British English spelling and grammar.
Some (a lot) of you don't like my abrupt endings. Cut and paste below for your emails:
What happened next? What happened next?
***
Happy birthday!
Doris entered the café and spotted Maureen straight away. She joined her at the table.
"Did you order for me?" she asked.
"Yes, Chili con carne with crusty bread; is that all right?"
"Perfect."
Their lunches arrived.
"You're looking a bit down in the dumps, Maur. Is something wrong?"
Maureen put down her fork.
"Nothing serious; Ed is away on a business trip again and it's my birthday. The same thing happened last year."
"Oh shit! I forgot too!" said Doris.
"No problem; anyway Ed didn't forget. He did his best to get out of this trip, but simply had to go. You know what his job is like. He'll call me at seven thirty from the hotel, and has booked us into a spa over the weekend."
"Well you say no problem, but I'm sorry I forgot. What are your plans for tonight?"
"Just vegging out in front of the telly I suppose."
"We can certainly improve on that Maur. Did you come in on the bus?"
"Yes. Ed took the car."
"Well meet me in the pub next door, say five thirty. We'll get a bit tipsy, pick up a pizza, and I'll get us a taxi to yours at seven fifteen so you can take Ed's call. "
"Oh, thanks; will you stay and watch a Blockbuster movie with me?"
"Sure -- get a romantic one; and I'll pick up a bottle of wine."
***
Maureen returned to work. She hadn't told Doris that her boss and workmates had also forgotten her birthday. She didn't want to sound like a complete misery. The afternoon dragged, but before long she was in The Plough. She got there for five twentyfive. As tipsy was Doris's plan, she ordered a Jack Daniels.
"Would you like anything in that miss?"
The barman was handsome and she loved the 'miss'.
"I think I will. Drop an ice cube in and add another Jack Daniels. It's my birthday!"
The barman passed the drink and said "Happy Birthday".
Maureen shuddered slightly as it burned its way down her throat. Her skirt rode high up her thighs as she climbed onto the bar stool. Let it, she didn't care.
"Why are you shuddering, don't you like it?"
A man appeared from a gloomy corner and stood next to her; he was more handsome than the barman. And this early, there was no-one else in the pub.
"I do like it. But the first sip always makes me shudder."
"Only the first one has that effect?"
"Yes, look."
She took another sip but it turned into a gulp. She swallowed more than she'd intended and narrowly avoided spluttering.
"OK. But that was only a slight twitch. I swallowed a bit more than I should have."
For some reason that made him smile.
"It would go down easier if you put something in it -- coke for example."
"I don't want anything in it. I like the taste."
He smiled again.
"My name's Adrian, but I prefer Ade. Like First Aid, I'm here to make you feel better!"
It was her turn to smile.
"My name is Maureen, but I prefer Maur; as in more than a handful!"
Inevitably his eyes dropped to her prominent bosom, and they both laughed. Her breasts seemed to join in the fun and wobbled, straining at buttons of her blouse.
"If you'll allow me, I'd like to buy you another drink. It's a little experiment; I want to show you something."
***
Doris was getting frustrated. There was a long queue of cars waiting to pull out of the company carpark. The main road was full of traffic -- all going home at the same time. She was going to be late. At last she got to the front and saw the problem. The traffic was backed up all the way to the lights. And the gap created by each red light never quite reached the carpark entrance. She wound her window down and smiled at each male driver. Eventually someone would flash their lights and let her out.
***
"It's called Bowmore, and it's a single malt. A good one should not make you shudder at all." said Ade. "When it slides down your throat, you should not feel burning, just a warm sexy glow."
He was still standing facing the bar, but was now closer to Maureen. She had turned towards him on her stool and was thinking she'd have to try to tug her skirt down sooner or later. Her panties might be on show, but there was no need to pull it too far; this guy was seriously sexy.
"I ought to let you know I'm waiting for a friend actually." she said.
"Well he must be mad, leaving a beautiful woman all by herself like this."
So, he thought she was waiting for a man; no need to enlighten him. One drink with a good looking stranger wouldn't hurt. He'd have to make himself scarce when Doris got here.
"My friend will think I'm being naughty."
"I think you are too!" he agreed. "Here, try your Bowmore."
"You've bought me a double!" she said. "You'll be getting me drunk."
"Sorry, I thought you preferred large ones. Don't worry I've got a large one as well."
***
Doris had waited long enough. The next gap was only a half chance but if she didn't take it, she'd never get to the Plough. She shot out, expecting to hear the blast of a car horn. Unfortunately, the guy had also seen the widening space and accelerated into it. The sound Doris heard was not a horn but a crunch, as she was rear-ended. There had been no time for him to sound the horn. Her seatbelt locked and she said 'Shit!" Exactly the same thing happened to the guy behind, who also said 'Shit!" After a moment they both got out, to the sound of many horns in the heavy traffic.
***
"You're not supposed to down it in one go!" Ade said. "It's supposed to be sipped and savoured."
He placed a hand on Maureen's exposed thigh and gripped it. It was as if he was reinforcing his irritation. She noticed it but made no move to stop him; it felt nice and warm - so did she. His other hand was on the bar and she put hers over it, comforting him.
"But I knocked back the Jack Daniels."
"That was only to get rid of it, so you could try the Bowmore. You really are naughty."
