"What ads?" I asked Ann.
"In those newspapers I brought home," she said. "We have to advertise in order to attract customers."
"I should have known. You never do anything halfway. Have you decided what we are going to do with all this...ah, fucking money we're going to make?"
She giggled. "I figure we could pay off the mortgage and retire in about five years. There are still a lot of things we haven't done yet."
"Here we go with the checklist again."
"Tom, please don't be annoyed with me. This is a whole new world. I've often wished you had gotten my cherry. I should have offered you my bottom sooner so you could have gotten that first instead of Eric, but I was so scared you'd be shocked and leave me. Since we both came clean about our infidelities, I've felt almost like a virgin again. There are so many things open to us now because we're being open with each other. I want to share them all with you. I feel like I'm getting more than you. We're equal in getting laid separately; we are equal in watching each other with someone else. I'm ahead of you in having two men at once while you haven't had two women. I got my way in getting you to do Gina, and I got my way tonight with the show. I'm getting my way now in going to the swinger's bar. Isn't there something new you want to try?"
"You have all the bases covered. We just have to run them. Do you have an order in mind?"
"Tom, please don't be angry. If you want to stop, just say so and I'll forget everything."
I stewed for a few minutes while I thought the matter over. Would she really forget her plans, or just try to make things seem to happen? A second woman would be easy to arrange. She could invite a friend over, or we could get another prostitute. Intellectual musings would become reality. Swinging with another couple was about to happen. We could always discreetly get a little extra sex on the side. Even if she never said anything, the unfulfilled dreams would still be in the back of her mind. That would cloud our marriage, possibly forever. "I've said it before. Your happiness is my most important product. I only have two requests."
"Whatever you say, my love."
"One, the children must never find out. Two, no individual shows. I don't want you to be a hooker."
"What about swapping with other couples for money? You'd have the other wife as a hostage, so to speak."
I had to chuckle. "You should have gone into marketing. It's like I told David. No one ever says 'no' to you.."
We arrived at the bar a half hour later. The other patrons were casually dressed. We seemed very out of place in our revealing clothing. Most people looked like they come out of a grocery store. A few in business attire could have come from their offices. They were supposedly hot-blooded husband and wife swappers, but they seemed so ordinary. I could pass them on the street and not know they were swingers. The hostess escorted us to a table in the center of the room. Our drink order appeared quickly. Ann leaned forward to me and whispered, "Do you get the feeling we are underdressed?"
"A bit," I answered, "but we're definitely the center of attention."
A lone man approached us. "I'm Mark," he said. "Could I talk with you for a minute?"
"Sure," I said I as stood up and shook his hand. "I'm Tom and she is Ann. Please have a seat."
Ann smiled and wiggled in her seat. "I'm the owner of this place," he said. "I don't remember seeing you here before."
"This is our first time," Ann said.
"I thought so," he said. "What made you decide to come?"
"We just finished doing a show about an hour ago," I said, "and we wanted to get a drink before going home."
"You're actors?"
"You might say that."
"What kind of show do you do?"
"We're a couple," Ann said, "and we do what couples do together."
"My wife and I are a couple. We do dishes together."
"What we do is normally done in private."
"As in the bedroom?"
"That's right."
"I see," he said. "I can tell you that you won't drum up any business here. These people are swingers. They watch each other all the time for free. They don't have to hire performers."
"Do you offer any type of entertainment?" I asked.
"Couples come here to meet other couples. They talk. They arrive by twos and leave by fours and sometimes sixes or eights. No money changes hands. If it did, I would be shut down for running a bordello. I'm a barkeep, not a pimp. You won't see any singles here, male or female. Couples only. They don't buy; they trade. And I'm not hiring."
"Sounds fair," I said.
"Enjoy your drinks," Mark said as he stood up. "I like to see people make friends. I hope you make some."
Ann let out a slow breath as he walked away. "Pleasant, isn't he?" she said. "Maybe we should leave."
"I can see his point," I said. "He wants to stay in business. We'll have to forget about doing any marketing here. We'll run some ads after we get another phone. I'll call about it on Monday."
"Do you really mean that?" Ann said. "You're willing to do more shows?"
"Sure. We're a team, aren't we?" I saw a couple approaching from behind her. "I think we're about to get some company."
They were in their thirties, tall and trim. He was tanned and he obviously worked out. His cock was outlined against his pants leg. Her dress was short and low-cut. Her breasts jutted out proudly. She had firm dancer's legs. "I see you've met Mark," the woman said sweetly. "Charming, isn't he?"
"Yes," Ann said, "and his tail rattles too."
They both laughed. I invited them to join us and made our introductions. They were Bob and Fawn. Ann and I were unsure how to start a conversation with a strange couple. It certainly wouldn't be proper to say, "Glad to meet you. Let's fuck." They took the lead with normal subjects like work, colleges we attended, hobbies, everything but sex. They seemed to be experienced with beginners.
"Did I hear you tell Mark you do some kind of show?" Bob asked eventually.
"Yes," Ann said. "They're private ones."
"You mean you get paid to do it in front of an audience?" Fawn asked. Her hand found my knee under the table. She was looking me directly in the eye.
"That's right," I said.