Hey Fuckers
Shit meets fan. That has been what I have been up to for the last month or so. So here we go. Chapter 8 "What Kind of Man I Am" is next on my agenda.
No editor besides myself. I just went through this chapter a few more times and found way too many mistakes. Beware!
The Cast
Alex- Husband
Alyssa- The soon to be ex wife
Lisa - Ex girlfriend, dated right before he met Alyssa
Tammy- Waitress at Paddy's who Alex hooked up with Friday night.
Bruce- Alex's friend - works with Alex
Joe- Alex's friend - Real Estate Agent
Bill and Barb - a couple that is friends with Alex and Alyssa.
Lauren- friend, works with Alex
What has happened so far.
In Chapter One, Bruce called Alex because he saw Alyssa making out with another man at the pub. She was supposedly out on a girl's night with friends. Alex decided he was done with the marriage and would go out as well. He thought of a game and his buddies decided to actually do it. The game was, that Alex would do as he pleases and see how long it takes for Alyssa to say enough. Bruce would sell squares. The person who bought that square of the day when the conversation happens, wins the pot with 20% going to Alex.
At Paddy's Pub, Alex had flirted with Tammy all night and was heading out to eat with her after her shift, or so he thought.
In Chapter 2, Alex hooked up with Tammy.
*****
Chapter 3
Around noon, Saturday.
"I was home by 11 last night and you stayed out? Since when do you go out drinking all night?" she asked in a sarcastic tone.
"I don't. I did have fun. Except for this hangover. Wait a minute. This was your ah, third Friday girl's night in a row? What bar did you go to last night? Meet any guys?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and sarcastic return.
"Um. We went to a few different ones." she said and then looked away.
After that she made a quick exit to the bathroom. I saw her face flash guilt for a split second. She came back a few minutes later.
"I'll go grocery shopping now and we can do laundry Sunday." she said smiling.
"Okay." I said.
I guess we we're done talking about Friday nights. Ha ha. I was just going to tell her about the banana cream pie I had.
She left around one. I went and grabbed my phone out of the truck. Thinking about the banana, I sent a text to Tammy.
"I had a spectacular time last night Beautiful. Alex."
About five minutes later my phone chirped.
"Me too! Still a little sore. LOL."
I fired back a response.
"I thought about your banana. I'm hard again."
Buzz.
"OMG. I have never been like that before. I am so embarrassed. You! Mister! Make me do bad things." she said.
"You were awesome. I feel bad. I think I should come over and clean your kitchen island. We can use a towel next time."
"Next time huh?"
"Maybe? I hope you have a great weekend. I'm going to lay low and recover."
"Thanks. I'm off Tues and Wed. Hint hint." she said.
That sounds like she wants to see me again. Why not? Maybe I'll get her in the shower.
"I have a softball game at 8ish on wed. Can I take you for a bite after? I really want to bite your bottom again."
"Sounds great. But I don't remember you biting my bottom?"
"Then I'm definitely giving your amazing butt a good bite! See you around 10 PM at your place."
I deleted all the messages. This is a pain, but shouldn't last too long.
Alyssa got back with the groceries around three. I only have to deal with her for two hours! Then she'll head for her parents.
I watched a movie while she ran around doing this and that. Then she started preparing to meet her parents. We made small talk, but it was just blah blah stuff.
My phone vibrated. Bill? Oh shit that's right.
"Hey man. I questioned Barb about the Friday nights bullshit. She said she agreed to cover for Alyssa last week and this week. She knew that Alyssa was going to hook up with the guy from her work, Ray. He was chatting her up all night that Friday over two weeks ago. I am beyond pissed. She has agreed not to speak to Alyssa or go out with her again under threat of punishment by me. I'm sorry, if I had known I would have told you right away. Let me know if you need anything."
I gotta a name at least. I'll deal with Ray in my own sweet time.
"Thanks man. Just keep this quiet. I'll see you at the game Wednesday."
She went to the door around 5 as I expected.
"I'll see you later. Probably 10 or so. Love you." she said.
"See ya." I replied.
What a bitch. Part of me wanted to kick her ass out now. Maybe I should call her while she is at her parents. Hey honey, put me on speaker. Tell your parents about your new boyfriend Ray.
Nah. So far, this has been real fun. I'm sure I'll feel shitty down the road. I still can't believe she would do this to us?
I called her Dad about 10 minutes later.
"Hello Alex." he said.
"Hi Dad. Um, I don't know if Alyssa told you that I was sick and wasn't coming?"
"No she didn't. You okay?" he said.
"I went out last night with the guys and had way too many. Than we went out to eat around 1 AM. That was my second mistake. Kinda of paying for it today."
"Ha-ha. Well, you'll feel better by Sunday." he said.
"I don't know how Alyssa does it? She has been out three Friday nights in a row drinking. Girls night."
"Oh. I never knew her to be like that." he said with hesitation in his voice.
"Me either. Anyway, I got to hit the toilet again."
"Take care Alex."
"See ya Dad." I said.
I figure I have a good four hours to do anything I wanted. So I typed up a list of things I needed to do as far as financial protections and emailed it to my work account.
My guess is she will want to talk next weekend, since we have to work all week. I'm going out Friday regardless of what she does. That leaves Saturday for her intervention.
How do I play it? Ask her to move out. If she doesn't? Hmmm.
Smokers! She hates smokers. I'll start smoking or at least fake smoking. Good plan.
I put on a movie and also researched divorce shit the rest of the night.
Hmmm. It says here this was an excellent time to make a big purchase. Time to trade in the pickup?
I could do a Challenger. Plum crazy mother fucker. Yeah! I'll shop for a car this week.
My mind dazed during parts of the movie. Fucking memories. I quickly shut them down and thought payback. You hurt me. I return it ten fold baby. After the bad breakup with Lisa and a previous cheating girlfriend, the Rule was invoked. If it happens again, it's fucking over.
She texted me at 1030 PM saying she was coming home exhausted. I quickly threw on some sandals and left the condo.
I drove to the store first and bought some ginger ale. At 10:50 I shot Alyssa a text.