A few years ago, I was having lunch with a married friend of mine, Julie. She was telling me about her husband, Richard. They had been married for a little over seven years, and it was obvious from her exuberance and gestures that she and her husband were still happy together.
I couldn't help but feel envious. I wanted to be happy for my friend, but I missed having a man in my life. The relationships I had with men always seemed to have rough patches, which were enough for me to end the relationships. I wanted to find what Julie had.
I guess Julie could see my feelings in my face, because she said, "I wish you could find a man as wonderful as Richard."
Now, I know that Julie meant that as a wish. Her statement came across to me as a rebuke, like why can't you find someone. It stung me.
I'm not sure why Julie responded with, "Maybe I could loan Richard to you." Maybe it was my feelings showing.
I laughed. I had no idea how to respond to a statement that far out of left field, so I didn't say anything.
I didn't remember this lunch conversation with Julie until a few months passed.
One evening, when I was sitting on the sofa reading a romance novel, I received a phone call from Richard. After the pleasantries, he got straight to the point.
"Julie wants me to have sex with you. I thought she was joking with me or testing me, but she insists that she wants me to have sex with you."
I laughed. Richard continued, telling me what had happened between him and Julie.
That night after the luncheon when they were in bed together, Julie had told him about her conversation with me and asked him if he would consider having sex with me. Richard thought Julie was trying to trap him, and resisted answering honestly for months. Julie couldn't understand why Richard wouldn't want to stay married to her and also have sex with a friend of hers.
Julie never thought to ask me how I would feel. She just assumed I would appreciate her sharing Richard. Well, she wasn't wrong. I had seen him many times over the years and had a few conversations with him. He was tall, charming, confident, happy in his career, and definitely happy to be married to Julie. I'm sure they had their arguments, but they genuinely seemed happy together whenever I saw them.
Richard telling me what had happened gave me time to think about their proposal. I thought it was outlandish, so I responded with, "I appreciate your call and I'll think about it." After saying goodbye, I hung up.
I didn't think about my conversation with Richard again until I was in bed. As I fingered my clit, I thought about what it would be like to have sex with Richard. I imagined him putting me on my hands and knees and pounding me from behind. I guess it'd been a while since I'd had sex because I came quickly. I was tired, so I fell asleep soon after.