Bill and Debbie
Bill was sitting on one side of the sofa watching the Bears game on the big screen TV in the basement, bowl of peanuts and an open beer on the end table beside him when he heard the basement door open. He turned to see his wife Debbie and her friend Emmy walk through the door, then turned back to the game, not paying attention to them. He was a bit surprised moments later when they sauntered over arm in arm and stood directly between him and the TV. Deb looked somewhat amused for some reason, and Emmy...well, she looked terrified.
"Hey, what's going on? Do you need me for something?"
Debbie cracked a big smile, answering "Yes we do William, we have some questions for you, and you need to answer them truthfully. I don't want any bullshit no-answer from you." Emmy turned beet red and looked like she would crawl under the couch if she could pull her arm away. Bill immediately started to wonder just what the hell he'd fucked up this time. Still, Deb looked like she was about to burst with laughter which intrigued him.
"Well, if it's that important, let me steady my nerves." He said, draining the last few swallows from the beer, then squeezing the can in his fist. "Soldier down. So what do you two want to know?"
Emmy, now looking near panicked, looked desperately at my wife. "Deb, please don't. It's not important!"
Deb's eyes flashed, not in anger but in concern. "It is too Emmy, you need to hear this more than anyone I have ever known!"
She turned her concerned look back to Bill, with a 'you'd better not lie to me' look. He glanced back at Emmy, fidgeting like a kid who'd just been busted smoking his Dad's cigarettes behind the shed. He wasn't sure why, but he felt a tinge of sympathy already for her. This must be pretty serious stuff, which didn't begin to explain Deb's amused look from before. Intrigued indeed.
"Bill, I'm going to ask you a couple of questions, and I want you to be honest."
'Oh shit.' He thought to myself. Where the hell was she going with all of this?
She pulled Emmy up closer, right in front of him. "Bill, tell us the truth. Is Emmy pretty?"
Before he answered, Bill quickly thought through their past 31 years together. They were both in their early 50's, and having been married for 27 years, they had a wonderful life, filled with four kids, two grandchildren, and many many years of happiness. Not that they haven't had their spats through the years, who doesn't, but life together had been a gem. Deb is gorgeous, with long naturally blonde hair, tall with a beautifully toned body kept fit through hours and hours of exercise. She is a stereotypical head-turner in every way - full breasts, perfectly shaped bottom, stunning legs. Bill too spent a good amount of time in the gym, though not nearly as much as Deb. At 6'3" he was of medium build. He was ruggedly handsome, tall and lean body, with dark eyes and dark hair salted with gray. Emmy was in every way a very pretty woman, though in different ways than Deb. She too is in her early 50's and is quite short and very petite with tiny breasts, a thin waistline, and slight curve to her hips. She has raven-black, short cropped hair that matches her small frame, with smooth, olive skin and pixie-like cuteness.
As all those thoughts flashed through his mind, Bill looked up at the two women. Not sure where this was going, and wishing desperately he had a full one of those aforementioned beers to crack open and take another nerve-calming tug from, he answered.
"Deb, if we are being honest, then you will have to admit that we have discussed this before and you already know." He turned and looked at Emmy, her cheeks burning. "Emmy you are not pretty, you are beautiful." She blushed even deeper if that was possible, and stared at the floor. But a hint of a smile crept across her face.
Deb laughed. "Ha - you see Em, I told you so! You don't have to believe me, but that tall handsome man right there just told you, now do you believe it?" She reached her arm around, hugging her lightly, then looked back to me. Not waiting for an answer, she continued. "OK Bill, one more question that you and I haven't exactly discussed at all, but again I want an honest answer from you. Do you think Em is attractive? Physically I mean - would you make love with her if you could?"
Bill wasn't expecting that and stared wide-eyed at Deb. Apparently neither was Emmy who gasped out loud and stared at Deb, horrified.
"Oh my God Deb, how could you?" she stammered, seemingly paralyzed in shock and fear.
Really wishing he had that beer, Bill didn't know what to say, and looked at Deb, pleading with his eyes to just let it go, and knowing somehow that she had enough wine in her that was not going to happen.
"Well are you going to answer me, or sit there swallowing your tongue?" she asked?.
"I..." He swallowed hard. "I don't know where you're going with this Deb, and I'm not sure if I should answer that?" He glanced at Emmy, her lip was quivering and her eyes were welling up with tears. "Seriously Deb, what the hell is this all about, did I do something to piss you off?"
"For Pete's sake Bill, just answer the damned question! You're not in trouble, you didn't do anything wrong, I...I mean Em just needs a man's perspective on this, and you happen to be the male perspective who's handy right now. So tell the truth, is Emmy attractive and if you could, would you make love with her? Simple question...answer up!"
He could see Deb wasn't budging, and whatever the purpose or outcome of this weird conversation, he was going to have to answer the question. Fuck. Bill shook his head slightly, and looked up at them both before turning his attention to Emmy who was frantically looking for something interesting on the floor to stare at.
"Em." He said, drawing her eyes up to look at him. "I am not sure what any of this is about, or why I'm involved in it. I'm not sure you even want to know the answer to tell you the truth, but you know her, she isn't going to let this go. I hope you won't hate me for this, and I don't mean to be offensive to you, or, well I don't know what the word is for this, but my answer is you are a beautiful, very attractive woman, and if I had the opportunity, I would feel honored to make love to you." He stood up then and stepped close to Deb, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "You too, you know that right?" She grinned at him.
As he stepped away, walking toward the mini-fridge to retrieve a beer, he added "Now, if you two wouldn't mind, I suddenly feel a desperate need to drink a lot more beer and contemplate the wrath I'm surely going to get later."
Deb laughed at that and tugged Emmy's arm. "Don't drink too much dear, and don't worry I'm not going to beat you too badly. Come on Em, you look like you need another glass of wine." Emmy glanced at him and looked almost grateful as she managed a little smile. He watched them make their exit, paying a lot more attention than usual to Emmy's small, firm butt as they scurried out of the room. Opening the can, he took a long drink, still wondering about the questioning, and slowly letting the game push it out of his mind.
A while later he heard the front door open and close upstairs, and a few minutes later Deb came bounding down the stairs.
"How's the game?" she asked, sitting next to him on the couch.
He just stared at her bewildered, took a drink of his beer and handed the can to her. "Don't give me that shit." He snorted. "Just what in the hell was that all about?"
She drank and sputtered as she laughed, and handed the can back. "I shouldn't laugh really." she said. "It's really not funny at all, but I'm not sure what else to do." She turned and watched the game.
"Not letting it go Deb. You owe me some explanation for that little embarrassing episode. Is she going to run home and tell Dave all of this? Should I expect him to drop by when he gets home to kick my ass?" Truthfully, he was a few beers in now, and starting to get a little irritated. She just laughed and shook her head.
"No babe, nothing like that at all, just girl talk that needed some perspective is all."
Bill wasn't having it. "Deb, you know that's not good enough. You embarrassed the hell out of me, and had Emmy almost in tears. Explain yourself."