From the Mouth of Babes

As I drove my grand daughter to her fourth counseling session, I was really concerned about her mental state as she was unusually quiet and deep in her own thoughts for a child so young. Since these sessions began she had been extremely angry at my daughter for destroying her family by having an affair with her boss, and I could fully understand that. But she now also seemed to be angry with me and had barely talked to me since last weeks private session with her counselor and her dad. It made me wonder what he had said to make her mad at me. I was as clueless as he had been regarding my daughter's affair, so why would anyone be mad at me.

When we arrived I was surprised to see that my daughter was waiting for us as I thought this was just going to be a private session for my grand daughter only. You can imagine my further surprise when I was asked to join them for the session.

Once we were all seated the counselor began the session by addressing my daughter. "I have been counseling your daughter over the phone for the last week as she has sadly become aware of further disturbing information related to this unfortunate situation. I want to make it perfectly clear before we begin that nothing said here today is the result of anything revealed or discussed during any previous sessions."

At this she turned to my grand daughter and turned over the session to her. It would appear that they had previously planned out this encounter.

"What my counselor is tactfully saying to the both of you is that my father has had nothing bad to say about anyone in the family and I doubt he has any idea about what we will be discussing today. So don't try to blame any of this shit on him. It is all on you two."

She pointedly stared at both of us. Then she turned to me.

"Okay, grandma. You made it perfectly clear to me last week that I have to be completely honest with my counselor if this therapy is to have any positive results. Is that true for you too?"

I was shocked that my sixteen year old grand daughter would ask me such an adult question, but I answered truthfully "Yes dear." She was always a very smart child and we often commented on how grownup she acted and talked.

She continued with, "I already know that my mother destroyed my father by cheating on him with her boss and having sex with him 'in our home' whenever he sent my Daddy out of town for work. It was bad enough that I had to listen to their horrible comments and obvious disrespect for my father while they screwed each other just down the hall from my bedroom!"

At my grand daughter's statement, my daughter gasped, started crying and covered her face at the realization that her daughter had heard her betrayal first hand, and she knew there was no way she could possibly sugar coat her affair or try to shift the blame for the destruction of her family to her husband.

With tears in her eyes, my grand daughter continued "Then, I had to listen to my father, who had done absolutely nothing wrong, night after night cry himself to sleep after he discovered her cheating and the true extent of her betrayal of our family." By then my grand daughter was crying as well. "And, no mother, I did not rat you out to my father, though now I truly wished I had. I was too afraid that if I did then I would be the cause of the destruction of my family."

Apparently this was news to my daughter as she started crying in earnest at the realization of the pain her senseless affair had caused her loving husband and her daughter. At this point I was beginning to realize that this session was not going to be even close to good for my daughter or myself.

"With that said, I have a simple question for you, grandma, What did you do to grandpa to make him cry himself to sleep every night?"

I was shocked and am sure that she saw the confusion on my face.

She continued, "I know that my Daddy cries himself to sleep because the love of his life destroyed him and his trust in her." As she said this she glared at her mother, then looked at me with the same scorn on her face. "But, now, knowing the pain betrayal leaves in its wake, that just makes me wonder why is my grandpa crying himself to sleep? Don't try to look so surprised, grandma. I've heard him doing it for years. Are you trying to tell me you haven't heard his sorrow! Are you that far separated from the man you are supposed to love that you don't know that 'He Knows' of your cheating and has known for a long, long time?' She was almost screaming by this point.

I sat there dumbfounded. What she had just said was probably the truest thing that had ever been said to me. I had been cheating on my husband for years and never thought he knew anything about it. My first thought was to deny everything, but when I looked into my grand daughters trusting eyes I realized I just couldn't lie anymore. Not to her, and especially not to myself.

"Apparently, I am dear." I finally answered as tears ran down my cheeks, "I never thought he had any idea what I was doing."

My daughter finally spoke up through her tears, "Oh, come on mom. That's BS and you know it. How could you not hear Dad crying, especially since he did so after every time you came home from screwing Derrick, or Fred, or whoever was your current flavor of the month." The hatred in her tone seemed like a physical slap in my face.

"You knew!" was my shocked reply.

"How could I not know. You so much as rubbed Dad's face in your infidelity by barely even trying to clean the stink of sex from your body when you came home to your loving family." my daughter said with scorn. "And apparently that was one lesson that I learned all too well from you. So well, in fact, that I felt so entitled that I took it to the next level by bringing my adultery actually into my home and my marital bed. Now I've destroyed my daughter, my husband, my marriage, and my family because of what you taught me."

At this my grand daughter jumped up and screamed at her mother "No mother! You chose to follow in your mother's footsteps. No one forced you to screw your boss in your marital bed. No one forced you to screw your boss period. I mean, it's not like he was blackmailing you or was he?" she didn't pause long enough for an answer. "No, you made that decision all by yourself so don't try to shift the blame for your infidelity to grandma. I will say though that through these counseling sessions, I am beginning to see that what grandma did in openly cheating on grandpa was showing you what she felt was acceptable behavior in a marriage. Well, even 'I' at my young age know that that's not true." And she glared at me again. "There is NO excuse or rationale for such blatant adultery. So, grandma, it would seem that I have you to thank for the destruction of the family" she turned shaking her head in shame. "How you have justified your behavior to yourself I don't really care to know about. That's between you, grandpa and your lovers. Why he has stayed with you after he obviously knows you're a serial cheater is beyond my understanding. Maybe he stayed because of his love for his daughter, my mother. I just don't know." and she sobbed.

"Still, what I do want to know, from both of you, is how are you going to fix what you have purposely done to destroy MY family?" By now all three of us were crying.

She finished her tirade with "At least I have learned one thing from you two. And that is 'What NOT' to do to my future husband should I ever be so blessed as to have one who loves me even half as much as my father and grandpa have loved you two sluts." She then sat down and cried for what felt like forever.

After a short pause the counselor finally said to my daughter, "It seems we have a lot to go over here and it's going to require a lot more sessions than the ten we originally planned. My focus has to remain on helping your daughter cope with the changes in the family caused by your selfish actions. And frankly, that's all I care to deal with at this time. Besides I'm a 'child psychologist' not a marriage counselor. So to that end I've already scheduled your husband for three additional sessions and we will need to schedule you for some added sessions also."

The counselor continued "Now, concerning your pending divorce, It is my opinion that you need to get with your husband and seek the help of a professional marriage counselor. That is, of course, if you truly want to save your marriage and reconcile. Although as far as I can see from the information about your still ongoing affair, I seriously doubt that your husband will want anything to do with you at this point. And, honestly I can't blame him."

Finally, the counselor turned to me with disgust and concluded her analysis with "As for your mother and her husband, It is my considered opinion that they may need marriage counseling even more than you and your husband. Your father may even need the services of a professional clinical psychologist to get over the trauma and heartbreak he has been suffering for years."

And with that she ended the joint session and directed my daughter and I to the waiting area while my grand daughter stayed to complete her individual one-on-one session with her counselor.