Flying Lessons

Learning To Fly

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I thought I had left it behind me, but there she was, big as life. Before I could speak she shot by me into my new living room.

"Nice couch."

"Get the fuck out."

"Please Jake, don't be ugly. I'm here to make peace."

"You want peace? Move to Siberia. You couldn't do that, could you? Far less married couples there for you to fuck up. Leave."

"It was supposed to be an adventure! We were sure you'd be into it, especially after you knew Janie and Deke were already fucking! We had no idea how badly you would take it."

"You could have fuckin' asked first? Then there would be no misunderstanding and maybe one more marriage still in the world. Know why I think you sprang it like you did? Because you knew there would be no way I'd go for it and the deed would already be done. Did I ever once say I'd be into swapping? I seem to remember a discussion about that very thing a few weeks before what happened. I think I was pretty emphatic with my opinion then."

"You were. But we'd done this a lot, and we were sure we could sway you. Janie was ready to go the first time we brought it up with her, but she didn't want to put her marriage at risk."

"A lot, huh? How many marriages have you two destroyed?"

The bitch flushed. "One or two, and they were just like this, miscalculations. And we always try to fix our fuckups. We'll pay for counseling, even a nice vacation to somewhere exotic. Fiji is really nice."

"So now you're offering blood money. Or is it payment for services rendered? Maybe it's because I'm naming you as codefendants in the divorce. I don't think your reputation in the community will be quite as stellar as it once was. After all, I've got a police report as backup. Should have gotten me farther away before you spilled the beans. You should have seen you face when I threw your phone out the window."

I paused, remembering. Now, I could appreciate the humor. "I think the last thing the cops expected when they showed up were two naked people running for their lives. Make no mistake, Jewel, if I could have gotten to Zeke that night, there would be no more swapping incidents."

For the first time she showed a little fear. "You were going after his junk, weren't you?"

I'm sure my laugh gave her a little fear. "Don't worry, I wasn't going to stomp on his balls. I was going to cut them off and shove them down his throat. Then I was going to cut that cock he's so proud of off and shove it up his ass. Or maybe hers. I didn't have the plan completely formulated when the cops showed up."

She looked a little green, realizing for the first time she was alone in an apartment with a very large man with proven violent tendencies. I stood at the open door.

"Leave."

Jewel took a few deep breaths and got centered. "You know, we could finish the exchange, make us all even. I'm very good in bed. I could show you things, do things you've no idea about."

She held up the front of her dress, revealing a bald, dripping pussy. It looked like I wasn't her first stop of the night.

"I have a feeling the things you would want to show me belong in a freak show, or maybe an alien abduction. Tell me, Jewel, do you know how to fly?"

Jewel seemed surprised with the question. "No."

"Well then. Here's your first lesson."

I snatched up her five foot even frame and threw her so hard she hit the opposite hall wall three feet off the ground. She slid down in a daze, her dress sticking to the sheetrock and slowly rising, until she was sitting with her legs spread wide, showing everyone her lack of underwear. There were five or six people in the hall, and before Jewel got her wits back I exploded in a shout.

"Five hundred dollars? For that wornout...?" I hammed it up a little for the benefit of my neighbors. "I wouldn't even be the first tonight! You need to go back down to Trade Street and see if you can sucker some old guy out of a fifty. Now get out of here! I'm calling the cops and giving them your description, telling them there's a whore here going door to door drumming up business. Go!"

She jumped up and ran out screaming. A couple of the residents apologized to me, saying something like this had never happened before, and how shocked they were. I made them think Jewel was probably lost and high, and picked the wrong apartment complex. I don't know who called, but the cops came out and took a report. I was vague enough on the description until I described her pussy. "It was gaped, and leaking, and ugly as hell. She had tattoos. Her vaginal lips were fringed with jagged looking teeth. On top of her mound was 'I love cock', or something along those lines. There was also an ace of spades on her upper thigh."

The cops grinned as they promised to put out an alert and a description.

I went back in and finished my pizza.