February Sucks But Youll Miss It Ch 03

This is a continuation of the "February Sucks, But You'll Miss It" series, which was a takeoff from George Anderson's "February Sucks". To understand it, please read the original and previous chapters in the series. George Anderson's story can be found here:

https://www.literotica.com/s/february-sucks

An additional chapter is in the works, and I will finish the series eventually, if I live long enough. There is a little bit of sex in this, but mostly for laughs. Thanks to all for comments on my previous efforts. :-)

LATER THAT DAY (March 1st)

***

Linda finished getting the house back in order while Jim was picking up the kids. She threw together a salad and heated up spaghetti, so dinner was almost ready when the kids burst through the door with Jim close behind.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Tommy shouted, grabbing Linda around the legs as she stood in front of the stove.

"Careful, Tommy, I don't want to spill hot spaghetti sauce all over you. Now go sit and we'll have dinner." She rumpled his hair and pushed him towards the dining room table. Emma and Jim were already seated there. Emma was chattering about their day at Mrs. Porter's house.

"We played games all this morning and then we helped Mrs. Porter make chocolate chip cookies. It was real easy, Dad."

"I hope she didn't let you eat all the cookies," Jim said, smiling.

.

"No, just one each. They were big cookies. Did you and Mom have fun?"

"You bet we did, sweetheart!" Jim said, with a gleam in his eye. "You'll find out when you grow. up. There is nothing more fun than a night of dancing and staying at a fancy hotel. Isn't that right, honey?"

Linda blushed and didn't answer, dishing out the spaghetti. She was subdued throughout the meal, but Jim was more talkative than usual, wanting the kids to explain details of every game they played and every show they watched at Mrs. Porter's. He seemed positively bubbly, and Linda wondered why. Did that hooker really make him so happy?

While Linda was cleaning the kitchen, Jim took the kids upstairs and settled them down for the night, reading stories and answering questions about the stories until they nodded off. Then Linda could hear him brushing his teeth in the bathroom. He came out of the bathroom and smiled down the stairs at her.

"It's been a pretty long night and day for both of us," he said. "I don't know about you, but I'm pooped and I think I'll turn in. Good night, hon."

Linda wanted to say something, but she didn't know exactly what. Jim turned and went into the bedroom before she could answer. She was tired but agitated, and knew she wouldn't be able to sleep for a while. She poured herself a glass of wine and sat at the kitchen table to think.

Linda remembered the one time in her life when she stole something. It happened when she was in college. She was low on money one Saturday night, so she shoplifted a pint of vodka from a grocery store, shoving it into her purse. She took it back to her dorm room and drank it with her roommate. They mixed it with orange juice and got really drunk. Somehow they started necking and fondling each other's breasts, then they masturbated together. Linda always told herself that one stolen bottle didn't make her a thief, and one makeout session with a girl didn't make her a lesbian. So a single night in the bed of a handsome celebrity surely didn't make her a loose woman, and should not seriously harm her marriage. That was what she told herself when she was sneaking out the door with LaVallierre. But it looked like her action had caused a reaction, and not the one she expected. Instead of acting the jealous husband, Jim was like a horny young skirt chaser, and a smart-ass to boot. She had never seen this side of him, and hoped it was nothing more than an act to get back at her. Linda had expected that Jim would reclaim her with a few nights of makeup sex. Now it looked more like she was the one who needed to do the reclaiming, to make her husband forget that filthy whore.

***

I was halfway asleep on my right side when I felt Linda slip into the bed. After the way she was ragging on me earlier, it would not have been a surprise if she slept on the sofa downstairs, but she slid right up behind me and I could feel her naked body against my back. She reached around and fondled my cock through my underwear. The last round with Kandy had left me tired and fucked out, but it was pleasant to have my newly slutty wife try to reacquaint herself with my equipment. I turned over on my back and let her fondle my nuggets while she laid her head against my chest and rubbed her pussy against my leg. Her modest-sized tits were squashed against me and I tried to appreciate them in their own right, without making any unfavorable comparison to the bombshells I had enjoyed that afternoon. But the blood wasn't flowing and my head wasn't in it. I had a feeling that Linda was doing this to prove something, and there was another nagging doubt at the back of my mind.

"Make love to me, Jim?" she murmured.

I murmured back "Honey, maybe we should call it a night and hold off on the, uh, intimacy for awhile."

Her hand withdrew from my balls and her body relaxed. She didn't really want to do anything tonight any more than I did.

"So how about tomorrow night? I'll be ready to rock you by then." She sounded more tired than sexy, but I appreciated the effort.

"Sure, we'll see. But I was just thinking, were you safe last night?"

"Was I safe? He didn't hit me or anything."

Linda preferred euphemisms and I didn't want her to get mad again, so I tried to make a joke of it.

"What I mean is, how did Mister Marc park his pork? Did he wear a hat? Jacket? Raincoat? Sausage casing? Was it California rolls or raw sushi?"

Linda had drawn back and, while I could not see her face in the dark, I was pretty sure she was looking at me like I was crazy. "What on earth are you talking about, Jim?"

Linda wasn't usually this slow on the uptake. I wanted to keep things light, but couldn't help the sarcasm seeping into my tone.

"Okay, I am assuming that your paramour ejaculated into your body several times last night and this morning. There is no need to tell me if he came up with some new orifice a guy like me would never dream of. The question is, did he use condoms or some other form of protection?"

"Condoms? Why would we need condoms? You know I'm on the pill."

For some reason, she still wasn't getting it. We didn't use condoms and it was possible Linda had never even seen one up close.

"It isn't pregnancy I am worried about. Face it, you did swap fluids with a cockhound who probably has a different groupie every night. The asshole could be carrying some kind of cooties."

Linda gave a disgusted snort and rolled over, turning her back to me.

***

TUESDAY (March 4th)

The plastic chairs in the waiting room were probably designed to be uncomfortable. It wasn't supposed to be a place to hang out. Linda sat glumly, trying not to look around at the two dozen other people in the room. They were mostly younger singles of both genders, just as you would expect. Jim was relaxed, leafing through a battered copy of Sports Illustrated. The kids were back in school and they had both taken a long lunch hour from work.

When Linda realized what Jim was suggesting, her first reaction was anger and disbelief. Why should he suspect her of sexually transmitted health issues, when he was the one who had sex with a prostitute? But Jim was insistent. He said it was just to be safe, and cheerfully agreed to get himself checked too. When Linda refused to go to their family doctor for such an embarrassing reason, Jim said he would figure something out. So here they were in the county public health department's VD clinic, surrounded by strangers. It was first come, first served, so they had to sign up and wait their turn, after filling out forms full of embarrassing questions. They had been waiting almost an hour.

Linda caught a glimpse of a familiar face when a young man entered the room. Oh god, please don't let him see me! She grabbed a copy of Good Housekeeping and tried to hide her face, but it was too late. There was Ronnie, a junior clerk from her office, standing right in front of her. He was a well-dressed guy with a neat goatee, smiling and friendly. Everybody at work knew Ronnie was gay and proud of it.

"Why Linda, so nice to see you! Is this handsome devil your husband?"

"Jim, this is Ronnie," Linda mumbled. Jim gave him a firm handshake and said he was glad to meet him.

"I'm afraid I caught a new strain of something," Ronnie said, grinning ruefully. "You know, itch and burn. A little too much partying, I guess. What brings you guys here?"

"Oh, erm, it's a family planning matter, just a checkup" Linda said, blushing furiously.

"Well, that is interesting! I didn't know they offered that kind of thing here." Ronnie was shaking his head in amazement. Just then the nurse called Jim and Linda, so they were able to break off the conversation. "We never should have come here!" Linda hissed, as they headed to the examination room. Jim just smiled and nodded.

"How can I help you?" The physician was a young hippie-looking guy with thick glasses and a long beard. His manner was completely neutral and professional, but Linda couldn't help feeling exposed before his beady eyes. She was sure he was smirking at her. His question hung there, and Linda didn't know what to say. Finally Jim spoke up.

"We just opened up our marriage, and we want to be sure we haven't caught anything from our new partners. You know, the drip or whatever."

Linda was shocked to hear him say it out loud, but the doctor was unfazed. "Do you have any symptoms? Sores? Painful urination?"

"Of course not!" Linda said, too sharply. Jim just said he hadn't noticed anything.

"Have you both had multiple partners?"

Jim said yes before Linda could say no. She didn't like the word "multiple". It was only one and it hardly counted.

"The best thing is to take samples from both of you. Urine specimens, swabs and a little bit of blood. We can check for the most common infections and have the results in a few days."

Linda felt a rising sense of panic, but he called in a female nurse to take samples from her in a separate room. She was thoroughly humiliated as she laid back on the exam table with her panties off while the nurse swabbed her pussy and rectum, putting each swab in a separate container. But the nurse was chirpy and cheerful; clearly this was no big deal to her. She asked for "some weewee water in the cup, dear". After swabbing Linda's throat, she jabbed her arm for a blood sample and sent her back to join Jim and the doctor. They were already done taking Jim's samples.

"If the tests show any problem, we will call you to come back. We will also mail the result. If you don't hear from us, the tests are all negative but you can always ask for written confirmation."

Jim said, "Hey man, that's great! If we get negative letters we can frame them and put them in our trophy case!" This got a laugh from the medic but Linda didn't think it was funny.

"Viral infections like HIV can take much longer to show up so you should consider coming back in a month or two for a recheck. In the meantime be sure to practice safe sex."

He handed them a brochure titled "Practicing Safe Sex." He winked and said "Of course the safest sex is no sex at all. Or ..." He made a jerking off motion with his hand. "Gotcha!" Jim said, as Linda cringed.

On the way to their car, Linda grumbled "That was a waste of time! Ronnie will blab it all over the office that he saw me here. I'm his boss!"

"You saw him here, so you're even."

"Like he would care!" But Linda wasn't just worried about what Ronnie would say. She didn't see herself as the kind of person who would ever need an STI check. How did it come to this?

***

Back at work, Linda was not surprised when she heard the knock on her office door. It was Ronnie, of course, but he seemed unusually subdued. She had always liked Ronnie. His brassy, offbeat humor lifted her mood during a day at the office, and he was good at his job. Now he appeared almost bashful. She had him close the door and sit down.

"Linda, I just wanted to apologize if I offended you at the clinic today. Sometimes my mouth is ahead of my mind. I probably should have left you and your husband alone."

"There is no need to apologize. You were just being friendly, I know."

"Yeah, but it probably wasn't cool to announce my infection in front of the whole room. I know you and your beautiful man were there for family planning, and probably didn't expect to run into a screaming slut like me."

"Oh, Ronnie, please don't run yourself down! We're all only human and you didn't offend me at all."

Ronnie was actually sniffling a little and looked as if he might cry. She handed him a box of tissues. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose.

"I just want to tell you, Ronnie, you have been doing a great job here and everyone in the office likes you. Just keep it up and you will go far as long as I have anything to say about it."

Ronnie's face lit up. "Linda, it is so sweet of you to say that. I know we're just talking business but it means a lot to me!"

Linda's mood was much improved by Ronnie's guileless enthusiasm. "Listen, Ronnie, why don't we go out to lunch tomorrow? It's on me so we don't have to talk about work."

"Oh my god, Linda! That would be great!"

Ronnie was bubbling over with good cheer as he accepted, thanking her profusely. When he stood up to go, he struck a pose and declaimed in a rich baritone voice,

"I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,"

Linda was thrilled to hear some of her favorite lines from William Butler Yeats. Before Ronnie could continue, she chimed in,

"And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made."

Ronnie was astonished. "Oh my god, Linda, you know poetry?"

"I studied English literature in college. But there weren't a lot of English lit jobs when I graduated so here I am."

They compared notes on similar career paths. It turned out Ronnie had a master's degree in comparative literature. They would have plenty to talk about. Ronnie left her with a smile, and she looked forward to lunch with him.

***

When Dee called that evening, Linda was surprised she had not heard from her sooner. Of course Dee would want to hear the juicy details about Marc LaVallierre, if there were any. As it happened, Dee was just the person Linda wanted to talk to.

"So how was your night with Mister Big? I would have called Saturday but Jim seemed pretty pissed off and I thought you needed time to calm him down."

Linda thought about making up something about how great it was but she didn't have the heart. It already seemed like years ago.

"Mister Big was all right, but Jim is weird. You won't believe what he did."

"Moved into the basement? Changed the locks? Called you a slut?'

"No. He picked up a whore at the hotel and then brought her back to our house. Screwed her in MY bed so I could hear them doing it!"

Linda chuckled. "You ARE kidding, right?"

"I'm dead serious. He even asked me if I wanted to join in."

"Oh. My. God! Did you do it?"

"Of course not! What do you think I am?"

Dee laughed. "Oh Jesus, I always thought you and Jim were Mister and Missus Morals. I wish I could get Dave to be that loose!"

Dee didn't sound very sympathetic and Linda was getting irritated.

"It's not funny, Dee. I knew going off with Marc might cause some strain with Jim but I never dreamed it would blow up like this. And it's your fault. You told me to do it."

"Oh, come off it! I told you to go for it if you wanted to, but it was all your idea. We were all surprised that you would go through with it. It was more like something I would do."

It was more like something Dee would do, until now. They had known each other since they were teenagers, and Dee was almost like Linda's evil twin. Linda thought back to their high school yearbook. Her own picture showed a flat-chested, serious girl with her hair in a bun, smiling uncertainly into the future. She was still a virgin when she graduated. Dee's picture was the opposite -- saucy, smirking, with a budding rack showing under her sweater. She was known as the blowjob queen of her class, and not shy about it. They were friends because they were opposites. Linda the honor student helped Dee with her studies. Dee helped Linda to understand boys, although it wasn't until the night of the senior prom that Linda gave her first blowjob. That first one wasn't a total success, but Dee encouraged her to keep trying. After all, Dee told her, there was no such thing as a bad blowjob. Ask any high school boy about it. With pointers from Dee, Linda eventually got to be pretty good at blowjobs. Now she was in uncharted territory with Jim and Dee wasn't much help when she needed pointers on her marriage.

"Did you at least give him some good do-over sex?" Dee asked.

"Not yet. It would feel a little creepy after he's been with another woman."

"Look in the mirror, Miss Priss. You were with another man. I'd say you just have to grit your teeth and get back in the saddle. Is he really mad?"

"No, he seems happy. The kids think it's great that he's so full of energy. But he talks kind of dirty when they're not around, and I think he's been watching porn in the basement."

"Jim talking dirty, wow! Maybe you did a good thing. You might give me some ideas about how to handle Dave, so keep me posted."

Hanging up, Linda wondered if she should keep her posted. Dee was her oldest friend, but Linda sometimes thought of her as a bad influence. It made Linda feel weird to think she might be a bad influence on Dee for a change. There was no point in telling her about the STI tests. That was none of Dee's business.

***

WEDNESDAY, March 5th

Linda took Ronnie to The Soup & Salad Joynt, a downtown place she often frequented for business lunches. This could be called team building if she wanted to stretch the concept, but she wasn't putting it on the expense account. She needed somebody to talk to, but wasn't sure how candid she could be without crossing a line. After all, Ronnie was her subordinate, so it wouldn't be appropriate to tell him she had gonorrhea, even if he suspected it. She hoped they could be friends, if not confidants.

They went over their personal history, and it turned out Ronnie had studied at the same university just a few years behind Linda. They had some of the same professors and they shared an interest in poetry of the 19th century. They liked a lot of the same poets: Wordsworth, Shelley, Oscar Wilde and Yeats.

Linda could sense that something other than poetry was on Ronnie's mind, and he wanted to talk about it. Once they ordered, she started to feel awkward, not knowing what to say. She wanted to put him at ease, but hoped he wouldn't start talking about venereal disease. Soon Ronnie saved things by baring his soul. To her relief, the source of his agitation had nothing to do with sex. That morning he had been tasked with laying an employee off, and it really bothered him. He started pouring his heart out in a voice that was a little too loud.

"The poor guy! He has a mortgage and two little kids. His wife is a schoolteacher and they were barely getting by. Now we dropped this on him. I don't even know why we had to fire him. He had ten years in and his performance was fine. We have openings for new hires in the same department. Why get rid of the experienced people?"

Linda looked around to make sure nobody from the office was nearby.

"Sometimes that's just how it is, Ronnie. It's part of the job. People are let go for business reasons, and office politics. To be honest, the people who make these decisions don't always know what they're doing. Please don't quote me on that. If we spot an ethical problem, we can try to raise a flag about it, but otherwise we just have to deliver the bad news as compassionately as possible."