February Sucks...Goodbye Jim
Prologue:
It seems that writing a variation of this story is a rite of passage for the Loving Wives authors on this site. I have tried to keep the influence and spirit of the original while offering my perspective on this captivating tale. It is full of errors for which I apologize and I'm sure one of the faithful commentators will readily document. Oh well.
As always, this is a piece of erotic fiction that contains adult situations and content including sexual scenes. All characters are fictional but represented to be above the age of 18.
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I sat there in my living room all night long. My mind was filled with broken images of the erotic scenes that were undoubtedly unfolding in Marc's bedroom. That fucking Asshole was driving Linda crazy by nibbling on her sensitive nipples. They were hard and she was arching trying to get more of her titty into his mouth. His fingers were sliding through the folds of her wet pussy as she moaned his name. I wanted to scream at them. I wanted to break his fingers for daring to touch her. I wanted to break every tooth in his fucking head. The image in my head morphed and they were going at each other orally. If I had any idea how to get to them, they would die where they lay. I was powerless to stop this horrific night from unfolding and I was powerless to stop the nasty images floating through my mind. I could see her snuggled into his chest with a euphoric smile telling him that it was the best night of her life. I could see him smirking at me as she told him. All night long I would slip into unconsciousness and wake in a fit of terror as the dreams started.
In those interminable hours, I came to several realizations. The foundations that I had built my life upon were faulty. I had always believed that people were good and that circumstances led to their poor choices. This was wrong. People are self-serving assholes that will do whatever they can to satisfy their desires.
A quote from my Intro to Philosophy class came to me:
"Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad"
- Diogenes. He was a cynic and I found myself agreeing more and more with him as I tried to answer the question that was gnawing at my guts "Why?" Why had Linda abandoned me? Why had our life not been enough for her? Why had our vows not been important to her? I could feel the madness creeping in as I realized that no answer would ever be enough. It was simple, Linda was an asshole that did what she wanted to fulfill her desire. I was an asshole who had loved her and believed she loved me because it fulfilled my desire.
The sun came streaming through the windows and I decided that I needed to pick up the kids. I went to our room and changed clothes. 10 minutes later I was loading the kids in the car and heading for breakfast. Emma asked, "Where's mom? Why didn't she come to pick us up with you?"
"Mommy went out with a friend last night after dinner," I explained. "She told me she would be back home today."
"Can we have pancakes?" Tommy interjected.
"Sure, pancakes would be good."
We sat at IHOP and I watched them eat their chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream and lots of syrup. Hopefully, their energy levels would provide enough distraction to delay dealing with the fallout from last night. I simply sipped iced water. "Aren't you hungry, daddy?" Emma inquired. "I'll share my pancakes with you if you want."
"No thank you, Emma." I was having a hard time with my normal terms of endearment. The kids had done nothing wrong but I knew that they would grow up and move off into their own lives, leaving me abandoned just as Linda had done. I couldn't find the desire to love anyone, including my children. There was a sense of dread that I couldn't define and all I wanted to do was close myself off from everyone.
"I'm done," Tommy announced.
"Okay, let's go to the bathroom and wash up while Emma finishes up."
"I'm done too, Daddy."
"Alright then, let's get cleaned up." I motioned for our waitress and asked for the check.
"Will there be anything else?" she asked.
"No, just the check please."
"No problem, I hope that you guys enjoyed your breakfast with Dad," she said to Emma and Tommy. "Do you do fun breakfasts every weekend?"
The implication was clear and presented a harsh new reality that I might have to face--weekend dad for two kids that were innocent in all of this bullshit. "No, Mommy and Daddy normally fix breakfast at home for us and we don't get whipped cream," Emma assured her.
"Well, I hope you guys enjoy your Saturday and come back a see us again soon."
I left her a decent tip and we headed back to our house after we cleaned up in the bathroom. The kids tumbled into the door and set about finding some cartoons to watch on the TV. Mid-morning, I heard a car pull up in our driveway, and Linda walked through the door 90 seconds later.
"Jim, I'm home!"
"Mommy!" Emma and Tommy squealed as they rushed to greet her. "Did you have fun with your friend, Mommy?" Emma asked.
"Uh yes, I did sweetheart," she replied obviously caught off guard, "but I'm so glad to be home with my babies. Where's daddy?"
"He's in the kitchen, I think," Emma told her.
"Is he making you guys breakfast?" she asked them.
"No, he took us out for pancakes and now we're watching cartoons. You wanna watch with us?" Tommy implored.
"Let me go talk to your daddy first and then get changed."
"Okay, Mommy," they both shrieked as they ran back to the couch.
"Jim, are you in here baby?" She asked as she entered the kitchen. I didn't bother acknowledging her or responding to her question. "Jim, why didn't you answer me? I'm home, baby. I'm the same woman I was last night. I still love you just as much as before."
I just spun my wedding band like a top on the tabletop like I had been doing while I waited for her to get home. I looked up and met her eyes before picking up my ring and tossing it to her. "I'm going out for a while. Not sure when I'll be back."
"Jim, please don't leave. I'm sorry that I hurt you, it's just that, that" she stumbled over her words. "It's just that I had an opportunity to pursue a fantasy and I couldn't walk away from it. I want to thank you for allowing me to have last night. It was so special to me and I will do everything I can..." I didn't hear the rest as I walked past her and out the door.
Fuck Jim! He's a fucking loser that lost his wife to a fucking man slut. Fuck Jim! He believed that love was a real thing and that Linda loved him. Fuck Jim! He thought that being a good man would be enough to build a life on. Fuucck Jim! I never wanted to be called Jim ever again. My fucking name is James.
It was cold and I had left without a jacket. I had my wallet and keys so I walked back and grabbed my car. I needed to forget about Linda and Jim. Jim, and his idiotic notions of love, is dead. Jim was gone and he's going to stay that way.
I went to a local dive bar and sat down on the far end by myself at 11 AM. "Whatdya havin'?" the barman asked.
"You have a single-malt?"
"Got Dewar's. You celebrating or mourning?"
