"Thanks for coming over today, Eric; I really appreciate this."
"This may be a bit difficult for me, Alysha. Please explain again what you need from me."
"Sure, as I mentioned on the phone, I am doing my doctoral thesis on the psychology of victimhood. I am trying to show the psychological differences, if any, between different types of victims. I have lined up or already met with people who were in terror attacks, a woman who was kidnapped, two people that were abused; a child and a wife, and three spouses who were cheated on. Each of the spouses reacted differently to the cheating. I am more focused on the victim's emotions, immediately prior to and following the episode, in order to learn and maybe help others cope with the emotional distress better. As I mentioned, in my dissertation, I will not use anyone's real names and I will try to avoid identifiable events to protect your innocence as much as possible. I will also allow you, if you'd like, to read my thesis, prior to submission. There may be a lot of psychological terms that I use."
Alysha MacDonald was the wife of one of my closest friends, known to all as Mac. They have been married over 30 years. She called me out of the blue the other day and explained all this to me. I was a bit nervous, and afraid of how I would handle bringing up old wounds. Alysha, however, was a great friend of mine and helped me, or tried to help me, so much in my time of need, way back then.
"Okay, but why now? Why didn't you complete your doctorate all those years ago?"
"After I completed my masters, we started having children, and now that the boys have finally moved out, I think it's time. My old professor, Helen Robinson, is still working and has encouraged me to complete my requirements for a doctorate. I believe you are well acquainted with her."
"Yes, you are bringing up so many memories, some quite painful."
"I'm sorry, Eric. Maybe you retelling your story will be some kind of therapy for you, if you need any.
"Eric, I will be taking notes and as you speak, I will be recording you. My notes will focus on your implied reactions as you reiterate the details. Please speak in the first person for yourself, and when referring to me, please use the 3
rd
person narrative and not the second. Please try to treat me as someone who doesn't know any details whatsoever."
"Okay, that may be a bit weird, but I will do my best. Where should I start, what should I focus on and where should I end the story?"
"That's a great question. The focus should be on the days, weeks and months prior to the cheating and following the cheating; until you decided what you were going to do about it. I think it would be very helpful to lead up with your courting and emotional needs in the beginning of your marriage, and at the end, you can fill in what you have felt over the years after you were cheated on. How often did you think about it, how often did it come up, how did you, to the best of your opinion, emotionally handle the history? I will focus on the emotions. Please try to be as factual as much as you can and not analyze yourself.
"The one thing that doesn't have to be said, and I will describe this in my doctorate, is that I do know you and your strong beliefs of right and wrong and your strong sense of ethics. I will use that and try to explain, as best I can, the decision you made. With my other two victims of cheating; one male and the other female, I don't have that knowledge, so I will try and pry that out of them, but that may be difficult for me."
"Okay, Alysha, turn the tape on."
*****
The main event of my story occurred about 30 years previously. It was a bit after my 30
th
birthday. I was working for the same company from which that I am about to retire. I am vice president, with stock options that are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. At the time of the incident, we were a small company. I was one of the first ten employees, hired by the then owner, president and CEO, my great friend, Sam Murray. Sam and I weren't acquainted prior to me joining his firm, but through the years we have developed a very close professional and personal relationship. I had been working for Sam for about seven years at the time of the incident, and there were two other people who were working for the company then who were key players in my story: my wife Sandy and our best salesman, George Thomas.
They say (I'm not sure who they are) that the husband is always the last to know. Well, in this case, I'm pretty sure I was the third to figure it out and the first two didn't need to, since they were already aware.
I headed the Post Sales Department at SM Services. My job was to manage all the active accounts, make sure our customers were satisfied with our services and solutions and I was responsible for negotiating and renewing all contracts. All George had to do was bring in the client, get the initial contract signed and then move on to the next. George had a partner in crime and that was his boss, Alex Jensen. Alex was senior to George, but once Alex hired George, our sales took off. George started about two years after I did, and when George came aboard, I needed to create a team for all the new business that he brought in. That is where Sandra Elkins came in. She was this bright-eyed smart as a whip kid who just graduated with a bachelor's degree in management, and very eager to work hard. I say a kid because she was just 21 and I was almost 26 at that time.
During the interview process, it never once occurred to me that we would, date, fall in love and eventually marry. That was so far beyond the realm of professionalism. If you had asked Sandy, she thought of me as this much older guy who would become her boss, if she passed all my requirements. She, too, never considered romance when she was interviewing. I was, in fact, only five years older than she was, but I guess working for more than four years gave me this aura of maturity. She thought I was much older than my 26 years.
I didn't have much of a budget to work with, and Sandy was very inexpensive. She was also personable, very knowledgeable, very smart and even I noticed, she was very attractive, which I felt would also help with the customer base. I hired her. I decided that we should share an office in an open space layout, and left room for growth. Pete and Tammy joined within a few years, and I had my team to manage for our growing business.
On the personal front, I did go out once in a while, usually a blind date set up by my one of my sisters, but I hardly met anyone I wanted to date a second time. I did hang out with my college buddies from time to time. There were four of us, Jerry, Bobby and Mac (his name was really Deion MacDonald, but we all called him Mac). Jerry married his high school girlfriend, Laura, and they were already expecting their second child. Bobby met Juanita on the job. Bobby was a salesman for a manufacturer of sheets and linens, and Juanita was a buyer for Bed, Bath and Beyond. They met and were married within nine months of their initial date. We had recently celebrated Mac's marriage to Alysha, so I was the last remaining holdout. Laura, Juanita and Alysha were always sending me names and numbers of their friends. I actually managed a third date with one of Alysha's friends, but she wasn't interested in a long term relationship. Most of the time, I was married to the job.
One of the requirements that I had to fulfill was travelling to trade shows. I would always go with either Alex or George. It was during one of these shows that I got a two glimpses of George's real personality. There was a two-day show in Vegas, and at the time, I think I only had Sandy on my team. I felt that Sandy was capable enough to manage the clients and I was only a phone call away. This was before the days of email and cell phones, and certainly smart phones.
George manned the booth and I listened to the questions that the prospective clients were asking and to his answers. I had never heard so much bullshit in my life. He was promising the world, and then it would be up to me to deliver.
"George, what is that? You know we can't answer their needs. Why are you making promises like that?" I said to him privately.
"Eric, my boy, that is the way it works in the sales world. We need to get the fish to take the bait and then I rely on you to figure out how to keep the client happy."
"George, did you ever do any analysis of the cost to the company to provide a profitable solution to these clients?"
"Eric, that isn't my problem. My job is to bring in the sales."
"Does Alex know that you are doing this?"
I actually was aware of these crazy deals that we signed, but didn't understand that it was George and not Alex that was making them.
"Alex, ha, he don't know shit. Last year I brought in revenues of over $4,000,000, while Alex is still in the $2,000,000 to $2,500,000 range. It's unfair that as my boss he gets commissions on my business. I think I should renegotiate my terms with Sam."
I was going to say I thought I should let Sam know what you are doing, but let it slide. I decided that I would do an analysis of all the business that George brought in and our costs to deliver the solutions.
George was much older than I was. He was around 40. He was even older than both Sam and Alex, who were in their mid-30's.
After George and I had dinner, he suggested that we go to the bar in the hotel. We met many of the potential buyers there, and everyone was drinking and having a good time. George had me alone for a second.
"Hey, Eric, you see that blond with the big tits over there?"
"How can anyone miss her; she's practically falling out of her dress."
