From the picture taking earlier in that afternoon Pamela was feeling aroused. Yet she was troubled as to what had taken place. She had some uncertainty as to how to interpret the experience and excitement she felt. After changing the baby, she dressed herself and printed off a full set of pictures before giving the baby to his Aunt Betty to watch for an hour or so. Gathering her coat and boots she walked across the street to visit her mother. Fortunately her mother was alone so they could talk.
Through the planning and sharing of their feelings, she and her mother had become extremely close over the last two months. In many ways they had become each other's confidant.
As she entered the kitchen she found her mother singing joyously to herself. She appeared happier than she had in years. Tara was truly happy as for the first time in years, maybe since her teens, she felt this free and confident. Her visit earlier in the week with Vince's grandmother had a lot to do with it. She was also pleased to be able to deliver the grandmother's gift to her three children.
A part of it also had to do with Tara's self-confidence had grown stronger since October. She learned a great deal about herself from self reflection and in reading books. She read books on self fulfillment, rebounding from divorce, love, romance and erotica, and the legal issues related to divorce, discovery and entrapment. She also read two books about forgiveness and healing. From other readings she gained insight into her husband's egotistical nature and planned to use his cockiness and smoothness to her advantage. She wanted to be prepared as fully as possible. Too much was stake for miscalculation. She was going to be free of her husband on her terms, not his. He was going to be exposed before the whole family to the point where he would feel awkward being around any family member. Throughout their marriage he played her as a fool. She was a fool no more.
A major part of her joy was from what was confirmed a few days before, news she had yet to be able to share with Pam. Seeing her daughter's face Tara knew something was bothering her daughter. She set aside her joy to focus upon her daughter's needs.
Over coffee Pam told her mother what happened during the taking of the pictures. Her mother raised her eyebrows when she mentioned how Betty became involved in helping with more exciting pictures.
Tara studied the pictures her daughter took from her coat pocket. She found several of them to be tastefully erotic. She carefully listened to her daughter explain how she reacted to being touched by Betty, how Betty's kiss caused her heart to race and how even kissing Doris did something to her.
When her daughter finished talking, Tara sensed that the experience had shaken her. She asked her daughter several probing questions that helped her clarify Pam's feelings, fears and reactions. Tara helped her to understand that it was an emotionally charged moment and that what she felt was not wrong, just different. With a faint smile coming back upon her face daughter's face Tara joked that maybe she should explore such an experience, that it could prove to be fun. As she stood Pam was pulled upward for a hug.
"I am sorry to have ruined your mood." Pam quietly said as they broke their hug.
"The mood is not broken. I want you to be the first to know two pieces of news. Your great grandmother is selling two Florida properties. You and your brother will be receiving part of the proceeds. She did not say how much, but the news will be given to him and Vince on your father's birthday. But I have her permission to tell you and Jeff today that it will be significant." With that Tara hugged her daughter. She knew there was more news form her Vince's grandmother, but that news would wait.
When Pam asked for the other news, Tara took her daughters hands in her hands. As she drew them slowly to her belly she said "I went to the doctor just before seeing your great grandmother. You are going to be a big sister."
Pam leapt with joy for her mother. She knew that Tara desired a baby so bad and Pam was sincerely happy for her. She was amazed that during her first effort that weekend with her lover than she was now with child.
"When are you going to tell the father and Vince?"
"I do not know. I want to break the news to that man before on his birthday on January 18th and before he can tell me of his trip to California." They then talked how they will adjust their plans to set up the announcement.
"When will you tell the father?" Pam asked
"I am not sure how and when yet." With that Tara's face became a little downcast. How over three days her baby's father had made her feel desired and loved. His touch and words were sincere and not an act. And in response she found herself having feelings of love in return. She knew that this could happen but had disregarded what her head had told her about bedding him, particularly because he was married.
Noticing her mother's hesitancy Pam asked, "There is something wrong, what is it?"
Her mother kept saying it was just a little problem she needed to work through before she told him. When her daughter kept pressing her and saying that her mother was putting her into an awkward position Tara finally blurted out, "it is because he touched my heart. Pam, he did not just have sex with me, but he made love to me. I wanted it only to be about sex and to get pregnant, but I could not help loving him back even knowing we could never be together. How he talked to me, kissed me and touched me like I have never been touched before."
Pam sat silent and trying to take into herself the significance of her mother's words. She had fall or was falling in love with a married man, a man whose child she was carrying. It had not dawned on her that this would happen, but now she realized she really should have thought about it. Tara was so determined on finding any man to impregnate her that Pam could not sit passively just allow her mother to be harmed by picking up the wrong man. She thought if she could help at least stir her into a particular direction that her mother would not find herself in an abusive situation. She thought that for her mother the sex would be recreational without heart engagement just like it was for most of her friends from college.
Now Pam realized that she had misjudged matters. She solved one problem, albeit a great concern for her, and only substituted another. Now Pam needed to think how she could help her mother through this.