," Kim said.

I wanted to burst out laughing my head off, But I wanted to see how far she would go. She went over all the good times we had and the sex we had over and over. It was all whitewashed.

"Frank, can I come back home," Kim said.

"Kim please tell me where your lover is right now, I want a word or two with him."

"No, no Frank you will kill. I won't tell you please let us be man and wife. I love you so much."

"Kim, before I make my mind up, I have to tell you a few things," I said, smiling at her.

That made her think she was coming back to me. Not a fat chance of that.

"Kim let me speak without you butting in please."

She nodded.

"Kim, you cheated on me with that asshole. We got divorced. I was a broken man; You got half of everything. I have to take out a heavy loan to keep the house. Just a second I have something here that will interest you."

I got up and picked up the happy divorce card!

"Kim, I would like you to read this card before I give you my answer."

"Frank, I love you and only you. I will read it for you."

I handed her the envelope with the card and letter inside. She opened it and she pulled out the card and letter.

On the front, It said, "Happy divorce!"

"What jerk sent you this," she said.

"Kim read the letter please."

It was crunch time now.

She read the letter looking at me from time to time. Then the tears came.

"It's all true Kim. And you have a replacement lover that lives round the corner, John Smith, don't you? And as it says in the letter you love yourself. There is not a hope of love in you for me. God's gift to men. Don't make me laugh. I think you know my answer. And don't ever come back. By the way, I have a date tonight and if she has me, I will be married soon. You know where the door is and close it on your way-out Slut.

Thanks to an old dear friend.