Gayle could scarcely believe what was happening around her. How had she come to this point? Here she was, early 50s, menopausal, comfortable, staid, respectable and admittedly boring. In her over 30 years of marriage, she had never contemplated doing anything like this. Certainly, her husband had suggested she try new things -- step outside her comfort zone. But this seemed impossible! Here she was... chatting intimately with another man! Yes, it was on the internet. Yes, it was anonymous. And yes, her grinning husband was not six feet from her. But still it seemed so forbidden... so unlike her... so naughty!
It had started innocently enough. The sex life with her husband was admittedly stale. They had a comfortable and kind relationship -- they looked after each other. But her libido was never all that strong. Perhaps it was genetics -- perhaps it was upbringing -- perhaps it was her choice. But part of it was her unshakeable belief that she was just too plain, boring and unattractive. Her husband said all the right things -- going so far as to arrange boudoir photography so that she might feel how sexy he always believed others found her. Maybe she just didn't notice other men's attention. She certainly did not invite it. So when her husband once again suggested that she step outside her comfortable place -- that he would be there with her through it all -- and that it was safe and secure. This time -- she actually believed him. And they sat down together and explored adult dating sites. They found one that seemed to cater more to a woman's perspective... with ample opportunity for virtual interaction. Best of all, it was free to join for women. Her husband explained that it was Ladies' Night at the bar -- it was sure to attract many male paying customers!
And so she became "Excom4t62" on the site -- with a brand new anonymous email address to match and be her contact spot. She was certain that there would be no interest generated and so nothing would come of it. She was so certain that no-one would respond that she let her husband take a photo to accompany her ad -- nothing too explicit -- just a photo her ample 38D breasts in one of her best fancy bras that she never wore anyway. She insisted that the photo be taken against a non-descript bedroom door and that it showed her only from mid-neck to mid-drift. It could be anyone, her husband said. But even this seemed to excite him and so she let it go. He might have preferred showing what her thought was her best asset -- her perfectly formed butt -- but the compromise was made. She knew from things overheard or said to her -- men appreciated her fulsome breasts. And so the ad went in:
"Bored and neglected 50 year old MWW. Considered attractive by some -- weight and height are appropriate. Wanting to connect with attentive, romantic, and appreciative men who respect my limits. Please be at least 30 years old and younger than 50. Email and chat is promised to suitable respondents."
She was a bit unsure about the white lies told in the ad -- for she was honest to a fault. But making herself a couple of years younger was no stretch -- she easily appeared 10 years younger than that. And yes, she thought herself a bit fatter than "appropriate", but her intentions of losing the weight made her comfortable with the exaggeration. She did not honestly think that her ad would interest anyone -- let alone someone as young as 30, but her husband insisted. And so the ad was submitted for approval and the next morning, an email arrived saying that the ad was "live".
Her husband suggested that they not check the email address or site for several days. She believed that was because he thought there would be no response. He told her that it was because he wanted her to understand just how many would jump at the chance to contact her. And so after more than 48 hours, they checked the response. There were no fewer than 15 individual responses. There appeared to be more because some men had tried more than once -- wondering why there first attempt went unanswered. Gayle was vaguely amused at the combination of bravado or desperation in these.
But together with her husband, she started through the responses. Some were crude -- full of vulgar language. Did men think that that actually worked?! No wonder they tried sites like this! A couple were from too close -- there was no way that she even wanted to chat with someone in the same area -- no matter how innocent it stayed. There was even one she thought might be from a co-worker -- as unlikely as that might have been, stranger things had occurred and she was not going to take that chance. This wasn't "real" and there was no way she would let there be any chance it could become that way.
But one response was remarked upon by her husband. It was well-written and respectful from someone who called himself "WYnot71". It was from a 42 year old man in Wyoming. His attached profile said that he was in a similar circumstance. The profile included a photo -- from the knees up. He looked in decent shape. His casual clothes suggested a man not closed in an office but not weather-beaten. He had a full head of wavy medium brown hair and there was a glint in his brown eyes. His only facial hair was a mustache that complemented his warm smile. This open shirt seemed to suggest a hairless chest. His thumbs tucked in the pockets of his jeans suggested a confident attitude. Gayle admitted to herself only that this was an attractive man. Her husband seemed attuned to that despite her silence.
The icon beside his profile meant that he was on line at this time. Gayle's pulse quickened a bit when her husband pointed this out.
"So?!" she said, hoping he'd let it rest.
"So give him a poke!" he suggested. Gayle could hear the eagerness in his voice and imagine the smile on his lips. She knew this was one of his greatest fantasies. She did not fully understand it, but she knew from long experience that we had always wanted something like this. She was unsure. But she felt her mouse moving to the "wink" icon on his profile. She clicked it.
"He is probably busy or not interested", Gayle soon said. Her husband explained that men had to pay for their access on the site and he was likely only arranging the fees to wink back.
And then a chat message came up. "Hello ma'am. Very pleased to meet you! May we chat?"
Gayle's breath caught as she read the message.
"What do I do?!" she anxiously exclaimed. She meant the question in the broader context. She was not prepared to talk to another man!
"Answer him!" her husband riposted -- misunderstanding her concern -- intentionally or not.
Despite her trepidation, she clicked the chat button -- her fingers shook as she typed in the chat box, "Nice to meet you too. Of course we can chat." She saw no harm in just a chat.
"Wonderful!" he responded and he started typing copiously. Telling so much so quickly! His life story in a few lines! His messages were a stream of consciousness. He was surprised to hear from her. Most women don't respond. He started thinking the "women" on the site were all fake. He hoped that she was not fake. Yes, he was married -- he loved his wife very much she, but because of medical concerns, could no longer fulfill all that she once did. Yes, she knew he was on the site. They wanted to stay married but an important part of his life was missing.
She responded where she could, but he wasn't asking many questions. She mostly typed one or two word responses. She was quite overwhelmed by this... it seemed like dating on speed -- and her dating years were long behind her. Her husband followed along... occasionally adding his own short comment, but generally just anxious and smiling at her.
Then "WYnot72" said, "The chat on this site costs me for every message. May we continue this on Yahoo Messenger? I am 'MYnot72' there too. Please add me."
Gayle froze. Despite this being 2013, she had never chatted on the internet -- and certainly not like this! She did not know how to respond. Her husband told her that her email address allowed her to chat on Yahoo as well. It cannot be just that easy, Gayle thought, almost panicking.
But she was in for a penny, in for a pound. And "WYnot72" was very gentlemanly and so she went to the site suggested by her husband to download and install the chat utility. She typed to her newfound friend in the dating site's chat box -- "Just hang on a sec"
"Okay :)" was all that came back.
Now what?!
She ran the chatting utility and signed in under her name, "Excom4t62". Her husband showed her where to click to add contacts and she added "WYnot72". His response was almost immediate:
WYnot72:
Hi! ntmu. My name is Tom, btw.
Excom4t62:
I am Sue. It is nice to meet you too.
Gayle could figure out what the chat shorthand was, but she did not care to use it herself. Besides, she was an excellent typist. She could tell from how long it took Tom to type that it was not his strength and so forgave him the shortcuts
Excom4t62:
I am not used to chatting. You will have to forgive me if I do not know all the lingo!
WYnot72:
Oh, it is your first time! I promise to take my time and be very gentle. :)
Gayle smiled at this. Tom did not seem to have the coarseness of so many of the letter she had read tonight and this was a nice change. One could certainly tell that things might be on his mind, but he spoke so that he could back away from anything that might be misinterpreted. She wondered if her husband would be jealous but he had been quiet since this chat began. A sidelong glance in his direction -- on the chair next to her computer station revealed that he was following along with rapt attention.
Excom4t62:
Thank you for that. I will try to keep up!
WYnot72:
I am certain that you will do fine. There is no pressure. We are just chatting!
Excom4t62:
Thank you.
Maybe she felt a little taciturn -- perhaps she was just shy. But all her life, she let others take the lead. This made her more comfortable. She would rather react than act.
WYnot72:
I have told you a lot about myself. Maybe I should ask you a few questions. Your profile on that site is rather vague. What are you looking for?
Gayle honestly did not know how to answer. She looked at her husband and he just smiled and shrugged -- "You're driving here, dear."
Gayle began to type rather slowly... she started and restarted a few times.
Excom4t62:
It is been so long since I have been someone "new". I have been married a long time and sometimes I forget what it was like to be as nervous as I am now. It is exciting in a way.
