February Sucks But May Was Good

I couldn't resist the chance to try to find some different angle for the February Sucks story. Apologies to George Anderson for not acknowledging his work in the earlier published then pulled version of this take on his classic story.

By now everyone should be familiar with the story so none of it is repeated here.

.........

NEW ENDING:

My fake anger cooled as I walked the block and a half to the hotel.

I turned on the light and shut the door behind me. I repacked my suitcase and I checked out of the hotel.

I retrieved my F150 from the parking lot and reached under the seat to open my pistol safe. It wasn't the pistol I grabbed but instead I grabbed the burner phone I kept in there. I sent a text to the only contact listed in the phone - Porsche 911 fan. I simply said," Remember to treat it gently until the engine warms up then you can drive it hard and have a blast."

A few moments later I got a text back, "Thanks for the tip. It will be my pleasure to pay back the favor you did me 12 years ago."

Having known Marc since he was in college, I had every confidence that Linda was in for 24 hours of sexual debauchery. I knew Marc wasn't above using some pharmaceutical assistance in ensuring that the victims of his charm became very compliant.

For some reason when Marc became a very successful athlete I hadn't bothered to tell anybody that we had been friends in college and I did him some pretty serious favors in keeping his Porsche 911 running - a machine that helped him seduce what seemed like half the women in our college.

Over the next several months the divorce proceeded quickly. Needless to say, Linda was distraught with my unwillingness to take her back and forgive her for her "mistake". We both sought custody of the kids and visitation by the other spouse. Given the children's ages and Linda's otherwise respectable behavior it was clear the judge was leaning toward giving her custody. As the judge announced her decision on custody, she turned to the item of child support. She was getting ready to announce my monthly obligation based on income formulas used for these types of decisions, my lawyer objected and asked to enter some new information. He proceeded to provide the judge with documents indicating that neither child carried my DNA. As it turned out, Linda's weakness for Marc's charms was not a unique indiscretion. I had evidence of at least two additional sexual relationships - the children weren't mine and were only half siblings.

Linda gasped yelling, "No no no!" with a look of horror on her face. Our family and friends in the room were stunned as the reality of Linda's behavior and my motivations became clear. The judge needed a recess to sort this one out as she had lost her appetite for giving Linda custody but was hesitant to give custody to a parent not biologically related. It took home studies, reference checks and counseling sessions before the kids and I could settle into the routine of a single dad with two delightful young kids.

When it was all resolved and I was headed home from the courthouse, I reached into that gun safe and retrieved the burner phone a final time. My message to Porsche 911 fan was short, "Thanks, previous favors repaid in full."

A few minutes later I got a text response, "After several months of abstinence during the legal proceedings I suspect Linda might be in the mood for a weekend romp before I head off to training camp."

I smiled to myself thinking that's the Marc I remember from college. I had one final task, the burner phone managed to get run over by my truck before being disposed of in a public trash bin.

It was eight years later when my teenage kids, new wife and our 4 year old were waiting in the boarding lounge in the airport when Marc was one of the deboarding passengers at our gate. He yelled out a hello to me pointing to his Notre Dame sweatshirt logo. My wife smiled. About ten minutes later my kids asked, "Didn't you go to Notre Dame? Do you know that man, his face looks familiar?"

"A fellow Alum."

I suspect at some point they will recall seeing newspaper pictures of that familiar face.