Forgiveness

From the author:

For those of you who think you have read this on another site. You did. I posted it some time ago. I have rewritten some parts of it for this posting but its Just more of my usual, sex, romance and drama.

Just so I can clear this up before the comments start. A few readers don't care for my use of the erotic aspects of beautiful lady's feet in my stories. When I was single, one of the first traits I looked at in a potential date, relationship or just women in general is how they kept their fingers and toes. In my humble opinion, a woman who keeps her hands and feet pretty and wears sexy barely there heels is self confident and attractive. They don't do manicures, pedicures, wear foot jewelry, get small, sexy tats on a foot with strappy sandals and heels to look slutty. They do it because they know it's sexy and sexy pretty feet get noticed. They are a part of the total package. My wife is one of those ladies. So, those of you that don't care for my love of a lady's beautiful feet and toes in my stories should just skip over it. I am one of several authors on these sites that use it as a seductive and erotic story telling technique.

If you're looking for a BTB story, don't bother and if you just have to come out with some Cuck comment, just leave your one star and move on. Those of you who like a erotica, drama and romance, read on and I thank you.

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FORGIVENESS

Chapter 1

There I was minding my own business, sitting on my favorite stool, in my favorite bar, drinking a tasty amber colored adult beverage, watching my favorite team on the tube over the bar when in walked my ugly past, all 5'6 " and 120 pounds of her.

Without looking up, I said, "Hello, Melinda."

She said, "Hi, Robbie, how long has it been" and she touched my shoulder.

I knew that touch so well. It made men's heart melt and their dick turn to stone.

I said, "Four years, seven months, one week, three days, seven hours, and give or take a few minutes., but the bottom line is NOT long enough, Melinda." As I turned and looked at her, I said, "Your just as beautiful as I remember, but I also remember it's only skin deep. What can I do for you?"

"Robbie, I want my husband back."

I gave her the head to toe once over and just shook my head.

"What makes you think he wants YOU back?"

Dressed to the nines, with her braless 34C breasts, puffy aureolas and bullet nipples that threatened to poke holes in her white blouse from the inside. Her jet black hair hanging free on her shoulders and blue eyes that pierced your soul. The navy blue pencil skirt, her trademark office attire and last but not least those gorgeous red finger and toe nails with her toe rings shining through her sheer nude, what I assume is pantyhose. Could be stay-up stockings, I guess She used to wear both.

The strappy, black CFMs only held on her size 6 feet by the thinnest strap across her toes and around her ankle. The four inch heel accented her sexy arches giving her that million dollar stride when she glided on air across a room. I knew all of her sizes because for five, almost wonderful years, I had the pleasure of examining those nipples and toes up close and personal as often as I wanted as she bore the title of Mrs. Robert (Robbie) Hammer. That's me.

Yeah, wives were slapping their men whenever she was in a crowd. Those guys knew that was as close to pussy as they were gonna get that night. She had that affect on us. Me? I was no different..uh huh...I bit hook, line, and sinker. We thought we were the love to end all loves. I did love her with all my heart and soul but she had too much love for just one man.The last year of our marriage, she found all that love was a burden so she needed to spread it around to another in need.

Believe me, Gentlemen, there's something to be said for marrying "the plain girl next door" type. Pretty but not stunning if you know what I mean. It's gets old watching men stepping on their tongue and dick when women like Melinda float into a room. All the blood leaves the males' brain and all of a sudden, they become, Fabio, Johnny "Wad" Holmes, and Brad Pitt in one body. But in fact, on the occasion she wears panties, she puts them on one leg at a time just like every other lady. Why she agreed to marry me when I asked is still an unsolved puzzle to me.

Sooooo...my question is? What does a guy do to keep a beautiful wife faithful and monogamous? You have given her all the material things she needs or wants. Your Visa and Mastercard are maxed out. She's driving a Porsche SUV. Jewelry? Sure, why not. She wears her three carat wedding ring you bought her proudly. The necklace, solid gold ankle bracelet and diamond toe rings are all glistening in the sunlight on her $200 freshly mani/pedi fingers and toes as she shops for more...stuff.

I don't know the answer to my question. I guess you have to trust that she loves you as much as you love her. Treat her with respect and hope she does the same to you. I must have failed somewhere for her to take a lover but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Enough history. Melinda asked her companion to get a table as she would be there shortly. She grabbed a stool and sat down beside me. I looked at him. He was tall, dark, and ...average. Probably in his mid 50's. Melinda is 36.

I said, "Melinda, I'm sure the barkeep will have a paying customer soon that will need that stool. Don't get comfortable."

She said, "You mean you're not going to buy the love of your life a drink for old times sake?"

I said, "Nope."

She actually had the gall to pout, as her nylon clad toes made contact with my leg and began that familiar up and down stroke on my leg.

I said, "Really? Melinda? By the way, you trolling the nursing homes for dates now? He looks a little old for you or the dick fairy was VERY good to him and you're taking him on a test flight later."

She said, "Robbie, you used to love my toes when I did that and stop that. He's a nice guy...just a friend from work."

I said, "Melinda, I still do love that, I'm just not crazy about who those toes are attached too. It's not their fault they are attached to you. I mean, if those gorgeous toes were attached to the foot of the bearded circus lady, the starved, skinny wife of a Somali pirate, or I might even consider Hillary Clinton on one of my really rough days, maybe I might enjoy it, but you kinda killed that little special toe seduction for me and you."

Melinda said, "That bad, huh? You hate me that much? It was only the one time, Robbie. I regret it to this day. I'm sorry. It should have never got to that point. I was a weak woman who lost the best thing that ever happened to her for an hour of lust."

I said, "Melinda, I don't hate you. I hate what you did. I hate that you all but killed a man who adored the mud between your toes. You fucked away what I thought was a pretty damn good marriage...for what? Melinda, HE KNOCKED YOU UP! For God's sake. The one time you say you strayed, you let another man cum inside you and put a baby in you. How fucked up is that? That privilege was mine and mine alone. I'm sorry, you lost the baby. I guess it wasn't meant to be at that time."

I noticed the barkeep was eyeing me, so I quieted down. Melinda was crying softly. I hated seeing her cry. That was one soft spot for her and she knew it. I still loved the unfaithful cunt. I took her by her hand and led her to a booth in the back.

She said, "Robbie, I got off the pill because we were trying to have a family. He used a condom but It broke. I knew I was in trouble when I felt the heat of his semen spreading through my womb. I prayed that I was in my safe time, but I wasn't. Five weeks later, I woke up sick. I knew I had lost you. I was pregnant with Jack's baby. I've never seen anyone so heartbroken than when I told you what I had done and the result."

"I'm so so so fucking sorry, Robbie. I know you think different, but I never stopped loving you. I lost myself for a few days and let a smooth talker into my head and my body. When I told him I was pregnant, he just laughed it off and told me to get rid of it. I slapped him as hard as I could and he knocked me down. I tried to get up and he hit me again. I ran out after he punched me in the abdomen. I haven't seen him since."

"I knew you too well. The disrespect I showed you was too much. You would never accept me or another man's baby into your life so I filed for divorce to save you from having to do it. I asked for nothing. You were my hero from the moment we met and I failed you as a wife, a lover, and best friend. You could never trust me again."

"Aside from my adultery, I let material things rule who I was and thought I was. I was the beautiful Melinda Hammer. You were right. The beauty was on the outside only. Inside,I was a self entitled, selfish, cold hearted bitch who never deserved a man like you. When I miscarried, it also damaged my uterus, Robbie, I can no longer have children. I guess God is punishing me."

I looked at her sad, blue eyes and I knew she was spilling her heart to me. Something she had not been able to do until now. I noticed her date had left when we moved to the booth.

She laid her head on my shoulder and wept. Ok, I know...how much of an asshole can I be, right? This was my woman...once...and she is asking for forgiveness in her way. We just sat there, not saying anything for what seemed like hours with me holding her in my arms. I lifted her head and kissed her. She looked at me with a surprised look.

She said, "Robbie, tell me how to get you to love me again and get you back in my life. I want you to know something else. After you left me, I swore no man but you would ever touch me sexually again. I have been true to that promise to myself. I'm sorry to say that Jack was the last man to be inside me all those years ago. I would like for you to correct that someday."

"I don't know, Melinda. You've given me a lot to think about. You hurt me. I'm not the same Robbie you stabbed in the back five years ago. I'm more wary with relationships. I don't fall for meaningless words and tears anymore as easy as I did. You say you want us together again. At this point, I'm just hearing words with no substance. How do I trust you again because at this moment I have zero confidence in the idea you would be faithful."

"I understand, Robbie. When I came in and saw you sitting here, I thought I had to try to see if you had anything left for me. Even after five years, I still love you just as much as the first day we met. I know I threw us away but there will never be another. I want you back. I see you're not ready to think about me right now so I will go. Take care of yourself, okay?"

I said, "You, too, Melinda." She left her business card on the counter, slid off her stool and with the graceful stride I knew so well, strolled out of the bar.

I sat there thinking about all that she's said. I paid my tab and went home. The more I thought about our conversation the more I became aware of my feelings for her. I didn't confess it but she didn't know how wrong she was. There's not a day goes by that I don't think about her and the wonderful life we had together. The love and life we shared in and out of the bedroom was a fairy tale for me.

Then I had an epiphany, I still loved her as much today as the day we met. It was as if my hurt had been replaced by a new emotion. The feeling and all the emotions that accompany forgiveness. Every heavy emotion I had been carrying for almost five years had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was free...free to love this flawed woman again and free to choose to let her back into my heart again...or not. Free to create a new life with an old, new love if I wanted. The door was open. Do I take a chance on her or continue on as I have been. One lady after another that didn't and couldn't measure up to Melinda.

I debated with myself on my decision for a few days and punched in the number on her card. The voice I adored for almost five years said, "Good Morning. This is Ms. Hammer. How may I help you?"

I said, "Melinda, Ive been thinking about everything you said the other day. When you have time, I want to talk to you at length about us and any future we might or might not have. First, I have to say our old marriage and relationship is dead and buried. As of this moment, if you want, I would like to ask you out on a date and maybe cautiously see where we are and our expectations for any relationship we might have going forward. We will start a new healthy relationship based on an old love that got lost for awhile. Are you hungry?"

She was silent. Then, "Oh My God, Robbie, this is more than I could have ever dreamed could happen. Yes, Oh Yes, I'm starved."

Chapter 2

I picked Melinda up at her building and drove to The Chop House. All the way there, she held my hand and held it so tight that it became numb from lack of circulation. Her eyes were full of tears...tears of joy, I hoped.

She asked, "Robbie, do you mind if I get comfortable?"

I said, "Sure." We arrived at the restaurant and I parked. She seemed to have regained her spirit and had stopped crying. She opened that huge bag that all women seem to carry these days to haul their...stuff. She brought out a pair of sexy little black ballet flats. She turned toward me in her seat and swung her feet and long legs over in my lap.

She said, "Robbie, would you unbuckle my ankle straps, please" and handed me the flats. These are so much more comfortable that those heels. Would you do the honors, Sir, while I fix my face?"

I slipped her heels off her pretty little feet. She arched her foot and pointed the nylon covered toes of her left foot just inches from my face.

She said, " Do you remember those toe rings? You gave them to me for my birthday one year. I wear them regularly to remind me of the man I stupidly lost."

I held her foot in my hand and stroked it from her heel to her toes, feeling the toe rings through the nylon. She closed her eyes and smiled as my hand roamed her foot and sexy leg. I slipped the flat on her left foot. I repeated the process with the right foot. Needless to say, she got the desired effect as she dropped her feet right on the boner she created. She grinned, knowingly, as she touched up her lipstick.

I watched her as we walked into the restaurant. Her natural walk and stride would make a dead man get out of her way. We were seated and got our drinks. I just took in her beauty.

"Robbie, if I may start this conversation, this is a dream come true for me. I feel like I've been freed of the self inflicted pain I've forced on myself since we split up. You were an amazing husband that I took for granted our whole marriage because I was shallow, immature, and self absorbed in my own little world. I've grown up, Baby. I don't know what your plan is for me and us and I don't care as long as I'm with you and you let me love you the way I should have the first time."

"After the divorce, I looked in the mirror one day and asked, "Who are you?"

"In the mirror I saw a 32 year old narcissistic adulteress, divorcee whose belly was swelling with a man's baby that couldn't compete with her husband in any way. How pathetic is that. I was the daughter some mothers wish they never had. For sometime after that, even though I knew I was prettier than average, I really thought the best part of me ran down my mom's leg. I was a terrible person let alone, wife."

"I spent a week in the hospital after the miscarriage and the hysterectomy. I was lost. One of my nurses talked to me a lot and I wound up telling her my sad story."

"She gave me a business card of a therapist, Dr. Anne White, and said I should make an appointment. I did and I still see her, not as often as I once did, but when I'm down, her advice seems to help. At the time, she tried, unsuccessfully I might add, to get me to abandon my self imposed celibacy, find someone, and rejoin life. I told her, I did find someone and I lost him. I wanted no other. She told me that devotion like that could be considered unreasonable given the circumstances. I told her that I knew you were still unattached and I was going to do my best to show you that the old Melinda is history. I knew getting back into your life was going to be an uphill task."

"She advised me to get myself healthy first before going on any crusade to win you back. She wanted to know what happens if all my efforts to get back in your life fail and you tell me to piss off. I told her that if I had learned nothing else from our meetings, I had learned that I will be ok. If I find another love in my life, it will be a different one. So, it took over four years to get my head on straight and to get rid of the old Melinda Hammer. That bitch still tried to get back in a few times but I focused on my goals and beat her down. The new Melinda Hammer, and yes, Robbie, I'm proud to still use the name Ms. Hammer although I wish it was still Mrs. Hammer, is still a work in progress."

"When I entered the bar with Jim this afternoon and surprisingly, saw you sitting there alone, I thought, maybe this is my one and only opportunity to try to get you to forgive me, if nothing else. When, I heard the bitterness in your voice, I knew I had an uphill battle. Robbie, thank you for listening to me. I'm not so naive that I think everything is forgotten and ok. I know it's not. I haven't forgotten and I know you never will. My wish and hope is that this Melinda might be one you might want to get to know better."

I said, "Wow, Melinda. That's a lot to take in. what do you say that we start off slow and make sure this is what we both want. We've been apart nearly five years. A lot has happened in both our lives. You say there have been no lovers in your life since our divorce. I can't say that. I've had lovers, a number of them. Sad part is I always compared them to you. Not a one could live up to the challenge of Melinda Hammer."

"To coin a cliche...it was just sex. That's all it was. A couple of them wanted to put in an application to be the next Mrs. Hammer but I didn't have it to give to them. You had spoiled me for any other woman. The bar was set so high for them, there was no way they had a chance."

"I think tonight we should eat, drink and celebrate this day as a breath of fresh air on an old love. Then we go home alone and think about where we want to go from here. I'm not sure this will be as easy as you think, Melinda."

Melinda continued, "I will do whatever you think is best for you, Robbie. I hurt you and broke your heart. I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. At the same time, I am still in love with you and I want to be in your life in some form. If you decide it's to just be friends, then that's more than I hoped for when I saw you the other day. I don't mind saying, I want more...much more. I want to be the woman that I should have been and you want me to be."

We talked, had a great dinner, and then after a while, we got quiet. I was looking into those gorgeous eyes when, a shoeless, nylon covered foot appeared in my lap. She knew that always got my motor running and that hadn't changed. I gently massaged her foot and toes under the table cloth.

"I said time to go, Sweetheart. I have things to do tomorrow."

I paid our tab while she put her shoe back on. We walked out holding hands. As we drove back to the bar to get her car, I asked what happened to the Porsche as she was now driving a Toyota Camry that was a year or two old.

She said, "I couldn't afford the payments after we split. Besides, it reminded me of places and times I'd rather forget."

I opened the truck door and helped her out and walked her to her car.

She said, "Always the gentleman, Robbie Hammer. That's what I always loved about you. Thank you for this time with you, Robbie."