Growing Pains & Pleasures

After class on Tuesday, the study group got together at Jim's apartment. Things were a little tense for a while, as this was our first time back together since I slept with all of them, after the mid-term exam. Fortunately everyone was very cool about it and after a few humorous remarks, we all relaxed. I made it clear from the beginning that there would be no repeat performance that night. No one pressed me or Debbie any further. I think they realized that they had a good thing going and they didn't want to jeopardize it by pushing themselves on us. It was this relaxed, caring attitude that led me to feel that everything I did with these guys was OK. We were friends sharing what we had with each other. It was my chance to grow and develop my self as an individual. My secret life at college was staying secret.

Things at home had become a little involved. Tom and I had switched spouses with a couple across the street several times in the last month. Tom was very happy with that arrangement and encouraged me to feel free to expand my activities. At a party over the weekend, we had found out there was a group of neighbors that was into wife swapping. Tom had asked me if I would be willing to get involved. He had already agreed to sleep with Cathy, one of the neighbor's wives. She had caught her husband, Rob, with another woman in the neighborhood and was getting even with him. Her husband knew she was going to sleep with another guy, he just didn't know who she was going to choose. She had given Tom a blow job at the party this past weekend.

I told Tom I didn't think it was wise for us to get too involved. I was getting worried about where this all could lead. I admit I was still very dependent on Tom and I was afraid that he might leave me. I didn't say no, I could just see lots of potential for things getting messy! Tom kept the pressure up all weekend, but I wouldn't actually agree to participate. He told me that he was going to see Cathy Thursday night when I was at school. I had mixed feelings about that, but I knew that I couldn't stop Tom from doing it. He felt too strongly attracted to the idea, and I felt some guilt about my college affairs.

Thursday came quickly and I sat in my lab class, trying to focus on our project, but thinking about Tom and Cathy. I hoped that this would be a one time thing and we wouldn't get too involved. I was so worked up over it that I didn't go to the apartment with the study group after class. I went home to wait for Tom. I sent the baby-sitter home at 10:30 and waited until 12:30 before I went to bed. Tom never came home! I couldn't bring myself to call Cathy and Rob's house, so I worried all night long. Tom finally called from work at about 11:00 the next day. He said that they had fallen asleep and he just left for work in the morning. I yelled and screamed at him on the phone, angry at having worried all night and scared that he had fallen for Cathy.

Tom got home Friday afternoon and we just kind of tiptoed around each other. At dinner Tom asked me if I was still mad. I didn't even answer. He apologized over and over, telling me how much he loved me and how unimportant Cathy was to him. He did his very best job of sweet talking me. He was careful not to mention my big mistake and abortion. But I knew that it was there, just below the surface, if I got too critical of his behavior. I relented and kissed him, saying,"Don't ever put me through a night like that again!" He asked me if I would go across the street to Mark and Donna's with him later. He said Mark had invited us over and he had forgotten to ask me. With more than a hint of sarcasm, I asked him if he was planning to screw Donna again. He said, "No, we didn't talk about that at all. They just wanted to talk and have a few beers." I said I didn't know if I could get a baby-sitter this late. Tom called the neighborhood girl who usually watched the kids and she agreed to come over at 7:30.

I called Donna and asked her what was up. She said nothing in particular, just a chance to wind down from the week. We arrived just after 7:30 and went into the den. My heart jumped when I saw Cathy sitting on the couch with her husband Rob. I looked at Tom and he just shrugged as if he was also surprised. Donna handed us both a drink and pulled me over to the bar. "Don' t be pissed! Let me explain what's going on." I was already so mad I was ready to storm out! Donna continued to tell me to calm down. Tom and Mark stood on the other side of the room and avoided eye contact with us. So did Cathy and Rob.

Donna told me that she had known Tom was going to sleep with Cathy on Thursday, so she had invited Rob to come to their house to wait things out. She said that he accepted and they had a few drinks and talked about the whole swapping thing and Rob getting caught with Barb. Rob wasn't mad at Cathy for sleeping with Tom, he just didn't want her to leave him. Anyway, Donna said they got a little drunk and she seduced Rob with no difficulty at all. I remembered that as we had walked home from the party last weekend, she had said she would sleep with Rob.

"OK," I said. "What's all that got to do with tonight?" Donna continued, "There's lots more!" I had already slurped down half of my drink and Donna refilled it. She told me Mark had known about Rob coming over and she had agreed to let him watch her seduce Rob. She and Rob had gone to the bedroom and undressed each other. They had been going at it for about 20 minutes when Mark just walked in naked. She said Rob just about leaped out of bed, thinking he had been caught again! Even as angry as I was, I had to crack a smile at the image of Rob being surprised again. I looked at him and saw that he had seen me grin.

Donna said that she and Mark explained what was happening and Rob relaxed. He took a while to get hard again though. I laughed again at this. I had emptied my glass and I knew I was drinking way too fast. Anyway, she and Mark fucked in front of Rob and when he got hard again, Donna sucked him while Mark continued to fuck her. Mark and Rob switched places several times until both finally came. When they finished, they decided to check on Cathy and Tom. The three of them went back to Rob's house and found Tom and Cathy asleep in the bedroom. Donna got into bed with them and began to stroke Tom. He and Cathy awoke at the same time and were bewildered by this other woman in the bed! Donna said she just kept on kissing and stroking and Mark crawled in next to Cathy. A few more minutes and everybody was fucking everybody. Rob joined in and Cathy never missed a stroke!

Donna said that Cathy went wild in bed! She wanted all three guys at once. She straddled Tom riding his cock and bent forward onto his chest so Mark could enter her ass. Rob knelt beside the bed so she could try to suck him as the other guys pumped her. All of this was accompanied by Cathy screaming obscenities as she came. Cathy wanted to try everything she had ever heard of sexually! She swallowed, licked, ate and did everything should think of with the guys. Then Donna said Cathy wanted to eat her cunt! Donna was happy to oblige, and as Cathy licked and sucked her to an orgasm, Mark fucked Cathy one more time from behind. Donna said her and Mark then went home and left the three of them in bed.

I stood there in shock, not believing my ears! I'd had another drink and was about half way drunk by now. I don't think I had ever been as angry as I was right then! Tom just grinned foolishly and Cathy and Rob still avoided my eyes. Mark had joined Donna at the bar and was trying to calm me down. It was the same old stuff. " Nobody's getting hurt. Everybody still loves their spouse. This is just for fun. It's only sex, not real or meaningful!" It was the same line Tom had used on me for years and I was still susceptible to it! Both Mark and Donna were hugging me and reassuring me everything was OK. Tom came up to us and told me he was sorry, but he knew I would have gotten really upset if everybody hadn't been there to make me feel that things were OK. He told me how much more he loved me than ever before! I broke down and just starting sobbing! I don't know why, because I had done much worse. The whole thing was just out of control and I didn't know what to do. I just let myself go completely.

I sobbed as Tom held me and I felt Mark and Donna patting my back and telling me not to worry. Rob and Cathy had also approached and the six of us were huddled together around the bar. The five of them had been in bed together less than 24 hours ago! They were still mentally in tune with each other and I was feeling left out and abandoned as well as deceived. Tom began kissing me and I felt passions rising in me! I didn't want this to happen, but I was emotionally out of control! I continued to cry as Tom kissed me and pulled me against him. I know I was mumbling as I cried, feeling sorry for myself for what they had done and for what I had done that no one knew anything about!

Tom's hands moved over my body, squeezing my bottom and then caressing my breasts. I felt more hands on me and someone else kissing my neck as Tom kissed my mouth. I knew what was happening to me, but it was like an out of body experience! It was like I was watching helplessly from above the room as people touched me and began to remove my clothes! I didn't want it to happen, but I couldn't make myself do anything to stop it! It was a horrifying feeling of uncontrollable helplessness! Somehow, we all had moved over to the couch. My blouse was undone and my shoes had been removed as they laid me on the couch. Tom pulled my blouse off and undid my bra while someone else pulled my jeans off, my panties coming off at the same time! I was still sobbing unintelligibly! Why were they doing this? Why wouldn't I stop them? I could see my entire naked body as I laid on my back on the couch! I know that's impossible, but I remember clearly seeing myself spread out as I looked at myself from above!

Tom was kissing my mouth, Rob was fondling my breasts, Donna's hands were stroking my hair and my head. Cathy was rubbing my feet and calve s while Mark gently ran his fingers over my cunt! I had fantasized being the object of multiple attention like this, and it had been a turn -on, but I didn't like what was happening to me now! I had absolutely no control over them or myself! I don't know how long the touching and kissing went on.

People moved around me, mostly the three guys, changing places. Donna and Cathy just touched my hair, shoulders and legs, not my breasts or cunt. They didn't kiss me either. I saw Tom undressing and watched him approach me with a hard cock. He knelt with one knee on the couch and moved next to my face. I started sucking him and felt a deep sense of shame as I did so. That sense of shame stayed with me throughout the evening. I felt my legs being spread and saw Rob kneeling between them his cock in his hand. Rob was shorter than Tom, kind of fat and probably 40 years old. I didn't want him to be in me, but in seconds he was pumping himself deep into my cunt. Tom was still sliding in and out of my mouth. I know I wasn't crying anymore, but I felt inside like I was still sobbing with hopelessness! It's a feeling of total despair that I can't describe any better than that!

Cathy and Donna were busy with Mark on the floor next to the couch. He was lying on his back and they were all naked. They were stroking and sucking him as he played with their cunts. Tom and Rob changed places and I just laid there, not protesting or resisting anything they did. I could hear Tom directing Rob to switch. Rob was asking if I liked this or that kind of thing, but he wasn't talking to me. He was asking Tom! I was just there being used for their pleasure! I remember Tom giving me more to drink and I drank it down with a gulp! Tom came first, pounding me from behind as I laid over the arm of the couch. Rob was standing beside the arm, holding my head and slamming against the back of my throat. He shot all over my face a few seconds later. Again I was overcome with a feeling of shame and despair, cum dripping off me as I lay almost paralyzed by hopelessness!

Cathy knelt in front of me and washed my face with a warm washcloth. Donna began to massage my back and legs as I lay in the same position that the men had left me. I closed my eyes and just let them touch me and play with me. They were so gentle compared to the guys rough and urgent pounding. Donna turned me over and began sucking my breasts and kissing my neck. I knew that she had this bi-sexual desire for me since the first time we had swapped husbands and been in the same bed. Cathy washed my cunt gently and began rubbing my clit gently and stroking the outside of my cunt. I didn't fight it, although the idea of being with another woman has never appealed to me. It just felt so good after what I had been feeling with Tom and Rob. They both continued to play with me as the three guys watched.

I know that I had an orgasm as they touched me and stroked my body. That is something unusual for me. Tom rarely can bring me to an orgasm with just his hands. As the two women moved around me, I found myself touching and kissing back. Physically it felt good, but mentally I was horrified to find myself with a woman! I know I kissed and sucked both Donna and Cathy's breasts, and I played with their cunts with my hands. They both ate each other's cunts, but I didn't go that far. I think I was to the point where I would have done it, but no one pushed me in that direction. This went on for some time, until Tom and Rob got hard again.

Donna then left the room with Rob, and Tom and Cathy disappeared also. Mark and I stayed in the den and had sex for another hour. Mark hadn't cum yet, as far as I am able to recall, so he came a couple times while we were alone. I sucked him for awhile, but he didn't cum that way. He let me ride him and I came several times before he finally did. We just laid there and fondled each other for awhile and then we did it again, changing positions a couple of times before Mark came again. We dozed for a little while and when I woke up, everyone was back in the den and at least partially dressed. I put my blouse back on and found my panties. It was almost 1:00 in the morning! We had been there for five hours! I was very quiet and ashamed of my lack of control or courage to stop what had happened. Everyone was very nice, but I felt really low. We went home shortly after.

The next morning, Tom told me that Mark had put some tranquilizers in my drinks because I had been so emotional at first. I realized then why I had felt so powerless and unable to control what I did! I was furious! Tom said he didn't know about the drugs until after Mark had put them in my drink. He thought I had been just fine and saw no problems with what I had done. My shame and anger burned within me all that weekend! I knew I was a worthless piece of flesh! Tom had used me to get to the other women. I was his playing chip in this neighborhood swap club. I believed he didn't care what I did or who I did it with, as long as he was able to have access to Cathy and Donna and the others. I just gave up at that point. It was too much to sort out in my mind. It would be some time before that would take place!