Some relationships are like coal. They take a while to ignite and they burn with a warm, glowing fire that lasts and lasts. My relationship with Will is like brushwood. It catches alight immediately with the slightest of sparks and flares up into a bright consuming fire. I feel lucky to have had such a bright burning relationship but all too quickly it is gone and all that is left is ash.
I resent Will and contort my hands into fists with which to beat him when I think of what he has made me into, and yet I cannot do without him. I am scared of losing him too. I have lost confidence in my ability to make it without him. Besides I have become inured to my hands drifting over my skirt and raising the hem, of presenting myself to strangers. It has become second nature to me and when I meet a man for the first time my thoughts go immediately to wondering what his sexual tastes might be rather than just being curious and open to meet him.
Yet for all that, Will has the power to make me cum so powerfully. I am addicted to him in the rather unhealthy need to experience that sexual pleasure. I whore myself not just to keep Will but also because he rewards me when I tell him of my exploits. His brutal treatment of me is my fix and I cannot, will not, do without it. He walks in one day smiling and says,
"Today is my birthday."
I beam back at him, "You should have told me, I would have got you something."
"Well I have something for you instead, something that will take you further. You have been such a good and faithful learner I thought I would need to use this before now, but so far I have not needed to. I want to reward you, take you further. Are you ready to go further?"
I am scared, scared of myself, scared of how deep I am willing to be led down this road. A voice inside my head screams at me to turn back, and yet the escape from my world, the lure of how powerfully I will cum and all I have to do is follow. Each step I take makes it harder to resist the next one, as to do so would be to acknowledge what I have done. I have no idea what he has in mind, I know it will diminish me further and yet I am already dripping in anticipation. I can't speak, can't tell him this is what I want most of all. I couldn't bear to hear myself say it. All I can do is nod my head, consenting beforehand to whatever he has in mind.
My heart is thudding as he wipes my face with a cooling damp cloth. Even that, even the way he cools my skin as he heats me up, the way he tends to me leaves me panting for him whilst he scares me with where he might lead me. He pushes his weight off the bed and stands up.
"Take off your skirt and heels and kneel on all fours on the bed."
I jump up to do as I am told as quick as I can. As the skirt falls away he looks at my pussy.
"It's time you rid yourself of that hair. It's unsightly having that bush down there. Go and shave it off quickly, and I will bring you some hair removal cream tomorrow to rub over your mound and around your cunt from now on. It will sting a bit, but then you won't mind hurting a little for me will you? In a few weeks your hair will have completely died off, and it will stop growing. I want you to become completely bare down there, but until then each time your hairs grow back you will see they will be thinner. You will witness this gradual, but permanent change in your body. In the meantime you are to keep it clean and shaved every day so the punters can see what they are paying for."
Having received my instructions I head into the bathroom. I sit on the toilet and think about what he has just said. I have shaved down there before. Not completely, not like a whore, but for wearing a bikini on the beach in summer. I always leave a little tuft on my mound that will not show, but now it is all to go. I am a little nervous about nicking myself with the razor: all those folds and right down around my entrance, where it is so hard to see. I pick up a small mirror and angle it between my thighs. I think about what he said about the hair remover, how it will be permanent. And then I laugh at how stupid I am being. As if any of the other changes were less permanent. I take the razor from the shelf and lather up my thatch. The razor sweeps through the dark forest and leaves a swathe of naked flesh bright and pink.
On entering the room I feel even more naked having my cunt denuded and displayed in front of Will. It forces me to realise I am the merchandise and he the trader. He nods and smiles in approval as I stand with my hips thrust forward as he runs his finger over my mound. I hope he is not disappointed now my fleshy pussy lips are revealed.
"Good girl. Now you look the part. It is much better stripped bare like that." He slides his hand between my legs and his fingers sink into the soft folds that wait invitingly for him. He squeezes my lips alternately between his thumb and finger pulling them down and stretching them. My legs buckle, my knees part and slips his finger into my wet opening. I love the feel of him on my nakedness and I love the way he controls and owns my body.
"Now climb up on the bed."
Still nervous I mount the bed as directed and get on my hands and knees facing the wall. He swiftly wraps some cord around my wrists and pulls them tightly together so that they are bound with my wrists locked together. I look down at them passively as he knots the cord and then pulls it towards the head of the bed. My body slumps as my arms are drawn forward, and my ass rises up into the air behind me. He secures the end of the cord to the head of the bed so that I cannot turn my body. He is round behind me now and I can hear him pulling at something heavy. I feel the bed move as he places whatever it is behind me and then his hands are on my ankles. He pulls my leg across the bed in jerks as I shift my weight. Then I feel the cold hard snap of steel lock around my ankle. I try to twist round to see, but he is now pulling at my other leg and soon I feel the steel band around that ankle too.
My legs were splayed wide apart and I can't draw them together. I have no purchase with which to move and I hear Will walk around me. The silence is only interrupted by the thudding of the blood in my ears. My stomach flutters in fear. I am so exposed and have no idea what is in store for me, but I know I conceded to it beforehand. Something cold and limp trails across my back. I shudder involuntarily.
"I can feel your fear and yet you love this. I see the beads of sweat form as you wait, helpless, without knowing what is about to befall you." He comes and stands in front of me and I feel the limp thing trailing across my face. The smell of leather hits my nostrils, it's the smell of stables, of saddling horses. He pulls back and my eyes widen as I see he is holding a riding crop.
I lower my head and lie there waiting. I know what is coming. I hate that he is going to beat me and the thought of it catches my breath, makes my heart palpitate and as I steel my muscles in readiness I feel the first drops of my wetness ooze from me. I hear the swish in the air before the galvanising, electrifying, attention demanding blow forces all thought out of my brain. My eyes bulging I stare into the bedclothes and yelp. He lands the riding crop again and again on my upturned ass. Each blow is accompanied by a scream. My mind is being disciplined into getting past the last blow and preparing for the next. I float in this space. All that exists is my punishment and me. I would do anything to escape the torture, and yet I do not move. I pull on my bonds but cannot break free. Then suddenly he stops and his fingers are between my far flung thighs. He pulls and squeezes hard on my clit.
My body is thrown into confusion, pushed off balance. One minute I am experiencing searing pain and the next intense pleasure. He grabs me and demands of me. The pleasure is intense. Then just as quickly it is gone. I feel him shift his weight as the mattress moves and the pain rips through me once more. Disconcerted I feel the throb in my clit at the same time as he lands blow upon blow on my ass. My body is being overwhelmed. I cannot tell what to feel. It is like those times when your fingers are so cold and you put them in water that is too warm. Your fingers feel hot and cold at the same time. That is how I am feeling, running from the pain and begging for the tingle of his fingers on my clit again. When it all seems it will be too much, he stops and pulls at my clit some more. I buck and beg him to make me cum. He continues to rub and pull on my clit until he can sense I am about to explode with the pent up pleasure. Then he becomes merciless. My body is trying to cum as the pain floods through me. I am kept perpetually writhing between pain and pleasure.
When he fills me with pain I try to escape by making myself cum, I try desperately to keep in my mind the feel of his fingers upon my craving as I his blows land on my red raw flesh. I feel so pathetic wanting to cum while he is punishing me. I tell myself I need the pain because only then can I get the pleasure too. I need the pain because I am a filthy whore. I need the pain because it is from Will and I have given him the right to inflict this on me. Somehow it just feels right, and maybe by accepting it I will become worthy enough to make him stay. The endless cycle of being pleasured and receiving his pain continues. I never thought I would be able to take so much, and yet I realise with a jolt after some time that I don't want it to end. I need his pain because through it he gives me pleasure.
"Are you enjoying being whipped?"
He is always one step ahead of me. He knows exactly the thoughts running through my mind. My sobs turn into panting. "Yes... yesss... don't stop. I need it. I need you to punish me."
"Then beg me to go on punishing you. Let me hear you admit you need me to punish you."
"I do... I do..." My voice trails away as the truth settles like a smog in my mind.
"I need it. Beat me. Beat your whore. Your whore deserves to be punished!" I am screaming. It is true, he had taken me to another level. I knew I hated the punishment, the beating and yet I still didn't want it to stop. The old me would find this unfathomable, and yet this is who I have become.
Finally he brings the lesson to an end. I am still panting long after he has stopped and is uncoupling my legs from the bar that has been forcing them wide. I can still feel the throb in my ass cheeks from his punishment. I figure they must be bright scarlet they are so hot. He unties me and tells me to lie on my back. The rough bedding against my raw skin forces a cry from my mouth and yet still I comply. Will drops my dildo on the bed next to me. I pick it up and slide it effortlessly into my sopping cunt. Soon I will be cumming, I am already so close.
"Straighten your back and push your tits out for me."
