Spring break. A late winter warm spell had brought on an early thaw. My fiancée, Tam (short for Tamara) and I, Prof. Phil Decker, were on the road headed for a two week wilderness adventure to unwind from the grind of university life and enjoy our last chance to spend some deep quality time together before the big push thru the final quarter and preparations for our impending wedding (Tam insisted on being a June bride to appease her very traditional parents).
Tam is the daughter of a Boston Irish naval officer and a pretty high class Filipina escort that he unintentionally knocked up (not Tam, her older brother Pat). I first met her as a recent graduate in a cultural anthropology seminar I was leading; she was pursuing her masters in psychology. She quickly distinguished herself among the other students, confidently outspoken yet respectful, bringing insightful questions that challenged my understanding without challenging my authority. The following semester she entered my forensic anthropology seminar (my specialty) and it became apparent that we shared similar interests in research though approaching them from our respective disciplines.
We also discovered a shared affinity for spicy Thai food, cold microbrew ales, and late 80s pop/rock (a relic of my high school days and her early childhood) during many late nite sessions delving into profound explorations of the underpinnings of human social behavior. As the intimacy and intensity of our exchanges grew, it became apparent that there was a special magical something forming between us. Yet we maintained our professional boundaries with great effort thru the school year's end and planned a joint 'research trip' for the summer months.
That summer was spent journeying across the western states in a rented poptop VW van with all amenities, interviewing Native Americans and documenting life on the reservations, a personal passion of mine and the focus of an academic study I'd been working on for several years and was planning to transition into a popular coffee table book (academia not being the highest paying enterprise, I was shrewdly piggybacking a future passive income scheme on my professional life to build up my nest egg). The project also engaged my passion for photography (a useful skill I'd acquired as an undergrad) and I also got to employ it in some rather more personal documentation of my lovely companion, who turned out to be quite an exhibitionist when properly prompted.
As we had both suspected, in the looser atmosphere, professional boundaries dissolved and we found ourselves falling for each other and headlong into a wildly passionate love affair fueled by the easy freedom of the open road, the beautiful vistas we travelled thru, and the intense emotions often evoked in the meetings we had with our study's subjects. Yet we realized this illicit relationship would not be viewed favorably by the university admin and faculty, and as I hadn't got tenure yet I had to be careful. So by the end of our trip, we had come to three mutual decisions: first, Tam would not attend my seminars the following year; second, we would continue our love affair in a very discreet manner; third, we would be engaged to marry following her graduation the following spring. After the wedding and honeymoon we planned to work together finishing up the book, for which we would share credit (the scholarly study being submitted for publication before the school year ended), while Tam decided what to do next. I acquired a custom silver and turquoise engagement ring from a Navejo artist friend and surprised her with a formal proposal in a Pueblo kiva on the return leg of the trip.
The time since then had passed in a flurry of activity, each of us focused on our individual academic efforts yet planning in plenty of rendezvous to share about our work and to delight in each other's company. Going for holiday visit with Tam's family was a rare experience; her father Stewart was a strapping picture of aristocracy gone a bit awry, with a well cultivated wit and a baudy sense of humor; her mother Maria, a paragon of domestic efficiency and graceful hospitality with a sultry, saucy edge and a steely will that kept the home and family shipshape to Stu's satisfaction. Pat, Tam's older brother by two years, was a successful civil engineer who had given the folks some grief by coming out as gay during college, falling for a frat brother, so expectations were higher for Tam to produce some heirs, boosting excitement for our union. Tam's younger sister Bri, short for Brigid, an unexpected late pregnancy, had just turned 16 and was giving her folks grief with the new found freedom conferred by a drivers license and the corollary mischief of a spirited teen hottie. We drank too much Irish coffee and openly shared confidences that I never would have expected with potential in laws. Overall I was favorably impressed with the family, appreciating their genuine warmth and cohesiveness despite disparate values, and it seems I passed muster and was joyfully accepted as a prospective addition to the clan.
***
So here we were in the lush blossoming of springtime, taking this last chance getaway to revel in each other and the delights of nature in an uncomplicated way, knowing soon we would be in full press of academic responsibilities and familial obligations. We had along with us my faithful companion Bowser, a Boxer/Rottweiler mix I'd acquired as an older puppy shortly after I took up residence at the university six years ago. He had been great company for me in the first lonely years of adjusting to the new social setting at the school, and Tam had fallen head over heels for him (I'm pretty sure it was mutual) when we returned from our summer journey, during which he'd stayed at a kennel out in the country. We three had shared many smaller outings but this was our first serious family vacation.
I had booked us a couple days in a plush cabin at a hot springs resort, our first destination, then we would be heading out for some backcountry camping for a week at a secluded mountain lake I had stumbled across years ago while backpacking in the area and visited frequently since then. Bowser had accompanied me to both sites before and was a great sport, adapting easily to the environs, and several of the staff at the resort had become especially enamored by his curious nature and big watery eyes over the years.
The resort we were heading to is a bastion of old hippie/new age culture, a clothing optional community rife with yoga and massage that had a reputation of respectable sensuality with a dash of tantric hijinx. I was trying to prepare Tam for the inevitable shock I expected to her rather more conservative upbringing; not that I was too worried, I'd already teased out a fairly kinky and frisky strand woven thru her core and was hoping the atmosphere at the resort might help to ease her residual hang ups concerning propriety.
Our conversation had veered into contested territory; the subject: my primary sexual fantasy, one that had received a fair share of discussion during the past year, sharing her with another man. It was something deeply embedded in my own sexual psyche as I had lost my virginity in a three way at a graduation party with my two best friends, Blake and Shelby, who had dated throughout high school, and we had kept the triad alive thru many summer escapades before we all headed our separate ways for college.
Since then I had attempted to reenact the special dynamic I crave whenever possible, and tho I'd had a few marginally satisfying experiences during my college years, I found, much to my surprise, that the majority of women I encountered carried insurmountable shame around the idea of having sex with multiple men. My first marriage had ended badly after only a couple years as my wife was shocked by the idea when I finally got up the nerve to ask if she would be interested in trying it; she took it as a sign I didn't really love her and she ended up fucking around on me for spite before filing for divorce. So I had made a point of broaching the subject rather early in my relationship with Tam, when I sensed she could be a keeper but before things got too heavy with commitment.
Tam's position on the subject was that she could imagine it would be a lot of fun, and was open to consider it if the right opportunity arose, but knowing her own tendency toward jealousy, and doubting my claim to be completely free from that noxious emotion, she was worried that it might disturb our equilibrium. She held the expert opinion that it was psychologically impossible not to be triggered into territorial possessiveness concerning our sexual partners, that it was evolutionarily hard wired in the brain as a part of our pair bonding mating strategy.
But as I knew firsthand from my experience and had verified thru ethnographic research, a lack of strict sexual exclusivity for women was not only highly enjoyable but had actually been sanctioned in many cultures around the world, especially in more primitive, non-patriarchally oriented cultures. I'd brought along a copy of 'Sex at Dawn' (which makes a well documented case for primal polyamory as a probable norm for our tribal ancestors) a bit of light reading to stimulate conversation. Tam had just pulled it out of the cubby in the passenger door and had been perusing it intently.
"So Professor," Tam challenged me as I steered my Pathfinder along the highway winding through the foothills, "how can you be so certain you wouldn't flip out if you watched another man fucking your wife?" fixing me with a quizzical glare that I took to question my sanity, morality, and manliness simultaneously.
I chuckled; her intent was good natured, if positively refutative of my claim, and this wasn't the first time she'd explored this line of questioning. I suspected she was really just doing due diligence to find any inconsistency in my argument.
"First, personal case history indicates only positive experiences when engaged in such activities with enthusiastic female partners; second, I have..."
"Hold on, bud," she interjected, "first, none of those little sluts was your solemnly sanctified spouse; I suspect that the potential for insecurity would dramatically increase in the face of possible abandonment by the subjects primary life partner; second, none of those bitches was me, and you know I'm the best thing that ever happened to you!" I could see the rascally twinkle in Tam's eyes set in a mask of faux stoicism.
