With a group of wives we were discussing our husbands. (Believe me boys, you don't know how much we girls share about you!) The subject turned to handjobs: don't the men love them? Some of us had a regular night, some used it as a treat; some used it to stop being bothered, especially during periods. Some said it was boring, some said they loved doing it, and all agreed it was funny.
I should perhaps introduce myself. I am Fiona, married to Peter. We were pretty much an item at secondary school. I kissed some other boys and got groped more than I wanted, but I never had any form of sex with anyone but Peter, not even a handjob. I am fairly sure he never fucked anyone else, but he might have had a handjob because there were some sluts around. So when the others were talking of their experiences I was a bit envious, though I am totally happy with my dear husband, Peter.
Clarissa, of course, was the one who knew most about the technique. I think she was the cleverest girl in the school, though she did not get top marks. In hindsight, I think she deliberately kept her marks down to pretty good rather than excellent so as not to be thought a swot. But she had the most creative ideas and the best jokes. I think she could have been the leader in projects, but always suggested someone else, who was invariably pleased. And she was sexy, but in a funny way so other girls were not jealous, and the boys did not think her a slut.
Now she had one of her ideas.
"Why don't we swap? Girls that like doing it could do it to the husbands of those who did not. We could form a handjob club."
We were stunned. Then the penny dropped and we giggled. Clarissa was so funny, so crazy, and we loved her for it.
"Oh God, yes!" said Olivia. "I wouldn't mind someone taking over the chore for me!"
"I wouldn't mind helping out," laughed Emma. "It would be exciting to have another man at my mercy and make him come. And it wouldn't be cheating." Everyone paused, silent except for the whirring of mental cogs. Then we laughed. What an idea! Really funny, but in an exciting way, like the best dirty joke.
Time went by, and it was our standing joke. Someone would just mention "the club" or "HJC" to get smiles. It was the special girly secret of our group. We met regularly each Wednesday in the back room of a Greek restaurant. No charge for the room, and they kept bringing us different delicious dishes through the evening for a very reasonable overall price. Drinks of course, but what was best of all was that it was not as loud as the main restaurant, so we could chat to our heart's content. We were all married, of a similar age and had come together in various ways until this group sort of made itself. Men are lovely, but this was something else and a real change from our everyday lives.
Months went by. The someone said "HJC" and Clarissa said, "You know, we could really do it."
"Really?" said Emma, betraying her interest. "No we couldn't," in a voice which actually meant "Could we? But I don't like to ask."
"Yes," said Clarissa. "Providing each man thinks he is the only one, and that another woman fancies him. How hard would that be?" We agreed that it would not be difficult.
"But I think it would be very hard," said Emma. "At least he would be!" And we sniggered like schoolgirls.
"Well, actually it's only my own husband I find boring," said Olivia. "I wouldn't mind pulling another dong for a change." There was another pause.
So Clarissa made a suggestion, and the following scenario played out in various homes.
My hand was going up and down and my husband was concentrating but was not too far gone, when I remarked. "It's funny how some men don't like this much. Alice was telling me that she wishes she could do it again, because she really used to like it." He had heard, I noticed.