Mr. NaΓ―ve and Ms. Gullible got married one day. They had a baby named Cheryl. Luckily, they were apparently good looking because their daughter was absolutely gorgeous. The first time I met her, she had long, black straight hair, bedroom eyes, and a 34-23-35 body that stood a statuesque 5'10". Every man's wet dream.
I am Raymond, or Ray, or Ray-Ray, or R.J. thanks to the comedian R.J. Johnson. I was in a bar the first saw the woman I found out was named Cheryl. She was with a herd of young women that had attracted a pack of wolves. They had culled Cheryl from the herd and were closing in for the kill. I watched as one would order a liquor straight, then when Cheryl was not looking, dump the liquor in her drink, thereby doubling its potency. It seemed to be having the intended affect. She was fighting off their hands less and less.
My rescuer senses were on alert. I was fidgeting on my bar stool trying to decide whether or not to intervene, especially since she was not asking for help and there were four wolves to my one rescue dog. Suddenly, Cheryl's herd decided to leave. They said something to her and left. Cheryl looked stupefied but was soon distracted by the attention of the men.
As the women passed me on the way out, I asked why they were abandoning their friend. The red-head said, "She does this every time we go out. She attracts the men for us, but sometimes, like tonight, the men only want to be around her. They think she is easy after a few drinks, and they are right. Don't worry, one or more of the guys will take Cheryl to his place and then take her home after they're done with her."
The red-head's attitude pissed me off. I edged closer to the pack to catch the conversation. The men were competing on who could tell the most vulgar double entendre they could think of. Cheryl never caught on and wondered out loud why the men were laughing. The man were pressing for Cheryl to go out to the car with them. She said she had a ride, so she didn't understand why she had to go to their car. Cheryl complained that they said they wanted to 'show her something' but wouldn't tell her what the something was. They appeared to have just about talked her into it when I intervened.
I came up to the group and asked Cheryl to dance. The men objected, saying she was with them. Cheryl protested that she was with her girlfriends although she didn't know where they were. "I came to dance, and you guys just want to get me outside." Luckily, I must have looked good enough to Cheryl that she accepted my invitation, much to the chagrin of the wolf pack.
On the dance floor, Cheryl plastered herself to my body. I stopped and asked her to put a little distance between us. She was surprised. "All the guys seem to want to dance really close. Why don't you?"
"I would like to get to know you a little better before I feel your breasts against my chest, and you feel my bulge against your mound."
Cheryl's mouth dropped open. "Is that what they were doing? OMG." That's when I first became sure of Cheryl's parentage.
She was having trouble standing up, she was so intoxicated. I informed her that her girlfriends had abandoned her. Cheryl asked out loud, "How will I get home?"
I said that I would like to take her for a cup of coffee at Starbucks, and then I would take her home. She said, "Okay." It didn't phase her in the least to have a perfect stranger take her home. I sighed in disbelief.
We went back to the table where the wolfpack was waiting. She grabbed her purse and said, "Thanks for the good time, guys. I'm going home now."
The wolfpack protested and the guy who had groped Cheryl the most stood up, so he was right in my face. "You ain't taking her anywhere, asshole. We've been paying for her drinks all night. If anyone takes her home, it will be us. So, fuck off man before I put you down."
I pulled Cheryl away from the standoff. "Wait there. I will only be a second." I was hoping my apparent confidence would lower his. It didn't.
Just as the fight was about to commence, one of the guys said, "Wait a minute. Aren't you Ray 'The Annihilator' Johnson?" I nodded. The guy informed his friend of my reputation as a MMA fighter. "Dude, he's like undefeated. Puts most of his opponents in the hospital." I corrected the guy saying I was 13-2. By then the bar fight that never was, ended. They wished us both a good night.
Cheryl commented as we left, "I thought MBAs were like accountants." Thus started my first of many explanations to Cheryl. I was smart enough to explain without appearing to 'teach.' I never wanted her to feel like she was dumb. NaΓ―ve and gullible, yes. Dumb, no.
We sat down over a cup of coffee and talked. Well, she talked mostly. It seemed to be her nature to do so. I didn't object as I figured her brain cells needed activity to counteract the dulling effects of the alcohol. She basically told me her life story. Here is my spin on what she said.
Cheryl had been very popular in high school. She had a series of steady boyfriends and breakups. Somehow, she missed the connection between her requiring them to go steady and her giving them the privilege of bedding her. Her grades were too low for college, so she became a teacher's aide for a kindergarten class. She loved the job and was very good with young children. Cheryl stayed popular and had been engaged three times since high school. Again, no ring, no nookie. Her hope was to find a good man and have a family. She only looked, however, in places where good men seldom frequented, current company included.
By the time I took her home, I knew there was more to her than beauty, although I sure didn't discount the value of that. She was a warm, caring, trusting, vulnerable, compassionate woman. I was a goner.
I walked her to her front door and said, "Good night" and turned towards my car.
She said, "Wait. I thought you had a good time."
"I did. Why do you think I didn't?"
"Well, usually the guy wants to kiss and caress me and try to get me to invite him in."
"Cheryl, you are a special girl. I want us to take our time to get to know each other. I think our relationship might be able to last a long time."
"A few months?"