Forty Isn't Old If You're a Tree

My thanks to my editor MistressPenelope. Without her this would be a worse story. After her the mistakes are mine.

****

"Dr. Cooper, make him tell the truth. If he admits to having an affair with Jolene, then we can get past this fruitless talking and on to fixing it." Michael and Julie were back the following Wednesday for their second counseling session.

"I'll come clean if she comes clean about Bob Shelton."

"There's nothing for me to come clean about. I told you, Bob and I were just talking about how he could learn his way around town."

"What did you say to me once? 'You could get pregnant talking that way.' If you were just talking, why does he seem to know about your pussy?" Michael took some paper out of a notepad he was carrying. He handed one sheet to Dr. Cooper, then one to Julie. Then he sat back.

"Wh, wh, where did you get this?" Julie looked at the email printout in horror. Words attacked her from the virginal white sheet: breasts, tongue, pussy.

Michael had proof and she had nothing. Maybe Ann had been right. Maybe Michael had never cheated on her. Maybe she had thrown her marriage away.

A low wail grew in her throat until great, wracking sobs heralded the tears. For a few minutes there was no sound except Julie's crying.

"Would you like to tell me how it started and how long it's been going on? You've shown a lack of interest in sex since Christmas. Is that when it started?" Michael's voice was even but betrayed a struggle to keep from shouting.

"Julie, wait a second." Dr. Cooper interrupted. "Michael, how much do you want to know?"

"I don't want to know the fucking details, literally. That email is more than what I ever wanted to know about the physical side. But now I need to know about Julie's feelings. When did it start? How many times? Why?"

"Julie?" The counselor prodded the still-sobbing wife.

"Not Christmas. Atlanta. I had an extra couple of drinks one night and I was mad at you for your affair with Jolene and you hadn't been paying attention to me and he was."

Michael bolted upright. "So it's my fault, then. MY FAULT THAT YOU FORGOT YOUR VOWS AND FORGOT OUR CHILDREN." He realized that he was shouting. He looked at Dr. Cooper. She looked like this happened every day. It probably did.

Michael slumped back in his chair. The next words out sounded like a defeated man. "Am I incompetent as a lover? Clumsy? Insensitive? Did you tell him he was better than me?"

"Oh no, Michael, I never said anything like that to him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was going to break it off with him." She began to cry again.

"Just as soon as he used his tongue on your pussy once more," he spat at her. "Even after I talked to you about him and about counseling, you were planning to be with him. When we walk out of here have you already set the date to meet him for that long lunch?"

She looked up, tears still running down her face. "Even after you talked to me, you still let Jolene hang all over you. How many times have you screwed her since we agreed on counseling?"

Now it was Michael's turn. He flushed. "As soon as that happened, I knew it was wrong. I haven't been with Jolene since we talked."

"But you have fucked her, haven't you?" Now Julie was trying to shock.

"Michael." Again Dr. Cooper interrupted. "Julie, now I'll ask you. How much do you want to know?"

"I agree with Michael. I don't want the physical details. I do want to know how long, and why? Is it her boobs? Because she's prettier than me? Are you tired of me?" In a smaller voice, "Do you love her?"

"No I don't love her. If I hadn't run in to her the night I followed you to Bob's apartment, I probably would never have done anything with her."

"So now it's MY fault you were unfaithful?"

"Well, it did seem that affairs were in season." They both glared at each other.

"Look," Dr. Cooper interjected. "If we're here to put this marriage back together, I need to get both of you to commit to no extramarital sex."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"You both have questions on the table. Who wants to start?"

"Well, my details are short, so why don't I go first." Michael was sarcastic, but he paused as if gathering his thoughts. "Julie called me that afternoon. I guessed what she was planning and I tried to warn her by asking pointed questions and reminding her of the previous Wednesday's when she had worked late. She wouldn't listen. After I followed Julie to Bob's apartment, I hung around for a little bit. After a while I left because I didn't know how long they were going to go at it and mostly I didn't know what to do if Julie came back out and we saw each other. On the way home, I decided to stop at the food court at the mall and get something to eat. Jolene saw me there and was coming on pretty strong like she has been for the last few months. I decided that I could play the same game as Julie and I took her to the company apartment. After that I met her once more. After I met Julie for dinner and we decided on counseling I called Jolene and told her we were done."

"Did you want to continue?" Julie asked.

"Truthfully, no. There is some truth in the belief that men don't want women that are more experienced than they are. Also, we've discussed the gossip about her divorce. Who wants a woman that cheats on her husband?" After that comment Julie started crying again.

They listened to her sobs and hiccups for a few minutes before Michael spoke again. "Julie, it's your turn."

"Li... (hiccup) Like I said, it started in Atlanta. I thought it would end there, but somehow it started again back here."

"Julie," Dr. Cooper chided. "Here we have to take responsibility for our actions. I don't want you to answer now, but before next week plan to tell us how and why it started again after Atlanta."

"Well (sob), well I guess I can tell you now. The day before, Jolene was hanging all over Michael. Bob asked me out for a drink, just to talk. After a couple of drinks it seemed that if Michael was having an affair, then I could, too. We met twice more after that."

"Why didn't you talk to me about her? Why couldn't we have talked this through before anything happened?"

"I did talk to you once about it. You told me nothing was going on."

"Nothing was!"

"But you let her continue to hang on you and rub those big boobs of hers all over you and press those firm, tanned legs of hers against yours." She started crying again.

"I'm sorry and I'm ashamed that I let her do that. I shouldn't have."

"Time's about up and I think we've made some progress today." Dr. Cooper was being her cheery, encouraging self. "I'll see you both next week."

****

Today I'd like to explore what led up to the problems that you two have had." Dr. Cooper started off the third session. "In earlier sessions you both made reference to things that had been going on for months, perhaps as long as a year. Would you like to tell me what sort of problems you saw?"

There was silence as they looked at each other. Finally, Julie spoke. "I didn't notice at first, but looking back late last summer or early fall Michael seemed to be more withdrawn. He stopped telling me about his day. He started working more late hours. Since he's a manager, the long hours don't put any extra money in our pocket. When I noticed that he wasn't talking as much, I began to think he might be getting tired of me."

"Then around Christmas I began to notice that we didn't have s..., uh, make l..., uh, we didn't spend as much time in private as we used to. That's when I started to think he might be having an affair." Julie sat back, obviously finished for now.

"Michael?"

"Well, I had so much work –"

"Wait," the doctor said gently. "We'll talk about why the problems happened later. Right now I want you to tell us what you thought were problems in the relationship."

"Now that I think about it, I first noticed at Halloween. Julie likes seasonal themes. Of course she decorates for Christmas, but also smaller holidays: Easter, July 4th, Thanksgiving, and Halloween. Up until last year the kids had always put on costumes and gone trick-or-treating. Last year Mike went out trick-or-treating with friends, but Holly went to a party at one of her classmate's houses. There were going to be a dozen or so girls and the same number of boys. She got dressed in a nice skirt and blouse combo and Julie let her wear a little lipstick. They might have done the eyelash and eyeliner thing too. I don't remember. Julie hadn't put out the ghost mobiles like usual or the black cat and pumpkin cutouts. That night Julie was quiet and I was the one who always answered the door and gave out the candy."

"Julie's fortieth birthday came two weeks later. We have a sort of regular schedule of lovemaking, but we always make love on special occasions: Christmas Eve, New Year's, our anniversary, and our birthdays. Not last year. We had two other couples over and celebrated, but Julie was quiet again that night. When we got to bed, she complained of having too much to drink and went to sleep."

"After that we kept making love on the weekends and maybe once or twice during the week, but she never seemed to start it anymore. She used to do that once or twice a month anyway. Again on Christmas Eve she complained of being tired and New Year's Eve we went over to a friend's house for the evening, but she had had 'too much to drink' when we got back home. It didn't improve after that and I started working more on the next two product introductions so even I didn't feel like fooling around as much during the week."

"After she came back from Atlanta, it seemed like we were just married again. She couldn't keep her hands off me, and she was different in bed. When we did oral, she would sometimes complete it that way. I can't remember when she did that last. And she seemed to want me to touch her butt, uh, you know where. If I had tried that last year, she would have gotten mad. I guess now I know how she learned these new tricks." He shot a disgusted look towards Julie. "Anyway that's one thing that made me suspicious." Now Michael slouched back, stopping his talk.

Dr. Cooper had been taking lots of notes from both Julie and Michael. Now during the silence, she frowned down at her scribblings. "Julie, when was the last time you had a complete physical?"

"I guess it might have been after Mike was born."

"I'd like you to get one as soon as you can. I'm also going to refer you to a psychiatrist, Dr. Jacobsen, a friend of mine. I think you might be suffering from depression. Our bodies sometimes drift out of whack and we need something to bring them back like we used to be."

"Dr. Cooper, can I bring up another problem?" Michael spoke up.

"Sure, Michael."

"I haven't talked to Julie about this." He gave her a sideways glance that was sort of sheepish. "I'd like her to quit her job."

"What!" Julie exclaimed. "We need my salary. It helps us save for the kids' college and pays for our vacations, small as they are. We can't afford for me to quit work. Besides, I like what I do."

"I'm not asking you to quit work. You could get another job easily; probably with a good salary increase in a city this size. I want you away from Bob Shelton."

"I told you that that's over. I won't do it again."

"You said that's what you thought when you came back from Atlanta. And you were planning to do it again even after we agreed to counseling. It's like an alcoholic – they don't keep liquor in the house."

"Julie, I think you can understand Michael's concern." Dr. Cooper interrupted before Julie could retort. "I want you to think about this and be ready to reply next week. I'd like you to be prepared to talk about your feelings and what Michael might be feeling."

*****

"Julie, when we stopped last week, Michael had requested that you change jobs to another company. You were unhappy with that request. I asked you to wait until this week to discuss it some more. Have you had time to think about it?"

"Yes, Dr. Cooper, I've given it quite a bit of thought."

"Let me ask you to start by summarizing Michael's point of view and what he might be thinking."

"Well, he knows that I was naughty – "

"Julie!"

"Sorry, Dr Cooper. He knows my affair started in Atlanta with a co-worker from here. He knows that I did not intend to resume the affair back here but I did, meeting Bob at night when I told him I was working and also planning to meet him during the day. He's worried that although I say I'm not going to resume the affair, I might give in to temptation. Therefore he wants me to find a job with another company."

"Is that a fair summary, Michael."

"Yes."

"Julie, tell us how you feel."

"I don't want to change jobs. I've spent ten years with this company, getting promoted twice. I think I have a good shot at replacing Steve if he leaves his position. I get three weeks vacation each year and next year it'll be four. I'll lose that and other benefits if I change companies. I've got a network of friends and business associates inside the company that I'll lose. It's over with Bob. I only see him at staff meetings at work. I don't have to work with him. Please don't make me leave." She looked at Michael beseechingly.

"Julie, I spoke to Bob Shelton personally two weeks ago. I told him I didn't want him to have any contact with you at all outside work. Suppose you both happen to leave the building together. You speak to each other as co-workers might. Then he thinks that you are available again, even if you don't encourage him. I just think the temptation might be there."

"You don't trust me to keep my word to you?" She cringed as soon as the words were in the air.

"That's rhetorical, right? Try this on: if I told you that I was going to volunteer to be on a committee for soccer parents that meets at night and that you knew Jolene was going to be on, would you like it?"

"No. But it could take me months to find another job, and if I'm out of a job, I have to explain why."

"Look, keep your job, but start looking for another one, okay?"

"Okay." She wasn't happy, but she didn't have to leave right away. "I'd like you to stay away from Jolene, too."

"Well, I won't see her again until school starts in the fall. If she shows up at games, I'll stick beside you. If she approaches, we'll play it by ear."

"Okay."

*****

The following week at the beginning of the session Dr. Cooper confirmed that Julie had made an appointment with Dr. Jacobsen. It wasn't until the end of the session that Michael returned to an old topic. "Dr. Cooper, I'd like to ask Julie what she's done to look for another job."

Dr. Cooper could see immediately what the answer was. She suspected Michael already knew, too. "Julie, before you answer, we're trying to rebuild the trust between the two of you. Honesty builds trust."

The room was silent for a minute. "I haven't done anything. I like my job. I like the people I work with –"

"Sometimes too much," Michael cracked in a low voice.

"Michael, we want your feelings not zingers at Julie," Dr. Cooper broke in. "Both of you take a minute to consider what to say next."

After a short silence Michael spoke up. "Julie, I want this to work. I'm sorry for my remark."

"I understand your feelings. I'll get resumes out this week."

*****

"Well, Dr. Jacobsen agrees with Dr. Cooper that part of my problem is a mild form of depression."

"So she gave you a prescription?"

"No, she didn't. She says that she doesn't believe in pills unless the problem is severe. She says that a regular exercise program will probably do as well as any prescription. So I need to start walking, briskly, as she says, forty-five minutes or an hour a day. It'll be pretty late after the dishes are done."

"Hon, I'll do the dishes each night so you can go walk. Whatever needs to be done so that we can have the old Julie and our marriage back." That night she began walking while Michael cleaned up the kitchen.

Within a few weeks she began to feel better. That drab sameness that seemed to have been in her life for almost a year melted away. By the time she took the kids shopping for new school clothes, she was feeling happier.

*****

From the weekend before he had followed Julie to Bob's apartment, Michael and Julie had not had sex. Together. Of course they had each enjoyed their paramours the next week. Michael had enjoyed his hand several times in the following eight weeks. He knew Julie used the same approach. He had awakened one night to find an empty spot on the other side of the bed. He walked into the hall where he heard a wet sound and then a low moan. Tiptoeing down the hall, he looked over the banister into the den. Julie was slumped down on the couch. Her eyes were closed, her legs spread, and her hands under her nightgown. He wondered briefly who she saw behind her eyelids before he returned to their bedroom.

In late July they had gone to a party given by some friends. Julie had drunk more than her limit and Michael was still high, though not drunk, when they got back. The kids were at her parents. They were feeling good and they were horny. Her blouse and slacks hit the floor shortly followed by his shirt and jeans. Falling to the couch, they kissed and necked for what seemed to both an eternity, though it was only about five minutes. Her bra had melted away and as he tongued her nipples, her hand snaked into his boxers. She felt the heat of his rod in her hand. She stroked the hardness briefly. He slid down to kneel on the floor. As his hands reached for her panties, she lifted her hips. His hands slid down her legs and then back up, leaving a puddle of nylon on the floor.

He leaned forward inhaling the heady scent from between her legs. He extended his tongue and brushed it through her downy hair. Then a phrase popped into his head: "you know how sweet I think your pussy tastes." He felt himself begin to soften. He pulled up and attacked her breasts again. After a minute or so he knew he could go on. Shuffling forward on his knees, he pulled her to the edge of the couch and entered her. Now he was mad at her, at himself, at the world. He thrust brutally into her.

She was very wet so his hard thrust only gave her a little twinge of pain. By his second thrust she was open. He pounded against her on every thrust. She could tell he was intentionally being rough. She was a little scared, but she moaned with the stimulation and the domination.

All too soon, he ejaculated. He heard her cry out, but he could tell it wasn't her usual sound of orgasm. He knew she was faking, pretending so that this first time would go easily. They held each other for a short time and then they rose. Leaving the clothes where they were, they stumbled to bed and to sleep.

When Julie woke up the next morning, she felt really relaxed and satisfied. For the first four or five weeks after she and Michael had started counseling she hadn't felt like having sex. She was still mad at Michael and ashamed of her affair. But the itch had returned. Twice in the last month she had slipped out of bed after Michael had gone to sleep. Sitting in the dark of their den, she had gotten off. The first time Matt Damon had been the object of her desire. The second time she had remembered several encounters from early in her marriage when Michael had been particularly good. Now she snuggled up against his sleeping form.

As she looked back at last night, several things occurred to her. Her excitement from Michael's domination surprised her. Her orgasm had been quick and overwhelming. She hadn't even felt like cuddling afterwards. She just sank into sleep. She was sure that some of it was the dry period in the previous weeks, but maybe she should try to get Michael to dominate again. Was she a closet BDSM'er?

She also remembered that Michael had not licked her pussy. Before things went to hell, he did that almost every time they made love even though she rarely reciprocated. He was very good. She couldn't remember the last time he licked her when she hadn't cum. Bob had been good, but he hadn't developed the experience with her body that Michael had.