You can call me coward and wimp or whatever you want for leaving like that and not confronting Rose and you probably will be right. I'm an introvert and quiet man and I have never liked confrontations of any kind and have always tried to avoid them as long as possible. I have always had some self-esteem problems and I have been quite insecure about myself all my life. Rose was probably the only person who could make me feel secure and accepted, and I felt utterly lost when she suddenly seemed to turn her back on me.
My phone came alive on the next day after I had returned home from my sad winter holiday. It was Rose, my so called girlfriend, or was she already my ex-girlfriend. I ignored my phone and didn't answer her calls nor read her texts. Hell, she hadn't answered any of my calls just a few days before, so now it was my turn to be unavailable. She tried and tried until I finally turned my phone off.
On the next day my doorbell rang and when I opened the door, there she was standing outside. First thing I saw was her neck full of dark love bites, and I was sure that her neck wasn't the only place she had them. Jules had marked her so everyone would know to whom she belonged now. I just couldn't stop staring at them. She must know what I was looking at!
"Pete, we need to talk."
Wow, I had been sure that I never in my life would hear those words from her, but there she was, and she just had uttered those magic words. I let her in and shut the door behind her. She stood there in my small living room and looked at me shyly and tentatively. Then she just wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. She pressed her head against my shoulder and didn't say anything, she just hugged me, and I could feel her warmth against me. Some of my pain melted away right there. No words were needed because the old connection that we used to have was still so strong and we both felt it. I knew she still cared about me and I can't deny that it felt good. She lifted her head and looked straight into my eyes, and I saw tears in her eyes.
"I'm so sorry my love," she whispered to my ear and buried her face against my shoulder again.
OK, was she sorry about what she did or was she sorry that she was going to say that she'll leave me? I could hear her suppressed sobs against my shoulder as she hugged me.
"It's so difficult to say what I'm going to tell you but I have always appreciated your honesty and our trust in each other. I don't want to ruin it now. Please remember that I have always loved you and I always will love you no matter what happens."
Ok, there it comes. She looked into my eyes again, tentatively, and I just nodded.
"I have never lied to you. Well actually I have, but just once, and only because I was so ashamed. Not that I would have had something to hide. It was when we were skiing and you hurt your leg. I saw that you had tried to call me but I didn't answer, and later I was so ashamed when I saw that you were injured and I was ignoring you. I was just so ashamed then."
I nodded again.
"Please let's sit down before I tell you the worst thing."
We sat down on my sofa and she held my hands in hers, looking very nervous. And blushed.
"Pete, I had sex with Jules."
"I know that, why don't you tell me something I didn't already know?" I just stared coldly at her astonished face.
"You knew? But how?" She looked so unsure of herself right then.
"Why in hell do you think I left for home earlier? I knew what you'd done and I was so nauseated that I couldn't bear to spend one more moment there."
"Oh my god! How did you know?" she gasped, realizing why I had vanished so suddenly.
"Everyone there could figure out what you were doing with Jules, but you really don't need to tell me why you did it. It was so obvious to everyone. I couldn't compete with a guy like him. He's big, handsome, and rich, and I'm just an average Joe. I understand why you chose a better man over me. But before you leave me permanently, just tell me. Was his bigger cock so much better than mine, does he give you better orgasms, does he fuck you for a longer time and better than me, does he satisfy you better, did his cum feel better in your cunt, did you plan it all beforehand?" And why in hell did you have to drag me there just to be hurt and humiliated? Did I do something so wrong that it was necessary to humiliate and hurt me so much?"
I could feel my anger, and hear my voice rising. Rose just stared at me, her own eyes wide, looking shocked and speechless. Then she began to sob.
"Oh my god no, no, no! Please, no, you can't think that I wanted to hurt you."
"Just tell me what the hell then!" I shouted to her as I had never before.
"Oh please Pete, believe me, I didn't want to hurt or humiliate you in any way. I could never hurt you on purpose. I didn't plan for any of it to happen. And I don't want to leave you, I don't love him, I love only you. We had sex only one night and not after, and I won't ever have sex with him again."
"How about my other questions? Was sex with him so much better?"
She squeezed my hands tightly with hers and inhaled deeply.
"I have to calm down a bit. Your questions are just so shocking that I can't think you'd ever have thoughts like those. If you can bear a moment I'd like to tell you everything that happened and as far as I know, why it happened." She looked pleading into my eyes, again asking if I was ok with it, and I just nodded.
After a short moment of deep breathing Rose began her story. She held my hands and looked straight into my eyes, ashamed maybe but straight, as if she wanted to tell me that she didn't want to hide anything.
Jules had joined their theater group that autumn. He had a reputation as a flirt and a ladies man and none of the girls wondered why. He was very handsome, big, had a muscular body, and of course he was rich and he didn't hide it. All those many gossips about him told the same things. According to them he'd had hundreds of women and it didn't matter if you were young or old, single or married, if you were a female and you had tits and pussy that he could use, he would be interested in you.
"He did like to flirt with all women, married and unmarried alike, but it wasn't rude or offensive. Rather, it was more like a joke, or harmless fun. It wasn't like he would have tried to get into our panties. He was just a funny and polite guy with a hint of naughtiness and dangerous sexuality in him. It didn't seem that he would have tried to hit on any of us and we all began to forget his reputation and all the gossips about him."
"On the bus trip to the holiday resort you were sleeping most of the time and I was goofing and having a good time with the others. Guess I was flirting a bit with Jules like always and I was feeling relaxed and happy to be with my friend and on a trip to a holiday."
"At the resort I thought I was having fun with the whole group not just Jules, but when I look back at it now, I can see that he was giving extra attention to me, and I guess I felt flattered by it. I made a great mistake in that I ignored you way too much while having so much fun with my friends. You have always been there in my life and I guess I took you so much for granted that I forgot you totally for short moments. I can see that clearly now, and I regret that so much."
"I had so much fun that first day on the slopes that again I almost forgot that you were there too. I knew you didn't care much about skiing, and I assumed you were happier doing it at your own pace. I couldn't know that you'd hurt your leg when you tried to call me. I regret it so much now, that I didn't take the time to answer you. And later in the evening I was just so ashamed and flustered that I created that stupid lie that my phone hadn't had its sound on. All the others heard my phone ringing many times during the day."
"Next day was the spa and dancing. You couldn't participate in our activities so again I momentarily forgot you. During that day I felt funny, not normal at all. I felt a very strong bonding with Jules, and I just wanted to hug, cuddle, and touch him, and after all that hugging and touching I just felt horny. My inhibitions were decreased a lot and I just enjoyed being touched. I didn't care if people saw it and I was so confused with all the new, surprising emotions I suddenly felt. I really didn't know any more what I was doing. I understand how all that must have looked to you and how difficult it must have been to look at me behaving like that."
"Most of the men who danced with me tried to feel me and I can't deny that I liked it, but I didn't let them go too far with it. Unfortunately, the strong bond that I felt with Jules decreased my inhibitions, and when we were off the dance floor for a moment he pinned me against the wall in one dark corner. He pinched my nipples through my dress and groped my tits. I could feel his hard bulge grinding against my pussy through different fabrics, and I'm not proud of it but he got my legs spread and I let his hand sneak under my hem, where he got his fingers into my pussy for a moment. I still had some sense left in my head, and after a short while I managed to get out from the corner. But he got me so aroused there that later that evening I had to masturbate in my room right there in front of Janet. I couldn't bear any more arousal and I really didn't care what she might think of it. I just had to get off."
"I later found out that bastard had all day been spiking my drinks with MDMA which is also known as Ecstasy and god knows what else. I think it's fair to say that it was the drugs that made me feel so bonded with him and decreased my inhibitions below any standards. It was still me who was so fucking horny, I don't deny it, yet I think the drugs helped a lot in that."
"Next day was the dog sledding and I guess Jules saw his opportunity when it became obvious that only two of us would be able to join that overnight tour. I was still bonding strongly with him and I know now that he began to feed me more Ecstasy and who knows what else beginning in the morning. On that tour he continued right from where we left off the previous night, and it felt so good to be kissed and touched again. I felt so uninhibited by then that I didn't even try any more to stop what he was doing."
