Ann's hysterical laughter continued for at least five minutes before she was able to speak. "You couldn't even pick up a streetwalker? I don't believe it," she said. She laughed again.
"There weren't any around," I said.
"Where did you go?"
"The restaurant we went to Thursday night."
"Where you picked up that waitress?" I nodded my head. She laughed some more. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be laughing at you. Was she there tonight?" I nodded again. "Did you try to get her?"
"Yes. She'll only do a man once. Her husband was watching us from a closet. It's his turn on."
She laughed again. "Everybody gets to watch but me. At least we both got laid Tuesday night. I'm still one up on you. I'll ask some of the girls at work to suggest some other places to try."
"Do you want them to know you're trying to get me some strange pussy? We'd be better off with a prostitute."
"I'll be discreet. You could call an escort agency or go to a massage place."
"You couldn't watch in a massage parlor. Am I such a loser that I have to pay to cheat on you?"
"No. I love you. Come on. I set up the video camera. We'll make our own dirty movie, and we can watch you fucking me."
"You were going to record it? That's not fair. I don't have a movie of Eric and you."
"Okay, I won't the first time you get someone, but after that we record our affairs so we can share them. Maybe we should become porn stars. Then everybody would want us."
"You're starting to think like a man. That's scary."
"Let's go to bed."
"Are you sure a prostitute would be okay? Tuesday night was spontaneous for both of us. This would be preplanned and deliberate."
"I just want to be even with you."
"I don't understand this being even business. It's like having a quota."
"I still feel a little guilty about cheating on you. We both like sex movies. It would be like watching one live with you as the star. We did put on our own show last week."
"Okay, we could call someplace. We just have to figure out where."
We got out the telephone directory and looked at the ads for massage parlors and escort services. The display ads all showed pretty girls and had words like discreet and confidential. The massage ads all sounded like straight places, although most probably weren't. With my luck, I probably would pick a straight place. We finally picked an escort ad that said outcall only and called the number. I used the speaker so Ann could hear both sides of the conservation.
The woman who answered had a very sultry voice, probably fake but sultry. I was a bit nervous. There I was arranging to buy sex for the first time in my life, and my beautiful wife was helping. That sexy voice didn't help calm my nerves. I had hoped for a more business-like approach. There were questions about where I was and whether I would be paying cash or by credit card. Then I was asked what type of girl I wanted. Ann gestured for big breasts. "I have an eighteen-year-old with 42Ds." Ann nodded her head vigorously. When I learned the girl wasn't fat, just well-endowed, I agreed. A price of two hundred dollars was quoted. Ann indicated that it was all right, and I gave the woman my credit card information. As I rang off, she told me to expect a call from the girl for directions in a few minutes.
"What's with the robe?" I said as I tried to untie the sash. She pushed my hand away.
"Later," she said slapping my hand. "I bought something special for tonight after you got home. I covered up when I heard you come in alone so I wouldn't spoil the surprise."
The phone rang and I answered. It was the girl from the agency. She told me my credit card had been approved, described herself, and asked for directions to the house.
"Honey," I said after I hanged up, "I don't know about this. She's a child; she's Michael's age."
"I was eighteen the first time we slept together," Ann reminded me. "Remember Michael's birthday is next month. If she is a good lay, we can get her for him as a present."
