Stephanie was on a 'guilt trip.' That's what she called her drives back from a conference, meeting or training where she had been intimate with a man other than her husband. The long drive back was used to deal with the guilt she felt after each instance. She was not unfaithful on all her trips. She was careful. Stephanie flirted with men at wherever the others from her office wanted to go for drinks and dancing. She required a combination of good looks, married (therefore less likely to cause problems), and, more importantly a plan for meeting him in a place that guaranteed as much as possible, privacy. Condoms were required, and she bought some for each trip and disposed of the unused ones before returning home. If the combination was missing an element, she would go to her room, alone. There were always more meetings, trainings and conferences, usually 3-4 a year.
She never got beyond first names. No exchange of phone numbers. No addresses. No detailed personal information. No second meetings. Everything to cut the chances of getting caught.
Stephanie would go over in her mind all the things she had to lose. First was the love of her wonderful children, aged 10 and 13. They were smart, caring, athletic, and loving. They were typical kids in most ways, but they both obeyed their parents and seemed to enjoy family times together. They seemed to equally love their mother and their father. It would absolutely devastate them if their parents split. One would think fear of her kids' feelings would have made it less likely that Stephanie would risk cheating. Instead the heavy weight of the implications of getting caught made the risk higher and that increased the excitement value. Affairs weren't supposed to make sense, they just had to be exciting.
Secondly, she didn't want her husband to find out. She had gone through many boyfriends in college, using their sexual skills as a measure of future dates. A few wanted to get serious, but she got bored easily. As her college career wound down, she got desperate to find a husband. She was ready to settle down. Roger came along. He was bright, caring, and did well in the bedroom. It was a matter of timing as much as it was love for both of them.
Their marriage was successful from all visible measures. There were few arguments. They shared duties at home. They planned a budget together and stuck to it. They agreed on when to have kids and both shared most parenting duties. Actually, Roger had to talk her into having kids when they did, but Stephanie was glad once she became a mother. When one had to be gone or was sick, the other automatically took on the household duties of the other, without complaint. They were best friends.
Stephanie and Roger enjoyed their sex life. In a few years, they had explored most sexual activities except the bondage and similar freaky things. Sharing or swapping was not even discussed. They both seemed to believe in traditional marriage. Or so it appeared.
Stephanie did not seem interested in more than she had until one conference when one of her married, female colleagues had a rather obvious liaison with a man she met. Stephanie was curious and swore herself to secrecy if her co-worker would tell all. After hearing of the excitement of an affair, the great sex, and the declaration that the tryst would only affect her marriage in a positive way if at all, Stephanie was hooked. Stephanie, however, did wait to see if lightening would strike the woman dead or what would happen to her marriage. She began to be able to compartmentalize her marriage from a possible affair. One did not have to affect the other.
After a couple of years, nothing had happened negatively to her co-worker that Stephanie could see. Now she started active planning. Careful planning. The first two meetings where she had a chance, she did not feel she should take the risk. Then the next time, she met a guy who was not associated with the training, married, good looking and had a room to himself. She was super excited and paranoid. But everything went according to plan. Stephanie enjoyed the sex, said goodbye to the man, and returned home. Roger did not seem to suspect anything and was happy to receive a makeup blowjob as soon as she returned home. For a couple of weeks, she was anxious that somehow Roger would find out. Didn't happen. It was if the gods were blessing her actions.
From then on, Stephanie became more comfortable in hunting an acceptable lover. She never, however, went beyond her risk conditions. More often than not, she came home without having experienced another man, but neither was she punished for looking and lusting.
Stephanie worried about her co-workers. They were the ones most likely to notice something about her that would make them suspect hanky-panky. She was careful to flirt at the same level at each bar room adventure whether she would score that night or not. If she ever had to share a room with a colleague, she would do the flirting and drinking, then return to the room when her roommate did. No sex occurred on those trips, but it established the assumption among her co-workers that she drank, flirted and went to her room alone even when she did not have a roommate. She never asked for a single room. When it happened she had one, it happened.
Carol was the one she worried about the most. She had been a slut (by her own admission) before going through a conversion experience at a revival. Since then she decided to become the voluntary conscience of the women at work. She noted any clothing that she considered too sexy or suggestive. The women with naturally good figures were often the subject of her criticism although their husbands or boyfriends saw no problem. Good bodies are usually seen regardless of the clothes. If Carol was on one of the trips, Stephanie was on alert. If Carol went to bed before Stephanie, Stephanie would wait a while and, if not too late, might go on the hunt. Usually if Carol went, Stephanie went without.
Another problem was Joel. He was a colleague, one of very few men in this social work office. He was definitely good looking, and he had the self-reported reputation of having a large tool. He hit on all the eligible and supposedly ineligible women at work. Joel saw out of town meetings as time to increase the notches on his belt. All other things considered, Stephanie would have loved to try him out. After a few drinks and the lack of better prospects, Stephanie would consider lowering her conditions for copulation and take Joel up on one of his many offers. She never gave in. Too risky.
